I believe in making the world safe for our children...

[bleeb]

Originally posted by: minendo
About damn time you came back.

 

[asm0deus]

If you want to sue somebody, just get a little plastic skeleton and lay it in their yard. Then tell them their ants ate your baby.

 

[asm0deus]

When I found the skull in the woods, the first thing I did was call the police. But then I got curious about it. I picked it up, and started wondering who this person was, and why he had deer horns.

 

[OCNewbie]

For those scratching their heads, all (or most all anyway) of the posts by Amused in this thread are from a skit from SNL (Saturday Night Live) called "Deep Thoughts", by Jack Handy (unsure if that's his real name or not).

 

[jerryjg]

brilliant. i will try an amateur one. i wish i was a bat, that way, i could fly around and eat insects, and no one would say"look at that idiot flying around eating insects"

 

[Amused]

Instead of studying for finals, what about just going to the Bahamas and catching some rays? Maybe you'll flunk, but you might have flunked anyway; that's my point.

 

[Amused]

I wish I had a dollar for every time I spent a dollar, because then, yahoo!, I'd have all my money back.

 

[leftyman]

why did they call an orange, orange?using that theory wouldnt a strawberry be called a red, a lime green, a lemon yellow, you would run out of colors before you would run out of fruit.. oh the chaos that would ensue

 

[Amused]

If you want to be the popular one at a party, here's a good thing to do: Go up to some people who are talking and laughing and say, "Well, technically that's illegal." It might fit in with what somebody just said. And even if it doesn't, so what, I hate this stupid party.

 

[Amused]

I hope, when they die, cartoon characters have to answer for their sins.

 

[imported_malcontent]

Originally posted by: Amused
I hope, when they die, cartoon characters have to answer for their sins.

Only one way to kill a toon, gotta dip them.

 

[Amused]

If I was being executed by injection, I'd clean up my cell real neat. Then, when they came to get me, I'd say, "Injection? I thought you said inspection'." They'd probably feel real bad, and maybe I could get out of it.

 

[quakefiend420]

Originally posted by: Amused
If I was being executed by injection, I'd clean up my cell real neat. Then, when they came to get me, I'd say, "Injection? I thought you said inspection'." They'd probably feel real bad, and maybe I could get out of it.

good luck with that one 😛

 

[Stumps]

Originally posted by: quakefiend420

Originally posted by: Amused
If I was being executed by injection, I'd clean up my cell real neat. Then, when they came to get me, I'd say, "Injection? I thought you said inspection'." They'd probably feel real bad, and maybe I could get out of it.

good luck with that one 😛

LOL

 

[Amused]

I think a good novel would be where a bunch of men on a ship are looking for a whale. They look and look, but you know what? They never find him. And you know why they never find him? It doesn't say. The book leaves it up to you, the reader, to decide. Then, at the very end, there's a page you can lick and it tastes like Kool-Aid.

 

[quakefiend420]

Originally posted by: Amused
I think a good novel would be where a bunch of men on a ship are looking for a whale. They look and look, but you know what? They never find him. And you know why they never find him? It doesn't say. The book leaves it up to you, the reader, to decide. Then, at the very end, there's a page you can lick and it tastes like Kool-Aid.

have you been hitting the rock again?

 

[Amused]

If aliens from outer space ever come and we show them our civilization and they make fun of it, we should say we were just kidding, that this isn't really our civilization, but a gag we hoped they would like. Then we tell them to come back in twenty years to see our REAL civilization. After that, we start a crash program of coming up with an impressive new civilization. Either that, or just shoot down the aliens as they're waving good-bye.

 

[valkator]

Originally posted by: Amused
If aliens from outer space ever come and we show them our civilization and they make fun of it, we should say we were just kidding, that this isn't really our civilization, but a gag we hoped they would like. Then we tell them to come back in twenty years to see our REAL civilization. After that, we start a crash program of coming up with an impressive new civilization. Either that, or just shoot down the aliens as they're waving good-bye.

LOL now that is a good idea!

 

[Amused]

When I found the skull in the woods, the first thing I did was call the police. But then I got curious about it. I picked it up, and started wondering who this person was, and why he had deer horns.

 

[forrestroche]

Originally posted by: quakefiend420

Originally posted by: Amused
I think a good novel would be where a bunch of men on a ship are looking for a whale. They look and look, but you know what? They never find him. And you know why they never find him? It doesn't say. The book leaves it up to you, the reader, to decide. Then, at the very end, there's a page you can lick and it tastes like Kool-Aid.

have you been hitting the rock again?

Quite clearly - Amused made the CHOICE to consume - there's no such thing as addiction, just choice. He WANTED to become a junky.