How to break up with a GF of 3 years?

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hydrobr

Member
Aug 7, 2003
34
0
0
I find it a little strange that (from what I can tell) you haven't even considered the possibility of working things out with her. You said you tried to nudge her toward more wife-y material, but did you ever lay it out straight for her? You love her and you care about her but unless she grows up you don't see you two being together in the future.

I'd suggest not throwing what you have away. Whoever said that you have communication might be onto something. I'm not saying you do, but it's something to consider. I think after three years it's more important to talk to her about the concerns you have for the relationship rather than AT...

With that said, it sounds like you've already made up your mind and, really.. there's no going back once it's happened. Once you're in that mindset, it'll never be the same with her and you'll never be satisfied with her. Under that assumption, you can still voice your concerns but with different intonation that's more... somber and final rather than concerned and that would get the point across without hurting her anymore than you have to.
 

klod

Senior member
Nov 10, 2000
287
0
76
Say to her "Everyone who has a boyfriend take one step forward. Not so fast..."
 

zoiks

Lifer
Jan 13, 2000
11,787
3
81
Just tell her that you want to move on and that she's not the one.
There are a million ways to phrase that.
 

rahvin

Elite Member
Oct 10, 1999
8,475
1
0
Don't try to spare her feelings, in doing so you will only create doubt and uncertainty. You have to be straight forward and totally truthful, just like taking a bandaid off quickly. It hurts a lot less in the long run to do it quick and truthfully.
 

TUKIN18S

Senior member
May 12, 2005
495
0
0
Email her!!! Nah, just kidding. Man up and tell her to her face. Either way you are going to have to deal with the emotional part of it anyway. You might as well stop stringing her along.
 

Krazy4Real

Lifer
Oct 3, 2003
12,221
55
91
Make a powerpoint presentation describing her traits Vs. your ideal wife's traits.
Type up a meeting agenda and print it out for her.
Schedule a time to meet with her.
Go through your powerpoint presentation with her.
Develop an action plan with her to improve her "wife performance".
Review her progress after the 3 month probation period.
End relationship or get married depending on her performance.

Seriously, it'll work.
 

BooGiMaN

Diamond Member
Jul 5, 2001
7,955
0
0
after all this planning and advice getting i hope murphy's law doesnt take over and she:

a: beats you to the punch and dumps you
b: she says "thank God you told me this i was waiting until after the holidays to dump YOU!"
c: turns out to be a pycho bitch that is going to hunt you down and make you her bitch


but in all seriousness it seems like you have made up your mind, i would have talked to her, laid my cards out on the table and said look i want to eventually get married but only if the following things change...otherwise i dont see it working out between us...


 

lasergecko

Senior member
Jul 17, 2001
521
0
0
Originally posted by: rahvin
Don't try to spare her feelings, in doing so you will only create doubt and uncertainty. You have to be straight forward and totally truthful, just like taking a bandaid off quickly. It hurts a lot less in the long run to do it quick and truthfully.

Women love uncertainty, don't give her any thing but the clear clean cut message.

People quit people before they quit the relationship and you've quit her so axe the relationship now.
 

lasergecko

Senior member
Jul 17, 2001
521
0
0
Originally posted by: homestarmy
Originally posted by: Vonkhan
Originally posted by: spherrod
Originally posted by: archcommus
Explain the situation.

Wow that was hard.

:thumbsup: yep, don't try and be clever - just explain the situation to her

your GF of 3 years tells that u that u're not husband material ... how'd u feel?

WOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOO!!!


Better to know than be BS'ed and led on.
 

Vonkhan

Diamond Member
Feb 27, 2003
8,198
0
71
Originally posted by: lasergecko
Vonkhan , So what did you decide to do?

I'll wait till the first week of Jan & tell her that altho I love her, but I've changed & I just don't see a future for "us"
 

Cdubneeddeal

Diamond Member
Oct 22, 2003
7,473
3
81
Originally posted by: musicman87
Impregnate her with ur seed and skip country. "Spread your royal oats", as said in Coming to America.

Johnny Appleseed , Download NOFX - Johnny Appleseed for more info...good song :thumbsup:
 

PingSpike

Lifer
Feb 25, 2004
21,758
603
126
Originally posted by: otispunkmeyer
Originally posted by: Vonkhan
... maybe I should wait till the holidays are over - for her sake. I really don't wanna drag it out, I feel like ****** thru the holidays but atleast I'll wont ruin hers.


dude she's drop dead gorgeous.

i would honestly try to make it work. you have to compromise.

He's already fvcked her for awhile. Making marriage decisions based on your dick is a good way to end up %50 poorer. And people don't change, and asking them to is unfair.
 

SKORPI0

Lifer
Jan 18, 2000
18,481
2,418
136
Originally posted by: Vonkhan
Originally posted by: lasergecko
Vonkhan , So what did you decide to do?

I'll wait till the first week of Jan & tell her that altho I love her, but I've changed & I just don't see a future for "us"
I can't beleive you're gonna dump her. :Q

 

python023

Senior member
Dec 17, 2004
226
0
0
Originally posted by: Vonkhan
Originally posted by: lasergecko
Vonkhan , So what did you decide to do?

I'll wait till the first week of Jan & tell her that altho I love her, but I've changed & I just don't see a future for "us"


Sounds like you've got it right - if you dont feel like you want her dont waste your time, there are always more fish in the sea (pardon the cliché line). However she is rather goodlooking for an ATer. ;)