I am hungover and still depressed, but in better shape than last night...

[Urinal Mint]

Update:

Thanks for the words everyone... I'm up and getting ready for work now, and I'm feeling a little better. Not as "over the top" about things as I was last night, but I still don't feel right. I need help. I realize this. I will get that help soon.

I need to just quit worrying about women, don't I? My pain doesn't focus simply on women, but that's what I focused on last night. I just have a general need to feel desirable, both socially and career-wise. In all aspects of my life I don't feel like people really want to have me around, or realize my potential. That makes me sad. Maybe people do and simply don't say anything... but a few words could really go a long way toward making me feel better, I think.

Don't get the idea I was sitting here drinking alone... I went to a friend's place for a big BBQ and did my drinking there.

I dunno... fact of the matter is that I do feel a little better today, and my damned head hurts a bit from the alky. Thanks guys, I appreciate everything!

-------------------------------------------------------------

I have everything seemingly going for me in life right now... great job, great friends, making good money, yet I'm still sitting here drunk off my ass right now and on the verge of tears because I hate every fiber of my being for some reason. Maybe it's because women never take notice of me, and the ones I try to talk to just blow me off and give me the cold shoulder. I dunno, maybe it's partially the booze talking, but I'm tired of watching all of my friends find the girl/guy of their dreams while I sit here in this miserable state wondering where I've gone wrong and what in the hell is wrong with me to make me so fvcking undesirable.

I know I'm all screwed up in the head, and I know I'm drunk right now, but I think like this all the time and just dont' say anything because I'm sober and afraid to mention anything. I have problems with myself, and I don't know why. I just wished I could understand why all of my friends are wanted and I'm not.

I'm not looking for an explanation or anything. I know I have a serious mood disorder (depression, going through a major depressive episode right now) and that my view of the world is skewed, but still, I never have a fvcking ounce of luck with women, and this just leads me further down the spiral of self-hatred. I need professional help, but I'm afraid of that too because I don't want to hand control of my emotions over to someone else. I've always thought I could handle my own head, but obviously I can't because I'm sitting here right now crying my eyes out and hating myself to the bone. I hurt so bad that my chest aches.

I dunno, maybe this thread will fall to the bottom so I won't have to read my own nonsense in the morning when I'm sober and at work... I just don't know anymore.

I've trimmed down 32 lbs in the past 3 months and women still won't have anything to do with me, which sinks me further into depression. I just think to myself, "what good is it for me to be physically fit and (what my girl friends consider to be) appealing when I meet girls out in public places and they just more or less give me the "go to hell" talk while they turn around and make time with some rich pompous piece of sh1t turdstabbing asshole.

Goddammit I am bitter. And sad. Sigh.

And if you try to give me some gayass explanation about all this, UnixFreak, I will make you eat donkey turds.

 

[mosdef]

You won't get girls if you are depressed, hate your life, etc. And right now, you really shouldn't concern yourself with that. Go get help, now! Don't think about anything else. There are more important things than girls in life, one being your own health. As you go through therapy, which may take a very long time, you will gain confidence, which girls will detect. Also maybe you should be hanging out with different people/at different places. If the girls you meet are like that, they are not worth your time and just causing you pain.

-mosdef

 

[GoldenBear]

Admitting there's something wrong with yourself is the first and most crucial step in solving it.

You definitely should see a good psychologist before it may be too late..

 

[luv2chill]

what about your blind date the other night? I thought it went well? Maybe you need to set your standards for women a little lower (in the looks dept. anyway).

And for God's sake, you need to see a Dr. You sound like a classical case of clinical depression. You've got no reason to hate yourself or your life. Getting drunk isn't going to help you move out of that rut. You need an anti-depressant med and/or therapy.

Be a man and get the help you need. Sometimes we just have to admit that we're not strong enough to handle everything ourselves.

