How long do you think you'd last in prison?

[skace]

Originally posted by: Canai
I think if I ever get caught doing anything that could possibly end with myself in prison, I'd start working out and training as soon as I could, the day after I get caught, so then by the time I'd actually get convicted and sentenced, I'd have a couple months of training under my belt. Brush up on my martial arts and work on power. One I was in, I'd keep training and try to take care of myself.

I hope I never go, but you never know.

Great plan, you probably wouldn't develop any significant strength to defend yourself with but if your lucky you might look a little bit healthy, moving you up the desireability list once you actually get into prison.

Me? I'd work on trying to look as hideous as possible. And blend in, don't try to stand out at all.

A lot of people seem to think their height, weight and kung fu skills matter. But that shit doesn't matter when 4 people attack you unless you are skilled in flying spinkicks. A short weak dude can stab a guy in the neck with a screwdriver just like a hulkamaniac can. And that's the kind of thing that will set you aside as fucking crazy.

 

[Jeff7]

Originally posted by: Excelsior

Originally posted by: Jeff7
5'10" white guy - 120lbs ±5lbs.

"...looked like a stiff breeze would blow him over."


Either way, it wouldn't be pretty, but I might die trying. If I had to fight dirty, I would.

Holy hell that is light for 5' 10".

I think I'm 5'10". I'll have to check again sometime. But I do qualify as "underweight," and I find it difficult to even maintain it. I don't care for eating, and I routinely get ulcers in my mouth (I've had this problem for many years), so eating is also painful. I wish I could find all these high-calorie foods that developed countries seem to abound with, to turn the people obese. Or maybe it's just the fact that I don't stuff my face 24/7. :Q
I'm still in search of an ideal food - high in calories, easy to chew, nutritious, easy to prepare, and cheap.

 

[FoBoT]

Originally posted by: amicold

Originally posted by: FoBoT
10 minutes

i'd try to get solitary , i'd be fine by myself

Theres studies done on those in confinement, and most people go insane, I doubt you'd be fine.

insane sounds fine to me

 

[JohnCU]

Originally posted by: Jeff7

Originally posted by: Excelsior

Originally posted by: Jeff7
5'10" white guy - 120lbs ±5lbs.

"...looked like a stiff breeze would blow him over."


Either way, it wouldn't be pretty, but I might die trying. If I had to fight dirty, I would.

Holy hell that is light for 5' 10".

I think I'm 5'10". I'll have to check again sometime. But I do qualify as "underweight," and I find it difficult to even maintain it. I don't care for eating, and I routinely get ulcers in my mouth (I've had this problem for many years), so eating is also painful. I wish I could find all these high-calorie foods that developed countries seem to abound with, to turn the people obese. Or maybe it's just the fact that I don't stuff my face 24/7. :Q
I'm still in search of an ideal food - high in calories, easy to chew, nutritious, easy to prepare, and cheap.

oreos?

 

[antyler]

6'3 155 pounds. I would be toast.

 

[hanoverphist]

Originally posted by: BW86
until my sentence is up

thats what i was thinking also

 

[PHiuR]

Originally posted by: BW86
until my sentence is up

yup.

 

[Jeff7]

Originally posted by: JohnCU
oreos?

They have yet to release an Oreo that could be eaten exclusively, without causing death by a diabetically-induced heart attack. After eating enough of those things, your arteries would be pushing stuff with the consistency of the cookie filling.
When, oh when will they make Bachelor Chow? That, or an Oreo with all the nutrition you'd need. They have cat food, dog food, gerbil food, etc etc. Where's "human food?" Just some generic, yet tasty, food that's cheap, easily prepared, and nutritious?

Originally posted by: HamburgerBoy
Not only am I a 5'7" 110lb scrawny white guy, but I'm one that's been confused for a female several times in the past. Definite prison bitch.

When I worked at Kmart, the usual way shoppers would try to get my attention was by calling out, "Excuse me, Miss!" Some of them apologized for their error, some didn't seem to notice that I had a really deep voice for someone called "miss." One astute little kid noted to his mother, "Dat's not a lady!" She blushed and apologized. I don't know what the deal is. Are guys not allowed to be thin?

 

[MaxDepth]

I would want to do something so crazy insane as to warrant solitary confinement. I would rather hallucinate and lose all sense of time than constantly be under threat from the general prison populace.


That being said, I think the days of Palm Spring style of minimum security prisons for white collar crimes are a thing of the past. Gee, thanks Enron!

