How many dates before $ex?

[Don Vito Corleone]

Originally posted by: djheater

Originally posted by: DonVito

Originally posted by: JLGatsby

I hope you filthy people get tested for disease.

I would say at minimum 3 or 4 months, not dates.

If a girl tried to get in my pants on the 3rd date I would dump her ass. Why? Think of how many dudes she's slept with. Disgusting.

In all fairness, I doubt you'd disagree that you're a bit of a strange ranger.

I used to feel like you do, but over the years it's become clear to me that women with experience, women who are themselves sexually charged, are about 100 times more fun to date than women who are willing to wait 3 or 4 months for sex. No woman who has an appropriate sex drive is going to want to wait that long. If I'm going to wait 3 months to sleep with a woman, I might as well haul off and become a Quaker.

Whoa, whoa.. you're intelligent enough to realize that a guy whose 2nd date consists of watching the NFC Championship game... and she had a great time... is probably not dating the same women that you are.
Your standards, that are likely to be shared by the women you're dating, almost certainly don't apply to this guy.

That being said, OP, sounds like she'll let you know when she's interested, and there's no accepted standard.

I don't really understand your post. I have left the nested quotes in to show what I was responding to - JLGatsby was being a goofball as usual.

I think an NFC championship game is a perfectly OK second date. I doubt very much that the effete JLGatsby would have agreed.

 

[Babbles]

Originally posted by: Rill22
I'm pretty taken aback by some of these answers. As a 23 year old girl, I would never have sex on the 2nd date. I am not arguing that other girls who do are slutty, because yeah, it is different for everyone, but 2 or 3 dates just seems so rushed. Like you're trying to get something over with.

It's pretty disheartening to read all these posts with guys saying, "3 dates or she's gone. Put out or get out." Nice to know you have your priorities straight. Of course this is a generalization, and many relationships have been very successful after having sex early, but it is just simply not something I would do within the first week. Some of you guys are saying it's ridiculous to wait longer than that; I think it's ridiculous NOT to wait longer than that.

Whatever floats your boat though, I guess. If I was dumped after a week for no sex, then that's probably not the person I should be with anyways.

And to think many ATOT guys here probably still think they know more about what girls want than you!

Originally posted by: DonVito

Originally posted by: DavemanUT
I've only had sex with virgins. It results in waiting 1-2 months before the action takes place... but is well worth the fit in the end.

To me that means, almost by definition, bad sex. The sex I've had with experienced women has always been worlds better than with women with very few partners (though I can't say I've ever actually had a virgin, nor do I think I ever will).

In regards to something or another about virgins as opposed to 'older' (very relative term) women, I have found that the older I get the better the sex is. I am now 28 and in the past couple of years I have had sex with people ranging from 22 to 35. Without a doubt the girls who were over 30, or right around there (28 and 29), were so mind blowingily better than their younger counterparts.

When I was a kid, sex feel great because . . . well it was sex! At some points in my younger age just finding a warm moist place was good enough. Now besides just feeling good, sex with the 30 year old crowd it is just indescribable.

 

[GTaudiophile]

Originally posted by: DonVito

Originally posted by: GTaudiophile

Originally posted by: spidey07
anything longer than 3 dates is ridiculous.

What if she's bad in bed? Then you've wasted time.

It's the accepted norm. The 3rd date rule.

According to whom? Sounds like news to me.

Jeebus. Like women are worth norhing if not for sex.

I think your point is well-taken, but I don't really see this as mercenary (the verb, not the noun) behavior. Sex is an important part of a relationship, and the heat is either there or it isn't. In my experience, a relationship which goes past a few dates without sexual interaction is a friendship, not a romantic relationship, and I think just as few women want to wait 6 months as men.

That being said, I appreciate what you were trying to achieve in your own relationship, though I don't share your philosophy toward dating.

Stop. Hold the presses. Perhaps we should define sex?

