Hey, I was pretty concerned about your welfare, Booster! :Q I almost bumped your old thread to ask if the 'net chick was really a monster who hurt you. Good to see you again, Booster.
Booster, no, you have it all wrong. You've got major issues. The internet lady saw it in you, which is why she ran away fast. The Self is suffering and hasn't identified itself. I remember your thread about what sounded like "depression". You were asking how you could feel accepted and make friends (something like that), so you wouldn't be so lonely. I also remember you saying over and over that you didn't want women. Now read your original post. The tone is so different, except one element remains. The remaining element and common denominator is you and your esteem. You seem to lack in esteem. You haven't found yourself, so you hardly know what you really want. You think women or something else would fulfill your life, then you get a chance but panic because you're so unsure of yourself. You're so convinced that you cannot achieve anything. It's up to you, Booster. Take a break for at least 6 months. Try to socialise. I don't mean the bar scene. I mean simple relationships would help you. Don't do something silly like trying to meet someone from the 'net when your problem is having too little human contact to interact. I still wonder what your relationship is like with your family. I have to wonder if you have a relationship with your family members. It is hard for me to believe that if you did, you would have this major insecurity and issue on very basic things, such as relating with people.
Hope you can find yourself help, Booster.
By the way, impressive to learn that you were not disappointed in your date's appearance. Was she exactly as she described herself? Do you have a picture to share of you, Booster?
