How long should one wait after a divorce before 'openly' dating?

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Kadarin

Lifer
Nov 23, 2001
44,296
16
81
I agree with the sentiment that if you're divorcing or being divorced, that means there's mutual agreement that the relationship is over. This means that you can date whenever you feel emotionally ready.
 

alkemyst

No Lifer
Feb 13, 2001
83,769
19
81
Originally posted by: BoomerD
Hit on the lawyer's secretary...on the way in to sign the papers...if your wife has a hot female attorney, hit on her in front of the ex...no sense wasting a good opportunity...;)

way to end up screwed in the divorce court. While the divorce is going on, you want to keep it low key.
 

alkemyst

No Lifer
Feb 13, 2001
83,769
19
81
Originally posted by: PrinceofWands
Originally posted by: alkemyst
I don't get these posts, they can't come from anyone that's been in many relationships.

It's not a death of a spouse...it's a divorce...you are agreeing to part ways (some maybe a bit one-sided)...

My money is on as soon as you get the papers and find out their is nothing you can do to halt the proceedings.

Makes no sense to wait.

Sounds like you've had no 'serious' relationships or no understanding of psychology. A person carries a lot of baggage just from semi-casual relationships, marriage is many levels beyond that. It takes time to let it all go and move on. Again, we're not talking about random hookups after. You don't need much stability to stick it in and out for an evening.

I have lived with more than a half dozen women, married one...divorced...had another financee that didn't work out, now married almost 5 years.

I have dated a ton of women though. Most really don't to much sticking in and out though, yet like to tell their soon to be 'princess' about all the women they passed up opportunities with; while they are happy she says she has only been with a couple other guys and the sex was terrible.

THE SEX IS NEVER BAD! ;)

I don't know what kind of baggage you took on from dating, but that seems a bit psychotic. Can I say every chick was happy I didn't call them again? no...Can I say I was happy when they didn't call me? no. I think we all just moved on though. It was just a date or a few leading to sex at that point.

 

yowolabi

Diamond Member
Jun 29, 2001
4,183
2
81
If the judge is female, ask her out for the night the papers are signed. If she goes for it, you might get a better deal in the divorce too.

Edit: Socially acceptable is a pile of crap. If you're no longer married, than there's no reason to hide. It's pretty pathetic to not date or sneak around because you're worried what some nosy neighbor/relative is going to think about your perfectly legal and moral decision.
 
May 16, 2000
13,522
0
0
Originally posted by: alkemyst
Originally posted by: PrinceofWands
Originally posted by: alkemyst
I don't get these posts, they can't come from anyone that's been in many relationships.

It's not a death of a spouse...it's a divorce...you are agreeing to part ways (some maybe a bit one-sided)...

My money is on as soon as you get the papers and find out their is nothing you can do to halt the proceedings.

Makes no sense to wait.

Sounds like you've had no 'serious' relationships or no understanding of psychology. A person carries a lot of baggage just from semi-casual relationships, marriage is many levels beyond that. It takes time to let it all go and move on. Again, we're not talking about random hookups after. You don't need much stability to stick it in and out for an evening.

I have lived with more than a half dozen women, married one...divorced...had another financee that didn't work out, now married almost 5 years.

I have dated a ton of women though. Most really don't to much sticking in and out though, yet like to tell their soon to be 'princess' about all the women they passed up opportunities with; while they are happy she says she has only been with a couple other guys and the sex was terrible.

THE SEX IS NEVER BAD! ;)

I don't know what kind of baggage you took on from dating, but that seems a bit psychotic. Can I say every chick was happy I didn't call them again? no...Can I say I was happy when they didn't call me? no. I think we all just moved on though. It was just a date or a few leading to sex at that point.

There are a lot of possible factors at play here. We could have different thresholds of dating, hooking up, etc. We could have different levels of emotional commitment. *shrug* I think we're probably just very different.
 

