How to golf

[AntiFreze]

So a friend of mine convinced me to donate money to a charity to participate in a golf tournament. I've never golfed except for mini golf. I am borrowing a set of clubs from a coworker. Our plan is to drink heavily on the course. I'd rather not make a complete fool out of myself.

Can anyone give me some advice besides playing wii golf (which I have been this past weekend).

Should I just go to a driving range this week and start swinging?

I've never played baseball either, so I have no clue if that is good or bad when going to golf. I'm more of a soccer player.

 

[Jschmuck2]

Hoooo boy.

 

[ScoobMaster]

Hit ball with stick - how hard can it be/

 

[silverpig]

Drinking + first time golfing = You're gonna put your soccer skills to work kicking the ball down the fairway.

Honestly, it's bloody hard to even hit the ball the first time you go out, let alone make it do what you want it to. Definitely go to a range and get a lesson if you expect to have any kind of fun.

 

[CrazyLazy]

The ball moves better through the air when it is moist, you obviously know nothing of fluid dynamics and failed out of high school otherwise you wouldn't be asking this. Before each shot you need to take the balls, insert them into your mouth and gargle them as far down your throat as you can. This moisture will add another 100 yards to your drive.

 

[Tim]

Originally posted by: CrazyLazy
The ball moves better through the air when it is moist, you obviously know nothing of fluid dynamics and failed out of high school otherwise you wouldn't be asking this. Before each shot you need to take the balls, insert them into your mouth and gargle them as far down your throat as you can. This moisture will add another 100 yards to your drive.

I certainly hope you're willing to prove this theory for us before we try it. Here, try it on this bowling ball.

 

[CrazyLazy]

Originally posted by: theplaidfad

Originally posted by: CrazyLazy
The ball moves better through the air when it is moist, you obviously know nothing of fluid dynamics and failed out of high school otherwise you wouldn't be asking this. Before each shot you need to take the balls, insert them into your mouth and gargle them as far down your throat as you can. This moisture will add another 100 yards to your drive.

I certainly hope you're willing to prove this theory for us before we try it. Here, try it on this bowling ball.

Bowling balls don't travel through the air, it's totally different. For bowling balls you need to stick your peeper in the whole and make a baby. The internal lubricant will cause the balls axis to spin more stably and you will bowling 300's in no time.

 

[Whoozyerdaddy]

I see the OP will be the entertainment for the day...

 

[Fiat1]

Hit the range every night for a week. Relax, keep your head down, keep your left arm against your left side on the back swing, don't try and kill the ball just swing easy, hit the sweet spot on the club face, timing is everything, hips should pivot when you hit the ball if you slice your club face is open if you hook your club face is closed correct both with you wrist keep the bsck of your left wrist at the target, follow through completely, with your iron shots you want just to brush the grass at the ball. GOOD LUCK

 

[kranky]

To be frank, it's practically impossible to play a normal round of golf without embarrassing yourself if you have never once played the game or taken a lesson.

Is it a "scramble"? It probably is, which means you don't have to worry. In a scramble, you have 4-man teams. Each person tees off, and the team chooses the best of the 4 shots. Then each person takes a shot from that spot. They choose the best again, and so on. So you can't really hurt your team no matter how bad you are, except it's unlikely you'll ever contribute the best shot. And you might even make a tough putt.

If it's a normal round of golf, then agree at the start with the other players in your foursome that you will play 5 shots max per hole, so you don't hold things up all day.

 

[Tim]

Originally posted by: CrazyLazy

Originally posted by: theplaidfad

Originally posted by: CrazyLazy
The ball moves better through the air when it is moist, you obviously know nothing of fluid dynamics and failed out of high school otherwise you wouldn't be asking this. Before each shot you need to take the balls, insert them into your mouth and gargle them as far down your throat as you can. This moisture will add another 100 yards to your drive.

I certainly hope you're willing to prove this theory for us before we try it. Here, try it on this bowling ball.

Bowling balls don't travel through the air, it's totally different. For bowling balls you need to stick your peeper in the whole and make a baby. The internal lubricant will cause the balls axis to spin more stably and you will bowling 300's in no time.

