I @%@*ing hate my dad!

[AmazonRasta]

<< I @%@*ing hate my dad! >>




<< My dad is NEVER happy with ANYTHING. >>




<< almost EVERY interaction with my father is like this...... >>



I know EXACTLY how you feel man. My father is the same way, and I hate him for it. It's nice to see you moving out though; I wish I could afford to.

 

[Mister T]

my advice: pick your battles.

garabe disposal is not one you want to pick

 

[ViperXX]

notfred,
Living with your parents is hard. I know when I lived with my parents me and my dad would argue and not get along to well. When I moved out and got married things changed. I depend on my dad for alot of things and he depends on me for things. I don't know what I would do without him. You'll see what I mean as you grow older.

 

[CraigRT]

<< if thats the only thing you "hate" him for then you're pretty retarded. >>



duh! he specifically said every interaction was like this...... I don't think ANYONE read the post.. read it before you post it!

 

[SaltBoy]

Sometime, sooner or later, you're going to have to sit down with him and have a "Man to Man" talk. Get everything out in the open, and then resolve your differences. If you don't do this (i.e. he suddenly passes away before it happens) you'll regret it for the rest of your life. Take care of it now. Take care of it NOW. It's tough to start, but the rewards are well worth it.

I was once in your own situation. But now, from my own experiences, I can say it's made a huge difference in my life.

 

[shifrbv]

Notfred - Just remember when you get all stressed "this too shall pass". And it will. Do what they ask of you then get out as soon as you can. Once you make your own way, you can come back and actually enjoy a visit once in awhile with him.

 

[IJump]

Look at it this way too, the tougher your dad (or any parent for that matter) is on you, the easier it is when you get away.

 

[notfred]

Ok, I don't hate my father, but he is EXTREMELY difficult to live with. This is not just my sentiment - my mother agrees with it, and so does my brother. People who come over and visit start to notice the wierd stuff my dad does within the first hour.

He's very quick to anger (seriously, who would dtart an argument over the trash being taken out). If everything isn't done EXACTLY his way, it's done wrong, and the you're an idiot/moron/asshole/whatever for doing it that way (no, he doesn't hesitate to call us those things). He's not normally violent, but he has knocked my brother on the groud a couple times.

Even when we do have something in common to talk about, it's hardly pleasant. Last night, before the garbage thing, he mentioned something that he was reading about DVD decryption. I wanted to how him the whole prime number -> DeCSS source code thing. This ended being over an hour of him saying "well that's not possible, no prime number will generate source code, someone carefully engineered that" and then I'd agree with him, and he'dbasically say the same thing over again. It's not like he was angry, but I only need to hear the same thing so many times in an hour.

Also, my dad's conversation habits are really annoying. He's obsessed with these conspiracy theories about the new world order, and the trilateral commiosion, and jews controllin the media, etc. He'll start in on one of these discussions (read - lectures) without being asked anything about it, and easily go for an hour or more. If you say you have something else to do he gets offended. If you say you really dont care, he gets REALLY offended. If you say you disagree, it turns into an argument immediately that's guaranteed to last at least twice as long as just lsitening through the lecture. I've heard all these things from him a million times before, and no one in my family ever cared, yet he continues to waste hours and hours of time with them

Those are jsut some of his annoying habits. I know you can say every person has thier flaws, and yes, they do. But my dad is NOT easy to get along with.

 

[Sir Fredrick]

Notfred, this is Fred, and I feel for you man. My father was the same way, the only things he ever had to say about me were critical. He seemed convinced that I would never amount to anything and that I was extremely lazy.

Well, after 2 years of not being in the same house with him, and after he read a book that sort of made him realize that he's never had a real realtionship with me, and after I made it out in the real world on my own with a better job than he ever had in the first 30 years of his life (I'm 20), he actually apologized for being that way and is trying to change. Doesn't help me a whole lot since I don't live with him anymore, but things are certainly better for my siblings at home.

Anyway, I hope that eventually your dad will realize that he's being an ass and ruining his chances of having a meaningful relationship with you before it's too late.

