How long do you think children should expect parents to support them?

[IEC]

So many confused "adults" and "children" in this thread. I love how it's the same people who get pissed off and tell other ATOTers to let other people live their own lives who are telling people in this thread how to live theirs...

 

[L1FE]

Originally posted by: Homerboy

Originally posted by: zerogear

Originally posted by: AreaCode707

Originally posted by: FelixDeKat
In many parts of the world, sometimes children NEVER leave home. And with homes costing $250,000 on up and peoples desire to remain single, 20 somethings at 'home' will become more and more common.

I actually get the 20-somethings at home just fine, but you can still be at home and living on your own dime (paying rent, buying your own car/gas, doing your own housework). By itself living at home doesn't mean expecting your parents to support you.

I think being 20s something and at home is fine. For some people living at home is a method of saving money for that big move in the future.

Saving money at your parents expense. No matter how much you think you are "pulling your own weight" at home, you simply are not. I dont care if you pay rent or whatever, you're still an expense to your parents.

I'm venturing to guess that EVERYONE saying "20+ is ok to live it home is 20ish themselves and without kids?

If you're paying rent, you're giving them additional income to pay for their mortgage. If you lived somewhere else paying rent to an apartment complex you aren't gaining equity, and now your parents are also not getting any additional income unless they decide to let some stranger in their house and charge him/her rent. I've essentially been moved out since I was in college, but I can see the benefits of keeping the money in the family.

 

[Homerboy]

Originally posted by: L1FE

Originally posted by: Homerboy

Originally posted by: zerogear

Originally posted by: AreaCode707

Originally posted by: FelixDeKat
In many parts of the world, sometimes children NEVER leave home. And with homes costing $250,000 on up and peoples desire to remain single, 20 somethings at 'home' will become more and more common.

I actually get the 20-somethings at home just fine, but you can still be at home and living on your own dime (paying rent, buying your own car/gas, doing your own housework). By itself living at home doesn't mean expecting your parents to support you.

I think being 20s something and at home is fine. For some people living at home is a method of saving money for that big move in the future.

Saving money at your parents expense. No matter how much you think you are "pulling your own weight" at home, you simply are not. I dont care if you pay rent or whatever, you're still an expense to your parents.

I'm venturing to guess that EVERYONE saying "20+ is ok to live it home is 20ish themselves and without kids?

If you're paying rent, you're giving them additional income to pay for their mortgage. If you lived somewhere else paying rent to an apartment complex you aren't gaining equity, and now your parents are also not getting any additional income unless they decide to let some stranger in their house and charge him/her rent. I've essentially been moved out since I was in college, but I can see the benefits of keeping the money in the family.

LOL you seriously think that is how it works? There is more to living expenses than mortgage... LOL maybe you kids SHOULD stay at home. Its painfully apparent you know nothing about the real world.

 

[gorcorps]

Depends how people are raised. I haven't expected anything from my parents since HS, and even towards then end of that other than living at home I took care of everything else myself. I've paid my own rent, my own car insurance, my own food, and everything else since I was 18-19.

 

[L1FE]

Originally posted by: Homerboy

Originally posted by: L1FE

Originally posted by: Homerboy

Originally posted by: zerogear

Originally posted by: AreaCode707

Originally posted by: FelixDeKat
In many parts of the world, sometimes children NEVER leave home. And with homes costing $250,000 on up and peoples desire to remain single, 20 somethings at 'home' will become more and more common.

I actually get the 20-somethings at home just fine, but you can still be at home and living on your own dime (paying rent, buying your own car/gas, doing your own housework). By itself living at home doesn't mean expecting your parents to support you.

I think being 20s something and at home is fine. For some people living at home is a method of saving money for that big move in the future.

Saving money at your parents expense. No matter how much you think you are "pulling your own weight" at home, you simply are not. I dont care if you pay rent or whatever, you're still an expense to your parents.

I'm venturing to guess that EVERYONE saying "20+ is ok to live it home is 20ish themselves and without kids?

If you're paying rent, you're giving them additional income to pay for their mortgage. If you lived somewhere else paying rent to an apartment complex you aren't gaining equity, and now your parents are also not getting any additional income unless they decide to let some stranger in their house and charge him/her rent. I've essentially been moved out since I was in college, but I can see the benefits of keeping the money in the family.

LOL you seriously think that is how it works? There is more to living expenses than mortgage... LOL maybe you kids SHOULD stay at home. Its painfully apparent you know nothing about the real world.

There's nothing preventing someone living at home from paying rent, paying for their own car, insurance, helping with utilities and whatnot. However, RENT is something that goes directly to helping your parents pay for the mortgage and was just a single example of how your money can help your family. If your parents did not have that money, would they seriously be better off?

