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Hypothetical situation: Would you date somebody with kids?

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I did and then married her. Now we have four kids, the oldest being my stepson. He hasn't seen his biological father since he was 3 months old and the guy does not keep in contact. My son (I rarely call him stepson, only as a clarification, such as in discussing this topic) knows about him, but doesn't have any feelings for him. In fact, he is constantly asking when we are going to get the adoption procedures going. It's so expensive it hinders the process, but we are working on it.
 
I'm not a guy, but if the reverse were the case: Hell no! Am I crazy? If you had the luxury of making babies without thinking much, I shouldn't be tied to you.

However, surprisingly, so many people I meet in real life are compromising and settling with men or women with kids from previous relationships. Is it just a desperation thing or what?

For me, the only exceptions I'll ever make to this rule is if the parent of the kids died and they were in good terms and relationship when that happened. But anyone who's got kids with someone who's alive shouldn't ever approach me. I can make my own babies.
 
I think it would be real hard I would always be thinking if she was just going out with me to get help suporting her kids.
 
Sure, why not.

I wouldn't mind having a kid right now, especially if they're young enough that they don't remember their "real" dad.

Once they're old enough to form their own opinions about me vs their dad it could be a different answer, I don't want a competition.

Viper GTS
 
Originally posted by: Skoorb
At that age hell no. Sorry but that's just too much baggage. If I was in my mid to late 20's and she was then I'd be more open to the idea.
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Bingo. 20 == too young. That's still the age where it should be
Originally posted by: Shockwave
all parties and sex on the couch's n stuff
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and people shouldn't have kids by that age. 😕

And just because of my age, I wouldn't date anyone with kids. So all the 27-year-old single moms trying to cougar me at college bars, you won't ever get anything more than a one-night-stand from me.

Yes, single mom who tried to pick me up, I'm talking to you.

- M4H
 
If I wasn't married, it would HEAVILY depend on the situation. I mean, there are MANY reasons why someone might have kids but be single currently: their partner died, they divorced, they wanted to have kids and be a single parent, etc. None of those events mean they're a bad person or that they wouldn't be wonderful to be friends with or to date. I dunno though... hell, you might fall in love with the person and their kids and make a great couple. 🙂

It all depends on how both people feel about it... this isn't something you can easily generalize.

 
Originally posted by: bmacd
You're 20 years old. Girl looks good. She has a kid or two. She's open about it. She loves her kids. They're number one to her. Would you pursue a relationship with her?

-=bmacd=-
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negative
 
I was actually in this situation. She was great girl, we got along fine. But she latched on pretty quick. I just got out of 7 year relationship. I told her i just wanted to be friends for right now and she went nuts. I still talk to her on AIM and even miss her at times.


remember you're not just dating her, you're dating the kids too.
 
I've done it, and it was one of the best relationships of my life. Of course, she and I were both in our late 20's and she only had partial custody. When the kids were around, they were her #1 priority and I was cool with that. She wasn't looking for someone to be "dad" for her kids (even though they needed one). 20 is pretty young, but alot depends on the woman and how mature she is. I've found that most 20 year olds aren't mature, it generally takes until mid 20's to be mature enough in our society to handle a LTR. Just be honest on your intentions and remember that some people aren't always interested in what's best for you.
 
Two or more kids = NO.

One, maybe, but it would depend on her situation. I'm not ready to come in and be the one who buys the house, big cars and stuff for her kids.
 
Originally posted by: Viper GTS
Sure, why not.

I wouldn't mind having a kid right now, especially if they're young enough that they don't remember their "real" dad.

Once they're old enough to form their own opinions about me vs their dad it could be a different answer, I don't want a competition.

Viper GTS
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It depends, My parents divorced when I was 2 but my dad has always been a big part of my life. My moom remarried when I was 14, but I am very close to him but don't call him dad.

My step-kids haven't seen their biological father since superbowl Jan 2000, and they've only spoken on the phone twice since then. (yes he's a real winner) My oldest is & she remembers him, but I don't think she'd recoginize him on the street. my yougest is 5 and he doesn't know who that man in some pictures is.

I'm hoping to adopt them next year.
 
Originally posted by: rayma2
I think it would be real hard I would always be thinking if she was just going out with me to get help suporting her kids.
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^^^
That's the answer i've been kinda nervous about.

-=bmacd=-
 
I would date a woman with a kid and I did try to date one sadly I was the wrong racial type 🙁 she was hispanic im caucasian but oh well I still go out with her almost every weekend when her kid goes to his fathers parents to spend time with them
 
hmmm. I'm 38, my wife and i have 3 kids and we're going out on a date this friday to see the new bond movie, so YES, i would date a woman with kids but ONLY if it was my wife. 🙂
 
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