How many of you have seriously contemplated suicide?

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nd

Golden Member
Oct 9, 1999
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The majority of people who attempt suicide are teenage females.

More females attempt it than males, though males are FAR more likely to succeed in killing themselves.

I'm sure you've heard this statistic before, but it's interesting. To make a very broad generalization, females are usually looking for attention and don't want to kill themselves (just want the attention, sympathy, etc.) -- whereas males are thinking more on the lines of: "screw this".
 

Mill

Lifer
Oct 10, 1999
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"I'm afraid of heights, but when I am up there I have to hold myself back from jumping off"

Yep me too. I have thought of suicide many times. I have taken Anti-depressants and other things before. I had been diagnosed with attention deficit disorder. I was put on ritalin. Unfortunately the ritalin made me extremely depressed and I had to go into the Hospital. A bad experience. I gave up on doctors at this point. I know that I have many symptoms of bipolar disorder, but I am tired of a diagnosis that is supposed to help you cope. Maybe I am just up and down a lot. I hate thinking about it, because it makes me embarrassed and depressed. Who knows? Life is weird isn't it. I sorta wonder if this has anything to do with my father's death about 10 years ago. It was a sudden death, so I wonder if this is possible after-affects.
 

Isla

Elite member
Sep 12, 2000
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nd

If I had been looking for attention, there would have been other ways for me to try.

I was in serious pain and crying out for help.

There is a difference.

edit: What happened to me when I was young is none of your business, but it would have been enough to send anyone over the edge.

Don't ever think a suicidal person is just looking for attention or sympathy. There is always more than the eye can see.
 

NakaNaka

Diamond Member
Aug 29, 2000
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nd it is just a statistic ...

My friend had to take ridilin cause she was ADD and then stopped taking them (even though the doctors still make her take it) and she feels a lot better. Thats not saying you should stop, just her case.
 

Isla

Elite member
Sep 12, 2000
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Millenium

Your father's sudden death may have everything to do with it. That is an incredibly painful thing to go through. Grief is a process, and depression is a big part of it. You grieve in stages, and sometimes we get stuck in one stage.

Elizabeth Kubler Ross has a book or two on the subject. PM me and I'll tell you more.

Peace
 

nd

Golden Member
Oct 9, 1999
1,690
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Isla,

Notice how I called it a "broad generalization". By no means did I say it meant everyone. Obviously, come on. I hate having to defend things I say a second time, especially when I was careful how I worded it. This is no offense to you personally, it just bothers me.


Also, if it were a "cry for help", then perhaps was it a look for attention after all? There's a fine line between the two -- in any event, crying for help is different from seriously wanting to end your life.
 

Isla

Elite member
Sep 12, 2000
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nd

Sorry, I missed the broad generalization disclaimer. ;)

I couldn't tell my parents what had happened to me. I was too ashamed.

 

nd

Golden Member
Oct 9, 1999
1,690
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Yeah, it's all very circumstantial. I don't know you personally.

On a more curious note, did anyone who tried get more creative than the typical overdose/slitting wrist?
 

Frenchie

Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
Oct 22, 1999
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I had a .22 in my mouth twice and my car aimed at a telephone pole once. I am glad that I didnt go through with any of the limited number of comtemplations.
 

db

Lifer
Dec 6, 1999
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When you have the gun out, and are running the process through your mind's eye, to the point of hearing the &quot;click&quot; of the firing pin just before everything goes dark...but then you don't b/c you don't want your daughter to grow up thinking her father was a coward...then you are scared sh!tless b/c of what you almost did, but are too embarrased to have your neighbor keep the gun for safe-keeping.
Some of you may think talk of suicide is bs, but you are the lucky ones, not knowing how utterly sh!tty and miserable some peoples' lives are every minute of every day of their lives.
You have no idea how that nasty comment you make to someone affects them.
 

Isla

Elite member
Sep 12, 2000
7,749
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db

You are in my prayers.

The joy of you daughter is worth every single moment of pain here.

 

Isla

Elite member
Sep 12, 2000
7,749
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btw

my profile is activated, and so is my pm. Don't ever hesitate to contact me or someone else if you ever feel that way again.
 

eia430

Senior member
Sep 7, 2000
369
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I contemplated suicide in the past. I actualy went on a &quot;preparation&quot; road trip to scout out possible exit points and say goodbye to friends one last time (no they did not know.) The main reason for that trip was to decide if that is what I really wanted and if there were no other recourses. Needless to say that I'm still here. I'm glad that I took the time to work everything in my head and see if that really was the best course of action. No I haven't tried, I imagine that my first try would be quite successful. It was not a cry for attention either since I kept it to myself. Suicide was just another alternative and as it turns out I've decided that it was not the BEST alternative. If anybody out there is thinking about suicide, I highly suggest you also take the time to think clearly, find yourself, and see if it REALLY is the best option.
 