Best of everyhing to you

l2c

 

[CuriousAndy]

reserved

 

[DAM]

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[yobarman]

damn dude..why's it always gotta end up like this when guys give up so easily. Chicks really don't care about your looks as long as you're not like ass ugly where it's repulsive. I check your cam out and you're not an ugly dude, at least i don't think so but im a guy so it's irrelevant. IT'S 98.234% PERSONALITY!! Girls can tell a lot of things about a guy right off the bat. If you're gonna act so depressed all the time..girls can smell it from a mile away. ahshit, I dunno how to explain it anymore..it's just a whole bunch of ideas in my head that i have that i know how girls look at guys and whatever.

hell whatever happens...keep up with the body for life..it's not all about looks with girls but hey now, you got your health.

 

[flippinfleck]

I think the most important thing to remember here is that if you make yourself too available, you look needy. You look desperate. You look unatractive

Tell yourself over and over, I am smart. I am attractive. I am sexy. And believe it.

If you don't love yourself, noone else will either.




And remember, you are someone special. Just ask your mom

 

[DAM]

Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice.
Of what I've tasted of desire I hold with those who favor fire.
But if I had to perish twice, I know enough of hate
that for destruction ice is also great, and will suffice. -RF






dam()

 

[reitz]

It's called "beer tears." You'll sober up in a few hours.

 

[ThisIsMatt]

<< Chicks really don't care about your looks as long as you're not like ass ugly where it's repulsive. >>



D@mn

 

[Scrapster]

what about your blind date the other night? I thought it went well?

Yeah, and didn't you say your ex was coming into town and you two were going to get it on?

Dude, get a shrink. . .My dad missed a few of my t-ball games and I'm trying to make-up for it in the therapists office every week.

 

[mosdef]

I agree with yobarman, you need to exude confidence. It definitely isn't easy, but you can learn tricks. Just be assertive, confident, etc. when you talk to girls. You could stand to lose more weight too. An easy thing to do is to take all that alcohol you are drinking out of your diet and replace it with water (same goes with soda) - and I mean completely. You will feel better about yourself even with the slightest loss of weight.

-mosdef

 

[blueghost75]

the right one just hasen't come along, thats all. sucks to wait. it works better if you are in a situation where you can get to nkow each girl around you by a little more than looks. i bet that you will find one that might not have looked so good at first, but once you know them a little bit, they might become very attractive.

you are depressed right now, obviously. i bet that once you find a really nice girl, who will hug you, and most importantly, care about you, you will feel so much better. i am depressed right now because I don't have anyone like that, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. i am sure your tunnel has a light at the end of it too. everyone's tunnel does....

i just don't like waiting.

also, it may be the case that you are running out of girls to meet in your office/other places that you go every day. in that case, try to do something that you don't normally do, find some way to make some new freinds/meet new people. It helps if you seek new freinds with freinds though.

 

[Urinal Mint]

<< what about your blind date the other night? I thought it went well?

Yeah, and didn't you say your ex was coming into town and you two were going to get it on?

Dude, get a shrink. . .My dad missed a few of my t-ball games and I'm trying to make-up for it in the therapists office every week. >>


You've said that sh1t about your dad missing games about 5 times already... is that the truth or are you pulling my leg?

 

[HansHurt]

Depression and alcohol just do not mix.

I know what your talking about..I will see if I can offer some real assistance later, but I HAVE to go fix a tub now.

Someone will surely drop in, and give some insight on the matter.

 

[Alienwho]

<< You've said that sh1t about your dad missing games about 5 times already... is that the truth or are you pulling my leg? >>


I was gonna ask the same question.

 

[Alienwho]

Yeah and UM, it's true what they said about you not being ass ugly. Trust me i'm the kind of guy that speaks my mind but when it comes to ass ugly, if you were I wouldn't have posted anything. You are the average Joe, and the average Joe gets chicks.

 

[TerreApart]

Dude, get a grip, chances are your doing better in-life, love, etc, then alot of people.

