How selfish am I if I say I don't want to change shifts? Update: I said no

[Looney]

Originally posted by: Lord Evermore
Oy, I probably should have included this part of the email:

I am emailing you instead of calling because I didn?t want to put you on the spot. Think about it and let me know what your feelings are. If it is something you are not interested in doing at this time I will respect your wishes.

That makes it sound like he won't mind if I say no, but at the same time, I get the feeling that it's "respect your wishes but only because we have to, and we'll remember it next time you need something".

Wow, i think you're making WAY too much out that. If anything, that little blurb tells me he's NOT trying to pressure you.

 

[gotsmack]

Originally posted by: Lord Evermore
I think pretty much everybody knows I don't have any social life, no family, et cetera, and I'm incapable of fibbing in this situation. I don't have any specific need to be on any particular shift, I just greatly prefer this shift, and I'd be unhappy on first shift. Frankly it removes one of the major reasons that I enjoy the job; having to do the same job on first shift becomes a negative experience.

As for promotions, I'm not really looking for it at this time. I'm happy where I am. I know I'd need to work first shift for a while before being promoted, but the only promotions would be into second level support, which at this point I'm not interested in.

When it comes down to it, if I wasn't a pansy, I'd be looking for a new job anyway; this isn't a bad job exactly, it's just not a good fit for me in the long term.

1. You don't have to lie, just say you have personal things to attend to during the day (beating it like it owes you money counts). If they ask what, just way it is personal and you don't feel comfortable discussing it.

2. If you don't plan on being there long term, who cares if you piss them off.

3. if you want to make yourself look good say "I would love to help, but because this is such a drastic change in my schedule and pay I will need ***************". Don't just make it an extra $2 an hour, make it $2.50. Then ask for stuff that you really want but don't expect to get, all items must be in your boss's power to give you. Only list 2 or 3 other things so you don't seem too greedy, and say that they will have to agree to atleast 2/3 or 3/4 of these requests before you would be able to change shifts.

4. Offer to take over his shift as well as your current shift for XX weeks while he takes off to sort through his problems.

5. Don't agree to change shifts for XX weeks because you might end up stuck on 1st shift.

 

[The Batt?sai]

good job for saying no. i deal with alot of stuff on my job too, people being highly insultive/etc. i just tell their boss and it gets taken care of. i don't care if they get mad, being my boss they should be more professional. i don't go out of my way to insult anyone at my job. i'm just interested in going to work, doing the job, and going home.

 

[Lord Evermore]

HIs reply. Doesn't seem good or bad.

Thanks for considering it. I understand both your dilemma and your
decision. Like I mentioned before- I will respect your wishes.

 

[dabuddha]

Originally posted by: waggy

Originally posted by: Lord Evermore
Well I committed myself, I replied and said no. I know I was probably a bit too simpering about it and probably should not have said it in quite the way I did, but it's just in my nature.

I've been agonizing over this for the 2 hours since I read it, because I
have a very hard time saying no. You know I'm always willing to help
out, but switching shifts is more than I'd want to do right now. If it
were temporary, then I'd consider it depending on how long. Working at
night is simply better for me physically and psychologically, and I
don't think I'd be very happy long-term on the day shift. I know John
isn't all that happy with the shift either, but he did make the decision
to move up to it.

It pains me terribly to refuse anything, and I don't want to create a
bind for the company or my co-workers, but my preference is to stay
where I am.

wow grow a backbone and a set of balls.

if you mailed that ot me i wouldnt fire you but i would be damned if you werent the first to go when i had to fire someone.

Actually his response was very good. It doesn't make him out to be an asshole which will help him out in the long run.

 

[Pepsei]

Originally posted by: spidey07

Originally posted by: DaiShan
Ok, here is what you say:

Mr/Ms. <Boss's last name>,
I wanted to thank you for considering me first for switching to <shift>. I really would like to get more experience, however right now my schedule is such that I will have to decline this opportunity. I hope things work out for John, please let me know if there is anything that I can do to help beyond switching shifts.

Thanks and have a nice day.

