Hypothetical situation: Would you date somebody with kids?

[bmacd]

You're 20 years old. Girl looks good. She has a kid or two. She's open about it. She loves her kids. They're number one to her. Would you pursue a relationship with her?

-=bmacd=-

 

[gopunk]

no. i would be great friends with her, because she sounds like a great person... but i wouldn't date her. there are horror stories about ex bfs having to pay child support for children that are not even their own because the court decided that since the children got attached to the bf he had to pay.

 

[CJZ]

Probably not.

 

[Shockwave]

Originally posted by: gopunk
no. i would be great friends with her, because she sounds like a great person... but i wouldn't date her. there are horror stories about ex bfs having to pay child support for children that are not even their own because the court decided that since the children got attached to the bf he had to pay.

Certainly a mature way to base our dating decisions.........

If you both have strong feelings, and she's not just a gold digger, why not? i mean, its a WHOLE different kind of relationship. It aint all parties and sex on the couch's n stuff. But then again, if your looking for a more mature type of relationship, it could be just the thing.

 

[gopunk]

Originally posted by: Shockwave

Originally posted by: gopunk
no. i would be great friends with her, because she sounds like a great person... but i wouldn't date her. there are horror stories about ex bfs having to pay child support for children that are not even their own because the court decided that since the children got attached to the bf he had to pay.

Certainly a mature way to base our dating decisions.........

you want to get stuck with child support for children that aren't even yours, that's great. i'll pass.

 

[Zebo]

Yes. Why should a woman be punished for having children? If you love her heck yes and let the courts deal with the X if he's is being irresponsible....

BTW- If your fortunate nough to find someone who love you and you love back you would to despite what you say now

 

[white]

she'd have to have one hell of a personality to go with the kids.

 

[Scarpozzi]

There is nothing wrong with having a relationship with someone who has kids. My only problem is that I'm not ready for kids and can't grow up enough yet to deal with the stress they cause. You can tell a lot about a gal that's a single mother though. They're usually a lot more mature than other gals and you can probably stand to be around them a lot more as long as they've grown from the parenting experience.

I've seen gals that are 19 that are TOTALLY immature. (dating one now) And I've seen gals that are 19 with kids that are more mature than I am. Of course these are just personal observations...it can go either way probably.

Don't worry about paying child support. No court can make you pay child support for just dating. I'd think you'd have to have a long term relationship and live with the mother before they could do that...plus it would take a real special kind of judge to force that...and an even more special girl to force someone to pay like that... *cough*bitch*cough*

 

[her209]

I've seen people with kids who are as immature as they are.

 

[DanTMWTMP]

Originally posted by: Shockwave

Originally posted by: gopunk
no. i would be great friends with her, because she sounds like a great person... but i wouldn't date her. there are horror stories about ex bfs having to pay child support for children that are not even their own because the court decided that since the children got attached to the bf he had to pay.

Certainly a mature way to base our dating decisions.........

If you both have strong feelings, and she's not just a gold digger, why not? i mean, its a WHOLE different kind of relationship. It aint all parties and sex on the couch's n stuff. But then again, if your looking for a more mature type of relationship, it could be just the thing.

gopunk's approach is logical...but hey...stuff happens...such as life...hehehe....never knw....any decision is somewhat of a gamble in life....if ur really considering someone like that,...well, review all ur options...but hey, good luck!

 

[Bluefront]

I've done it many times. You just have to realize a few things. You will never be #1 with her. Those kids with someone else for a father, always will be ahead of you. Hard to deal with.... Also young women with children are always looking to get married for the sake of their kids, not for your sake. Keep that in mind before you get involved.

 

[Shelly21]

Since it is hypothetical.... No, I would not.

Seriously thou... At 20, I think it is harder for a lot of people to overlook the "baggages". When people get older... it gets easier. Also, the kid's age is a factor too.

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: Bluefront
I've done it many times. You just have to realize a few things. You will never be #1 with her. Those kids with someone else for a father, always will be ahead of you. Hard to deal with.... Also young women with children are always looking to get married for the sake of their kids, not for your sake. Keep that in mind before you get involved.