They do if you're throwing them, and that's what I'm interested in doing. So until you prove your other statement true by gargling my bowling balls in your mouth, SHENS on you.

 

[Baked]

Originally posted by: ScoobMaster
Hit ball with stick - how hard can it be/

Some people just don't have the hand-eye coordination. If he's never played baseball, chances are he'll fail at hitting a smaller ball miserably.

 

[Atomic Playboy]

Originally posted by: AntiFreze
So a friend of mine convinced me to donate money to a charity to participate in a golf tournament. I've never golfed except for mini golf. I am borrowing a set of clubs from a coworker. Our plan is to drink heavily on the course. I'd rather not make a complete fool out of myself.

Those two statements don't work together.

 

[Papagayo]

Don't try to kill the ball.
controlled swing and just have fun..

 

[hiromizu]

Ummm...guys, golf isn't THAT hard. I played once and hit a 200 yard drive with a 7 metaliron. It's kind of simple really. You just swing at the ball like baseball except it's angled down a bit and up and away you go. Just don't move your legs as much which will put a spin on the ball which is bad. Drinking loosens you up but I think it's better overall to play sober as you'll need to concentrate. It's a game of concentration and strategy, not a brawl.

 

[SphinxnihpS]

Originally posted by: AntiFreze
Our plan is to drink heavily on the course. I'd rather not make a complete fool out of myself.

GOOD PLAN!

Beaten to punch by AP! (owwy)

 

[Insomniator]

Wow you are going to suck, badly.

I played baseball for 10 years, and normally pickup and am good at any sport I try. Went to the driving range for the first time, could barely hit the ball.

Golf is so damn hard its not even fun unless you practice all the time.

 

[GoSharks]

Originally posted by: hiromizu
I played once and hit a 200 yard drive with a 7 metaliron.

Shens. (or go pro)

 

[PetunZ]

Originally posted by: Fiat1
Relax, keep your head down, keep your left arm against your left side on the back swing, don't try and kill the ball just swing easy, hit the sweet spot on the club face, timing is everything, hips should pivot when you hit the ball if you slice your club face is open if you hook your club face is closed correct both with you wrist keep the bsck of your left wrist at the target, follow through completely, with your iron shots you want just to brush the grass at the ball. GOOD LUCK

Lol, I like how you put all 200 steps into one big sentence for him. I've bolded the parts you should probably remember most your first time out.

 

[Mo0o]

You're going to piss off everyone on hte course

 

[spidey07]

Originally posted by: Mo0o
You're going to piss off everyone on hte course

Not if he's playing with other people, they'll show him the ropes.

OP - just don't take a ton of time and if your ball is lost, it's lost. Take out a new one.

Two reallly easy things to remember.

1) If you're slow pick up your ball and move on with the others
2) Don't talk or make noise when a member of your group, on the tee or close by is over the ball preparing for a shot. Don't be rustling clubs or yakking, just be quiet.

 

[AntiFreze]

good advice everyone. it is one of those scramble games, and i like everyone on my 4-man team. they know I'm going to suck and are excited to see me make a fool of myself. It's for a charity, so people should be too pissed off at me.

 

[silverpig]

Originally posted by: GoSharks

Originally posted by: hiromizu
I played once and hit a 200 yard drive with a 7 metaliron.

Shens. (or go pro)

It's actually not that hard. You just have to hit the ball with the bottom edge of the club, half skulling it. It's definitely not a proper 7-iron shot, but it's bound to happen to a noob on a range.

 

[GagHalfrunt]

Originally posted by: AntiFreze
Our plan is to drink heavily on the course. I'd rather not make a complete fool out of myself.

You want to avoid looking like a fool? Do everyone else in the event a favor and just stay in the clubhouse to drink. Your team won't miss you and those groups behind you would appreciate your sense in staying off the course. Never having played before you don't belong on a course, you belong on a range. If you attempt to play you will prove that you're a complete fool with each and every failed swing.

 

[nakedfrog]

A golf swing is so unnatural that you can't just "do" it. Get that friend of yours to meet you at the driving range and see if you can at least launch a ball 100 yards by the time you leave.