<your name>

/edit this does a few things, 1) it doesn't obligate you to make up some story about why you can't change your schedule (like it would if you said "I have another obligation") You do not have to explain your reasons for wanting to keep your current schedule. 2) It shows that you are concerned about your co-workers, and that you would like to help, but as you are a victim of circumstance (your current schedule) you are unable to help directly, but you are happy to assist in any other way. 3) Have a nice day - people eat that crap up. In my past two jobs I began my employment by only ending my emails in -<my name> and I found that people were a little stand-offish. When I started putting "Have a nice day" or "have a great day" at the end of my emails, people started thinking that I actually meant it. My boss would even come into my office just to talk about tv-shows, what we did this weekend etc, prior to this she strictly enforced no personal discussion on company time. Yeah you die a little bit inside each time you say it, but if they give you a pay raise every time you quit (see the other thread heh) it's worth it.

ohhh, you are learning the game very well.

nice post.

yes, pure gold, i need to start doing that for my office memos.

 

[Drakkon]

Originally posted by: waggy

Originally posted by: Lord Evermore
Well I committed myself, I replied and said no. I know I was probably a bit too simpering about it and probably should not have said it in quite the way I did, but it's just in my nature.

I've been agonizing over this for the 2 hours since I read it, because I
have a very hard time saying no. You know I'm always willing to help
out, but switching shifts is more than I'd want to do right now. If it
were temporary, then I'd consider it depending on how long. Working at
night is simply better for me physically and psychologically, and I
don't think I'd be very happy long-term on the day shift. I know John
isn't all that happy with the shift either, but he did make the decision
to move up to it.

It pains me terribly to refuse anything, and I don't want to create a
bind for the company or my co-workers, but my preference is to stay
where I am.

wow grow a backbone and a set of balls.

if you mailed that ot me i wouldnt fire you but i would be damned if you werent the first to go when i had to fire someone.

i gotta agree with waggy on this one. DAiShan had a great responce, yours totally lacks any sense of sureness. using words like agonize and pains and psychologically tells me that your an unstable person and if your boss didnt realize it already now he does. What it tells me is that if i were to pressure you a bit harder or needed something crazy in the future i could easily break you since sounds like your already on a ledge anyways.

 

[DaShen]

It would have been better if you said you could do it temporarily and that you would need an exact estimate of how long it would be to come to a decision.

If your boss wanted to do it for long term, that would be a polite way of saying for him to back off.

 

[Patt]

Kudos for standing up for yourself. As for the responses bashing you for how it was done ... as long as you were honest and forthright, which is sounds like you were, that is all that matters.

 

[Stuxnet]

Originally posted by: 91TTZ
Do not do anything that's not beneficial to you. If the other employee has personal issues at home, they're just that- personal issues. His personal issues should not adversely affect your work life. If you like where you're at now, stay there.

I couldn't agree more. His problems should not be your problems. I don't read the letter from your boss as a strong-arm technique. I think he was just pointing out the possible benefits to you (even if they're imaginary ).

If this were me, I would simply tell him "Well, I wish I could help out John with his problems, but part of the reason I accepted this position was because of the hours and the compensation. I have other duties to perform during the week so my schedule does not permit such a change at this time. Please tell John to stop being a whiney douchebag and maybe people will be more flexible."

Okay, I'd leave the last part out, but the fact is that none of this is your problem.

Case closed and good luck.

 

[Stuxnet]

Originally posted by: spidey07

Originally posted by: tfinch2

Originally posted by: spidey07

Originally posted by: TitanDiddly
Tell him that you have trouble adapting to a different sleep schedule and it would cause some very serious impact on your personal life if you had to make the change.

Fair enough.

My response would then be "do you value your position here, because we all have to make sacrifices. your statement tells me a lot about where your priorities are"

Then John should make some sacrifices, starting with his personal issues at home.

John has already applied/approved for FMLA and we are accomodating him. Are you a team player? Because this conversation is leading me to believe you are not.

I really wanted to make this easy for all of us but unfortunately know because of your resistance and attitude I have to get HR involved.

