I like telling jokes about elevators

[Red Squirrel]

They work on so many levels!

 

[VirtualLarry]

Do they get you High?

 

[VirtualLarry]

Do they open doors for you?

 

[Ken g6]

Or are you just using them to get a rise out of people?

 

[Ken g6]

Some elevator jokes are the lowest form of humor, but most rise above that.

 

[highland145]

What do elevators and a good woman have in common?

 

[Perknose]

What do elevators and a good woman have in common?

You can push their buttons all you want, but they'll still take you where you want to go?

 

[dasherHampton]

Yeah, I agree.

Those jokes are uplifting.

 

[JTsyo]

Alright here's a riddle instead:

A man lives on the 25 floor of an apartment. On rainy days he takes the elevator all the way to the 25 floor. On sunny days he goes up on the elevator 10 floors and then takes the stairs the rest of the way up. Why does he only take the stairs when it's sunny?

 

[Perknose]

Alright here's a riddle instead:

This riddle is begging for a short answer. It's certainly no tall tale.

 

[purbeast0]

Alright here's a riddle instead:

Googled the answer - dumb riddle is dumb.

 

[BoomerD]

I find that a good elevator joke can really lift me up when I'm down.

 

[BudAshes]

Alright here's a riddle instead:

Because he god damn well feels like it.

 

[Perknose]

Elevators are touchy. They're always getting their buttons pushed.

 

[IBMJunkman]

 

[destrekor]

Googled the answer - dumb riddle is dumb.

And that version of the riddle sucks without including the part about going up all the way in the elevator if there are other people in it or on rainy days. It could be sunny but people in the elevator means he'll ride all the way up.

 

[JEDIYoda]

Two men in an elevator...

Two men in an elevator.

One says to the other, sniffing: "excuse me, did you pass wind?"

The other answers, sounding hurt and offended: "of course I did! Do you think I always stink like this?"

 

[iCyborg]

An elevator with a programmer inside stops at a floor. The person outside asks "Is this elevator going up or down". Programmer says "Yes".

 

[JEDIYoda]

I rode the elevator to the eleventh floor, and as I got out, the operator said "Have a good day, son"

"Don't call me son," I said. "You're not my dad."

He scratched his head. "No, but I brought you up, didn't I?"

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An Amish boy and his father are visiting a nearby mall. They are amazed by almost everything they see, but especially by two shiny silver walls that move apart and back together again by themselves.

The lad asks, “What is this, father?”



The father, having never seen an elevator, responds, “I have no idea what it is.”



While the boy and his father are watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheelchair rolls up to the moving walls and presses a button. The walls open and the lady rolls between them into a small room. The walls close and the boy and his father watch as small circles light up above the walls. The walls open up again and a beautiful twenty-four-year-old woman steps out. The father looks at his son excitedly and says, “Go get your mother.”

 

[nakedfrog]

Elevators are touchy. They're always getting their buttons pushed.

They definitely got the shaft.

 

[nakedfrog]

I rode the elevator to the eleventh floor, and as I got out, the operator said "Have a good day, son"

"Don't call me son," I said. "You're not my dad."

He scratched his head. "No, but I brought you up, didn't I?"

How old are you?

 

[Captante]

Some elevator jokes are the lowest form of humor, but most rise above that.

Many however still end up in the basement!

 

[JEDIYoda]

How old are you?

Jesus Loves you!!

 

[nakedfrog]

Jesus Loves you!!

That doesn't tell me how old you are to have ridden in an elevator that still has an operator

 

[sdifox]

When did Timmins get an elevator?