How many dates before $ex?

[49erinnc]

I'm a 33 year old male who has been married for several years but 9 months into a separation. I've been dating but only recently found someone I genuinely like.

Since I've been out of the dating loop for awhile, I'm just curious how many dates is the norm before $ex is either expected or acceptable? This is assuming that both parties really like each other, good chemistry and neither person has a history of sleeping around/having casual $ex.

Kind of looking for feedback that applies to the 26-35 year old age group. I tend to be old fashioned at times when it comes to dating so I don't want to reach a point where I'm the one creating the holdup but I don't want to push her away from being too aggressive too soon either.

Thoughts? And no, I don't have any pics of her (yet).

 

[DaShen]

No Ring, No Ding-a-Ling...

 

[toekramp]

3 dates or so

 

[Skunkwourk]

Originally posted by: toekramp
3 dates or so

yeah I would say 3 or 4 as well, of course there are exceptions...

 

[frankgomez75]

1 if you have skills
or if she's a slut... :Q

Seriously... if she puts out on the first date odds are she is a little freaky...

 

[ggnl]

As many times as it takes for you and her to get comfortable. I don't think there's a magic number. Some women want want to do it on the second date, while other women might want to wait a month.

 

[Syrch]

I waited 2 months....

 

[J Heartless Slick]

How many dates really depends on how well things are going.
I usually go by her signals. Does she sit close? How does she react when you touch her? Does she touch you?

Of course, there is always alcohol. A couple of bottles of wine, or whatever she drinks, in a room with subdued light and music.

 

[spidey07]

3rd date rule.

live it, love it, learn it.

 

[darkxshade]

have sex before the 1st date and get all the awkward stuff out of the way. :thumbsup:

 

[Cable God]

Originally posted by: 49erinnc
I'm a 33 year old male who has been married for several years but 9 months into a separation. I've been dating but only recently found someone I genuinely like.

Since I've been out of the dating loop for awhile, I'm just curious how many dates is the norm before $ex is either expected or acceptable? This is assuming that both parties really like each other, good chemistry and neither person has a history of sleeping around/having casual $ex.

Kind of looking for feedback that applies to the 26-35 year old age group. I tend to be old fashioned at times when it comes to dating so I don't want to reach a point where I'm the one creating the holdup but I don't want to push her away from being too aggressive too soon either.

Thoughts? And no, I don't have any pics of her (yet).

There isn't any hard number (pun intended). When it's right, it'll happen. Stop worrying about it. Most guys (I am a guy) put too much weight on how long/how many dates it takes to get laid. It'll happen when it's right.

 

[Don Vito Corleone]

I am 35. I'd say I have gotten sex on the first date about 80% of the time, second date at least 10%. If it hasn't happened by the third date, there won't be any subsequent dates.

 

[JulesMaximus]

2 or 3 max.

 

[toekramp]

Originally posted by: DonVito
I am 35. I'd say I have gotten sex on the first date about 80% of the time, second date at least 10%. If it hasn't happened by the third date, there won't be any subsequent dates.

whore!

 

[49erinnc]

3 seems too soon. We've been out twice. First night was last Saturday and things went well. The night ended with a simple hug goodbye. We got together again the next day to watch the NFC Championship game. I walked her to her car, got another hug but she kissed me on the cheek while we were hugging. We then had a couple really nice, closed mouthed kisses for a few seconds. Was told the next day in an email that she had a great time and enjoyed the goodbye.

With that said, I think I would lose interest in her if she were open to $ex on the 3rd date. I want her to be a little more reluctant than that even if the desire is present. Guess you just know when the timing is right but I'm still concerned about waiting too long and having her think I'm not attracted to her or something is wrong with me. I've just been through some rough stuff so I'm not looking to rush into anything even though I'm very attracted to her.