 

[Special K]

Originally posted by: Jeff7

I'm still in search of an ideal food - high in calories, easy to chew, nutritious, easy to prepare, and cheap.

Mix the following in a blender:

milk
whey protein
oats
natural peanut butter

optional: bananas
optional: olive oil

All of the ingredients are healthy and cheap. It only takes ~5 min to prepare and drink, and depending on the amount and proportion of ingredients used, the shake can easily contain 1000+ calories.

There, now you are out of excuses

 

[Jeff7]

Originally posted by: Special K

Originally posted by: Jeff7

I'm still in search of an ideal food - high in calories, easy to chew, nutritious, easy to prepare, and cheap.

Mix the following in a blender:

milk
whey protein
oats
natural peanut butter

optional: bananas
optional: olive oil

All of the ingredients are healthy and cheap. It only takes ~5 min to prepare and drink, and depending on the amount and proportion of ingredients used, the shake can easily contain 1000+ calories.

There, now you are out of excuses

How's it taste? Sounds interesting. Where do I find whey protein, and in what kind of store? I assume it'd be in a grocery store. What kind of taste does that add? What portions should I use? Let's assume that I suck at cooking unless I have a recipe, specified to the thousandth of a milligram, and cooking times to the nanosecond - otherwise, something's getting ruined.

 

[BlackTigers]

Originally posted by: Jeff7

Originally posted by: Special K

Originally posted by: Jeff7

I'm still in search of an ideal food - high in calories, easy to chew, nutritious, easy to prepare, and cheap.

Mix the following in a blender:

milk
whey protein
oats
natural peanut butter

optional: bananas
optional: olive oil

All of the ingredients are healthy and cheap. It only takes ~5 min to prepare and drink, and depending on the amount and proportion of ingredients used, the shake can easily contain 1000+ calories.

There, now you are out of excuses

How's it taste? Sounds interesting. Where do I find whey protein, and in what kind of store? I assume it'd be in a grocery store.

It tastes exactly like you think it would...lol. Chocolate powder, milk, peanut butter..and oats.

You can get whey..hell anywhere. All OVER the internet, Wal-Mart, Sam's Club, GNC, hell even the local Giant Eagle has some.

 

[Jeff7]

Originally posted by: BlackTigers91
It tastes exactly like you think it would...lol. Chocolate powder, milk, peanut butter..and oats.

You can get whey..hell anywhere. All OVER the internet, Wal-Mart, Sam's Club, GNC, hell even the local Giant Eagle has some.

He didn't mention chocolate.
And there's the whey protein, which for all I know tastes like battery acid and copper. I've heard of it, but I have no idea what it looks or tastes like, and until a minute ago, didn't know what it was made from.

And yes, there is a Giant Eagle nearby. I'm going shopping tomorrow, so I'll get some of this stuff then.

Chocolate powder - Hershey's unsweetened stuff, or Nestle Quick?

Is there a specific name for this mix?

 

[BlackTigers]

Originally posted by: Jeff7

Originally posted by: BlackTigers91
It tastes exactly like you think it would...lol. Chocolate powder, milk, peanut butter..and oats.

You can get whey..hell anywhere. All OVER the internet, Wal-Mart, Sam's Club, GNC, hell even the local Giant Eagle has some.

He didn't mention chocolate.
And there's the whey protein, which for all I know tastes like battery acid and copper. I've heard of it, but I have no idea what it looks or tastes like, and until a minute ago, didn't know what it was made from.

And yes, there is a Giant Eagle nearby. I'm going shopping tomorrow, so I'll get some of this stuff then.

Chocolate powder - Hershey's unsweetened stuff, or Nestle Quick?

Is there a specific name for this mix?

Oh, by chocolate powder, I meant that's the flavor of the whey protein I use, my bad for not clarifying. Probably not a good idea to be mixing Hershey's into this shake..lol.

I get a 2lb? container of it at the local WM for $11. Lasts about 2-3 weeks.

 

[Jeff7]

Originally posted by: BlackTigers91
Oh, by chocolate powder, I meant that's the flavor of the whey protein I use, my bad for not clarifying. Probably not a good idea to be mixing Hershey's into this shake..lol.

I get a 2lb? container of it at the local WM for $11. Lasts about 2-3 weeks.

Ok, thanks. See, I didn't even know that whey protein came in powder form. I'd seriously only heard of its existence, and nothing more.

