How to deal with roommate that doesn't clean up after himself?

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BigToque

Lifer
Oct 10, 1999
11,700
0
76
I've got a friend living with me (my house) and he's a total slob. I've been letting things slide and not saying anything partially because I'm a bit of a neat freak, and partially because I'd rather have his rent than not have it.

I don't care about how he keeps his room. If he wants to live in a sty, that's his business.

I REALLY care about how he treats the kitchen. We've got a dishwasher, yet the dishes just stay on the counter. He uses every pot and frying pan and just puts them in the sink (most of the time with a bunch of shit still in them) and they sit there for days until I need to use them.

How should I approach this? I really don't think it's unreasonable to think dishes should be put in the dishwasher and pots cleaned after use.

I'd like to just say "I would really appreciate it if you could clean up when you finish making your meals".

If that doesn't work should I say that when he doesn't clean up, I'm gonna cut his internet access? Allow him internet, but cut his torrent access? I pay for everything, so I feel I've got some bargaining power here.

I don't really care it he gets pissed and leaves at this point.

[Edit]
I was watching TV when he came home and I was too lazy to talk to him. I cleaned the kitchen and put everything away this afternoon. He made himself dinner and made a huge mess. I just disabled his ability to download torrents and I'm feeling better already :p
 
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DesiPower

DesiPower

Lifer
Nov 22, 2008
15,299
740
126
I have lived with roommates for about 4 years. My advise, don't waste your time, there is nothing you can do... if you make a big deal out of it maybe it will be clean for a few days or a week, after that it will be back to where it was. Only solution is to kick them out, or move your a$$ out or live alone. I stared living by myself as soon as I could afford it...
 
Crusty

Crusty

Lifer
Sep 30, 2001
12,684
2
81
Talk to him about it. Ideally this is something that should be discussed BEFORE moving in and if you did you can simply remind him that he agreed to keep the place clean. If not, you need to set some expectations of what 'clean' is.

Getting pissed off at him and yelling will only make him resent you and probably make him even less likely to clean up.
 
purbeast0

purbeast0

No Lifer
Sep 13, 2001
53,474
6,315
126
well he has no incentive to do it since you clean up after him. it's win win for him.
 
gaidensensei

gaidensensei

Banned
May 31, 2003
2,851
2
81
This is why I prefer single room apartments. Hate that crap.

Here's an even better story:
I couldn't even get my younger brother to fix his habits back at home. And we're related by blood. It is very difficult.
 
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N

nageov3t

Lifer
Feb 18, 2004
42,808
83
91
I had a roommate like that.

I took photographs of his sink and emailed them to mutual friends to make fun of him.

the best compromise I was ever able to work out was getting him to rinse off his dishes before putting them in the sink.
 
Azraele

Azraele

Elite Member
Nov 5, 2000
16,524
29
91
Just talk to him. be reasonable and ask how he might feel if the roles were reversed. Or play hard ball and take away kitchen privileges. Tell him he can get one of those small fridges college kids use and his own set of pots/pans and an electric burner. His dishes can stay in your sink no longer than 24 hours before they get thrown away.
 
polarmystery

polarmystery

Diamond Member
Aug 21, 2005
3,888
8
81
DesiPower said:
I have lived with roommates for about 4 years. My advise, don't waste your time, there is nothing you can do... if you make a big deal out of it maybe it will be clean for a few days or a week, after that it will be back to where it was. Only solution is to kick them out, or move your a$$ out or live alone. I stared living by myself as soon as I could afford it...
Click to expand...

From my experience, this is the only solution.
 
child of wonder

child of wonder

Diamond Member
Aug 31, 2006
8,307
176
106
Having lived with a guy who once ate almost an entire Christmas tin of ice cream my girlfriend at the time had received as a gift who, when confronted, said "good thing I didn't like it or I would have eaten the whole thing" I can say from experience you should actively seek to live on your own.
 
moshquerade

moshquerade

No Lifer
Nov 1, 2001
61,504
12
56
DesiPower said:
I have lived with roommates for about 4 years. My advise, don't waste your time, there is nothing you can do... if you make a big deal out of it maybe it will be clean for a few days or a week, after that it will be back to where it was. Only solution is to kick them out, or move your a$$ out or live alone. I stared living by myself as soon as I could afford it...
Click to expand...
this.

he won't change no matter how you approach him about it. he's a slob.
i've had two female roommates at one time, both slobs. they made fun of me for picking up. yeh, nice.
 
SneakyStuff

SneakyStuff

Diamond Member
Jan 13, 2004
4,294
0
76
"I pay for everything, so I feel I've got some bargaining power here."

He lives with you and you pay for everything? If he uses the same power/internet/water as you he should be splitting the bills right down the middle. I'd be more worried about that and not some dirty dishes.
 
rudder

rudder

Lifer
Nov 9, 2000
19,441
86
91
BigToque said:
I'd like to just say "I would really appreciate it if you could clean up when you finish making your meals".

If that doesn't work should I say that when he doesn't clean up, I'm gonna cut his internet access? Allow him internet, but cut his torrent access? I pay for everything, so I feel I've got some bargaining power here.

I don't really care it he gets pissed and leaves at this point.
Click to expand...

You have no bargaining power and he will not leave. You are his bitch... he knows it and you know it. Otherwise you would have kicked his ass to the curb before you felt the need to post here.
 
BoomerD

BoomerD

No Lifer
Feb 26, 2006
65,622
14,007
146
"If you don't start cleaning up after yourself and helping with keeping the apartment clean, you're going to have to find other living arrangements."

One week later:

"I asked you to clean up after yourself and to help keep the place clean. You haven't done that, so you have <insert legal minimum for eviction> to find a new place to live."

Friends or not, there's no excuse for living like pigs.
 
T

txrandom

Diamond Member
Aug 15, 2004
3,773
0
71
Are they your dishes? Tell him he can't use them unless he cleans them immediately after use. Also, throw his dirty dishes on his bed, and he will get the picture quickly. Stop being a pussy and man the shit up.
 
alkemyst

alkemyst

No Lifer
Feb 13, 2001
83,769
19
81
purbeast0 said:
well he has no incentive to do it since you clean up after him. it's win win for him.
Click to expand...

QFT

that said if you own this place and have him living with you he already knows you need him.

If you don't talk to and even confront a roommate you are going to be living their lifestyle. It's hard to find a compromise.

So far I have lived alone or only with women I was hoping would go further with (outside of living with my parents)
 
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