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I can't see the point behind getting married nor having kids.

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Originally posted by: Special K
Originally posted by: PimpJuice
Marriage was invented by women as a way to enslave men.

If it were up to men, we'd all be out there pimpin and not putting up with the stupid holdups that women have over things that dont matter or things that we dont give a rats ass about.

Believe that!!
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You make it sound like men have no choice whether or not to get married.😉
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QFT, been a long time since I have seen a woman aska man to marry her!!
 
my 2 cents without read all 300 reply.

You're still young and your view will change when u're high 20s and early 30s. I am 32 and I used to in the same boat but now my opinion is having kid may not be a bad thing. You can filter all the bad thing and teach them all the good.
 
Originally posted by: The Linuxator
Everytime I am invited over to have dinner at my parents house they keep telling me that once I grauduate(which is less than in 2 years now )they would love to see me married and with kids, and I tell them WHY WOULD I WANT TO DO THAT ? And they give me this look "WTH?", I know it sounds wierd but with all honesty I can't find
this joy people get out of having babies and being stuck with another person for the rest of their lives. Things can turn out to be good and that person might become your soul mate, well that's all good, but what if things go bad, and that person becomes your enemy like most of the relationships I see aroud me. Wow children can bring joy to you, but that's not all of the cases that I have seen

I have explained it to my parents over and over, I have no girl in mind I never did and I hope I never will, I am waiting for graduation and then I'll shift things aaround from pushing my self hard to focusing on making myself happy and get all of what i deprived myself from before(I have 18 credit hours each semester and I have hard job but good paying though ) I might also go for a masters degree too. But really I love being alone knowing that I have myself is just more than entertainment for me (yes I love myself that much but I am not selfish ,I do help alot of ppl out too @ college and my neighberhood...family etc)

What's wrong with my logic ? I just want to live, and be alone and my parents don't understand that, I have lots of friends and I am really a normal guy, but it's just as I was growing up I lived for a long period of time on my own and I loved it and loved being responsible for myself.
I would appreciate input from you married guys out there and fathers too, according to what you have read so far and from your own experience why should I get married ?
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there are many ppl who feel the same way you do about this. more power to them. but you don't know what you really are going to be missing. family is really all there is that is important in life. nothing else gives you the satisfactionno enjoyment that your family brings. i used to feel the same way you did so i know where you are coming from. then my mother died, and something in me just opened up. i married my gf of ten years and just about ayear and a half ago we had a baby daughter. now my life could never be better. my only regret is that my mother never got to see the granddaughter she had always wanted. ( she looks ever bit like my mother 🙂 ) a bit long yes but i am giving you both points of view since i was there once.

good luck in your decision which ever one you make.
 
Ya know... If you don't believe in marriage, children, or pre-marital sex, you might as well join the priesthood. If you're going to be a lifelong virgin, you should at least have a good excuse for it!
 
Originally posted by: ultimatebob
Ya know... If you don't believe in marriage, children, or pre-marital sex, you might as well join the priesthood. If you're going to be a lifelong virgin, you should at least have a good excuse for it!
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LMAO, I'd rather getting married fifty times in that case LOL!!!!
 
There's a reason that so many songs are written about love, whether it be true love or jaded. You won't ever understand this until you fall in love with someone, and if you have no desire to do so then you don't need a bunch of people on the internet to tell you otherwise. Many people are jilted lovers and as such will say that marriage never works, women are evil, etc; but a good portion of marriages do succeed--if you are with someone for the right reasons.
 
I think married people with kids are just plain losers. The only reason they go through the whole ordeal is due to societal pressures. They are brainwashed sheep being led to the slaughter. You know how in high school everyone's always saying "if all your friends jumped off a cliff, would you do it too?" Well, this is the same damn thing. All these losers are jumping off a cliff, and they expect the same for thing from you. Misery loves company.

You can live an extremely productive life being single. Case in point: I'm single, 33, have a PhD, make $100/year, and am living every single day to its fullest with a job I absolutely love (researcher at a Fortune-10 company) and fulfilling my hobbies (semi-pro photographer). Not once in my life have I ever had to say to myself "I've got to slow down, make some sacrifices, and give up on some of my dreams." That's what married losers do every day of their pathetic lives.

