I can't see the point behind getting married nor having kids.

[NarcoticHobo]

Originally posted by: JLGatsby

Originally posted by: BD2003



When people ignore logic and act based on feelings, they always get burned.

Point the first: Aristotle invented logic.

Point the second: Feelings can be a part of logic as postulated by aristotle.

The type of logic we are talking about here is the kind used in cost/benefit analysis. Logically by having kids you have added financial cost to your life in terms of pure money and liquid assets. However you have also added non-tangible factors to your life, such as a sense of passing on a part of yourself and of course the bond of parent to child. These feelings vary from person to person but the fact of the matter is they are often worth a lot more to people than money.

Economists take into consideration unquantifiable factors like this all the time, one big one is pollution. You may save $1 million by polluting a river, but it is often determined that having that river not polluted is worth much more than the money saved (hence environmental laws).

To say that all parents would agree that kids have made their life more difficult is probably true, but the disparity lies in that while the kids made their lives more difficult or complex I think that most parents would also say that kids made their lives better overall. And that counts a lot more than you may think.

 

[SMOGZINN]

Originally posted by: The Linuxator
this joy people get out of having babies and being stuck with another person for the rest of their lives. Things can turn out to be good and that person might become your soul mate, well that's all good, but what if things go bad, and that person becomes your enemy like most of the relationships I see aroud me. Wow children can bring joy to you, but that's not all of the cases that I have seen

As others have pointed out, children are about unconditional love, and the chance to make the world a little better place by teaching someone else to follow your example. It is also about learning about ourselves though their eyes. I do not have any children, so I can not really give you much there.

A spouse is about love also. There is really something special about having someone to share all the little moments of your life with. Someone who will really care that you finally got a hole in one, someone that will go and get you medicine at 2 in the morning when you are sick.

As to the part about them becoming enemies, well all I can really say to that is that it really is better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all.

I have had some spectacularly bad relationships, with my last one ending really badly, and I can say that with out a doubt that even knowing how much pain she would eventually cause me, I would not have given up the time we had together. Even though I still miss her, and I am often depressed about what happened. Even though I wish I could take back some of what I said and did. I know that those are the times that I grew the most as a person. It was worth it.
I am a better man because she loved me, and all that happened in the end does not change that.
No amount of pain now can undo all the happiness we brought each other.
Those are the reasons why it is always better to take a chance at love.

 

[NarcoticHobo]

Originally posted by: The Linuxator
So I was trying to determine how rare girls that would match my criteria would be , lets see :
- She gotta love Linux and more precisely the ideology behind it open-source.
- She gotta love Trance , Dance music of all it's varities.
- She needs to be either a Computer Science and Engineering major or Electrical Engineering major.
- BMW should be her car of choice
- Black is her color of choice
- She must beleive that signs are BS, cancer, scorpion....etc all of that is non-sense and most of the girls that I have met ask me about that stuff first, and I am like are you serious?."
- She must be very independent and not be influencd easy by other's opinions INCLUDING mine.
- She must not be a go with the flow girl, I hate fads and if you see a girl wearing an iPod around her neck just becasue it's the fad, guess what ? Chances are it's not going to be that girl
- She hates fashion
- She doesn't need too much makeup to show her beauty
- An IBM Thinkpad should be her ONLY Laptop of choice
- She must be a person that always has a goal to pursue, once she is done with one she has a nother and so on.
-She must be highly educated, and very very open minded and always seeking to know more.
- And no not like what you guys had in mind she should not look like a master geek if she is into computers. Yes a pretty face is a requirement.
- Last but not least she must be very very very humble and not be arrogant like most of the girls I see nowadays

Alot of criteria and hence why I don't think I will meet on of these. But oh well that's what my phsycology demands

"She must be very independent and not be influencd easy by other's opinions INCLUDING mine."

This one seems to contradict the rest of your demands.

 

[Special K]

I do not have any desire to get married right now and would not want to have kids either. I am also 23.

However I also believe that it could just be a matter of perspective, and my perspective could chage if I meet the right girl. I do not assume that this girl even exists though. If they do, great. If not, well right now I feel like I could live my life unmarried and find other ways to be successful.

To the people telling the OP that he will be lonely when he gets older if he is not married and all of his friends are:

Do you think it's better to be married to "someone", and have "a family", even if there isn't much love in it, than to be alone? It sounds like you are telling him to get married just for the sake of being married, because being in a loveless marriage would be better than being alone. Maybe I'm misinterpreting what you meant though.

 

[The Linuxator]

Originally posted by: Special K
I do not have any desire to get married right now and would not want to have kids either. I am also 23.