 

[IndyJaws]

<< If everything isn't done EXACTLY his way, it's done wrong, and the you're an idiot/moron/asshole/whatever for doing it that way (no, he doesn't hesitate to call us those things). He's not normally violent, but he has knocked my brother on the groud a couple times. >>



I was kinda thinking notfred was blowing this out of proportion, but then I read that part. Name calling (idiot/moron/asshole) and "knocking down" is going way too far. Rat bastard needs an M80 shoved in his ass. :|

 

[yoda291]

<< Notfred, this is Fred, and I feel for you man. My father was the same way, the only things he ever had to say about me were critical. He seemed convinced that I would never amount to anything and that I was extremely lazy.

Well, after 2 years of not being in the same house with him, and after he read a book that sort of made him realize that he's never had a real realtionship with me, and after I made it out in the real world on my own with a better job than he ever had in the first 30 years of his life (I'm 20), he actually apologized for being that way and is trying to change. Doesn't help me a whole lot since I don't live with him anymore, but things are certainly better for my siblings at home.

Anyway, I hope that eventually your dad will realize that he's being an ass and ruining his chances of having a meaningful relationship with you before it's too late. >>



wow, I kinda have this situation backwards. I always thought they cared about the things I did. But I've been told, in no vague terms, that I'm the retirement fund for them and my sister is the only important child in the house. I really hope they don't mean it.

 

[stockjock]

I think what we see here notfred is that you , despite your father's shortcoming, have managed to be your own person. I think you understand that you have to respect your father, but don't necessarily have to follow his views and thinkings. I know that when I was your age I remember not talking to my father, even resorting to leaving him notes in the mailbox to express my thoughts on things....and you know what, to this day I still don't know why he and I had such a fallout then. BUT, now...22 years later my father and I are close. Come to think of it, we started getting closer after I moved out. I guess I'm trying to pass on my wisdom that this is probably normal and things between you and your father will work themselves out in time...Just remember, that he is your only father you will ever have...treat him with respect and in the long run you will be the bigger man!

 

[jemcam]

You didn't mention your age, but I can read into it that you're probably in your late teens or so.

I too "hated" my Dad when I was your age, but to make matters worse, I had to work for him for "free" at his automobile repair shop. I didn't complain because I liked hanging out at the shop, and I learned a lot from watching the mechanics and bodymen work and asked a lot of questions. I worked everyday after school during jr. high, highschool, and whenever I was home from college. Although I didn't get paid, I really didn't care too much because I was getting a car, insurance, and gas, plus money for dates ($20 or so) when I needed it. A couple of times I thought I could do better by getting another job, and did, but Dad always made me pay for the car, gas, insurance and no money for dates. I was frickin' broke and went back to working for him everytime.

My point is, I had a good thing going and I hated him because 1.) I was a teenager, and they naturally hate their parents. 2.) He was my boss. 3.) He was really stingy with money. So, I too hated my Dad.

Funny thing happened though. When I was at college, I realized how much I had learned at the shop and began fixing friend's cars for extra money. Also, I realized that I was pretty damn lucky to have a car. Plus, I had picked up a lot of valuable information and insight into what it takes to run your own business. Not to mention all the free lessons I got in repairing just about anything with or without wheels. Something I use in working on computers today. The techniques for diagnosing a problem are the same no matter what you're working on.

Then, something even funnier began happening in my early 20's. It dawned on me that Dad had been through almost everything I was going through, and he had some pretty good advice. I began asking him more and more. The older I got, the more I realized how wise and valuable he was to me.

Then, he died in 1995 at the age of 58 of cancer. I was 35 years old. I can't tell you how hard it was for the longest time to NOT be able to pick up the phone and talk to my Dad.

Work through it, and don't burn any bridges, someday, you'll realize just how valuable he is to you.

Trust me on this one.

Jemcam

 

[jemcam]

bump. All teens should read this....