I may be missing out on some things that married people have. A trustful companion? I have good friends. Financial security? I've got a maxxed out 401k, a house, and lots of savings. A sense of virtue of taking care of others? I do volunteer work -- 600+ hours as a matter of fact. Someone to give your money to? I'm planning to donate my money to charity. I'd rather give to worthy people rather than potentially ungrateful pot-smoking children who just happen to have half my genes. Look up the word "meme" one of these days; those who share your memes are the ones you should be helping out.

All in all, being married = losers. Living your life the way you want to while single = winner.
 
Originally posted by: pm
I've been married 10 years and have two kids, 6 years old and 1 year old.

I love my wife, I love my kids. I like being with them, playing with them, answering the older's questions, teaching the younger one how to talk, reading stories with the older, taking the younger on "boat rides" through the house. If anything I watch them both growing up and wish that I had more time to spend with them.

That said, I never quite pictured myself as the married type, nor with kids, when I was 18.. or even 21. I dated a fair number of girls. I travelled around the world (well, not exactly literally, but I spent 6 years travelling/living in at least 20 countries). And then I met the woman that I later married and found that everything was even more fun when I had someone to do it with. That's me - I never pictured it, never dreamed it, never really thought about it, but within a week of meeting my future wife, I knew we'd marry... and we did 3 years later.

I don't think marriage is for everyone, and I definitely don't think kids should be for everyone. If anyone had asked me at 21 when I was going to get married, I'd have said "probably never". I never had anyone pressure me, or even ask me about it - although I was gone from home at age 19 and lived a long ways away for years.

Kids are hard. They challenge your patience, they cost a lot of money and sleep, it's awful watching them suffer through an illness, and trying to get them to eat a decent meal or just wear warm clothing is difficult, they impact every aspect of your life leaving you with little free time and a lot of things to worry about. Marriage is hard too - requiring patience, compromise and perserverance.

I took my older daughter to Narnia last night. We'd read it a-half-chapter-at-time at bedtime over the end of summer, and she watched the movie and a few minutes after Lucy stepped through the wardrobe in the movie, my daughter grabbed my arm and turned to me and whispered with a glowing smile "Dad, it's JUST like the book!" and I gave her a half-hug. It was really wonderful to see her so happy. Like the time that she learned to ride without training wheels. Or just taking her to a beach and helping her find shells and build sand castles.

If you don't see the point of marriage or kids, then give it time. If you never see the point, then that's probably for the best too - I can think of several friends who never should have married their partner, and I can think of several others who probably would be happier without children.
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great post:beer::thumbsup:
 
Originally posted by: shuttleboi
I think married people with kids are just plain losers. The only reason they go through the whole ordeal is due to societal pressures. They are brainwashed sheep being led to the slaughter. You know how in high school everyone's always saying "if all your friends jumped off a cliff, would you do it too?" Well, this is the same damn thing. All these losers are jumping off a cliff, and they expect the same for thing from you. Misery loves company.

You can live an extremely productive life being single. Case in point: I'm single, 33, have a PhD, make $100/year, and am living every single day to its fullest with a job I absolutely love (researcher at a Fortune-10 company) and fulfilling my hobbies (semi-pro photographer). Not once in my life have I ever had to say to myself "I've got to slow down, make some sacrifices, and give up on some of my dreams." That's what married losers do every day of their pathetic lives.

I may be missing out on some things that married people have. A trustful companion? I have good friends. Financial security? I've got a maxxed out 401k, a house, and lots of savings. A sense of virtue of taking care of others? I do volunteer work -- 600+ hours as a matter of fact. Someone to give your money to? I'm planning to donate my money to charity. I'd rather give to worthy people rather than potentially ungrateful pot-smoking children who just happen to have half my genes. Look up the word "meme" one of these days; those who share your memes are the ones you should be helping out.

