I CANNOT BELIEVE MY BF...

[hoihtah]

the way i see prenups is kinda like keeping a gun by the nite stand.

if ever anything happens... i'll know that i'll have something to protect myself with.
sure the gun is not to shoot at your wife... or you kids.
but stats will tell you ... that in most cases... it ends up hurting your loved ones.

invest the time/money writing prenups... in marriage counseling... or a night out with your wife/husband.

in the long run... happy marriage is better than a divorce that grants you what's already yours.

 

[dirtboy]

I see red flags going up all over the place on this one! Whoa... If your bf says that if you got married you would end up getting divorced, you should probably move on. He is obviously not committed and when the going gets tough, he'll be going... trust me on this one.

 

[ChrichtonsGirl]

Maybe I'm just strange, but why is it a problem to sign a piece of paper saying if you split up, you don't get to take anything he had before the marriage? Of course, what you, as a married couple, accrue during the marriage is a different thing, but unless you're marrying him for his trust fund, what difference does it make?

If I ever do get married again, I'd be happy to insist on a prenup that protects both of us from losing what we came into the relationship with. I don't expect any man to "owe" me something I had no part in attaining.

 

[Megatomic]

<< Because the legal system isn't particularly fair to men, a pre-nup is definitely a must. You don't expect to have a car accident either, but you do have insurance don't you? >>



This is almost exactly what I was going to say myself.

 

[iamwiz82]

Wow, i have gotten alot of attention. Just so everyone knows, a commercial spawned all this. As usual, the smallest things become giant issue around here.

I dont understand why she got so mad, i'm 19!!! I'm not getting married yet, yet she still likes to "look" for wedding dresses. Its amazing how often marriage gets brought up.

Oh well, i'm still in a good mood. I have learned to let her just cool off on her own.

 

[J Heartless Slick]

Considering the number of people, (mostly men but more and more women) who are taken to the cleaners by divorce, a pre-nup agreement does not sound all that bad to me.

 

[iamwiz82]

<< I see red flags going up all over the place on this one! Whoa... If your bf says that if you got married you would end up getting divorced, you should probably move on. He is obviously not committed and when the going gets tough, he'll be going... trust me on this one. >>



i never said that if we got married we would probably divorce, i said MOST MARRIAGES END IN DIVORCE. That is the problem, men say one thing and women completely change it to fit their thoughts.

 

[Ornery]

Thanks for bringing up Tom Lycus, Strawberrymom. I never heard of him, so I did a search. Found this in the process:

• Below is a true story about a very recent wedding that took place in Clemson, S.C.
  The events described below were reported on the Tom Lycus radio show, with nothing left out.
  • 
    
    
    There was a huge wedding in Clemson, S.C., with about 300 guests.
    The bride and groom were both from prominent families.
    After the wedding, at the reception, the groom got up on stage at the microphone to talk to the crowd.
    
    
    He said that he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding.
    He especially wanted to thank the bride and groom's families for coming; and his new father-in-law for providing such a fabulous reception.
    To thank everyone for coming, and bringing gifts and everything, he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift from just him.
    
    
    So, taped to the bottom of everyone's chair (including the wedding party) was a manila envelope.
    He said that was his gift to everyone, and told everyone to open the envelopes.
    Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 picture of his best man having sex with the bride.
    (He had gotten suspicious of the two of them and hired a private detective to trail them weeks prior to the wedding.)
    After he stood there and watched the people's reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said, F**k you?.
    He then turned to the bride and said, ?F**k you?.
    Then he turned to the dumbfounded crowd and said, ?I'm out of here.?
    
    
    He had the marriage annulled first thing on Monday morning.
    While most of us would have broken off the engagement immediately after finding out about the affair, this guy goes through with it anyway as if nothing was wrong.
    
    
    His revenge:
    • 
      
      1) Making the bride's parents pay over $32,000 for a 300-guest wedding and reception.
      
      
      2) Letting everyone know exactly what did happen.
      
      
      3) And best of all, trashing the bride's and best man's reputations in front of all their friends, their entire families i.e. their parents, brothers, sisters, grandparents, nieces and nephews, etc.
      This guy has balls the size of church bells.
    
    Terry & Terri Clement

 

[ChrichtonsGirl]

Ornery, while that's a damn funny story, I could have sworn it was an urban legend. I'll have to check out Snopes to be sure though.

 

[Lola]

<<I dont understand why she got so mad, i'm 19!!! I'm not getting married yet, yet she still likes to "look" for wedding dresses. Its amazing how often marriage gets brought up.>>

That is why i said before..."girls plan their 'dream wedding' form when they are wee little"...at least lots of girls i know...no, i don't plan of getting married for a while,,,and most of the time when i bring up weddings, i am joking. Just like a few days ago bf(iamwiz82) said, "so when are we getting a house?" I knew he was joking...When i talk about that stuff, i am just joking too...

 

[Ornery]

Yep, it's a confirmed Urban Legend. Sorry about that. And I still don't know who Tom Lycus is!

Thanks Ozma. Good point about the parents being punished. And I for damn sure would extract a pound of flesh from the best man! :|

 

[Moonbeam]

Trust me Ornery, you don't want to.

 

[Ornery]

Heh, what jury would convict?

 

[Mursilis]

<< Most marriages <sp?> end in divorce anymore. It's just the way things are. What is true today is not true tomorrow. Hate to be a doomsayer, but ya gotta protect yourself, it's for your good as well as your bf's. >>



If you're marrying someone from whom you need to 'protect' yourself, you shouldn't be marrying that person in the first place!! I swear, some of you people need to go back to arranged marriages!!


<---Does not have a prenup. Does not need a prenup. Said 'til death do us part. Meant it.

 

[Mrburns2007]

If the girl loves you she will sign anything to be with you otherwise she's not totally commited to the marriage.

Those are my feelings....

 

[classy]

A. Not only do I agree with you and think your right is your assessment.
B. "I honestly think he is "the guy of my dreams"." Hmmmm, I would maybe think on that a little more.

 

[Shalmanese]

I for one would want a pre-nup. Insisiting that you are not part of a 50% statistic seems very similar to the whole "it will never happen to me" attitudes that people who drive over the speed limit or smoke or anything like that give.

 

[mindless1]

ActPrincess, I suspect that your boyfriend is not "the one" for you...

Personally, i've felt as though i was in love a few times, but ultimately found out more about the person, and realized while we were similar enough, to the extent that we were both "molded" by the same culture and traveled in the same circles, there were significant philosophical differences between us, that would lead us both in different directions as we got older. Focusing on a prenup, isn't the real issue, it's something larger... What each of you considers a "marriage" to be.

Maybe it was just a simple misunderstanding, which could still suggest that you don't know each other very well, and with time and a little more communication, you will be more sure. Then again, you shouldn't have come to us with this, you should be talking to your BF. For whatever reason, you didn't, and that isn't a good sign.

 

[Peetoeng]

I don't believe in prenup, but I do believe in marrying a woman with big dowry.

Neffer17, do you copy?