My GF and I met while both on business in Boston. Her booth was next to mine. After our first full day there, my boss and I invited her to join us for dinner and the theatre. The night ended with her giving me a kiss on the lips in the elevator. The next night my boss and I headed out to dinner with Boston-based colleagues, and she went out to dinner with friends. She said she would call me when she got back to the hotel so we could meet up. I got home from dinner at like 9:30 PM, changed into my PJs, and didn't expect to hear from her for another 3 hours or so. Wrong. No more than 5 minutes later, she calls to tell me she's in the lobby and that she came back to the hotel early to spend time with me. I change, go downstairs, meet her, and we find a nice table in the corner of the lobby bar. What happens next is like 45 minutes of solid public necking, the steamiest and most passionate kissing in my life to that point. There was immediate romance and sexual energy. We knew that from the get-go. But we didn't have sex until some 6 months later. We knew the sexual chemistry was there because of that night...perhaps before we knew anything else.

 

[Pepsei]

Yes, I remember her...

Do you think you could've went all the way if you or she wanted to? and would that change anything?

 

[crownjules]

Originally posted by: Accipiter22

I'm agreeing with JL on this one.....and we wonder why our society is shitting the bed. If you want a RELATIONSHIP with someone, you don't stick it in them on the 3rd date....i mean ******, think of your longest relationship, and what you knew about them say several months in...compare that to what you knew about them after a couple weeks....UGH. Disgusting.

Our society is shitting the bed because people are rushing into sex in relationships after a couple of dates? Buddy, you need to get off the crack rocks.

OP - I've been in relationships where we jumped right into sex and it was wonderful, while others we waited for a month or two. It's totally dependent on each individual and their outlook on life. I think a big part of what makes your mind up is religion, because almost every religion, for some reason that I can not comprehend, stipulates that sex should be reserved until marriage.

I don't know about you, but I'm a human being, and as such I have this bodily function that when I engage in a certain act it releases chemicals and stimuli into my system in a way that no other act can replicate. That's good in and of itself and I'll take it at any opportunity, rather than hold it up on some holy pedestal that says I should deny my desires and wants. And when someone comes along who is special, like I currently have, it magnifies the act hundreds of times with the depth of feeling and emotion you then experience.


PS - Virgins suck, I don't understand the infatuation some men have with them. No experience, nervous as hell, and it usually hurts for them the first time. I'll take me an experienced woman please.

 

[GTaudiophile]

Originally posted by: Pepsei
Yes, I remember her...

Do you think you could've went all the way if you or she wanted to? and would that change anything?

Are you asking me?

 

[Pepsei]

Originally posted by: GTaudiophile

Originally posted by: Pepsei
Yes, I remember her...

Do you think you could've went all the way if you or she wanted to? and would that change anything?

Are you asking me?

sorry, yes... i'm asking you... i remember that thread from the very beginning. it appeared from the very beginning you had a strong connection and attraction with her.

 

[desiplaya4life]

Originally posted by: frankgomez75
1 if you have skills 🙂
or if she's a slut... :Q

Seriously... if she puts out on the first date odds are she is a little freaky...

odd are.. no more like 100% that if she puts out on first date, she is not a relationship material.


i dont wait, i dont play, i let it happen naturally. if you wanna wait, let them know so they know how you are feeling and have a genuine connection/bond.

 

[GTaudiophile]

Originally posted by: Pepsei

Originally posted by: GTaudiophile

Originally posted by: Pepsei
Yes, I remember her...

Do you think you could've went all the way if you or she wanted to? and would that change anything?

Are you asking me?

sorry, yes... i'm asking you... i remember that thread from the very beginning. it appeared from the very beginning you had a strong connection and attraction with her.

Cool that you remember. That thread is archived here somewhere. Can't find it at the moment.

Well, I won't go into the specifics about what happened afterwards...but she would have never had sex on the first date. She had her "fun" and left my room around 3:00 AM. But our clothes never came off.

 

[DannyLove]

I didn't bother to read this entire thread nor your post, because the answer is easy.

3

Three-strikes, and you're out. Anything more and she will have you by the balls.

danny~!

 

[astrocase]

Depends on the chemistry. First date for all my girlfriends. Not the first day I met them though. Subtle difference.