To which I'd say:

"Then instead of bullsh*tting me for 5 emails and 2 sit-downs, why didn't you just tell me this was mandatory in the first place, rather than taking a gamble on not having to look like a dumbsh*t boss who's afraid of John?"

 

[Stuxnet]

Originally posted by: waggy

Originally posted by: Lord Evermore
Well I committed myself, I replied and said no. I know I was probably a bit too simpering about it and probably should not have said it in quite the way I did, but it's just in my nature.

I've been agonizing over this for the 2 hours since I read it, because I
have a very hard time saying no. You know I'm always willing to help
out, but switching shifts is more than I'd want to do right now. If it
were temporary, then I'd consider it depending on how long. Working at
night is simply better for me physically and psychologically, and I
don't think I'd be very happy long-term on the day shift. I know John
isn't all that happy with the shift either, but he did make the decision
to move up to it.

It pains me terribly to refuse anything, and I don't want to create a
bind for the company or my co-workers, but my preference is to stay
where I am.

wow grow a backbone and a set of balls.

if you mailed that ot me i wouldnt fire you but i would be damned if you werent the first to go when i had to fire someone.

Not me. I'd read that (given his otherwise very cooperative record) as someone who's simply been pushed to their limits. Bosses have a tendancy to subconciously mark the employees that are easy to "manipulate", for lack of a better word. It actually sounds like the OP was tagged and is simply tired of it. I'd read that as "well, he's helped me out a lot in the past... no reason to hold this against him."

 

[Stuxnet]

Originally posted by: DaShen
It would have been better if you said you could do it temporarily and that you would need an exact estimate of how long it would be to come to a decision.

If your boss wanted to do it for long term, that would be a polite way of saying for him to back off.

I disagree, as I've been in the position before. Even if they commit to a date, it will easily be "forgetten". It will then be on the OP's shoulders to constantly nag to get his old shift back.

Not a good move IMO.

 

[daveymark]

Originally posted by: jbourne77

Originally posted by: spidey07

Originally posted by: tfinch2

Originally posted by: spidey07

Originally posted by: TitanDiddly
Tell him that you have trouble adapting to a different sleep schedule and it would cause some very serious impact on your personal life if you had to make the change.

Fair enough.

My response would then be "do you value your position here, because we all have to make sacrifices. your statement tells me a lot about where your priorities are"

Then John should make some sacrifices, starting with his personal issues at home.

John has already applied/approved for FMLA and we are accomodating him. Are you a team player? Because this conversation is leading me to believe you are not.

I really wanted to make this easy for all of us but unfortunately know because of your resistance and attitude I have to get HR involved.

To which I'd say:

"Then instead of bullsh*tting me for 5 emails and 2 sit-downs, why didn't you just tell me this was mandatory in the first place, rather than taking a gamble on not having to look like a dumbsh*t boss who's afraid of John?"

this is why mindless jobs aren't worth doing. You get comfortable, then someone wants you to change, but if you stand up for yourself, you're afraid you'll get fired. You don't want to get fired becuase it's such an easy job.

find another job that has intrinsic rewards.

 

[eelw]

Bump for further updates

 

[bmacd]

nice response back to your boss OP. You handled it in a professional and tasteful manner.

-=bmacd=-

 

[dirtboy]

I can't believe all the people backing the company in this decision.

An employee comes and says, hey, I'm having family problems due to my shift -- no way to verify -- but please accomodate me by giving me whatever I want.

Many of you agree with that???

I don't think so. John choose to go days and his position was filled. As a manager, I'd tell John that I'd ask the OP if he was willing, but I will not force that change. It's not my problem John can't manage his home life and I'm not going to start catering to his whims. You give him this, you have opened yourself as a manager to change again.

So you fire the OP to cater to John. 3 weeks later John wants back on day shift. Now you have to fire or move someone else. As a manager, you just became ineffective. Not only that, but you're playing favorites, which is dumb.

I think the manager needs to get a backbone by standing up to John and I'm glad to see the OP said he's not willing to change.