Edit: Removed angry/bitter comments since they detract from the debate. I apologize if they offended anyone. This is an online forum and I forget sometimes that it's really just not that fucking important

 

[BoomerD]

Originally posted by: Linflas

Originally posted by: BoomerD

Originally posted by: Linflas
As far as I'm concerned that expectation should end the day they march across the stage and receive their high school diploma or drop out and are 18 years old. 2 weeks after I graduated from high school I was in boot camp listening to an R. Lee Ermey clone and learning that mommy was no longer around to cater to me.

Semper Fi!

Boot camp is possibly the best education I ever had...and they paid me to get it!

Heh Semper Fi misplaced, I did not go through the hell that is Marine bootcamp, but the lighter version of it that the Navy provided but I have to say that watching that 1st half of Full Metal Jacket there are more similarities than differences. It is the closest to reality depiction of boot camp I have seen in any movie. And the pay was really nice since you just sat on the checks since there was nothing to spend it on anyway for the next 9 weeks.

OK, since you said:

listening to an R. Lee Ermey clone and learning that mommy was no longer around to cater to me.

I figured it had to be the Corps. No onter branch treats its recruits quite so well.

BUT, since that's not the case...Piss off, Squid!

I used to hate youse Navy pukes. We'd be out busting our asses doing PT, while the Navy boys hung out by the fences, laughing and smoking cigarettes... (after boot camp I <more or less> got over it...and accepted that the Marine Corps was a department of the Navy...the Men's Department.

 

[Homerboy]

Originally posted by: gorcorps
Depends how people are raised. I haven't expected anything from my parents since HS, and even towards then end of that other than living at home I took care of everything else myself. I've paid my own rent, my own car insurance, my own food, and everything else since I was 18-19.

I agree its all a matter of perspective. I think the question REALLY is why are parents raising their children to expect "coverage" past 18 and well beyond? If it is easily within your means... MAYBE. But even that is a tremendously slippery slope IMO. Not to mention that 99% of the population really CAN'T afford this. I will do what I can to HELP my kids, but they by NO MEANS should expect it or RELY on it. I have some money put away for their college, but it will likely be enough to cover books by the time they go.

The problem lies, with the expectations and assumption that mom and dad will be there at ever single turn for you... they may want to be, and will try to be, it just isn't going to happen 100% of the time and the sooner that kids learn this the better.

The sense of entitlement that has been growing, even since my generation is astonishing. Nobody takes responsibility into their own hands. I love the arguments of "its hard" and "its expensive!" Yes... I'm sure it was cheap and easy for your parents to raise you.

 

[alkemyst]

one of the worst things to happen to the economy was the introduction of dual income families. Since the 50's that extra income delivered extra buying power only for a short time. Now to make ends meet it's almost expected.

We are already seeing the salary trends with these parents coddling their kids and turning them into adult children. People knew it was tough to get a start in life, but it taught one many things.

Now with an additional 2 or more incomes, hiring companies know they can put lower salaries out there. Once it's customary to have a household netting 3-4 bread winners, the price of all goods will rise.

Good luck then buying things.

It's a totally unhealthy relationship to have a child living past the age of 18 long term in a parent's home based on the customs of the US. Unfortunately it's getting more accepted as normal.

Sad part of the reality I am sure we all have heard...for even adult kid claiming they are saving for a 'house' to 'pay off loans' etc, you have 10 or more never doing that.

What's even worse is today these adult children simply go from living with parents to immediately moving in with a g/f...another totally unhealthy deal.

Most of today's kids are far too codependant.

 

[evident]

Originally posted by: zerogear

Originally posted by: AreaCode707

Originally posted by: FelixDeKat
In many parts of the world, sometimes children NEVER leave home. And with homes costing $250,000 on up and peoples desire to remain single, 20 somethings at 'home' will become more and more common.

I actually get the 20-somethings at home just fine, but you can still be at home and living on your own dime (paying rent, buying your own car/gas, doing your own housework). By itself living at home doesn't mean expecting your parents to support you.

I think being 20s something and at home is fine. For some people living at home is a method of saving money for that big move in the future.

I am at this point in my life. i'm 24 and live about 35 miles away from work, but i live at home so i've been saving $$$. any nice place to live by my work has houses that are 400K++. sure i could move to another suburb close to my job, but why the hell would i want to buy a place in the burbs as my first home in my 20's? i'm also not even sure if i want to stay in the area, so if i moved, that would be easier too if i didn't have my own house.

 

[Dr. Detroit]

6-months after college graduation - if you did not go to college than 6-months after HS graduation.

Get out and live life and leave your parents alone so they too can have their lives/freedom back while not supporting your sorry asses.

 

[Deeko]

I was completely self-sufficient immediately after graduating high school. In fact, I paid many of my expenses WHILE I was in high school. My sister, on the other hand, is 23, graduated, and living at home with no immediate plans to leave in the near future. She's driving my parents crazy, but they aren't about to kick her out.