 

[desiplaya4life]

Originally posted by: astrocase
Depends on the chemistry. First date for all my girlfriends. Not the first day I met them though. Subtle difference.

thats true also.


but when i look for a serious relationship I WAIT. i dont let is slide on the first dates. i been there and done that and the magic is soon lost for me shortly afterwards.. cuz i know .. well i got them in control.

i like a challenge personally. thats what really interests me in a woman.


sex to me is not everything. i might add.

 

[AMDZen]

Originally posted by: Rill22
I'm pretty taken aback by some of these answers. As a 23 year old girl, I would never have sex on the 2nd date. I am not arguing that other girls who do are slutty, because yeah, it is different for everyone, but 2 or 3 dates just seems so rushed. Like you're trying to get something over with.

It's pretty disheartening to read all these posts with guys saying, "3 dates or she's gone. Put out or get out." Nice to know you have your priorities straight. Of course this is a generalization, and many relationships have been very successful after having sex early, but it is just simply not something I would do within the first week. Some of you guys are saying it's ridiculous to wait longer than that; I think it's ridiculous NOT to wait longer than that.

Whatever floats your boat though, I guess. If I was dumped after a week for no sex, then that's probably not the person I should be with anyways.

:thumbsup:

I think a lot of the people around here are just full of ******, or too young to care about anything in a relationship other then sex.

DonVito is the kind of guy that will never have a meaningful relationship. Sure, he gets laid all the time and gets it after 1, 2, or 3 dates - but I can see he is also the type of person who will only have gf's and thinks he doesn't care. Then he is 50, alone, old and no longer looking attractive to women. Yep

 

[Pepsei]

Originally posted by: GTaudiophile
Cool that you remember. That thread is archived here somewhere. Can't find it at the moment.

Well, I won't go into the specifics about what happened afterwards...but she would have never had sex on the first date. She had her "fun" and left my room around 3:00 AM. But our clothes never came off.

I'm always interested in good and well written experience like yours. It's a refreshing change from all the high school "romance" we see here all the time.

:thumbsup:

 

[astrocase]

Originally posted by: JLGatsby

Originally posted by: Eghck

Originally posted by: toekramp
3 dates or so

yeah I would say 3 or 4 as well, of course there are exceptions...

I hope you filthy people get tested for disease.

I would say at minimum 3 or 4 months, not dates.

If a girl tried to get in my pants on the 3rd date I would dump her ass. Why? Think of how many dudes she's slept with. Disgusting.

That's not realistic at all. She'll think you're gay or not interested. Women want a confident and aggressive guy. They don't want a guy who weeps when he's gettinga BJ.

You sound really young though. Don't worry about it. Your attitude will change when you get older and have some experience.

 

[djheater]

Originally posted by: DonVito

Originally posted by: djheater

Originally posted by: DonVito

Originally posted by: JLGatsby

I hope you filthy people get tested for disease.

I would say at minimum 3 or 4 months, not dates.

If a girl tried to get in my pants on the 3rd date I would dump her ass. Why? Think of how many dudes she's slept with. Disgusting.

In all fairness, I doubt you'd disagree that you're a bit of a strange ranger.

I used to feel like you do, but over the years it's become clear to me that women with experience, women who are themselves sexually charged, are about 100 times more fun to date than women who are willing to wait 3 or 4 months for sex. No woman who has an appropriate sex drive is going to want to wait that long. If I'm going to wait 3 months to sleep with a woman, I might as well haul off and become a Quaker.

Whoa, whoa.. you're intelligent enough to realize that a guy whose 2nd date consists of watching the NFC Championship game... and she had a great time... is probably not dating the same women that you are.
Your standards, that are likely to be shared by the women you're dating, almost certainly don't apply to this guy.

That being said, OP, sounds like she'll let you know when she's interested, and there's no accepted standard.

I don't really understand your post. I have left the nested quotes in to show what I was responding to - JLGatsby was being a goofball as usual.

I think an NFC championship game is a perfectly OK second date. I doubt very much that the effete JLGatsby would have agreed.