All in all, being married = losers. Living your life the way you want to while single = winner.
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great post:beer::thumbsup:
 
Originally posted by: jEnus
shimsham, your bottle of vasalene is empty.
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LMAO , may I ask how did you find out 😉 😛

Originally posted by: shuttleboi
I think married people with kids are just plain losers. The only reason they go through the whole ordeal is due to societal pressures. They are brainwashed sheep being led to the slaughter. You know how in high school everyone's always saying "if all your friends jumped off a cliff, would you do it too?" Well, this is the same damn thing. All these losers are jumping off a cliff, and they expect the same for thing from you. Misery loves company.

You can live an extremely productive life being single. Case in point: I'm single, 33, have a PhD, make $100/year, and am living every single day to its fullest with a job I absolutely love (researcher at a Fortune-10 company) and fulfilling my hobbies (semi-pro photographer). Not once in my life have I ever had to say to myself "I've got to slow down, make some sacrifices, and give up on some of my dreams." That's what married losers do every day of their pathetic lives.

I may be missing out on some things that married people have. A trustful companion? I have good friends. Financial security? I've got a maxxed out 401k, a house, and lots of savings. A sense of virtue of taking care of others? I do volunteer work -- 600+ hours as a matter of fact. Someone to give your money to? I'm planning to donate my money to charity. I'd rather give to worthy people rather than potentially ungrateful pot-smoking children who just happen to have half my genes. Look up the word "meme" one of these days; those who share your memes are the ones you should be helping out.

All in all, being married = losers. Living your life the way you want to while single = winner.
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Damn it why did you stop you got me going there for while, as I said, I am not going to considre , marriage untill I get my Masters, once that all said and done , I will see if I should push my degrees a step further or something else.
May I ask what degrees you have ?
 
Seems like many here really want the married w/ kids life, and that's great - live life however you see fit. The ones calling singles w/ no kids immature & selfish, or claiming they must be young, on the other hand, are giving off a strong jealosy vibe. Sorry you fell in to the trap, but don't blame me.
 
Originally posted by: shuttleboi
I think married people with kids are just plain losers. The only reason they go through the whole ordeal is due to societal pressures. They are brainwashed sheep being led to the slaughter. You know how in high school everyone's always saying "if all your friends jumped off a cliff, would you do it too?" Well, this is the same damn thing. All these losers are jumping off a cliff, and they expect the same for thing from you. Misery loves company.

You can live an extremely productive life being single. Case in point: I'm single, 33, have a PhD, make $100/year, and am living every single day to its fullest with a job I absolutely love (researcher at a Fortune-10 company) and fulfilling my hobbies (semi-pro photographer). Not once in my life have I ever had to say to myself "I've got to slow down, make some sacrifices, and give up on some of my dreams." That's what married losers do every day of their pathetic lives.

I may be missing out on some things that married people have. A trustful companion? I have good friends. Financial security? I've got a maxxed out 401k, a house, and lots of savings. A sense of virtue of taking care of others? I do volunteer work -- 600+ hours as a matter of fact. Someone to give your money to? I'm planning to donate my money to charity. I'd rather give to worthy people rather than potentially ungrateful pot-smoking children who just happen to have half my genes. Look up the word "meme" one of these days; those who share your memes are the ones you should be helping out.

All in all, being married = losers. Living your life the way you want to while single = winner.
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So you're the stereotypical highpower businessperson unable to connect interpersonally with people, so you focus only on yourself and die alone?

What about all the other people out there as successful as you, as well as more successful, married with families loving their lives and living to the fullest? They must be loser sheep too right?

Utilizing a term like "meme" in the context of this thread only shows how utterly self absorbed you are. If that's your thing, I have no problem with that. But there are many people out there doing everything you are doing and more, with families. I almost feel sorry for you and your outlook. But that's the beauty of free will.
 
Originally posted by: shuttleboi
I think married people with kids are just plain losers. The only reason they go through the whole ordeal is due to societal pressures. They are brainwashed sheep being led to the slaughter. You know how in high school everyone's always saying "if all your friends jumped off a cliff, would you do it too?" Well, this is the same damn thing. All these losers are jumping off a cliff, and they expect the same for thing from you. Misery loves company.

