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I need help. Anyone?

Zeze

Lifer
Anyone here good with Salesforce implementation that can help me?

At my current work, I got sort of thrown into this case study for our assessment of using Salesforce in the future.

I'm bit out of my depth and it would be great if someone can help me. I just have few questions along the way and help me shine at work, it'd be greatly appreciated.

We can Gmail chat (I prefer), your IM client of choice, or even PM here.

Please PM me. 🙂
 
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LOL @ Project Manager...

This, ladies and gent, is a prime example.

Why, because I've never used Salesforce?

Still buttsore from typical internet argument of engineer vs PM? In real life here, both departments work hard and do excellent job.

Screw off if you got nothing to contribute. 🙂
 
Why, because I've never used Salesforce?

Still buttsore from typical internet argument of engineer vs PM? In real life here, both departments work hard and do excellent job.

Screw off if you got nothing to contribute. 🙂
Nah, it's actuality, as proven here and not just "internet argument". And as illustrated, you're a shining example of it.

Your problem is that you have no idea on how to manage a project properly, evident by your constant requests for help on this forum. This is not the first time.

This is free, next time it will cost you:

1. Gather resources - both technical and personnel (if you don't know what resources you need, then tender your resignation)
a. For technical questions about shits that you have no clues about, contact the vendor, usually they have these people call "sales engineers", and these "sales engineers" may be able to give you some sort of technical documentation that will get you started. I'm not certain, but I have a good hunch that this approach might work.
2. Coordinate an intelligence gathering meeting between resources
3. Be THE liaison between the resources, get them what they need, document everything.
4. Make sure you take care of the necessary internal paperwork/compliance/governance/BS that your resources may encounter.
5. Document everything.
6. Coordinate more more meetings on intervals to make sure everything is on time/budget, etc...
7. If shits start to go pear shape, get on top of it and see why. Yeah, I know that's a given, right? You'll be surprised how many people in this thread doesn't get that concept.
8. Document everything.
9. Get your resources hookers and blow may help in some cases.


Now, get to it, bitch.
 
Nah, it's actuality, as proven here and not just "internet argument". And as illustrated, you're a shining example of it.

Your problem is that you have no idea on how to manage a project properly, evident by your constant requests for help on this forum. This is not the first time.

This is free, next time it will cost you:

1. Gather resources - both technical and personnel (if you don't know what resources you need, then tender your resignation)
a. For technical questions about shits that you have no clues about, contact the vendor, usually they have these people call "sales engineers", and these "sales engineers" may be able to give you some sort of technical documentation that will get you started. I'm not certain, but I have a good hunch that this approach might work.
2. Coordinate an intelligence gathering meeting between resources
3. Be THE liaison between the resources, get them what they need, document everything.
4. Make sure you take care of the necessary internal paperwork/compliance/governance/BS that your resources may encounter.
5. Document everything.
6. Coordinate more more meetings on intervals to make sure everything is on time/budget, etc...
7. If shits start to go pear shape, get on top of it and see why. Yeah, I know that's a given, right? You'll be surprised how many people in this thread doesn't get that concept.
8. Document everything.
9. Get your resources hookers and blow may help in some cases.


Now, get to it, bitch.

Lol, random personal attack?

Who made this guy mad?

Just because you have trouble keeping up with PMs at your work, doesn't give you the right to take out the frustration on internet forum rather than in person with a tail between your legs. :colbert:

Typical socially inept engineer who frequents a tech forum and insults others online? Hmm.
 
LOL, keep adding to the stereotype, your personality is a great fit for your job.

My guess is that you won't last long at your new found job. Good luck. BTW, a simple "THANK YOU!" would be the appropriate thing to type.

I won't bother retorting to your other...
 
Ug, I hate PMs. They know nothing and dictate what people who do know how to do things. PMs should always be on ritilin. Hell, I fired several just because my team kept complaining. The best PMs are the engineers and techs. All you need is a good director who wants to work and then you can eliminate all PMs.
 
LOL, keep adding to the stereotype, your personality is a great fit for your job.

My guess is that you won't last long at your new found job. Good luck. BTW, a simple "THANK YOU!" would be the appropriate thing to type.

