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I Feel Left Out...

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And just like weed or X, sex is one of those things where the ones who are doing it feel better when everyone else around them is doing it too.

I like that quote from the post above about living up to your own expectations. There is so much peer pressure in college and what I found interesting, looking back at it, is that the peer pressure tended to focus on "negative" things.

- Don't study, go to the bar with us.
- You have time to finish that later, let's play cards
- Try this weed, it's really good
- I had the greatest time on X, you ought to try it.
Blah, blah, blah.

Everyone talks about the "fun" part of these things, but no one ever talks about the negatives.
 


<< For all you people giving her props, her post comes down to this.
She is either complaining, or bragging in a indirect way. >>



I thought it was pretty obvious that I'm complaining. Geeze...some people aren't too quick early in the morning.

--Sarah
 
i just wanted to add one more point...

when you do decide...
(and you will one day)

make sure it is your decision... and not your friends.
make sure it is your decision... and not viperGTS's (sorry V. )

as a newlywed (just got married in december)...
i can tell you that sex is a wonderful thing.

there's really nothing quite like it.

i've heard people making comparisons between sex and sky-diving.
some do say that sky-diving... and that sensation of freefall is much more pleasurable than sex.

well... that may be the case... ( seeing that i've never jumped out of an airplane)
but ... i'd still say that there's still nothing quite like sex.
'cause it involves two people sharing something very private and intimate.

so going back to my point...
make sure it is your decision/choice
and not others... in the end it'll be worth it. 😉
 
I'm 25 and still a virgin. It doesn't really bother me, I've had my share of fun, just never a steady girl I wanted to go all the way with. And before anyone assumes anything, I'm not fugly, I don't smell bad, and I'm probably less weird than most of the folks that hang out here.

Oh, and I'm not gay either.
 


<< And just like weed or X, sex is one of those things where the ones who are doing it feel better when everyone else around them is doing it too. >>


Oh please. I don't have sex because its cool, or everyone else is doing it. That is such a load of crap.
 
Well, you're not alone and that's for sure. Remember that a lot of people exaggerate and lie when it comes to sex. Reminds me of a part in American Pie 2...when a guy says he's had sex 3 times it's actually 0 or 1 times hehe..😛

If prengancy is your only worry and there's no other reasons, the protection out there is good and there's tons of precautions you can take to prevent that. But if your reasons are otherwise I'd stick with it! 🙂

Part of me wishes I had waited til marriage, but I still don't regret it one single bit.
 
<<It just sucks to think that everyone's having a good old time and the rest of us just sit here and...wait. >>

At the risk of sounding like Moonbeam, having a good time or not is largely a matter of perception. Think you are having a good time and you are. Think you are having a bad time and you are. To quote Cat Stevens, "If you want to say yes, say yes. If you want to say no, say no. 'Cause there's a million ways to go, you know that there are." I suppose that's just another way of saying what Russ has already said. There are as many paths through life as there are people who have ever lived. If your path doesn't match someone else's path, why should you care? Besides, it's too nice of a day around Pittsburgh to let yourself be bothered by something like this. Take a book and go outside, enjoy the blue sky and the spring birds that are returning a little early. 🙂

ZV

EDIT: Oh, and Russ, if you happen in here again and catch this post, can I get permission to use your quote about living to one's own expectations as my new sig?
 


<< I thought it was pretty obvious that I'm complaining. Geeze...some people aren't too quick early in the morning. >>


Right, you prove my point perfectly. If you are complaining, why are people giving you props for holding out from sex.
You are complaining about it, and they are congratulating you.

Some people aren't too quick in the morning, or afternoon.

 
I never understand why people wish to publicize details like this to an unknown community. The anonymity of online forums is nice, but the idea of my sex life being captured in HTML glory for time immemorial for 80,000 people to see sort of makes me cringe...

I agree with the majority of the poster to the extent that it's worth waiting for yourself to feel ready, and for the right person to come along. That said, I also think it's not the most enormous deal in the world - and as nobody else seems to want to say, you're probably unnecessarily causing yourself mental anguish by trying to stick to a LD relationship. At our age I've never, ever seen it work out (out of six cases). There's always some bitterness that ruins it - right now we want to be held and touched and ***ked too much, no matter how mature and controlled you feel you are.

In short, perhaps it's time to drop a few barriers and weights and see what is out there.
 
