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I think I just solved the world's weight problem.

disappoint

Lifer
Dec 7, 2009
10,132
382
126
The world's weight is zero. Well close to zero.

I weighed it by simply turning my bathroom scale upside down. The Earth weighs as much as the scale. A trivial amount.

But what about the weight problem of overweight humans living on Earth?

Well it turns out that I've devised a system by which we can help these overweight folks out with no dieting, little to no exercise and no pills.

Just put them in orbit. Their weight drops to zero.

You're welcome. I await your accolades to my colossal intellect forthwith.
 

IronWing

No Lifer
Jul 20, 2001
72,899
34,002
136
I grilled some sausages tonight*. While the propane flame pre-heated the sausages, they were essentially cooked by the heat given off by their own burning fat. So I also have some ideas concerning weight loss.




* That's a euphemism used by a certain sort of man, you know what I mean <wink, wink>, for grilling sausages.
 

ImpulsE69

Lifer
Jan 8, 2010
14,946
1,077
126
Funny, I recently surmised that the reason so many more people are fat now than 100 years ago is because a) more people, duh, b) quantum entanglement.

If we can just master quantum entanglement we can rid the world of heavy people. See through quantum entanglement, when your neighbor eats a Big Mac, those calories also make their way to you.
 

sandorski

No Lifer
Oct 10, 1999
70,785
6,345
126
Funny, I recently surmised that the reason so many more people are fat now than 100 years ago is because a) more people, duh, b) quantum entanglement.

If we can just master quantum entanglement we can rid the world of heavy people. See through quantum entanglement, when your neighbor eats a Big Mac, those calories also make their way to you.

I knew those assholes were up to no good. The fuck!....
 

FeuerFrei

Diamond Member
Mar 30, 2005
9,144
929
126
What about the mass problem? Obesos often get stuck in tight spots or crowd their neighbors. It's a major inconvenience.
 
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Raduque

Lifer
Aug 22, 2004
13,140
138
106
If you're not measuring the weight from the south pole, you're not getting a valid result.
 

sdifox

No Lifer
Sep 30, 2005
100,364
17,925
126
Since most of the universe is dark matter, your mass approaches zero.

Google Total Perspective Vortex for explanation.
 
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