However I also believe that it could just be a matter of perspective, and my perspective could chage if I meet the right girl. I do not assume that this girl even exists though. If they do, great. If not, well right now I feel like I could live my life unmarried and find other ways to be successful.

To the people telling the OP that he will be lonely when he gets older if he is not married and all of his friends are:

Do you think it's better to be married to "someone", and have "a family", even if there isn't much love in it, than to be alone? It sounds like you are telling him to get married just for the sake of being married, because being in a loveless marriage would be better than being alone. Maybe I'm misinterpreting what you meant though.

They don't seem to get the idea.

 

[Xcobra]

This is how i see it: people always try to find something that gives a meaning to their life. In our society, having a family is what most people believe as what gives a meaning to their lives, thus a lot of people get married and have children. But this doesnt mean that having a family gives meaning to your life, it could be something else. So, OP, what does make your life meaningful?

 

[PrayForDeath]

Originally posted by: Doodoo
Give yourself a few more years and your views will change...

 

[The Linuxator]

Originally posted by: Xcobra
This is how i see it: people always try to find something that gives a meaning to their life. In our society, having a family is what most people believe as what gives a meaning to their lives, thus a lot of people get married and have children. But this doesnt mean that having a family gives meaning to your life, it could be something else. So, OP, what does make your life meaningful?

Aha someone with a question that isn't about questioning my sexual identity finally.
I look at my life and see how much knowledge I have gained, the more I know the more I can contribute to this world, building on that point my education is extremely important to me, I do like to help others I like to give more than I receive, I would like to do something that hasn't been done before, I don't like being like sheep in my society, therefore I like to come up with ideas that would make at least someone's life better, more productive and joyful. Leaving this life and knowing that I made a positive lasting impact on this planet, would translate into a total victory in my book.
Now I know someone will jump and say "Well you can make a positive impact by building a family" Well sorry to burst your bubble but we are back at square one with this one, why ? Well families don't always tend to be as positive as they intend to be, not all children follow the ideals that their parents have set forth for them, therefor if I have a family it might all go wrong, hence I am aiming at something more guaranteed . Now if I am going to pick a lady to accompany me through my life journey I don't want her to be hindrance to me towards achieving my objectives, that's why I would like her to have the same interests that I have so we can work together on that common goal that we have, otherwise I will be pushing towards one direction and she will be pushing towards the other and non of us will reach our goals, add children to the equation, and it gets much more complicated.

 

[Dragoon42]

So i read the last 2 pages. And I still haven't seen the OP say that's he's not gay, has he done that in an earlier post? I'm going with the gay theory

 

[The Linuxator]

Originally posted by: Dragoon42
So i read the last 2 pages. And I still haven't seen the OP say that's he's not gay, has he done that in an earlier post? I'm going with the gay theory

WTF do I have to say I am not gay in every single page ? How dumb are you ?? Read damn it !!

 

[TheAdvocate]

Originally posted by: engineereeyore

Originally posted by: TheAdvocate
I dont have an issue with someone who is dubious on the prospect of having kids and/or getting married. Those are both significant life choices that should be difficult to make at the OP's age (23, correct?).

But the fact that he seems unconcerned with the prospect of never having sex his entire life is a ridiculously obvious red flag.

OP -> Face it, you're either lying because you're bitter or to make a good story (1,000+ thread views), or you're as GAY as the day is long and in complete denial. There is no man your age on this planet that does not want to dip his wick in somebody, male or female, eventually, especially if he hasn't before. Shens times infinity if you say otherwise. It's basic biology.

BTW, I'm guessing you hold the record for marathon fwapping sessions...

Actually, I know quite a few individuals who also don't believe in pre-marital sex and also hold no record for "fwapping sessions." They're in their twenties, never had sex, and don't masturbate. They exercise this thing called self control because they want to share that experience with one person and one person only, if possible.

Just because you can't and won't control yourself gives you no right to call someone else a liar. Being able to control one's sexual desires is one of, if not the hardest, thing to control, which would make him more of a man than you.

Reading Comprehension FTW. I said WANT TO, you said DO. You fail at context decription too.

 

[TheAdvocate]

Originally posted by: The Linuxator

OH for the love of God, what kind of society is this nowadays, I mean I do have sexual desire and yes I "do want to dip my wick in some female"

That's not what you've previously stated. There's nothing right or wrong with your choices about pre-marital sex. That's a personal decision that may or may not have to do with religious and personal beliefs.

But when presented early on in the thread with the prospect that you'd never have sex with another human being if you held your course and never married, your reply was, to paraphrase, "so what?". That's what I'm calling shens on.