You can live an extremely productive life being single. Case in point: I'm single, 33, have a PhD, make $100/year, and am living every single day to its fullest with a job I absolutely love (researcher at a Fortune-10 company) and fulfilling my hobbies (semi-pro photographer). Not once in my life have I ever had to say to myself "I've got to slow down, make some sacrifices, and give up on some of my dreams." That's what married losers do every day of their pathetic lives.

I may be missing out on some things that married people have. A trustful companion? I have good friends. Financial security? I've got a maxxed out 401k, a house, and lots of savings. A sense of virtue of taking care of others? I do volunteer work -- 600+ hours as a matter of fact. Someone to give your money to? I'm planning to donate my money to charity. I'd rather give to worthy people rather than potentially ungrateful pot-smoking children who just happen to have half my genes. Look up the word "meme" one of these days; those who share your memes are the ones you should be helping out.

All in all, being married = losers. Living your life the way you want to while single = winner.
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Wow... to each his own, I guess.

I'm curious as to whether you have a SO, and if not, what will happen when you get one. You're completely against marriage now, but what will happen when you fall in love with someone? Will you refuse to get married because all married people are losers?
 
I'm not supposed to be posting here... but...

Marriage is found in all cultures. It isn't just "paper and tax deduction". Its more than that...
 
Originally posted by: LadyBuggy
Originally posted by: shuttleboi
I think married people with kids are just plain losers. The only reason they go through the whole ordeal is due to societal pressures. They are brainwashed sheep being led to the slaughter. You know how in high school everyone's always saying "if all your friends jumped off a cliff, would you do it too?" Well, this is the same damn thing. All these losers are jumping off a cliff, and they expect the same for thing from you. Misery loves company.

You can live an extremely productive life being single. Case in point: I'm single, 33, have a PhD, make $100/year, and am living every single day to its fullest with a job I absolutely love (researcher at a Fortune-10 company) and fulfilling my hobbies (semi-pro photographer). Not once in my life have I ever had to say to myself "I've got to slow down, make some sacrifices, and give up on some of my dreams." That's what married losers do every day of their pathetic lives.

I may be missing out on some things that married people have. A trustful companion? I have good friends. Financial security? I've got a maxxed out 401k, a house, and lots of savings. A sense of virtue of taking care of others? I do volunteer work -- 600+ hours as a matter of fact. Someone to give your money to? I'm planning to donate my money to charity. I'd rather give to worthy people rather than potentially ungrateful pot-smoking children who just happen to have half my genes. Look up the word "meme" one of these days; those who share your memes are the ones you should be helping out.

All in all, being married = losers. Living your life the way you want to while single = winner.
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Wow... to each his own, I guess.

I'm curious as to whether you have a SO, and if not, what will happen when you get one. You're completely against marriage now, but what will happen when you fall in love with someone? Will you refuse to get married because all married people are losers?
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And what if he doesn't fall in love? Not everyone can only find happiness through others you know... some are fine alone or even prefer being alone. While this poster is a little standoffish about it, I can certainly understand where he's coming from - 9 out of 10 people on this forum will gladly call you an idiot, immature, selfish or gay, simply for having a mind which works differently from theirs. It really begins to get irritating after a while.
 
Originally posted by: remagavon
There's a reason that so many songs are written about love, whether it be true love or jaded. You won't ever understand this until you fall in love with someone, and if you have no desire to do so then you don't need a bunch of people on the internet to tell you otherwise. Many people are jilted lovers and as such will say that marriage never works, women are evil, etc; but a good portion of marriages do succeed--if you are with someone for the right reasons.
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Now I was ok with points of view from all sides, but this one pissed me of right off the bat.
The reason there are so many songs about love( and as a matter of fact I can't find a song that doesn't talk about love) is the that :

1- People are tools.
2- There isn't an album about love that won't trick / appeal to some dumbshit's emotions.

Sorry pal but I am one of the most fed up ppl with how songs go, that's why I take refuge in trance music, why ? Because I don't hear ppl talking, all I hear is some kick ass computer generated tunes , it just reaks awesomeness not to hear artist # 4587896 also talking about love!!!
 
Hey, you can discount all these people in here that are trying to forewarn you of your eventual lonliness and completely crappy life, but let me at least TRY to help you out again. It's very sad reading this. You will find yourself very very alone very very soon if you don't get your head on straight. You have a bad attitude about a lot of things here from love, to people, to women, to marraige, to sex, etc etc.

