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How many dates before $ex?
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Rill22
Senior member
I'm not claiming to be better or worse than anyone. I'm just claiming to have a different opinion.
Okay, so I go on a date, and have a great time, feel great chemistry ... is it difficult to believe that perhaps as much as I like someone, maybe I don't want to have sex with them after one evening? I could totally fall head over heels for someone, but that doesn't change the fact that I would rather there be a progression to sex instead of just diving into it after one night.
Look, it's just my preference. I don't have a problem with any of you screwing after the first date if you both want to. I don't give a sh!t, have at it. It's just not something I'm going to partake in after one evening.
There are different types of sex though. Not everything is making love. There are other facets to enjoy.
Maybe you haven't experienced the dead fish, but let me tell you, it's much better to find out soon and move on than invest time in such a waste of a woman. Not everyone is sexually compatible and you might as well find out real quick.
I've heard that from people. However, my experience has been: no one is born great at sex and sex is different with each partner. Everyone can learn to be great in bed with patience, communication and practice. 🙂
Perhaps the 'dead fish' applies for guys that just don't care enough about their partner to communicate and try to improve the experience?
Or... maybe I've just been lucky? Somehow I doubt that since my luck doesn't tend to be very good in other aspects of my life.
No, I just see his name and I know the sh!t is going to hit the fan. Good thing it's an old thread.
The post was hardly made to be elitest. If anything it's meant to combat the moral elitists who always crowd in on a topic like this.
Also, don't attempt to intentionally polarize my post by cherry picking the christian remarks in my post and using them to pigeonhole my opinion.
To be honest I've only had a couple girls who lasted over 3-4 "dates" without sex. I'm now in my mid 20s, so when I was heavily dating I wasn't out there looking for the love of my life. I was out there looking to have a good time, and if something became of the relationship then so be it. So I really had no intention of sitting around waiting for these girsl to make up her mind if I was good enough to give it up to and have fun, in and out of the bedroom. A HUGE part of a young person's relationship is sex, why deny that just to live up to a standard that you were completely socially conditioned to believe in? Now who in their right mind goes out into the world in search of their one true love? Can it get any more cliche than that? That may happen in magical candy land and hollywood movies, but let's come back down to earth for a minute.
As for having sex early in a relationship being part of what is wrong with the world today, all I can say is that you must have a very limited world view if you believe that. There is more to the world than America, and their sexual habits have been more liberal than ours for a very long time. Part of the problem is that our puritanical roots here in America lead you to believe that sex is wrong. Hundreds of years on this continent and we STILL can't shake our fear of one of the most basic functions of life.
If anything the past 50 years have ushered in free will without fear of being pubically chastised. Historically the person who took the brunt of the sh!t slinging. They are still taking it to this day.
Babbles
Diamond Member
Was this post supposed to be the elitist one instead? You come off as some steretoypical know it all 20-something and with your narrow opinion it is interesting that you would say that somebody else has a "very limited world view."
To follow your mode of logic, there is more to the world than your opinion.
No it wasn't meant to be elitest either. It's my opnion and my personal experience, if you don't like it or can't deal with it, tough sh!t. My view is hardly narrow, I can fully understand someone making the personal decision to wait on having sex. Though for that same person to pass judgement on others who do not make the same decision is truely narrow minded.
Mabey you should read the post and refute some of the content, instead of jumping in for a personal attack. Is that too much to ask?
You come off as some stereotypical know-it-all condescending 30-something who thinks they have matured vastly beyond their counterparts. With your ability to completely ignore any truths someone's opinion has, I am surprised you're so quick to jump to judgement.
And yes, of course there is more to the world than my opinion, that goes without saying. No where did I claim that my opinion is the rule of the world. I don't care if someone agrees with me or not. Though I don't agree with people passing completely negative judgement on others who choose a different path of sexuality. Like claming that having sex is whats wrong with the world, or that having sex early in a relationship is disgusting. Completely ridiculous. If you look at sexual habits around the world you will see that America is very conservative when it comes to sex. That is why I said his world view is very limited. The world doesn't revolve around America, there are billions of other people out there, partaking in many different sexual activites at various ages. Bottom line is that America has a very puritanical view on sex, and you really cannot refute that.
Is your post supposed to be some profound discovery of my opinionated nature, or my shortcomings?
I will say that I plan to wait until marriage before I have sex. I don't expect anyone else to accept my ideals, and I'm certainly not going to criticize yours. Some of my reasons are practical - the fact is, a condom will not protect you (at least not guaranteed) from all of the STDs out there, and despite every precaution, you could still end up getting a girl pregnant. I am not ready to take on the responsibility of a child right now, so I choose to wait.
Having said that, I have a question for those of you who say you would like to find out how a girl is in bed before you get seriously involved with her - do you think it is absolutely necessary to have sex with a girl to know if she would be a "dead fish" in bed, as you put it? Here is what I mean - I had a gf once whom I did not have sex with, but came pretty damn close. I would say we had great chemistry, and if we had had sex, the odds of her being a "dead fish" in bed would be slim to none. Yet both of us were virgins at the time. I guess what I'm saying is, is it possible to experience great chemistry with everything else leading up to sex, but then the sex itself is terrible? That just seems unlikely to me based on my experiences, but that's why I'm asking you.
Having said that, I have a question for those of you who say you would like to find out how a girl is in bed before you get seriously involved with her - do you think it is absolutely necessary to have sex with a girl to know if she would be a "dead fish" in bed, as you put it? Here is what I mean - I had a gf once whom I did not have sex with, but came pretty damn close. I would say we had great chemistry, and if we had had sex, the odds of her being a "dead fish" in bed would be slim to none. Yet both of us were virgins at the time. I guess what I'm saying is, is it possible to experience great chemistry with everything else leading up to sex, but then the sex itself is terrible? That just seems unlikely to me based on my experiences, but that's why I'm asking you.
Yes, I've had pretty good foreplay but terrible sex. She said stupid things, moved odd, was selfish, and didn't have a clue how to please a man.
As for STD's, just check her butt. If it has freckles then don't tap that. 😀 If you get her pregnant, you can either get an abortion or set it up for adoption. Condoms are 99.9% reliable though.
iwearnosox
Lifer
I concur. Three or I'm out. My last one was on the first date, it was great until I found out about the finace she had. lol.
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