Jeeebus
Diamond Member
As I sit here on an ice pack contemplating whether this was my fault, whether I was asking for it, and whether this all could have been avoided if I dressed and presented myself less sexually, I ultimately take solace (as an optimist) in knowing that I won't need a colonoscopy for a while as my kitchen chair has taken care of that.
So there I was, descending the ladder steps, victorious in my quest to change a lightbulb (making me more handy than 94% of all ATOT brethren). I probably should have known that the gentle shimmering of my ass cheeks would be hypnotic to any being beneath me - whether alive or inanimate.
With reckless abandon I descended the ladder, hopping off the bottom step... but my feet did not gently land on the floor as planned. Rather, the Harvey Weinstein of kitchen chairs was apparently waiting for me. It did not hesitate at it forced itself upon me. I was powerless. My poop-chute met the full force and power of Hurricane Chair as it plunged itself into me.
Much cursing was had as I writhed around on the floor in pain that I had previously never felt... all the while the chair just smoked a cigarette and told me I had a bright future as an actor in this city.
My name is Jeeebus and this is my story.
So there I was, descending the ladder steps, victorious in my quest to change a lightbulb (making me more handy than 94% of all ATOT brethren). I probably should have known that the gentle shimmering of my ass cheeks would be hypnotic to any being beneath me - whether alive or inanimate.
With reckless abandon I descended the ladder, hopping off the bottom step... but my feet did not gently land on the floor as planned. Rather, the Harvey Weinstein of kitchen chairs was apparently waiting for me. It did not hesitate at it forced itself upon me. I was powerless. My poop-chute met the full force and power of Hurricane Chair as it plunged itself into me.
Much cursing was had as I writhed around on the floor in pain that I had previously never felt... all the while the chair just smoked a cigarette and told me I had a bright future as an actor in this city.
My name is Jeeebus and this is my story.
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