BillyBatson

Diamond Member
May 13, 2001
5,715
1
0
1 day could be acceptable i the marriage was dead a long time ago but a divorce hasn't taken place yet.
now if you were happy a day ago and decided to end things today out of no where you might have to wait longer like a couple of months
 

alkemyst

No Lifer
Feb 13, 2001
83,769
19
81
Originally posted by: PrinceofWands
Originally posted by: alkemyst
Originally posted by: PrinceofWands
Originally posted by: alkemyst
I don't get these posts, they can't come from anyone that's been in many relationships.

It's not a death of a spouse...it's a divorce...you are agreeing to part ways (some maybe a bit one-sided)...

My money is on as soon as you get the papers and find out their is nothing you can do to halt the proceedings.

Makes no sense to wait.

Sounds like you've had no 'serious' relationships or no understanding of psychology. A person carries a lot of baggage just from semi-casual relationships, marriage is many levels beyond that. It takes time to let it all go and move on. Again, we're not talking about random hookups after. You don't need much stability to stick it in and out for an evening.

I have lived with more than a half dozen women, married one...divorced...had another financee that didn't work out, now married almost 5 years.

I have dated a ton of women though. Most really don't to much sticking in and out though, yet like to tell their soon to be 'princess' about all the women they passed up opportunities with; while they are happy she says she has only been with a couple other guys and the sex was terrible.

THE SEX IS NEVER BAD! ;)

I don't know what kind of baggage you took on from dating, but that seems a bit psychotic. Can I say every chick was happy I didn't call them again? no...Can I say I was happy when they didn't call me? no. I think we all just moved on though. It was just a date or a few leading to sex at that point.

There are a lot of possible factors at play here. We could have different thresholds of dating, hooking up, etc. We could have different levels of emotional commitment. *shrug* I think we're probably just very different.

so don't throw out I don't know human psychology or serious relationships then.

Still if you are in a marriage and it end in divorce you should have had your emotional ties severed at least a few months on if you are being honest with the relationship.
 
May 16, 2000
13,522
0
0
Originally posted by: alkemyst
Originally posted by: PrinceofWands
Originally posted by: alkemyst
Originally posted by: PrinceofWands
Originally posted by: alkemyst
I don't get these posts, they can't come from anyone that's been in many relationships.

It's not a death of a spouse...it's a divorce...you are agreeing to part ways (some maybe a bit one-sided)...

My money is on as soon as you get the papers and find out their is nothing you can do to halt the proceedings.

Makes no sense to wait.

Sounds like you've had no 'serious' relationships or no understanding of psychology. A person carries a lot of baggage just from semi-casual relationships, marriage is many levels beyond that. It takes time to let it all go and move on. Again, we're not talking about random hookups after. You don't need much stability to stick it in and out for an evening.

I have lived with more than a half dozen women, married one...divorced...had another financee that didn't work out, now married almost 5 years.

I have dated a ton of women though. Most really don't to much sticking in and out though, yet like to tell their soon to be 'princess' about all the women they passed up opportunities with; while they are happy she says she has only been with a couple other guys and the sex was terrible.

THE SEX IS NEVER BAD! ;)

I don't know what kind of baggage you took on from dating, but that seems a bit psychotic. Can I say every chick was happy I didn't call them again? no...Can I say I was happy when they didn't call me? no. I think we all just moved on though. It was just a date or a few leading to sex at that point.

There are a lot of possible factors at play here. We could have different thresholds of dating, hooking up, etc. We could have different levels of emotional commitment. *shrug* I think we're probably just very different.

so don't throw out I don't know human psychology or serious relationships then.

Still if you are in a marriage and it end in divorce you should have had your emotional ties severed at least a few months on if you are being honest with the relationship.

I disagree. Emotions don't just get severed or turned off, at least mine don't. Hell, I still have feelings for old high school girlfriends, at least on some level. *shrug* Like I said, I think we're just different.
 

alkemyst

No Lifer
Feb 13, 2001
83,769
19
81
Originally posted by: PrinceofWands

I disagree. Emotions don't just get severed or turned off, at least mine don't. Hell, I still have feelings for old high school girlfriends, at least on some level. *shrug* Like I said, I think we're just different.

You were not 'dating' then, you were going from potential future wife to the next.

I have memories of some chicks I dated in high school like my first, we still talk from time to time...but neither of us are pining over each other.