We can get way into it and discuss the needs for emotional (love) versus physical (sex) affection, but since you've almost exuberantly decried both, I'm calling B.S. Everyone wants to be loved, both romantically, and platonically (love of family, friends, etc), and everyone has a sex drive and WANTS to get freaky with someone, or heck, even something for the truly disturbed among us. Playing it off like you don't care reeks of hiding your sexuality in the closet, or being bitter over diminished prospects for love and/or sex.

 

[newParadigm]

Originally posted by: Tikloos

Originally posted by: The Linuxator

Originally posted by: Dissipate

Originally posted by: The Linuxator

Originally posted by: Tikloos

Originally posted by: The Linuxator

Originally posted by: Baked
Then you will die a lonely old man. Might as well... oh nm, this thread's pointless.

Dude I have a big-a$$ family it's not like I have nobody. Everyone in my family loves me and I love them back.

he mean no sex or children

I am really not a sex driven beast like the rest of the ppl I see around, I don't have this gigantic desire in me, and I think with my head, (ya the one that is on top not the bottom one like many others)

I think I get it now. He is asexual. I read an article about asexuals not too long ago. They aren't attracted to either sex and have no sex drive at all. Really sad.

I wouldn't call myself an asexual, but I am mildly attracted to girls sexually , hence not enough incentive to get married.

ASEXUAL>>>>LOLOLOL
ASEXUAL----reproduce WITH NO OXYGEN!

That would be anerobic, and it refers to respiration not reproduction. The scientific definition of asexual means that it only requires one organism to reproduce (such as ameoba's splitting themseleves in two, via mitosis)

 

[The Linuxator]

Originally posted by: TheAdvocate

Originally posted by: The Linuxator

OH for the love of God, what kind of society is this nowadays, I mean I do have sexual desire and yes I "do want to dip my wick in some female"

That's not what you've previously stated. There's nothing right or wrong with your choices about pre-marital sex. That's a personal decision that may or may not have to do with religious and personal beliefs.

But when presented early on in the thread with the prospect that you'd never have sex with another human being if you held your course and never married, your reply was, to paraphrase, "so what?". That's what I'm calling shens on.

We can get way into it and discuss the needs for emotional (love) versus physical (sex) affection, but since you've almost exuberantly decried both, I'm calling B.S. Everyone wants to be loved, both romantically, and platonically (love of family, friends, etc), and everyone has a sex drive and WANTS to get freaky with someone, or heck, even something for the truly disturbed among us. Playing it off like you don't care reeks of hiding your sexuality in the closet, or being bitter over diminished prospects for love and/or sex.

So using your analysis , is it impossible that I have less of a sex drive than you do ? Making it not matter much to me ??

 

[TheAdvocate]

Originally posted by: The Linuxator

So using your analysis , is it impossible that I have less of a sex drive than you do ? Making it not matter much to me ??

Less? Highly probable. Especially when I was your age.

But the whole attitude of "I don't care if I ever have sex" (not your exact words, I know) is HIGHLY suspect. That's my point.

 

[Xcobra]

Originally posted by: The Linuxator

Originally posted by: Xcobra
This is how i see it: people always try to find something that gives a meaning to their life. In our society, having a family is what most people believe as what gives a meaning to their lives, thus a lot of people get married and have children. But this doesnt mean that having a family gives meaning to your life, it could be something else. So, OP, what does make your life meaningful?

Aha someone with a question that isn't about questioning my sexual identity finally.
I look at my life and see how much knowledge I have gained, the more I know the more I can contribute to this world, building on that point my education is extremely important to me, I do like to help others I like to give more than I receive, I would like to do something that hasn't been done before, I don't like being like sheep in my society, therefore I like to come up with ideas that would make at least someone's life better, more productive and joyful. Leaving this life and knowing that I made a positive lasting impact on this planet, would translate into a total victory in my book.
Now I know someone will jump and say "Well you can make a positive impact by building a family" Well sorry to burst your bubble but we are back at square one with this one, why ? Well families don't always tend to be as positive as they intend to be, not all children follow the ideals that their parents have set forth for them, therefor if I have a family it might all go wrong, hence I am aiming at something more guaranteed . Now if I am going to pick a lady to accompany me through my life journey I don't want her to be hindrance to me towards achieving my objectives, that's why I would like her to have the same interests that I have so we can work together on that common goal that we have, otherwise I will be pushing towards one direction and she will be pushing towards the other and non of us will reach our goals, add children to the equation, and it gets much more complicated.

But why wouldnt a companion or a family enhance your goals? youre just looking at the negative side of it? a family sometimes does help achieve your goals, youre just not willing to take the chances that you might fail. Family might not be what gives your life a purpose but it can help you achieve that goal.