 

[Sir Fredrick]

What my father considered to be lazy is exactly what got me where I am today - rather than getting a lousy job at 16 to earn money which I had virtually no use for (I was making money on the side fixing computers for people), I would spend lots of time reading and messing around with the computer, teaching myself about them.

He didn't teach me anything, except maybe how to pick out a good bicycle, because he has always been really into biking. He didn't even teach me how to shave, a traditional father-son only activity. I asked a friend to teach me because I didn't want to have to ask my dad to teach me, and then deal with being yelled at if I didn't do it right.

I worked for him for minimum wage at the shop, but didn't learn much from it since he never really taught me how to do anything more than the absolute basics. My parents didn't pay for my insurance, my car, or give me date money, but they did pay for my food and they put a roof over my head, but I was not especially greatful for this because I feel that it's a parent's obligation to take care of their kids and give them a good home until they are old enough to be able to support themselves completely.

Yeah, I could have been worse off, my father could have beat me (we only got into one physical fight), I could have not had a father, I could have been living on the street, but that doesn't mean I have no right to complain. I still didn't have a normal loving relationship with my father and I do resent that. I'm trying to forgive him though since he has seen the error in his ways.

 

[jemcam]

My father was not above physical violence if the situation called for it. Sometimes, it was uncalled for in my opinion, but he obviously did. Even though my father beat the crap out of us kids at times, I still loved him later on, and I miss him today. I hated his guts at the time. I was in to the usual stuff kids are today, wanting to stay out late, get drunk, and even do some drugs now and then. In all fairness, I deserved an ass whuppin, and it taught me a lesson.

However, as a father today, he taught me even more about how NOT to be a father.

 

[NikPreviousAcct]

<< I @%@*ing hate my dad! >>

Join the club.

Nik

 

[ultimatebob]

<< my advice: pick your battles.

garabe disposal is not one you want to pick >>



It sounds like his Dad picked this stupid fight for him. As someone who had a control-freak parent, I feel your pain. Anyway, I'd give him some time to cool off, and try to have a thought-out and calm discussion about this later.

And, hey, if really is that much of a jerk... just remember that you only need to put up with him for another six weeks. Who knows, he might to happy to see you after you're been gone for a month or two.

 

[Alienwho]

Man I sure am lucky to have a cool dad. He does everything he can for me to help me excell. He saw that I had an interest in computers, he got me a computer. He saw I had an interest in motorcycles, and he loved that because he had a motorcycle when he was a kid and thought was great. It's really cool racing your dad on offroad motorcycle trails. And all his investments are paying for themselves, because of my computer hobby I won some awards at school and am at the top of my class and am getting a scholarship for school.

 

[Sir Fredrick]

<< My father was not above physical violence if the situation called for it. Sometimes, it was uncalled for in my opinion, but he obviously did. Even though my father beat the crap out of us kids at times, I still loved him later on, and I miss him today. I hated his guts at the time. I was in to the usual stuff kids are today, wanting to stay out late, get drunk, and even do some drugs now and then. In all fairness, I deserved an ass whuppin, and it taught me a lesson.

However, as a father today, he taught me even more about how NOT to be a father. >>



I was a good kid in those respects, my parents always knew where I was, and I never touched drugs or alcohol.

I'm glad you learned from your father's mistakes though; my father just did exactly what his did.

 

[trulfe]

is your dad fred?

 

[amdskip]

my dad is the same way most of the time

 

[Sir Fredrick]

amdskip, this is somewhat unrelated, but if you were my kid and you made that website, I'd have to kick your ass. j/k, but it could use some work.

 

[yoda291]

dammit skip, now I'm gonna have to put the hurt on you for that damn site. A) It made my eyes hurt b), it made me go up to the view menu to see the source code to make sure you didn't use frontpage. Ah, my eyes hurt. Well, I'll forgive you this time...but next time...

excuse me, I have to flush my eyes out and whatever cookies you might have given me.

PS - joking, tho my eyes are spinning cuz of the twirlies.

 

[hollowman]

you still hate him?? wat's up with you???