I'm obviously making a lot of assumptions, but as a 'presumably' successful lawyer, the women who likely circulate in your social circles are as you've described, "women with experience, women who are themselves sexually charged". There are a whole lot of socially conservative farm-girls out there who would likely slap you for that type of characterization.
Personally I haven't dated in many years, when I did, I had no problem waiting if I was otherwise interested in the girl. Sex is just sex, and since it's 'just sex' I can take it or leave it, as long as I do get to take it at some forseeable date.
For the record, I dated girls who put out after at the third date and I dated a girl who waited about five months I think, neither eventual relationship was either more or less meaningful because of this. It's about personal comfort IMHO.

 

[GTaudiophile]

Originally posted by: Pepsei

Originally posted by: GTaudiophile
Cool that you remember. That thread is archived here somewhere. Can't find it at the moment.

Well, I won't go into the specifics about what happened afterwards...but she would have never had sex on the first date. She had her "fun" and left my room around 3:00 AM. But our clothes never came off.

I'm always interested in good and well written experience like yours. It's a refreshing change from all the high school "romance" we see here all the time.

:thumbsup:

Found the original thread.

 

[DannyLove]

Rill22: The mentality around most guys is that, why waste the time?

Let me indulge you with one of my situations. I'm 25, and met this 23 year old girl NYE. We never had a date, nor went out because she had a bf, but I kept it cool and a "friend." Soon after she dumps the guy, she calls me, and we go out. 1st date, whatever, great conversations, we made out, etc. 2nd date, we went clubbing, more emotions came out, we made out some more, but held back. 3rd date, clubbing again, this time we fvcked. We both got what we wanted and that was it. We didn't go out as much after, and I got shafted after trying to be the "nice guy." I could have been an asshole, I could have simply never call her after the 3rd date, I should have done that, but instead I let myself get played at. Basically I wasted my time after it, now imagine if we didn't fvck? I would be wasting a lot more time trying to get her into bed and when I could be saving myself all that time and effort for something that wouldn't work out.....

in the dating world, 3 is my limit. and 2 has been my record. When you are young, this is what you should expect. Otherwise don't ask yourself "oh, why doesn't he call me"

Leykis 101 for the win baby.

danny~!

 

[SampSon]

Oh boy, JLGatsby is unbanned again. Just what we need, more asinine, elitest remarks from an incredibly inexperienced child. The only person to touch his privates is his doctor when checking for hernias.

As for sex, if it takes longer than 3 or 4 dates then it's getting too long. Unless you're some intensely fundamentalist christian who doesn't have sex until married, then anything longer than a few dates is too long. I've had sex before I've dated someone, many times on the first date, and always within a week. Waiting any longer than that defeats the whole purpose.
I'm not here to marry you, I'm here to have fun. If you want something other than that, go hook up with someone at a christian summer camp.

The whole world doesn't go out and date to find their life-long partner, and live happily-ever-after. That is just a ridiculous unrealistic ideal shoved in your face by a multitude of sources. Many people go out to find a partner to have some fun and have some sex, and if you happen to click well then you have a significant other. Who goes out to a bar or other young person's social type event expecting to find their life-long spouce?

When you try and date someone there is usually strong physical attraction there. Holding that back and waiting for "the right time" is just denying exactly what you really want, sex. I can't believe people attempt to be so naive (or come off as such) as to think that sex isnt' a large part of a relationship, or that having sex early in the relationship will make much of a difference to the overall outcome (unless the sex really sucks). I've had great relationships with women I had sex with in the first week of dating. So the people saying women who have sex on the first date or within a week are not relationship material are full of sh!t.

 

[AMDZen]

Originally posted by: SampSon
Oh boy, JLGatsby is unbanned again.

I see you were paying little attention to the dates he posted.

Just what we need, more asinine, elitest remarks

Funny since this is exactly how I feel about your post.

You have to be christian to wait longer then 3 dates? And any girl you've dated more then 3 or 4 times is thrown out?

Don't get me wrong, I understand that this is the way it is for a lot of people. But I agree with Accipter - I think thats part of what is wrong with the world today.

 

[astrocase]

Originally posted by: GTaudiophile

Originally posted by: DonVito

Originally posted by: GTaudiophile

Originally posted by: spidey07
anything longer than 3 dates is ridiculous.