TheBlondOne, you do it if you feel ready. Not because of peer pressure. If you have not had sex yet because you did not feel ready, then congrats! 🙂 At least you are living up to your expectations! 😉
 
Well, in that case, inner strength to you! You will not regret your decision to stay clean later. It's not really possible to regret a good decision.
 


<< Why am I still a virgin? Because I have huge plans for my life and don't want pregnancy to ruin them. I want to be pregnant when I'm READY to be pregnant. Other reasons do not necessarily include religion, but the fact that I've waited 21 years so far does make me think, "Heck, a few more years won't hurt." >>



Okay, for starters, unless you have a particular reason for not using birth control, not wanting to get pregnant is really a fairly minor consideration. Obviously nothing short of having your tubes tied will assure you of 100% effectiveness, but going on the pill (as you are in a monogomous relationship and I would assume not concerned with STD's) is about as effective as you can get. I don't want this to be a debate/flame war about birth control, so I'll leave it at that. Talk to your GYN if you want more info, as we the geeks aren't really qualified to weigh in on that one.🙂




<< No, this is not a "should I have sex with Viper?" thread. It's just me complaining that it feels like everyone's having sex and I'm not (as a few of you aren't either, it seems). It just sucks to think that everyone's having a good old time and the rest of us just sit here and...wait. But I know it's my decision, so it's not anyone's fault but my own >>



Um, okay. First off: sex is not the end-all be-all. It can be a really amazing thing, or it can be an awkward disaster, but it is not ever nirvana (tho it tends to be played up as such). My first experience was in high school with a very serious girlfriend (3 years dating and still friends 10+ years later) and I have no regrets whatsoever. I of course then had the typical college experiences both good and bad, and am now happily monogamous (married 5 yrs this fall). The point is: do what YOU want to do....sex is a very personal thing and should be always undertaken on your own terms. If you don't feel ready...don't have sex. If you're ready....have (safe) sex. Just always remain cogniscent of why you are or are not having sex.....abstinence for its own sake isn't any better than sex because you feel left out.

Hope that kinda made sense.

Fausto
 
Walking in the Seattle snow, I see a young bud awaiting spring. Top green with anticipation, yelling at the top of its lungs, knowing well that its time is near. I walk along, slush, slush, slush say my shoes. Karu-na, Karu-na a bird yells at me. I smile. Gently swaying in the wind trees rock with the motion of life while cold winds sting my bare skin. A horn sounds, Karun-na. I walk slowly, the bud following my moves, and start chopping wood for the fireplace.


Cheers ! 🙂
 


<< Walking in the Seattle snow, I see a young bud awaiting spring. Top green with anticipation, yelling at the top of its lungs, knowing well that its time is near. I walk along, slush, slush, slush say my shoes. Karu-na, Karu-na a bird yells at me. I smile. Gently swaying in the wind trees rock with the motion of life while cold winds sting my bare skin. A horn sounds, Karun-na. I walk slowly, the bud following my moves, and start chopping wood for the fireplace.

Cheers ! 🙂 >>



Huh 😕?
 
wow... osully...

are you saying that theblondone should drop viperGTS and look for a relationship a bit closer?
i understand that you weren't directing the comment to me... but as a person who just got married out of
a long distance relationship, i'd say that your statement is one that is out of line.

sure LD's are difficult. it requires extra care and love, but who are we to say that our Mr & Ms Right lives
within reasonable distance from us?

i think it's ironic that you say "... and see what is out there. " out there where?
 
hoihtah,

It looks like Moonbeam hacked Linuxboy's account. Either that, or he's saying that everyone experiences these feelings and to relax and not worry about it.

Russ, NCNE
 


<< Everyone talks about the "fun" part of these things, but no one ever talks about the negatives. >>



There is a negative to having sex??

Oh, and like Fausto said, pregnancy is a pretty minor occurence with a little forethought.

Another thing, only you can decide when you are ready. 😉


amish
 


<< wow... osully...

are you saying that theblondone should drop viperGTS and look for a relationship a bit closer?
i understand that you weren't directing the comment to me... but as a person who just got married out of
a long distance relationship, i'd say that your statement is one that is out of line.

sure LD's are difficult. it requires extra care and love, but who are we to say that our Mr & Ms Right lives
within reasonable distance from us?

i think it's ironic that you say "... and see what is out there. " out there where? >>

Out of line? If I had said it out of the blue, perhaps, but then again this is a thread about her virginity. Unless the poster in question would like to go have sex a dozen times in a weekend and then come back to college for X months of abstinence again, is this really an option? Instead of what I think of as "real" advice, TheBlondeOne has a wealth of health advice and people saying Hail Marys for abstinence. I'm either her age or a year older and understand better than you think - just wanted to give my version of the honest truth.

