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I need some advice on a situation with my GF...

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the games people play :roll:
in the grand scheme of things this incident really means nothing. don't make it into something.
 
Originally posted by: Astaroth33
Originally posted by: Whisper
It's a relationship, not a debate. It's not really important who is "right," or who apologizes first, so long as you both realize that you messed up, and you both eventually say you're sorry. I'd recommend that you swallow your pride and get it over with. If this becomes a habit with her, then start to seriously examine things between you two. Otherwise, just move on.
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Best advice in thread thus far.

Sounds to me like you both need to grow up.
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The thing is, if I just give in all I'm doing is positively reinforcing this behaviour of hers. If I do that, it will just happen again because she knows if I "swallow my pride" she get's to "win".
 
Originally posted by: Kaido
There's a quote out there somewhere along the lines of, "would you rather be right or happy?"
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Exactly!! I mean wtf, who the hell cares who started it. Apologize for cursing at her, and get on with life!!! Are you really that petty?
 
Originally posted by: Stefan
Originally posted by: Astaroth33
Originally posted by: Whisper
It's a relationship, not a debate. It's not really important who is "right," or who apologizes first, so long as you both realize that you messed up, and you both eventually say you're sorry. I'd recommend that you swallow your pride and get it over with. If this becomes a habit with her, then start to seriously examine things between you two. Otherwise, just move on.
Click to expand...

Best advice in thread thus far.

Sounds to me like you both need to grow up.
Click to expand...

The thing is, if I just give in all I'm doing is positively reinforcing this behaviour of hers. If I do that, it will just happen again because she knows if I "swallow my pride" she get's to "win".
Click to expand...

and in which case....if that happens regularly in the future, do you really want to be in a relationship with someone like that?


 
Originally posted by: moshquerade
the games people play :roll:
in the grand scheme of things this incident really means nothing. don't make it into something.
Click to expand...

There's a good Huey Lewis song I like along these lines. The message is "will it really matter 100 years from now?"
 
If you want to keep the peace, apologize.
If you want to send a message that you will not tolerate any bu!!shit, dont apologize.

Be as stubborn as she is and one of two things will happen.
1) She will realize that you wont put up with childish mood swings and immature games.
2) She will not ever call you again and your relationship will be over.
Either one of those will bring you peace and quiet.

Or you can do what my b/f does when I am wrong and want him to apologize....

He says... "ok Karen, I am sorry that you got upset".

🙂
 
Originally posted by: KarenMarie
If you want to keep the peace, apologize.
If you want to send a message that you will not tolerate any bu!!shit, dont apologize.

Be as stubborn as she is and one of two things will happen.
1) She will realize that you wont put up with childish mood swings and immature games.
2) She will not ever call you again and your relationship will be over.
Either one of those will bring you peace and quiet.

Or you can do what my b/f does when I am wrong and want him to apologize....

He says... "ok Karen, I am sorry that you got upset".

🙂
Click to expand...

you still want him to apologize when you are wrong? 😕
 
Originally posted by: KarenMarie
If you want to keep the peace, apologize.
If you want to send a message that you will not tolerate any bu!!shit, dont apologize.

Be as stubborn as she is and one of two things will happen.
1) She will realize that you wont put up with childish mood swings and immature games.
2) She will not ever call you again and your relationship will be over.
Either one of those will bring you peace and quiet.

Or you can do what my b/f does when I am wrong and want him to apologize....

He says... "ok Karen, I am sorry that you got upset".

🙂
Click to expand...

heeyyyyy that's pretty slick 🙂
 
Get used to it, son. It stays just like this forever.
You're not going to listen to this, but I'm going to tell you the secret to dealing with this situation...
Say "Yes, Dear". If the occasion comes to pass where "No, Dear" is more appropriate, stick with "Yes, Dear" unless you're goddam good and sure she wants you to say "No, Dear". Your answer is going to be wrong one way or another, so don't stress about it.
Once you've answered, she'll continue working your nerves until you want to twist her head off. Don't bother, she won't learn anything from it anyways.
If you can avoid walking 45 minutes home or talking to police officers you've won the fight. She may even admit she was wrong at some point in time. Don't believe it for a minute. She's still right in her head, and she'll remind you about it later.
If you want to put a swift and brutal end to the battle, throw out the "C" word. If that doesn't set her bawling and shut her up immediately, say something really mean about her mother. That should do the trick.
Welcome to the hell that is women. 😀
 
Originally posted by: Hyperblaze
Originally posted by: KarenMarie
If you want to keep the peace, apologize.
If you want to send a message that you will not tolerate any bu!!shit, dont apologize.