I won't bother retorting to your other...

I'm doing great at my job. Now attacking that I won't last long in my job? Geez.

SSSnail, I know your message meant well, but you gotta work on your social skills. It's all delivery and how you say it.

You don't barge in here, make an insult, then expect the recipient to bow to you and heed your advice? (A terrible condescending captain obvious advice to boot)

That kind of crap will never get you far ANYWHERE in life- work, personal relationships, friends, everything.

Who's digging himself into the perfect stereotype hole? 🙁
 
Ug, I hate PMs. They know nothing and dictate what people who do know how to do things. PMs should always be on ritilin. Hell, I fired several just because my team kept complaining. The best PMs are the engineers and techs. All you need is a good director who wants to work and then you can eliminate all PMs.

My experience as well. I work with a number of PMs and all they do is complain about the people around them and never take accountability. Shit all ours really have to do is make sure the documentation between the customer and us gets into the system and they can't even do that.
 
My experience as well. I work with a number of PMs and all they do is complain about the people around them and never take accountability. Shit all ours really have to do is make sure the documentation between the customer and us gets into the system and they can't even do that.
Yeah, as a director I ended up heavily editing the documentation anyway. It was mostly the higher-ups who wanted a PM. They were probablys relatives or in-laws. I canned them anyway as they were too exspensive and actually hindered productivity.
 
I wish I could help you but my experience with Salesforce is limited.

You should leverage their sales and support.
 
Sadly, it is.

I expected some genuine help like you see here and there from AT. We just got bunch of engineers of AT talking about PMs.

I'm a sad panda.
Help is one thing but it appears you want someone to do it for you. IMO it appears you told someone higher up that you could do the task at hand without the ability to do the task. Salesforce is not something to take on lightly.
 
Yeah, as a director I ended up heavily editing the documentation anyway. It was mostly the higher-ups who wanted a PM. They were probablys relatives or in-laws. I canned them anyway as they were too exspensive and actually hindered productivity.

Blamestorming is the one area where PMs are experts typically. 😀
 
Help is one thing but it appears you want someone to do it for you. IMO it appears you told someone higher up that you could do the task at hand without the ability to do the task. Salesforce is not something to take on lightly.

Claiming to be able to do something, and then scrambling to figure out how to do it when somebody actually needs you to deliver, is encouraged and rewarded. "Can-do attitude, takes charge of a situation and shows initiative."

If you're smart, can leverage the resources available to you, put in a couple of 80-hour weeks, and learn fast, you can pull it off. "Get away with it" if you prefer. It's a gamble. Sometimes gambles pay off.

If you're honest and tell people, "No, I can't do that, and would need six weeks of training at minimum to do a credible job. Talk to ____." you just end up pigeonholed, written off by management as somebody who doesn't have any drive or who avoids responsibility and passes the buck.

See you at the Workforce center after the next round of layoffs, my honest friend.
 
Ug, I hate PMs. They know nothing and dictate what people who do know how to do things. PMs should always be on ritilin. Hell, I fired several just because my team kept complaining. The best PMs are the engineers and techs. All you need is a good director who wants to work and then you can eliminate all PMs.

this on all counts. all we gripe about at work is how our dir doesn't do crap. it sucks when we you see dir in other departments working as hard as their underlings
 
back in the days ATOT would actually gather together to help a member instead of berating and belittling. This forum has gone downhill.

OP, wish I could help, but I know nothing about it
 
back in the days ATOT would actually gather together to help a member instead of berating and belittling. This forum has gone downhill.

OP, wish I could help, but I know nothing about it

eh, I think it depends on who's making the thread. From Zeze's posts throughout OT, he comes off as a bit smug imo. Perhaps that's why he's getting those responses.
 
I'm a pro at Salesforce, and how to use it effectively... even SalesForce customer support doesn't know or tell you how to do it = they just want you to spend your points or juice you for money... Overall SalesForce is effective...

But I charge a killing for this knowledge and not going to give it for free over the internet = How am I going to generate revenue for my consulting services... I hate dingleberry PMs too... after researching the company I always go straight for the PMs 😛
 
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