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I need help in determining what a PEN Symbolizes.

W

WayneTeK

Golden Member
Ok, i'm trying to give this pen as a gift to the girl i'm seeing because she got a job as an ASSISTANT in an office.

I'm writing a card right now and i'm having a difficult time expressing what i'm trying to say.

So far i have this:

"I know the gift isn?t much, but it?s more symbolic than anything else. The pen is a powerful tool because when you use it, you express your thoughts on paper... You write memos that keep track of your busy schedule and appointments.. And someday, you could be signing checkbooks for your employees of your thriving company.. The expression of the mind through words is a powerful instrument.

I hope this pen will serve as a stepping stone for greater challenges in life."

Wishing You The Best In LIfe,
Maverick.

What you guys thinK? any feedback or corrections is greatly apprecaited.
 
Originally posted by: sniperruff
how about:

"you are a hotty
want to have dinner tonight?
got new credit card"

haha
Click to expand...

come on guys... i have to take her out in less than 1 hour... i need your input.. seirous input, not some corny stuff...
 
corny stuff? man that was a haiku... guaranteed that will put a smile on her face!

alright... how about:

"congrats on your new job. a good pen is hard to find."

good?
 
I'd cut it way down to something short and sweet like

"Congratulations, I hope this small gift will help you on your journey.
Best wishes,
---you"
 
Originally posted by: DaveSimmons
I'd cut it way down to something short and sweet like

"Congratulations, I hope this small gift will help you on your journey.
Best wishes,
---you"
Click to expand...

i like i like.. short and simple...
 
"
Congratulations on your new job!

I hope this pen will serve as a stepping stone for greater challenges in life."

Wishing You The Best In LIfe,
Maverick.
 
Unfortunately, at least in song the symbolism of an assistant and a pen is usually an office romance, often using "dictation" as an entendre, e.g.:

Richard Thompson, "Why Must I Plead"

All your bitterness and lies
Sting like tears in my eyes
And a thousand lovesick tunes
Won't wash away the wounds from my mind
You've been seen around, you're a news sensation
You got a better deal and you took his invitation
You've been sitting on his lap and taking his dictation
. . . .
 
Originally posted by: DaveSimmons
Unfortunately, at least in song the symbolism of an assistant and a pen is usually an office romance, often using "dictation" as an entendre, e.g.:

Richard Thompson, "Why Must I Plead"

All your bitterness and lies
Sting like tears in my eyes
And a thousand lovesick tunes
Won't wash away the wounds from my mind
You've been seen around, you're a news sensation
You got a better deal and you took his invitation
You've been sitting on his lap and taking his dictation
. . . .
Click to expand...

maybe the pen is a bad idea..
 
Originally posted by: WayneTeK
"
Congratulations on your new job!

I hope this pen will serve as a stepping stone for greater challenges in life."

Wishing You The Best In LIfe,
Maverick.
Click to expand...
Looks good.
 
Originally posted by: DaveSimmons
Originally posted by: WayneTeK
"
Congratulations on your new job!

I hope this pen will serve as a stepping stone for greater challenges in life."

Wishing You The Best In LIfe,
Maverick.
Click to expand...
Looks good.
Click to expand...

thanks.. well, the whole angle i was trying to get with the pen idea is easily traced back to high school and jr. high school. the mom would buy you clothing, books, etc. so that you may have a successful career in the studies.. i was tyring to do the same with the pen, but iono.. it's hard to word it.
 
maybe the pen is a bad idea..
Click to expand...

Not at all, I was referring more to your original draft where you went into specific office uses of the pen. By itself and with a short note like the above it's just a nice gift.
 
The following sentences have errors or sound awkward:

All of them.

Is it at least a nice pen?
 
Originally posted by: DaveSimmons
maybe the pen is a bad idea..
Click to expand...

Not at all, I was referring more to your original draft where you went into specific office uses of the pen. By itself and with a short note like the above it's just a nice gift.
Click to expand...

yeah.. thanks. 🙂 keep it short and simple.. gotcha. thanks agian.
 
Originally posted by: WayneTeK
"
Congratulations on your new job!

I hope this pen will serve as a stepping stone for greater challenges in life."

Wishing You The Best In LIfe,
Maverick.
Click to expand...

What kind of a magical pen serves as as stepping stone for life challenges?
 
You: Uh...I'm gonna give you something new, but if you don't like it let me know...

Her: Uh...okay.

You: Stick out your right hand (give her the pen).

Is this the girl that has been mentioned before? Just say something like...well, when I'm not with you, you can use this pen to remember me. Holding this pen symbolizes you holding my hand.


Sorry...but I say go easy on the letter and not too weird about it. Just congratulate her on her job and just tell her the pen is just a gift to wish her luck. Save the poetry for the engagement ring.
 
A pen is like a penis...you wrap your fingers around it...play with it...and sooner or later something comes out...holding this pen symbolizes holding my....😉

lol this is just sad and pathetic...dont give people pens...it'll only make them look at you wierd
 
Just a suggestion:

"I know the gift is not expensive but it?s meaning is more symbolic than than materialistic . The pen is a mighty tool because thru it's use , you express your thoughts on paper... You write memos that keep track of your busy schedule and appointments.. And someday, you could be signing payroll for the employees of your thriving company.. The expression of the mind ,through words, is a powerful instrument.

I am not sure about the commas in the last sentence, though.

🙂
 
Originally posted by: bobbybe01
You: Uh...I'm gonna give you something new, but if you don't like it let me know...

Her: Uh...okay.

You: Stick out your right hand (give her the pen).
Click to expand...

buahahahahahaha
 
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