Be as stubborn as she is and one of two things will happen.
1) She will realize that you wont put up with childish mood swings and immature games.
2) She will not ever call you again and your relationship will be over.
Either one of those will bring you peace and quiet.

Or you can do what my b/f does when I am wrong and want him to apologize....

He says... "ok Karen, I am sorry that you got upset".

🙂
Click to expand...


you still want him to apologize when you are wrong? 😕
Click to expand...

sometimes... when I am acting like a female and being totally unreasonable. Cannot help it sometimes,... nature of the beast and all that. 😉

Seriously, if i think i am right, and he thinks he is right... we will yell and scream and call each other horrible names and tell each other to D.I.A.F. and that we hate each other... then we will storm off in different directions... 10 minutes later we will start laughing about it and how it was a good fight or not.. then he will say... "i am sorry, if you are sorry"... and I will say i am sorry, and he will say... i am sorry you got upset...

🙂


 
Originally posted by: shilala
Get used to it, son. It stays just like this forever.
You're not going to listen to this, but I'm going to tell you the secret to dealing with this situation...
Say "Yes, Dear". If the occasion comes to pass where "No, Dear" is more appropriate, stick with "Yes, Dear" unless you're goddam good and sure she wants you to say "No, Dear". Your answer is going to be wrong one way or another, so don't stress about it.
Once you've answered, she'll continue working your nerves until you want to twist her head off. Don't bother, she won't learn anything from it anyways.
If you can avoid walking 45 minutes home or talking to police officers you've won the fight. She may even admit she was wrong at some point in time. Don't believe it for a minute. She's still right in her head, and she'll remind you about it later.
If you want to put a swift and brutal end to the battle, throw out the "C" word. If that doesn't set her bawling and shut her up immediately, say something really mean about her mother. That should do the trick.
Welcome to the hell that is women. 😀
Click to expand...
you call your woman a c***?

welcome to the hell that is shilala :shocked:

 
The serious replies in here are words of wisdom I wish I heard a while back.

To be honest, it was really my stubborn fault and right now she and I are going through hell right now. The relationship is torn all because I wasn't man enough to just apologize (even though this isn't your fault, according to you). The thing is, we were definately serious, and there really wasn't anybody else like her.

Long story short, one of the replies here is right with your situation, if you want to stay together, better swallow your pride and get used to it. I'm sure there were and will be a few times she will do the same too.
 
Originally posted by: moshquerade
Originally posted by: shilala
Get used to it, son. It stays just like this forever.
You're not going to listen to this, but I'm going to tell you the secret to dealing with this situation...
Say "Yes, Dear". If the occasion comes to pass where "No, Dear" is more appropriate, stick with "Yes, Dear" unless you're goddam good and sure she wants you to say "No, Dear". Your answer is going to be wrong one way or another, so don't stress about it.
Once you've answered, she'll continue working your nerves until you want to twist her head off. Don't bother, she won't learn anything from it anyways.
If you can avoid walking 45 minutes home or talking to police officers you've won the fight. She may even admit she was wrong at some point in time. Don't believe it for a minute. She's still right in her head, and she'll remind you about it later.
If you want to put a swift and brutal end to the battle, throw out the "C" word. If that doesn't set her bawling and shut her up immediately, say something really mean about her mother. That should do the trick.
Welcome to the hell that is women. 😀
Click to expand...
you call your woman a c***?

welcome to the hell that is shilala :shocked:
Click to expand...
Did I say that?
As a matter of fact, I save that up. It's the dealbreaker. The queen mother. The "Piece de resitance".
She always has the same response, "Don't you ever call me a C***". I reply, "Then quit acting like one".
The argument is then over, we say our apologies and have filthy animal sex.
It's the oldest game in the world.
And yes, I am sheer unadulterated hell. She wouldn't have me any other way.

 
Originally posted by: Stefan
Originally posted by: klispic
She should... but as men, we must realize that no matter what we are always wrong... always will be in the female eye. Just apologize and get it over with, even though you won't mean it.
Click to expand...

I hate backing down when I think I'm right.
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Yeah, but is it really worth it over something that dumb?
 