I'll definitely have to give this a shot. The blender part makes it even better.

 

[Special K]

Originally posted by: Jeff7

Originally posted by: Special K

Originally posted by: Jeff7

I'm still in search of an ideal food - high in calories, easy to chew, nutritious, easy to prepare, and cheap.

Mix the following in a blender:

milk
whey protein
oats
natural peanut butter

optional: bananas
optional: olive oil

All of the ingredients are healthy and cheap. It only takes ~5 min to prepare and drink, and depending on the amount and proportion of ingredients used, the shake can easily contain 1000+ calories.

There, now you are out of excuses

How's it taste? Sounds interesting. Where do I find whey protein, and in what kind of store? I assume it'd be in a grocery store. What kind of taste does that add? What portions should I use? Let's assume that I suck at cooking unless I have a recipe, specified to the thousandth of a milligram, and cooking times to the nanosecond - otherwise, something's getting ruined.

Alright, let me break it down:

milk - use whatever variety you prefer. Since you seem underweight, whole milk would be ok

whey protein - This comes in various flavors. I recommend chocolate, as the more complex the flavor, the bigger the chance it will taste like crap. You can buy it at supplement stores like GNC, or at some grocery stores. There are many different brands. The cheapest option would be to buy online, although then you would need to wait on shipping. As an example, try looking here:

link

That brand tastes pretty good, mixes well, and is a good value for the money.

oats - this is simple - they come in cans. Quaker oats is the most common brand, although you can probably find a store branded equivalent for less than half the price. Make sure to get the 'quick oats' as opposed to regular or old fashioned oats. The quick oats are smaller and blend easier.

natural peanut butter - this one can be tricky. Not all PBs that say natural on the label are actually natural. Look at the ingredients on the label - real natural PB will only contain peanuts and possibly salt. No sugar or any other BS.

bananas - these are not required, but if you cut a banana up and freeze it, mixing the frozen banana slices into your shake makes it taste pretty good.

olive oil - self explanatory

Here is a sample recipe:

2 cups milk
1 cup oats
2 scoops whey
2 tbsp natural PB
1 banana

This contains close to 1000 calories.

 

[IGBT]

..extremely noisy place. it's like being at the circus 24/7. complete with side shows and main events.

 

[KoolDrew]

Originally posted by: BW86
until my sentence is up

 

[GuitarDaddy]

Originally posted by: sonambulo
As long as I had to. I would kill or maim until my last ounce of strength remained to avoid becoming someone else's bitch.

I have a cousin who spent 7yrs in the pen, and this approach worked for him. Although he got his jaw broken twice and three other broken bones protecting his ass, he never got ass raped. The fact that he's 6'-10" and weighs 345lbs helped his efforts I'm sure

 

[TallBill]

Untill they let me out.

 

[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: jpeyton

Originally posted by: Anghang
if i can't get solitary, i'd drink milk to keep the rapists away, i'm lactose intolerant...hopefully there aren't any inmates into fecalphilia...

You'll have no problem finding inmates into scat/WS.

Prisons cater to every flavor.

esp that unprepared it leads to scat anyway.

Seems the thread got derailed by the 'bodybuilders', but anyway...if you find yourself going to prision; chances are you are not going to be able to leave the country and you aren't going to have the time to pack on mass. Even if you could there will be way bigger guys in prison.

Find the baddest ass dojo in your city or drive to one outside. Learn to take a beating in a controlled environment first.

No matter what people say if you are going to a life time hard time facility unless you have gang ties or are Chuck Norris, chances are you get raped. Most don't end up in such a place so no one is going to risk their easy 1yr to get 20yrs in a FPMITAP.

 

[Jeff7]

Special K, thanks.

Does anyone else find it just a little wrong that there's this talk of "protein shakes" going on within a prison thread?

 

[Shawn]

Originally posted by: Jeff7
Special K, thanks.

Does anyone else find it just a little wrong that there's this talk of "protein shakes" going on within a prison thread?

Seriously. WTF is going on?

 

[JohnCU]

Originally posted by: Jeff7
Special K, thanks.

Does anyone else find it just a little wrong that there's this talk of "protein shakes" going on within a prison thread?

I used to like you and your posts until you hijacked my thread. :brokenheart:

 

[everman]

I've been to a women's prison before and it didn't seem so bad, of course I was just a tourist there. It's completely different from a men's prison environment. I might get to tour a maximum security men's prison soon so I'll be able to compare.