There are a hundred reasons you could be feeling down, some are related to age, weight, and general health. Others are created by ourselves by slowly losing the passion and zest for adventure and learning.

Do something you have anyways wanted to do-(positive thing, not negative)
Like:

-Go on a bike ride farther than you ever expected to go. 100miles? 200miles?
-Visit a nursing home and meet some new people, chances are you'll find someone there to slap you into reality.
-Sometimes going places you NEVER thought you'd go, will show you things you never thought you'd see.

Passion for life can't be borrowed or bought, however; it can be learned and inspired.

 

[Scrapster]

You've said that sh1t about your dad missing games about 5 times already... is that the truth or are you pulling my leg?

I'm f'ing serious goofball!! My dad was hardly ever there for me. So I got issues and I'm working them out. Treat it just like an illness and this is your medicine.

 

[Urinal Mint]

<< You've said that sh1t about your dad missing games about 5 times already... is that the truth or are you pulling my leg?

I'm f'ing serious goofball!! My dad was hardly ever there for me. So I got issues and I'm working them out. Treat it just like an illness and this is your medicine. >>



Yeah man, it is. I just wanted to know if you were being serious or not... half the people on this board just post utter bullsh1t to pacify people. Thanks for being honest with me, I really do appreciate it.

 

[Moonbeam]

I answer your question all the time and from different angles in various of my posts. I have good news and bad. The good news is that there's nothing wrong with, nothing as in not a thing, nada, zip. The bad news is that you can't believe me. Also, you are not alone. Everybody feels just like you do. Most people don't know it, don't want to know it, and don't want to know they don't want to know. The key is that we FEEL that way. That's completely different than we ARE that way. Those emotions you are afraid to hand over are your disease and your salvation if you can find a real therapist who has half a wit of real knowledge, and you have the courage to explore, express, let go of them. We don't want to feel because when we do we experience a fear of death. Why, because we died as children in the sense that we bought the lie that there is something wrong with us. We were made to feel terrible beyond belief and to feel it again is to remember it like it's happening all over. When you relive traumatic experiences you really relive them. It's horrible but it is profoundly alive. Reliving is living. Take a simple hypothetical possibility. You make trouble and Mom died in a car wreck. It's how God punished you for being bad. You can't live with that kind of self contempt and open pain. It gets supressed burried tightly bottled up, never to be touched again. You want a girlfriend but you're afraid to get infolved because she will die and it will be your fault. In therapy, by reliving that old wound you find out that you have been suffering from something terrible that you hadn't even the faintest idea you were feeling. When you remember by beginning to cry, for example, like you cried when she died the whole thing comes flooding in just as if it were happening now. Then, Now, as an adult you can see it afresh and realize deep down that it wasn't your fault, that you bought a lie, that it was never your fault.

Men are taught not to feel, to be tough, to endure, not complain. Men especially are hostile to their feelings, the door that holds the key to real life. What we long for with all our being is our real selves, the self we were meant to be free from self hate.

 

[Tripleshot]

Alcohol never solved anything. And a drunk only listens to another drunk.

Get off the pity pot and be responsinble for yourself. If you need help getting off alcohol,The first part of every phone book has an AA number. Use it.

You have problems with women? How attractive do you think you are if your drunk? How attractive are drunk women? Not very attractive,are they?

When you are sober,you can deal with life much better. Don't put your life in a bottle.

 

[EvanFerguson]

just be happy you're alive and maybe stop getting drunk too, eh? makes things worse





think of it this way, you're better off than a majority of the world's population
you're lucky, don't be stupid about it

 

[Urinal Mint]

<< Maybe this might help, it's corny but who knows.. might work.

Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is bliss, taste it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it. >>


Not to take a dump on your post... I do appreciate what you say. But it simply isn't that simple. I've tried doing all those things for the past 8 years and I still come back to this same old feeling in my head. Something is wrong in my brain and I'm having a real hard time dealing with it.