 

[spidey07]

Originally posted by: 49erinnc
3 seems too soon. We've been out twice. First night was last Saturday and things went well. The night ended with a simple hug goodbye. We got together again the next day to watch the NFC Championship game. I walked her to her car, got another hug but she kissed me on the cheek while we were hugging. We then had a couple really nice, closed mouthed kisses for a few seconds. Was told the next day in an email that she had a great time and enjoyed the goodbye.

With that said, I think I would lose interest in her if she were open to $ex on the 3rd date. I want her to be a little more reluctant than that even if the desire is present. Guess you just know when the timing is right but I'm still concerned about waiting too long and having her think I'm not attracted to her or something is wrong with me. I've just been through some rough stuff so I'm not looking to rush into anything even though I'm very attracted to her.

well if you don't give it to her after 3 dates she may not date you any longer.

it's pretty well accepted that 3rd date = sex, otherwise you move on.

 

[49erinnc]

Originally posted by: DonVito
I am 35. I'd say I have gotten sex on the first date about 80% of the time, second date at least 10%. If it hasn't happened by the third date, there won't be any subsequent dates.

Every girl I've slept with on the first date has quickly become an ex to me. Not intentionally trying to do that but for some reason, I just can't seem to retain interest if she's that easy.

 

[nakedfrog]

Originally posted by: DonVito
I am 35. I'd say I have gotten sex on the first date about 80% of the time, second date at least 10%. If it hasn't happened by the third date, there won't be any subsequent dates.

We aren't all lawyers though

 

[Don Vito Corleone]

Originally posted by: 49erinnc

Originally posted by: DonVito
I am 35. I'd say I have gotten sex on the first date about 80% of the time, second date at least 10%. If it hasn't happened by the third date, there won't be any subsequent dates.

Every girl I've slept with on the first date has quickly become an ex to me. Not intentionally trying to do that but for some reason, I just can't seem to retain interest if she's that easy.

That was my feeling when I was very young, but I shed that many years ago. I can respect your opinion, but I don't share it.

 

[JLGatsby]

Originally posted by: Eghck

Originally posted by: toekramp
3 dates or so

yeah I would say 3 or 4 as well, of course there are exceptions...

I hope you filthy people get tested for disease.

I would say at minimum 3 or 4 months, not dates.

If a girl tried to get in my pants on the 3rd date I would dump her ass. Why? Think of how many dudes she's slept with. Disgusting.

 

[LeiZaK]

Originally posted by: darkxshade
have sex before the 1st date and get all the awkward stuff out of the way. :thumbsup:

That's what I do. If there isn't sex before the first date, there is no first date.

 

[49erinnc]

Originally posted by: spidey07

well if you don't give it to her after 3 dates she may not date you any longer.

it's pretty well accepted that 3rd date = sex, otherwise you move on.

Damn...I'm getting too old because 3 dates just seems really quick to me these days. Takes longer than that just to really get to know someone IMO.

 

[DougK62]

Only seeing a girl 3 or 4 times is just too early for me. It takes the fun out of it.

 

[Don Vito Corleone]

Originally posted by: spidey07

well if you don't give it to her after 3 dates she may not date you any longer.

it's pretty well accepted that 3rd date = sex, otherwise you move on.

Yeah, that's a funny dynamic. It's been my observation that women respect strength and assertiveness, and so at some point if men aren't adequately aggressive, they'll lose interest.

 

[Don Vito Corleone]

Originally posted by: JLGatsby

I hope you filthy people get tested for disease.

I would say at minimum 3 or 4 months, not dates.

If a girl tried to get in my pants on the 3rd date I would dump her ass. Why? Think of how many dudes she's slept with. Disgusting.

In all fairness, I doubt you'd disagree that you're a bit of a strange ranger.

I used to feel like you do, but over the years it's become clear to me that women with experience, women who are themselves sexually charged, are about 100 times more fun to date than women who are willing to wait 3 or 4 months for sex. No woman who has an appropriate sex drive is going to want to wait that long. If I'm going to wait 3 months to sleep with a woman, I might as well haul off and become a Quaker.