Impact55

Platinum Member
Feb 16, 2000
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I haven't, but one of my close friends killed himself, and one of my moms best friend got out of her car on a highway and got hit by a semi-truck and is still alive! God does miracles,seriously. I'm kinda teary right now thinking 'bout my friend ;(
 

thraashman

Lifer
Apr 10, 2000
11,112
1,587
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I've always been kinda a socail outcast no matter what I did. It followed me ever since about 1st grade. And I don't think there was a day from 6th to 12th grade that I didn't wish I was dead or contemplate killing myself. I never could go through with it, the most I ever did was cut my wrist(never even deep enough to get the vein) and usually end up in my room crying by myself. I can't say much has changed in college, but I know I'll never kill myself as long as I still have willpower. I feel suicide is too easy of a way out, and I'd rather prove to everyone who ever made me feel bad that I'm better than them.
 

eia430

Senior member
Sep 7, 2000
369
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Thrashman, I don't know if this will help you, hopefuly it will at least make you feel a little better. Can you imagine being so desperate to go somewhere that you are willing to try to cross 95 miles of open ocean on an inner-tube? Can you imagine saving everything, every penny all your life so you can pay someone $35,000 to send your oldest son to be smuggled inside a rusty old ship that might not even stay afloat? When you feel bad just remember that you are already living somebody else's dream. That others out there are willing to do anything, pay anything just to be in your shoes. You have already won the ultimate lottery to millions of people just by being here in the United States. That alone is worth going on for.
 

reitz

Elite Member
Oct 11, 1999
3,878
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For anyone who might be contemplating it right now: I posted this thread anonymously back in July. I didn't even realize it then, but I was still suffering from depression's horrible grip. Even then, when my thinking wasn't even close to what I would now consider &quot;normal&quot;, I was able to recognize how fucked up I was at my worst.

Read that thread, and see what I and others have gone through. I can promise you that there is hope, that your life can change. It's been over a month since I've even thought about any of that; I believe that I am now living a &quot;normal&quot; life (though admittedly I really don't know for sure. I can only say that today I am truly happy). Please read through that, and believe for yourself that there is hope, that there really is more to life than that dark cloud you call existence. Don't make the mistake that I almost made and end it all; life is far too precious to snuff it out for such a treatable disease.
 

kru

Platinum Member
Oct 24, 1999
2,818
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there's a reason why Rush's &quot;The Pass&quot; is a song that i can really connect with.

two verses:

Someone set a bad example
Made surrender seem all right
The act of a noble warrior
Who lost the will to fight

No hero in your tragedy
No daring in your escape
No salutes for your surrender
Nothing noble in your fate
Christ, what have you done?


let's just say that until someone very close to me had attempted it herself, i had never considered suicide as an option.

i think suicidal thoughts among teenagers is far more common than will ever be documented. it's sad but there was one point where i didn't know anyone who hadn't at some point either attempted it themselves or had seriously thought about it.
 

reitz

Elite Member
Oct 11, 1999
3,878
2
76
kru, I would bet my life that every single person here, whether he realizes it or not, knows someone who has seriously considered it.
 

eia430

Senior member
Sep 7, 2000
369
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0
reitz, a bit more than just know someone else that contemplated it. My best friend Chris, back in 97 actualy did it. Thursday I helped him fix an exhaust leak on his jeep. Monday his roomate found him, I get a call at work and I have to be the one to break the news to his family. The really sad thing about it was what it was over. A soulless girl that gets her kicks of feeling important by having two people fight over her bounced between Chris and his younger brother. There are genuinely evil people out there.
 

AngelOfDeath

Golden Member
Apr 25, 2000
1,203
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The thought might have croosed my mind. Mostly because of a lost GF, but I never even tried or pretended to try or what I should say. I love life to much to let my live out in the toilet-drain.

'Carpe Diem' my friends :)

AoD ;)

[Edit]Don't misunderstand me I know about this. My x-GF tried suicide twice when she was hospitalized in the mental hospital. It took hard on her and I tried to be there as much as I could to help her. She was the one to break up after 5½ years which was really hard for me to comprehend but I tried to help her the best that I could. She is out now been that for 1½ year I think and is starting from scratch trying to find out who she is and what she is. She had no childhood so she has a long way before she's a hole person. I wish her the best of luck my first and greatest love.[/EDIT]