I need $1,000,000.00 in 30 days......No, seriously...

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djnsmith7

Platinum Member
Apr 13, 2004
2,612
1
0
Thoughts and prayers are with Tami and her family & friends. This is terrible news, but it's great that she had friends like you pulling for her.

May she find peace and her transition be a positive one.
 

JoLLyRoGer

Diamond Member
Aug 24, 2000
4,154
4
81
Well,... its over. She passed roughly 2 hours ago. I sure know my wife and I will miss her. The world could use more like her.

@brian. No, never got the 1 mil. Never even came close but it became more or less a moot point early on. I sure would have liked to have had that to give to her kids though.

Dammit. Fuck this disease. She was 37 and fuckin shitbag tweakers will live forever. Nothing fair about it.

RIP Tami, you will be remembered...
 

dr150

Diamond Member
Sep 18, 2003
6,571
24
81
Well,... its over. She passed roughly 2 hours ago. I sure know my wife and I will miss her. The world could use more like her.

@brian. No, never got the 1 mil. Never even came close but it became more or less a moot point early on. I sure would have liked to have had that to give to her kids though.

Dammit. Fuck this disease. She was 37 and fuckin shitbag tweakers will live forever. Nothing fair about it.

RIP Tami, you will be remembered...

My condolences.

Are you going to give the money you received for cancer research?....
 

JoLLyRoGer

Diamond Member
Aug 24, 2000
4,154
4
81
The family has already received and will continue to receive any and all donations made. My wife and I only setup the donation site but it deposits directly into Tom's (Tami's husband) account. It always has from the very beginning....
 
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JoLLyRoGer

Diamond Member
Aug 24, 2000
4,154
4
81
One small favor I would like to put out there... Tom has reached out to my wife and I to help him with the funeral arrangements. The poor guy is a broken man right now and just needs someone to help put it all together and make it a nice ceremony to celebrate Tami's life... I've never even had to think about doing anything like this before and I have no idea whatsoever how to even begin.

Tami's body is to be cremated and her ashes spread into the Pacific. No one in my family has ever been cremated before so I don't know if there is any specific type ceremony for that or how it's supposed to work. Ultimately it will be up to Tom and Tami's immediate family to determine the place and time but what are some ideas I could pass along?

Just shooting from the hip I imagine there to be a visitation/wake ceremony before she is cremated? I don't know if that's typical or not in this situation. Are these type funerals held indoors like a typical funeral at a church or more like an outdoor gathering where we all bid farewell and her ashes are spread - or maybe that's a more private thing just for Tom and her daughters? I guess there should be an opportunity for people to speak and remember Tami and a reception afterward? How do you go about getting all the right parts in place?
 

alkemyst

No Lifer
Feb 13, 2001
83,967
19
81
One small favor I would like to put out there... Tom has reached out to my wife and I to help him with the funeral arrangements. The poor guy is a broken man right now and just needs someone to help put it all together and make it a nice ceremony to celebrate Tami's life... I've never even had to think about doing anything like this before and I have no idea whatsoever how to even begin.

Tami's body is to be cremated and her ashes spread into the Pacific. No one in my family has ever been cremated before so I don't know if there is any specific type ceremony for that or how it's supposed to work. Ultimately it will be up to Tom and Tami's immediate family to determine the place and time but what are some ideas I could pass along?

Just shooting from the hip I imagine there to be a visitation/wake ceremony before she is cremated? I don't know if that's typical or not in this situation. Are these type funerals held indoors like a typical funeral at a church or more like an outdoor gathering where we all bid farewell and her ashes are spread - or maybe that's a more private thing just for Tom and her daughters? I guess there should be an opportunity for people to speak and remember Tami and a reception afterward? How do you go about getting all the right parts in place?

You can do any type of ceremony really.

You can rent a coffin or buy a cremation-friendly one and have a viewing, this is common in the USA.

She can be cremated and the ashes put in any type of urn desired...they range from very low cost to very very expensive if precious metals and jewelled.

Usually the crematorium will have a list of options including viewing arrangements and can go over the details with you.
 

MonKENy

Platinum Member
Nov 1, 2007
2,026
3
81
my mom was cremated. We did a small service at a church and that was it. No body or anything. I didnt get an urn they just put the remains in a cardboard box. Just an fyi its about 7-10lbs of ashes once its all said and done. Also its illegal to spread ashes in the US. If you do spread ashes just take a small amount as theres no way you can dump 7-10lbs of ash anyway w/out making a huge mess.

For something like this I say go as cheap as possible. Do a pauper cremation, no reason to do a big service since there isnt any body, no reason to buy a decrotive expensive urn as you want to spread the ashes.