Whatever

 

[newnameman]

Originally posted by: Deeko
I was completely self-sufficient immediately after graduating high school. In fact, I paid many of my expenses WHILE I was in high school. My sister, on the other hand, is 23, graduated, and living at home with no immediate plans to leave in the near future. She's driving my parents crazy, but they aren't about to kick her out.

Whatever

:camera:s?

 

[zerogear]

Originally posted by: Homerboy

Originally posted by: zerogear

Originally posted by: AreaCode707

Originally posted by: FelixDeKat
In many parts of the world, sometimes children NEVER leave home. And with homes costing $250,000 on up and peoples desire to remain single, 20 somethings at 'home' will become more and more common.

I actually get the 20-somethings at home just fine, but you can still be at home and living on your own dime (paying rent, buying your own car/gas, doing your own housework). By itself living at home doesn't mean expecting your parents to support you.

I think being 20s something and at home is fine. For some people living at home is a method of saving money for that big move in the future.

Saving money at your parents expense. No matter how much you think you are "pulling your own weight" at home, you simply are not. I dont care if you pay rent or whatever, you're still an expense to your parents.

I'm venturing to guess that EVERYONE saying "20+ is ok to live it home is 20ish themselves and without kids?

If your parents are fine with it, I don't see any reason not to. If they wanted you out, then you should move out.

 

[ggnl]

Originally posted by: zerogear

Originally posted by: Homerboy

Originally posted by: zerogear

Originally posted by: AreaCode707

Originally posted by: FelixDeKat
In many parts of the world, sometimes children NEVER leave home. And with homes costing $250,000 on up and peoples desire to remain single, 20 somethings at 'home' will become more and more common.

I actually get the 20-somethings at home just fine, but you can still be at home and living on your own dime (paying rent, buying your own car/gas, doing your own housework). By itself living at home doesn't mean expecting your parents to support you.

I think being 20s something and at home is fine. For some people living at home is a method of saving money for that big move in the future.

Saving money at your parents expense. No matter how much you think you are "pulling your own weight" at home, you simply are not. I dont care if you pay rent or whatever, you're still an expense to your parents.

I'm venturing to guess that EVERYONE saying "20+ is ok to live it home is 20ish themselves and without kids?

If your parents are fine with it, I don't see any reason not to. If they wanted you out, then you should move out.

I agree. The parent/child relationship tends to change once the reaches adulthood (unless you're Asian) and it's very possible to have a cordial, mutually beneficial relationship.

 

[actuarial]

Originally posted by: alkemyst
What's even worse is today these adult children simply go from living with parents to immediately moving in with a g/f...another totally unhealthy deal.

Most of today's kids are far too codependant.

Ummm isn't this what a lot of the last generation did? I know my parents, all my uncle/aunts I can think of did. Most lived in their parents basement apartment when they first got married.

Most people were married/pregnant by 20 in the past, and did go straight from mommy/daddy to living with a spouse.

 

[Special K]

Originally posted by: Capt Caveman

Originally posted by: guyver01

Originally posted by: TruePaige

Maybe he has no interest in that either?

Some guys aren't looking to start a family.

And those guys are called.... Flamboyant.

I'd use another term... but i dont wanna get banned

Well, he talked about planning on paying for his children's college and expenses. Trying to figure out how he plans on eventually meeting someone if he only goes out twice a year. I'm guessing arranged marriage is in his future.

But he's investing all that money! Just think, when he's 70 and retired, he will finally be able to enjoy his millions!

Personally I think money spent now (in my 20's) will bring a lot more enjoyment while I still have my good health vs. in retirement where people often have many health issues, but I suppose that's a personal preference.

Having said that, I still make sure to invest enough for retirement. I just don't think I will enjoy money then like I can enjoy it now.

 

[TridenT]

I was wondering how long it was going to take until Spidey07's cavalry was going to arrive.

 

[TridenT]

Originally posted by: Special K

Originally posted by: Capt Caveman

Originally posted by: guyver01

Originally posted by: TruePaige

Maybe he has no interest in that either?

Some guys aren't looking to start a family.

And those guys are called.... Flamboyant.

I'd use another term... but i dont wanna get banned

Well, he talked about planning on paying for his children's college and expenses. Trying to figure out how he plans on eventually meeting someone if he only goes out twice a year. I'm guessing arranged marriage is in his future.

But he's investing all that money! Just think, when he's 70 and retired, he will finally be able to enjoy his millions!

Personally I think money spent now (in my 20's) will bring a lot more enjoyment while I still have my good health vs. in retirement where people often have many health issues, but I suppose that's a personal preference.

Having said that, I still make sure to invest enough for retirement. I just don't think I will enjoy money then like I can enjoy it now.