 

[The Linuxator]

Originally posted by: Xcobra

Originally posted by: The Linuxator

Originally posted by: Xcobra
This is how i see it: people always try to find something that gives a meaning to their life. In our society, having a family is what most people believe as what gives a meaning to their lives, thus a lot of people get married and have children. But this doesnt mean that having a family gives meaning to your life, it could be something else. So, OP, what does make your life meaningful?

Aha someone with a question that isn't about questioning my sexual identity finally.
I look at my life and see how much knowledge I have gained, the more I know the more I can contribute to this world, building on that point my education is extremely important to me, I do like to help others I like to give more than I receive, I would like to do something that hasn't been done before, I don't like being like sheep in my society, therefore I like to come up with ideas that would make at least someone's life better, more productive and joyful. Leaving this life and knowing that I made a positive lasting impact on this planet, would translate into a total victory in my book.
Now I know someone will jump and say "Well you can make a positive impact by building a family" Well sorry to burst your bubble but we are back at square one with this one, why ? Well families don't always tend to be as positive as they intend to be, not all children follow the ideals that their parents have set forth for them, therefor if I have a family it might all go wrong, hence I am aiming at something more guaranteed . Now if I am going to pick a lady to accompany me through my life journey I don't want her to be hindrance to me towards achieving my objectives, that's why I would like her to have the same interests that I have so we can work together on that common goal that we have, otherwise I will be pushing towards one direction and she will be pushing towards the other and non of us will reach our goals, add children to the equation, and it gets much more complicated.

But why wouldnt a companion or a family enhance your goals? youre just looking at the negative side of it? a family sometimes does help achieve your goals, youre just not willing to take the chances that you might fail. Family might not be what gives your life a purpose but it can help you achieve that goal.

Just adds more variables to the equation, it helps one one sie and hinders you from the other, you know children and wife don't come with no strings attached.

 

[mugs]

Originally posted by: The Linuxator
So using your analysis , is it impossible that I have less of a sex drive than you do ? Making it not matter much to me ??

Less sex drive - possible. NO sex drive - not possible in a male around the age of 20 with intact testicles.

If you continue on this course, you're going to end up like StormRider by the time you're 40 (no offense StormRider).

 

[Skeeedunt]

Some people refuse to believe that someone could be happy outside of a relationship. They think it's some kind of empty, soul-less experience just because they themselves feel desperately alone when they aren't attached at the hip to some pain in the ass. This is ridiculous.

People and perspectives change though. When I get older, I figure I might want a wife and/or kids. Right now I want nothing of the sort. And I am perfectly, reasonably happy.

 

[erub]

Overall it will help you with whatever your goals are..you don't think that every married past President has bounced off ideas off of his wife? Especially if she has interests similar to yours, but a different POV

 

[Pakman]

Originally posted by: engineereeyore

Originally posted by: TheAdvocate
I dont have an issue with someone who is dubious on the prospect of having kids and/or getting married. Those are both significant life choices that should be difficult to make at the OP's age (23, correct?).

But the fact that he seems unconcerned with the prospect of never having sex his entire life is a ridiculously obvious red flag.

OP -> Face it, you're either lying because you're bitter or to make a good story (1,000+ thread views), or you're as GAY as the day is long and in complete denial. There is no man your age on this planet that does not want to dip his wick in somebody, male or female, eventually, especially if he hasn't before. Shens times infinity if you say otherwise. It's basic biology.

BTW, I'm guessing you hold the record for marathon fwapping sessions...

Actually, I know quite a few individuals who also don't believe in pre-marital sex and also hold no record for "fwapping sessions." They're in their twenties, never had sex, and don't masturbate. They exercise this thing called self control because they want to share that experience with one person and one person only, if possible.

Just because you can't and won't control yourself gives you no right to call someone else a liar. Being able to control one's sexual desires is one of, if not the hardest, thing to control, which would make him more of a man than you.

Their testicles must be the size of bowling balls.

 

[Lumathix]

I commend you for knowing what you want out of life.
I wish more people were this way BEFORE having children. One of the saddest things I can think of, is an unwanted child brought into this world.

 

[amicold]

Originally posted by: acemcmac
:laugh:

In soviet russia, the wife and kids have you

Hahaha I spit out my drink. Classic.

 

[Muadib]

Originally posted by: mugs

Originally posted by: The Linuxator
So using your analysis , is it impossible that I have less of a sex drive than you do ? Making it not matter much to me ??

Less sex drive - possible. NO sex drive - not possible in a male around the age of 20 with intact testicles.

If you continue on this course, you're going to end up like StormRider by the time you're 40 (no offense StormRider).

WTF happened to Stormrider?

 

[theslickvik]

i shrudder to think