If you guys have the room at a house just do a small service and have everyone meet at a house. Dont do the same depressing funeral type stuff. Have a kick ass party. Celebrate her life dont mourn her death.
 

dr150

Diamond Member
Sep 18, 2003
6,571
24
81
...
Tami's body is to be cremated and her ashes spread into the Pacific. No one in my family has ever been cremated before so I don't know if there is any specific type ceremony for that or how it's supposed to work. Ultimately it will be up to Tom and Tami's immediate family to determine the place and time but what are some ideas I could pass along?....

There's so MANY options that Cremation services offer. They'll make any arrangements you want.

When we cremated my father, it was a private family affair. They got the body out of a cold locker (in cardboard box, pillow on head, draped to neck), we paid our final respects and they put the body in the furnace. This is an unusual request. Maybe too macabre for some, but we insisted, so it was done. Later that week we had an outdoors dinner in my mom's scenic yard with close family and friends (speeches, etc). Ashes were then taken to the river for final rights only with a close group on a different day.

If you're religious, you can follow a different protocol. It's up to the family to decide what's best and what works. The Cremation service will facilitate any need. Of course, the more needs, the more money so take that into account. It's still vastly cheaper than burying the body in a cemetary, fwiw....

For something like this I say go as cheap as possible. Do a pauper cremation, no reason to do a big service since there isnt any body, no reason to buy a decrotive expensive urn as you want to spread the ashes.

Agreed. We thought the same way.
 
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Apr 17, 2003
37,622
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One small favor I would like to put out there... Tom has reached out to my wife and I to help him with the funeral arrangements. The poor guy is a broken man right now and just needs someone to help put it all together and make it a nice ceremony to celebrate Tami's life... I've never even had to think about doing anything like this before and I have no idea whatsoever how to even begin.

Tami's body is to be cremated and her ashes spread into the Pacific. No one in my family has ever been cremated before so I don't know if there is any specific type ceremony for that or how it's supposed to work. Ultimately it will be up to Tom and Tami's immediate family to determine the place and time but what are some ideas I could pass along?

Just shooting from the hip I imagine there to be a visitation/wake ceremony before she is cremated? I don't know if that's typical or not in this situation. Are these type funerals held indoors like a typical funeral at a church or more like an outdoor gathering where we all bid farewell and her ashes are spread - or maybe that's a more private thing just for Tom and her daughters? I guess there should be an opportunity for people to speak and remember Tami and a reception afterward? How do you go about getting all the right parts in place?

Jolly, sorry for your loss.

Two of my friends were cremated (twins) when they died in a car accident. The ceremony was held at the cemetery overlooking the Pacific. The plan was to spread the ashes but the family bought a marker instead and buried the ashes. I would imagine the funeral home will accommodate just about any type of service the family desires (whether it be a wake before cremation or just a ceremony after the cremation).
 

AlienCraft

Lifer
Nov 23, 2002
10,539
0
0
Wow, Sorry for your loss JoLLyRoGer. Isaw this thread was bumped up and knew it wasn't going to be good news.
 

redgtxdi

Diamond Member
Jun 23, 2004
5,463
8
81
2nd case of fatal cancer I've heard TODAY!!! (the other is hours from death herself as she now can't eat or drink.). Horrible. =(

While neither are close to me, it is an IN YOUR FACE reminder of my own mortality. I've always said I feel like cancer is chasing us all anymore. I hate the disease with the intensity of a thousand suns yet it still prospers.

My sincerest condolences!
 

iGas

Diamond Member
Feb 7, 2009
6,240
1
0
Best of luck to OP's wife's friend. People face medical challenges in different ways. That is what makes us all human.
Here is an article written from a doctor's perspective on "how doctors die."
http://zocalopublicsquare.org/thepublicsquare/2011/11/30/how-doctors-die/read/nexus/
That is exactly how my brother in-law dad died after he was diagnose with cancer (he was 1 of the best general surgeon and was the leading/founder of limb reattachment surgeon in Canada, with concentration on hands & nerves, as well as neonatal surgery. And, his daughter is one of the best radiologists in Canada).

PS. The 4 year old grand daughter of my co-worker was diagnostic with stage 4 cancer 2 weeks ago.

heart-comments-9.gif


My deepest condolence to you and your friend family.
 
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GWestphal

Golden Member
Jul 22, 2009
1,120
0
76
Colon, lungs, liver, uterus, and pelvic bones...the chance of recovery isn't zero, but you're more likely to win three different lotteries on the same day with only one ticket.

Edit: :(