What if she's bad in bed? Then you've wasted time.

It's the accepted norm. The 3rd date rule.

According to whom? Sounds like news to me.

Jeebus. Like women are worth norhing if not for sex.

I think your point is well-taken, but I don't really see this as mercenary (the verb, not the noun) behavior. Sex is an important part of a relationship, and the heat is either there or it isn't. In my experience, a relationship which goes past a few dates without sexual interaction is a friendship, not a romantic relationship, and I think just as few women want to wait 6 months as men.

That being said, I appreciate what you were trying to achieve in your own relationship, though I don't share your philosophy toward dating.

Stop. Hold the presses. Perhaps we should define sex?

My GF and I met while both on business in Boston. Her booth was next to mine. After our first full day there, my boss and I invited her to join us for dinner and the theatre. The night ended with her giving me a kiss on the lips in the elevator. The next night my boss and I headed out to dinner with Boston-based colleagues, and she went out to dinner with friends. She said she would call me when she got back to the hotel so we could meet up. I got home from dinner at like 9:30 PM, changed into my PJs, and didn't expect to hear from her for another 3 hours or so. Wrong. No more than 5 minutes later, she calls to tell me she's in the lobby and that she came back to the hotel early to spend time with me. I change, go downstairs, meet her, and we find a nice table in the corner of the lobby bar. What happens next is like 45 minutes of solid public necking, the steamiest and most passionate kissing in my life to that point. There was immediate romance and sexual energy. We knew that from the get-go. But we didn't have sex until some 6 months later. We knew the sexual chemistry was there because of that night...perhaps before we knew anything else.

So what you're saying is you waited 6 months for no good reason?

 

[Rill22]

Originally posted by: DannyLove
Rill22: The mentality around most guys is that, why waste the time?

Let me indulge you with one of my situations. I'm 25, and met this 23 year old girl NYE. We never had a date, nor went out because she had a bf, but I kept it cool and a "friend." Soon after she dumps the guy, she calls me, and we go out. 1st date, whatever, great conversations, we made out, etc. 2nd date, we went clubbing, more emotions came out, we made out some more, but held back. 3rd date, clubbing again, this time we fvcked. We both got what we wanted and that was it. We didn't go out as much after, and I got shafted after trying to be the "nice guy." I could have been an asshole, I could have simply never call her after the 3rd date, I should have done that, but instead I let myself get played at. Basically I wasted my time after it, now imagine if we didn't fvck? I would be wasting a lot more time trying to get her into bed and when I could be saving myself all that time and effort for something that wouldn't work out.....

in the dating world, 3 is my limit. and 2 has been my record. When you are young, this is what you should expect. Otherwise don't ask yourself "oh, why doesn't he call me"

Leykis 101 for the win baby.

danny~!

Why is it considered time wasted? I fully enjoy each and every sexual experience I have leading up to sex; I don't consider that time wasted.

I'm not a moron. I fully realize that some people are okay with having sex that soon. I'm saying that I - personally - am not. You are obviously not the type of person that I have any desire to date, nor do you have any desire to date me, because my pants aren't coming off after 2 dates. I get it people; it is all preference, it is all situational, and these generalizations I have made can change. But to say that when you are young, this is what you should expect? No way.

I look forward to some of you guys having daughters, and then sitting down with them to tell them about the birds and the bees, and being sure to make sure they understand the 3rd date rule.

 

[AMDZen]

Originally posted by: Rill22
I look forward to some of you guys having daughters, and then sitting down with them to tell them about the birds and the bees, and being sure to make sure they understand the 3rd date rule.

Thats hilarious because I was thinking the same thing.

 

[astrocase]

Rill22....forget this "rule". I think that's bullshit. However, reality is you should be comfortable enough with your sexuality to have sex if you're attracted to someone and things are going great. Why wait? If you went on a date and hit it off and you suddenly put the brakes on just because it's "too soon", then you're no better then the guys making these arbitrary "3 date" rules.

 

[TomKazansky]

Hm, I wonder how many dates you need to get an 18 yr oldvVirgin to drop her pants.

p.s. i'm also 18.