Originally posted by: shilala
Originally posted by: moshquerade
Originally posted by: shilala
Get used to it, son. It stays just like this forever.
You're not going to listen to this, but I'm going to tell you the secret to dealing with this situation...
Say "Yes, Dear". If the occasion comes to pass where "No, Dear" is more appropriate, stick with "Yes, Dear" unless you're goddam good and sure she wants you to say "No, Dear". Your answer is going to be wrong one way or another, so don't stress about it.
Once you've answered, she'll continue working your nerves until you want to twist her head off. Don't bother, she won't learn anything from it anyways.
If you can avoid walking 45 minutes home or talking to police officers you've won the fight. She may even admit she was wrong at some point in time. Don't believe it for a minute. She's still right in her head, and she'll remind you about it later.
If you want to put a swift and brutal end to the battle, throw out the "C" word. If that doesn't set her bawling and shut her up immediately, say something really mean about her mother. That should do the trick.
Welcome to the hell that is women. 😀
Click to expand...
you call your woman a c***?

welcome to the hell that is shilala :shocked:
Click to expand...
Did I say that?
As a matter of fact, I save that up. It's the dealbreaker. The queen mother. The "Piece de resitance".
She always has the same response, "Don't you ever call me a C***". I reply, "Then quit acting like one".
The argument is then over, we say our apologies and have filthy animal sex.
It's the oldest game in the world.
And yes, I am sheer unadulterated hell. She wouldn't have me any other way.
Click to expand...
umm... yeh.... you forgot to add where you throw lamps and sh*t 😕
 
Originally posted by: KarenMarie
Originally posted by: Hyperblaze
Originally posted by: KarenMarie
If you want to keep the peace, apologize.
If you want to send a message that you will not tolerate any bu!!shit, dont apologize.

Be as stubborn as she is and one of two things will happen.
1) She will realize that you wont put up with childish mood swings and immature games.
2) She will not ever call you again and your relationship will be over.
Either one of those will bring you peace and quiet.

Or you can do what my b/f does when I am wrong and want him to apologize....

He says... "ok Karen, I am sorry that you got upset".

🙂
Click to expand...


you still want him to apologize when you are wrong? 😕
Click to expand...

sometimes... when I am acting like a female and being totally unreasonable. Cannot help it sometimes,... nature of the beast and all that. 😉

Seriously, if i think i am right, and he thinks he is right... we will yell and scream and call each other horrible names and tell each other to D.I.A.F. and that we hate each other... then we will storm off in different directions... 10 minutes later we will start laughing about it and how it was a good fight or not.. then he will say... "i am sorry, if you are sorry"... and I will say i am sorry, and he will say... i am sorry you got upset...

🙂
Click to expand...

Are you stating the fact that by being a female, you are therefore unreaonable? 😉

ps, i like the way your boyfriend does it. made me smile.
 
Can I say that I'm apologizing, not because I have to apologize first, but because I'm going to be the more mature person?
 
Originally posted by: moshquerade
Originally posted by: shilala
Originally posted by: moshquerade
Originally posted by: shilala
Get used to it, son. It stays just like this forever.
You're not going to listen to this, but I'm going to tell you the secret to dealing with this situation...
Say "Yes, Dear". If the occasion comes to pass where "No, Dear" is more appropriate, stick with "Yes, Dear" unless you're goddam good and sure she wants you to say "No, Dear". Your answer is going to be wrong one way or another, so don't stress about it.
Once you've answered, she'll continue working your nerves until you want to twist her head off. Don't bother, she won't learn anything from it anyways.
If you can avoid walking 45 minutes home or talking to police officers you've won the fight. She may even admit she was wrong at some point in time. Don't believe it for a minute. She's still right in her head, and she'll remind you about it later.
If you want to put a swift and brutal end to the battle, throw out the "C" word. If that doesn't set her bawling and shut her up immediately, say something really mean about her mother. That should do the trick.
Welcome to the hell that is women. 😀
Click to expand...
you call your woman a c***?

welcome to the hell that is shilala :shocked:
Click to expand...
Did I say that?
As a matter of fact, I save that up. It's the dealbreaker. The queen mother. The "Piece de resitance".
She always has the same response, "Don't you ever call me a C***". I reply, "Then quit acting like one".
The argument is then over, we say our apologies and have filthy animal sex.
It's the oldest game in the world.
And yes, I am sheer unadulterated hell. She wouldn't have me any other way.
Click to expand...
umm... yeh.... you forgot to add where you throw lamps and sh*t 😕
Click to expand...

I don't throw anything. I don't hit, I don't break anything, and very, very seldomly do I raise my voice.
The wife smashes things, hits, chokes, questions my parentage and generally goes all out nutso.
It's a very uncommon occurrance but it always coincides with her bimonthly psycho rag. Her left ovary takes over her mind. The whole household knows it's coming four days before it happens.
We deal with it because we love her more than anything in the world.
It passes and we know we're safe for a good time to come.
 
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