Young children are number one with their mothers over anybody else including bio fathers (ask a few of the married men around here about that) as for the always wanting to remarry deal, it's been my experience that most women are very protective of their kids and a guy probably isn't going to even get to meet them until the woman has decided he's worth keeping around for awhile.


At age 20,few relationships are forever, take your time and get to know the woman if you like,when you and she have decided that perhaps it's more than casual dating, then get to know the kids over time.

 

[mcveigh]

would I date her??? HELL! I married her!
it's harder than other relationships. You have to remember the kids come first for her AND FOR YOU.

I didn't fall in love once but I had to fall in love three times. it's worth it.

<---- Just had 1 year anniversay on the 10th

 

[SagaLore]

no.

 

[kherman]

To answer your question, I would never get into a LTR with a woman with children. Dating, sure, but not much more than that. I'd decide this going if things started getting more serious, I would break it off. ASk her what she's looking for. if it's not the LTR, go for it.

It's true though, if a woman has a kid, she took herself off the market to over 50% of the guys out there.

 

[Yeeny]

Gopunk, that kind of women would be the kind to get pregnant by someone else, and claim it was yours anyway, so really, avoiding a woman with kids won't neccessarily save you from that anyway. It's sad that there are women out there like that. I am seperated, and getting divorced soon, and I would never expect anyone to pay for my kids, except their daddy. No matter what any court said, it simply would never go that far.

However, if I was with someone for a while, and my kids really loved them, and we broke up, I would hope they would be the kind of person that would still keep in contact with my children. That's why no one meets my kids, until I am sure that they are someone I could really be with. Too many kids get hurt that way, it sucks.

It's true though, if a woman has a kid, she took herself off the market to over 50% of the guys out there.

Have you seen the men out there? Thank God for that!!!

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: kherman
To answer your question, I would never get into a LTR with a woman with children. Dating, sure, but not much more than that. I'd decide this going if things started getting more serious, I would break it off. ASk her what she's looking for. if it's not the LTR, go for it.

It's true though, if a woman has a kid, she took herself off the market to over 50% of the guys out there.

Sounds to me that you're one of the 50% that single mothers are hoping to avoid, I do hope you're at least honest enough to tell the single mothers you date that they're just booty calls on the first date.

 

[Pliablemoose]

would I date her??? HELL! I married her!

Me too, fact is, the older you get, the more that this is a part of your social life.

First date with my wife was the Hercules movie for our kids. I had a child & so did she, our relationship has been built around the premise of raising our children together

It's a lot more complicated than dating childless women, but it can be very rewarding. BTW, you have to @ least offer to pay for the babysitter if you don't bring the kid along.

 

[Zebo]

.

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

Originally posted by: kherman
To answer your question, I would never get into a LTR with a woman with children. Dating, sure, but not much more than that. I'd decide this going if things started getting more serious, I would break it off. ASk her what she's looking for. if it's not the LTR, go for it.

It's true though, if a woman has a kid, she took herself off the market to over 50% of the guys out there.

Sounds to me that you're one of the 50% that single mothers are hoping to avoid, I do hope you're at least honest enough to tell the single mothers you date that they're just booty calls on the first date.

Bwahahaa.

50% of guys get divored too. I wonder why the women almost always start the proceedings

 

[spaceman]

if you love her, sure.

 

[MichaelD]

Heh, got some news for 'ya; once you hit 30, EVERY woman you try to date has three kids, is divorced, has two cats a dog and a hamster AND has a psycho ex husband that gets out of jail tomorrow. *sigh* Believe me, I know.

 

[McPhreak]

If her name happened to be Liz Hurley, sure.

 

[Yeeny]

Originally posted by: MichaelD
Heh, got some news for 'ya; once you hit 30, EVERY woman you try to date has three kids, is divorced, has two cats a dog and a hamster AND has a psycho ex husband that gets out of jail tomorrow. *sigh* Believe me, I know.

Hey, I don't have a dog, my ex isn't pyscho or in jail, and um, yeah, well the rest is right.

 

[StageLeft]

At that age hell no. Sorry but that's just too much baggage. If I was in my mid to late 20's and she was then I'd be more open to the idea.