Yes, you got married out of a long distance relationship. Is your example really relevant to a twenty year old? I'd like to hear the details of your LD relationship though - how old were you two when you met, and how old are you now? How often did you see each other? Was it an online meeting? Seriously, do you see the disparities in situations here?
 


<<

<<

<<

<< How can girls have trouble finding sex???
Just smile and the guys will follow! >>



Finding it isn't the problem, you dolt, she has simply chosen abstinence thus far.

Viper GTS >>



So why complain about it in public? 😎 >>



Just because one chooses something willingly does not make it easy, nor does it make it pleasant. All of us have sex drives, & the closer you get to someone (both physically and emotionally) the harder it gets to maintain what you believe to be right.

Viper GTS >>



Sounds like something between her and her BF to me. It's still a choice, not a lack of it. Nothing to complain to the world about.

Sorry for sounding like an a-hole.
😎
 
wow... osully.

just out of curiosity...
how old do you think i am? i understand that you are clueless as to how old i am...
seeing that you asked me what my age was.

however....
'Is your example really relevant to a twenty year old?"
that question as well as your other comment...
"I'm either her age or a year older and understand better than you think"
... makes me believe that you think of me much older than what i am.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

you seem to imply that people are steering off from the whole issue of LD.
"and as nobody else seems to want to say, you're probably unnecessarily causing yourself mental anguish by trying to stick to a LD relationship. "

you have assumed that people don't "want to say"...
that may be very well true... for the reason being that this thread is not about their LD issue.

i have promptly pointed out that you are out of line for this very reason.

you took that and went on to imply that theblondone should drop her LD, 'cause you believe it to be something that never works out.

and i am also pointing out here that you are out of line on this one as well.

case and point : me. i've pointed out already, that LD's are difficult and it requires much attention and care.
but don't be narrowminded to believe that the person that you're suppose to live with for the rest of your life is limited to your home town/city. nor make the mistake of thinking that convenience is the key to a happy relationship.

regardless of distance, relationships take hard effort from both sides. sure LD relationship requires more commitment and care.
if the amount of effort/care is something that one doesn't want to pay up... then so be it. but don't imply this to others who might be putting in that extra effort, 'cause he/she is worth his/her everything.

sure... theblondone is complaining... but you'd have to make many roads bend to lead her complaints to her lack of desires to put in that extra effor/care. if anything, it leads me to believe that she cares enough to complain about her relationship.

i'll end my side of the discussion here. i appologize to others for taking up bandwidth with this non-thread related topic.
 


<< << LOL,I wouldn't want to have to deal with your pm's this morning... >>



Just what she needs, 37 110 lb Asian men volunteering to help her out with her problem.



Viper GTS

>>



thats 4070 pounds of lovin...
 
hoihtah
i'm the same as you in the non-druggie dept. i get left out of occasional get togethers....but my friends know how i feel about drugs, and they respect that decision by not pressuring me or anything like that.

TheBlondeOne
i think most of the sensible people said what i wanted to say. Russ did a good job of it. 🙂


 


<< I'm just so sick of feeling left out of this wonderful world of...sex, I guess. >>



What a crybaby! Please... You have chosen not to have sex. Nobody forced you to make that choice. If you don't like it, find someone and have sex with them. I'm sure it's not that hard to find someone.

If you're not happy with your life or the decisions that have gotten you to the point where you are in life, make a change. You're in control of your future. If you're looking for a pity party, you're definately not going to find it here. If you don't change your mind and have sex, you're just complaining without a cause.

I get sick and tired of hearing people complain, especially when they won't do what it takes to get what they want. They just want people to feel sorry for them, and this is a perfect example of that.
 
Sarah,

I am a 22 yr old virgin. I had several oppourtunites to lose my virginity, but some how I backed out each time. I now know what the problem was, I wanted to fall in love and make love. Slam bang thank u mam, wouldnt have worked for me.

The best advice I can give you is too look upto someone for support. Someone who is a virgin and older than you. Maybe Hzl (25 and a virgin) or someone like me. Ideally you will challenge yourself to a game of trying to see who can hold out the longest. THis strategy has worked for me.

For those days that your frisky, nothing beats mastubation. There is nothing wrong about it. Despite the word being a stigmatic word.

Anyway hope this helps.

Manjul (tgg)

<---- Sick in bed hence cant type not do any frisky stuff 🙁
 
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