Talk to your grandparents or someone that was around a lot when you were a kid. Maybe an uncle or a close family friend. You might have repressed something really terrible that you might want to know about and understand. You need to get away from here and talk to some people who can really help you and shed some light on why you can't form relationships and why you have no desire to have sex. You say you want to have sex but honestly, I don't believe you. You basically have two choices. Either you figure out a way to psychologically help yourself or you figure out if you need to medicate yourself. Nothing you've said sounds even remotely healthy. If you don't want to get married and have kids then fine, that's your decision, but to not form relationships is a real problem you've got there.

Leaving your mark on this world through some lasting achievment has nothing to do with forming relationships. You should be able to devote your time to both. It is true that you will have to give up some things for a partner but the rewards are worth it. Is your problem that you're too self centered? Are you a selfish person? Do you form normal friendships? Do you have friends that are there for you no matter what? You'll find that life is a lot better with good relationships. Life is about the people around you. Everything else is secondary. You're lying to yourself and all of us if you can say that you're happy right now. You wouldn't have made this thread and said the things you've said if you were happy. How do you feel when you see a couple spooning happily in the park or with big smiles kissing? Do you not long for that at all? You've clearly stated that you avoid relationships and think love is stupid. You have problems and you're spending way too much time on here. You shouldn't be wasting your time asking for negative points about marraige just to reinforce your bad attitude. You should be out there in the real world talking to real people and trying to understand why billions of people disagree with you.

Maybe people are right. Maybe you shouldn't have kids since your genes propagating might not be a good idea, but shouldn't you at least try to live life to the fullest? Don't say you are since that is a lie. Don't get married, don't have kids, but do go out there and form healthy relationships.
 
Originally posted by: astrocase
Hey, you can discount all these people in here that are trying to forewarn you of your eventual lonliness and completely crappy life, but let me at least TRY to help you out again. It's very sad reading this. You will find yourself very very alone very very soon if you don't get your head on straight. You have a bad attitude about a lot of things here from love, to people, to women, to marraige, to sex, etc etc.

Talk to your grandparents or someone that was around a lot when you were a kid. Maybe an uncle or a close family friend. You might have repressed something really terrible that you might want to know about and understand. You need to get away from here and talk to some people who can really help you and shed some light on why you can't form relationships and why you have no desire to have sex. You say you want to have sex but honestly, I don't believe you. You basically have two choices. Either you figure out a way to psychologically help yourself or you figure out if you need to medicate yourself. Nothing you've said sounds even remotely healthy. If you don't want to get married and have kids then fine, that's your decision, but to not form relationships is a real problem you've got there.

Leaving your mark on this world through some lasting achievment has nothing to do with forming relationships. You should be able to devote your time to both. It is true that you will have to give up some things for a partner but the rewards are worth it. Is your problem that you're too self centered? Are you a selfish person? Do you form normal friendships? Do you have friends that are there for you no matter what? You'll find that life is a lot better with good relationships. Life is about the people around you. Everything else is secondary. You're lying to yourself and all of us if you can say that you're happy right now. You wouldn't have made this thread and said the things you've said if you were happy. How do you feel when you see a couple spooning happily in the park or with big smiles kissing? Do you not long for that at all? You've clearly stated that you avoid relationships and think love is stupid. You have problems and you're spending way too much time on here. You shouldn't be wasting your time asking for negative points about marraige just to reinforce your bad attitude. You should be out there in the real world talking to real people and trying to understand why billions of people disagree with you.

Maybe people are right. Maybe you shouldn't have kids since your genes propagating might not be a good idea, but shouldn't you at least try to live life to the fullest? Don't say you are since that is a lie. Don't get married, don't have kids, but do go out there and form healthy relationships.
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Your post talks about some reasonable points and will be added to my "To Be Considred" list, thank you for your input it's much appreciated.
 
I agree with OP in some way, I don't like kids but i would get a wife,

The average kid cost 270,000 to get it from birth to college, hmm Let me think of all the cool stuff I could buy with all the money trip me and the wife could enjoy.
 
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