Makes more sense to me to be spending that money on trips and other fun stuff while you can still enjoy them as a youngster. When you retire at... 70 you're going to be near-dead and not able to enjoy those trips etc.

 

[yllus]

I wouldn't blame anyone for needing financial assistance from their parents until they were done their undergrad studies at university, especially in the more expensive cities in North America. But I would expect them to want to cut it off ASAP after they got into the workforce and started to gain the ability to generate income on a full-time basis.

 

[NetWareHead]

Originally posted by: spidey07

Originally posted by: joshsquall


What? You're batshit crazy.

I'm batshit crazy for asking that you have a stake in your decisions with no safety net? Welcome to adulthood.

And what is wrong with having a safety net? You generalize too much. I dont know how you grew up or what kind of parents you had but judging by the responses u posted, I will bet my house that it was nothing like mine.

I lived at home until I was 24, bought a house and moved in when I was 25 after 8 months of repairs and rennovations. Sure my parents could have kicked me out at 18 , having fulfilled their "legal obligations". The difference was that my parents CARED about me enough to keep me home as long as we both agreed to a few things. I had to go to school and keep up good grades. I had to help out around the house, cleanup, chores and I didnt have to pay rent. It was my choice whether or not I wanted to work but I did anyway and was able to bank each and every paycheck. The important thing was that I had a goal they they agreed with and they helped me in every way possible to get towards that goal. If you can help your kid to concentrate on college without a stupid job in the way or help him to bank each and every paycheck while you take care of his bills....why not? When it finally comes time for him to move out and get a real start in life, he will hit the ground running instead of being saddled with debt. It is because my parents kept me at home that I started an IRA when I was 17 and FULLY FUNDED it each year. It was because my parents kept me at home that I got good grades in college. it was because my parents kept me at home that I bought a house at 24 with a 35% downpayment in cash.

The important part is that i knew I had a safety net. And this safety net enabled me to take risks that I would not have taken if I was out on my own and providing 100% for myself. Could I have done this if I were living by myself? Absolutely not. I am the best off financially among all my american friends whose parents also practice this retarded tradition. Among all my asian, indian and european friends this practice is quite normal to keep children in the house.

I dont know whose 20-somethign year old children you saw still at home but you are wrong and making a blanket statement. If you think I am a child or not independent or incapable of making my own decisions, you're dead wrong. Not everyone who lives at home in their 20s fits your cookie cutter prepackaged opinion.

 

[oiprocs]

Originally posted by: LilPima

Originally posted by: spidey07
If you still living at home at age 24 you are a complete failure at life honestly. If you can't put a roof over your head and provide for your life and self, well that's failure at life.

Area707 - by providing a roof over the head still classifies as failure of the child. The now mid 20s child can't even meet it's basic needs without assistance. The child is a failure at life and the parents are enabling this failure.

18 is the bar. Above and beyond that will only lead to the child's failure in life.

How much is the average monthly rent in Kentucky? Here, a shithole apt can start at $1000/mo., and you have to pay more for nicer areas/places.

Not being able to put a roof over your own personal head and opting not to, while making more sound financial decisions is the better way to go.

Exactly, bum fuck Kentucky has cheap ass housing. I just found a studio for $450 on craigslist.

:roll:

 

[oiprocs]

Originally posted by: buck
A lot of lazy fuckin kids these days.
To answer the OP, 18, maybe a little longer if a daughter needs some time until shes in college.

Why don't you buck yourself off your high horse?

 

[hanoverphist]

all 3 of my kids will be able to stay in my house as long as they want, given that they are educating themselves, working toward a future and actually living. if they do like my cousin did and mooch, ill kick em to the curb after trying to help them get their lives on track. my kids are pretty independent as it is, a lot like i was. i left at 17, was a bum for a while, did odd jobs and supported myself. i lived in a tree for a month when i was 18 instead of running back home, even tho my mom would have let me move back in. i picked myself up and moved on. been a hard road, but lots of fun.

 

[oiprocs]

I'll be 23 later this year. Does this mean I need to get my sh!t straight and move out soon?

I spent the first 3 years of college living on/off campus. At the end of those 3 years, I had shitty grades and debt. I was working most of those 3 years, so the debt came from supersplurging.

I moved back home to get stabilized. Have a good job now, my grades got better (I'm not failing classes, but I'm definitely no straight A sum bitch), and I've improved mentally. I could move back now if I wanted to, and I even came close a few times, but my younger siblings enjoy having me around the house (they don't want me to leave since I take them out to eat/go bowling/parks/etc) and my parents prefer that I graduate first before moving out again.

 

[Joemonkey]

Originally posted by: Fmr12B
6-months after college graduation - if you did not go to college than 6-months after HS graduation.

Get out and live life and leave your parents alone so they too can have their lives/freedom back while not supporting your sorry asses.

This post wins the thread