Human beings are vultures

[child of wonder]

Why is it normally sane, civil people feel the need to pick at the corpses of their loved ones like vultures? They angrily scream, say nasty things, and demolish decades long relationships with family and friends over things like a wooden chest or a small ring.

Back in 1995 when my grandfather died, it amazed me how much my dad's brothers and sisters fought each other for the junk he left behind (and I do mean junk). My dad's family is filled with colorful characters, such as mothers who called their children "pieces of shit" openly in front of guests, 40+ year old virgins that have never lived outside my grandmother's basement, and other fascinating, contributing members to society, so one might expect this kind of reaction from them. I remember thinking that my mom's family would probably handle the same situation better.

My mom's mother has just gone into assisted living and, to my surprise, they're behaving just as badly and my grandmother isn't even dead yet!

Why do some people feel so compelled to permanently damage relationships with their siblings over useless trinkets and junk that will simply collect dust?

 

[sandorski]

People suck.

 

[dmcowen674]

People suck.

This

 

[MongGrel]

Welcome to the real world.

 

[Imp]

People are shit and usually out for number one. Just takes the right scenario to peel back all the "happy" and "nice" layers.

 

[squarecut1]

Materialism.

But many are not like that. ..well atleast some

 

[dighn]

instinct, evolution etc. etc.

 

[MomentsofSanity]

See it all the time in my job. Some people will throw away everything else to get what someone else had when they die.

 

[Platypus]

because default settings are hard to override, even worse when people aren't even aware of them.

 

[SlitheryDee]

I've noticed that issues like the op is talking about are usually started by one or two bad eggs in a group that end up bringing out the worst in everyone else. Most people really don't want to fight over the scraps someone else leaves behind. If left to their own devices they'd likely find an amicable way to deal with the estate.

Unfortunately there's always a sibling or other relative who moved away years ago while the others stayed and took care of the folks who will come swooping in to try and take as big a chunk of everything as they can. Of course this causes everyone else to dig in and resist them at every step. So it comes to pass that only one or maybe two people are really acting out of greed. They make everyone else angry enough to fight back, which makes them look as greedy as the others.

 

[dr150]

I also witnessed a relationship ruined over a crappy old Samsung 30" flatscreen after the death of someone....even though both parties have more/better TVs in their houses than they know what to do with.

Amusingly sad to witness petty stupidity.

 

[CA19100]

My mother basically doesn't speak to the rest of her family because of the materialism and petty greed shown by her brother and sister after their mother died. Her brother, who still lived in the same town, had power of attorney for their mother in her later years, and was steadily cashing in her savings bonds for "her living expenses." Turns out, after a little investigating, he was using most of that money to gamble with, and there was virtually nothing left when she died.

You really see people's true colors when money is involved.

 

[Printer Bandit]

blame the parents

 

[mikegg]

That's pretty crazy to think. My sister and brother and myself all love each other. If needed, we'd give each other all the money we have.

For example, I'm ready to my older brother all the money I have so he can buy a house. I make money more easily than him so I don't mind at all.

People ask when I'll get married and have kids. My thoughts are always about taking care of my older brother, sister, and parents before starting my own family. I want to make sure that they are well before I start my own.

But maybe when we're older and have families of our own that we need to take care of, we become more selfish? Don't now. It's not a problem for us right now.

 

[kranky]

I've seen it a couple times, it's hard to understand. People who are ordinarily civil turn into crazy.

Some years ago there was a death in my wife's extended family. During the funeral, one family member went to the home of the deceased and helped himself to a bunch of stuff. When it was discovered and the guy was confronted, he said he knew the rest of the family wouldn't have given him his "fair share" so he had to get it himself. He really didn't think it was a big deal.

During the FUNERAL!

 

[child of wonder]

It's incredible what people will do when it comes to the possessions left behind from a deceased loved one.

My parents asked me what I wanted of theirs after they're gone and I said "outside of photo albums, I don't care. Unless collecting a certain amount of your stuff somehow brings you back to life, I don't need any of it."

Clinging to the material objects of the deceased seems, to me, to be an unwillingness to let the person go.

 

[highland145]

Some years ago, my sis made some small comment about who gets what. My bro, the oldest and executor, said, "There won't be any fighting. The house will burn down 1st." Guess that's settled.

 

[RearAdmiral]

It seems only the more poor people in my family behave like this, or those that are counting on some sort of inheritance. The penny wise and pound foolish folks. Otherwise family deaths have been fairly reasonable outside of those folks.

This is the type of thing that really does bother me too though, all those true personality traits come on out when free stuff is up for grabs.

 

[Newell Steamer]

Humanity should not exist frankly.

 

[surfsatwerk]

*caw caw*

 

[child of wonder]

It seems only the more poor people in my family behave like this, or those that are counting on some sort of inheritance. The penny wise and pound foolish folks. Otherwise family deaths have been fairly reasonable outside of those folks.

This is the type of thing that really does bother me too though, all those true personality traits come on out when free stuff is up for grabs.

That's what I thought after seeing my dad's mostly poor siblings fight over the scraps when my grandfather passed away. My mother's siblings are generally middle class and upper middle class yet they're fighting just as much, even though my grandmother is simply moving out of her house and into assisted living.

As others have said, it shows people's true colors.

 

[JManInPhoenix]

OP - your post sounds like my four female cousins. Greedy, greedy, greedy vultures that care more about what they can plunder than the decedent. Saw this with my grandmother & uncle both when they passed.

 

[Fritzo]

This is why I hate people. My only concern in life is what I can earn for myself, not what others can give me.

People who focus on the opposite tend to cause most of the problems in the world.

 

[Jaskalas]

We humans are animals. Modern society gives us the opportunity to hide it behind a mask, but the skull bashing primate still lives beneath, waiting for an opportunity to let loose.

Thousands of years of nature and instinct will not be forgotten so easily. Enlightenment is the idea that we can some day shed these murderous traits. Perhaps some day we will, but until then you can always assume the worst. Those smiling faces are not so pretty when push comes to shove. Only in that moment is when you truly know a person.

 

[mmntech]

My dad's family is hyper materialistic. We're not, somwe don't get along with them. Primary reason why I chose to work a Saturday instead of going to my cousin's stupid wedding this summer. You should have seen all the expensive crap she had in the gift registry. Stuff she doesn't need.

My dad's cousin once commented that my parents house was really small in a real condecending way. It's about 2800sqft, so a standard issue 80s suburban home. They're the kind of folk that measure you up on what you have rather than what you are. Can't imagine what they think of me. Now my mom's family is the complete opposite. I get along with them a lot better.

Other folks I know are betting their entire retirement plan on their parents kicking the bucket and leaving them money and the house. Good luck with that.

So yeah, people are stupid.