How long do you put up with the no sex thing from your S.O.?

[InlineFive]

It's quite possible that the romance level in the relationship is dropping and/or her stress levels are increasing.

 

[Ktulu]

You know there's a lot of things that can affect a persons sex drive like stress, depression or health. I wouldn't punish someone for being a human being and having problems like everyone else. Maybe you should talk to her about it and find out what's going on. Maybe she should dump your ass for being an incentive a-hole.

 

[SonnyDaze]

Originally posted by: InlineFive
It's quite possible that the romance level in the relationship is dropping and/or her stress levels are increasing.

Good point. If she's "not in the mood" than maybe you need to work on "setting the mood" with a little more romance. Woman are funky like that you know (or maybe not 😉 )

 

[iRONic]

Originally posted by: Golgatha

Originally posted by: iRONic
If our GF withheld sex my wife wouldn't put up with it for very long. A month tops.

😕:Q:thumbsup:

Well, since sex is the primary reason we have a GF, it would be rather silly of her to withhold it.

 

[backseatmidget]

No way in hell it would go longer then a week.

 

[GrantMeThePower]

Originally posted by: SonnyDaze

Originally posted by: InlineFive
It's quite possible that the romance level in the relationship is dropping and/or her stress levels are increasing.

Good point. If she's "not in the mood" than maybe you need to work on "setting the mood" with a little more romance. Woman are funky like that you know (or maybe not 😉 )

No, thats totally true. But believe me I romance it up...I think that the stress levels are really true. She's under a TON of stress. She works full time and is a full time student and is struggling with some of her personal beliefs about religion and politics and social justice and is right in the middle of deciding to change her major. She wanted to be a psychiatrist and is changing-thats a pretty big life decision to want to be a doctor and then change your mind. She's meeting a lot of people at school that are challenging the way she looks at the world and is thinking a LOT about what more she could do to help people. The last thing she thinks about right now is sex and our relationship.

 

[ebaycj]

Originally posted by: theprodigalrebel
Depends. Is she religious? Mine is so no sex until we are married. Actually, so am I so it doesn't really bother me.

Sucks to be either one of you.

 

[MichaelD]

Originally posted by: GrantMeThePower

Originally posted by: SonnyDaze

Originally posted by: InlineFive
It's quite possible that the romance level in the relationship is dropping and/or her stress levels are increasing.

Good point. If she's "not in the mood" than maybe you need to work on "setting the mood" with a little more romance. Woman are funky like that you know (or maybe not 😉 )

No, thats totally true. But believe me I romance it up...I think that the stress levels are really true. She's under a TON of stress. She works full time and is a full time student and is struggling with some of her personal beliefs about religion and politics and social justice and is right in the middle of deciding to change her major. She wanted to be a psychiatrist and is changing-thats a pretty big life decision to want to be a doctor and then change your mind. She's meeting a lot of people at school that are challenging the way she looks at the world and is thinking a LOT about what more she could do to help people. The last thing she thinks about right now is sex and our relationship.

She sounds like a typical American 21 year old woman...and that's a negative in my book. Sounds like she's got more baggage than the lost and found at LAX.

How close are you? Been dating long? Maybe it's time to play your Option Card. As in "I opt to dump your "Oh so busy and stressed" butt at the curbside w/the rest of the recycling."

My $.02.

 

[clamum]

Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire

Originally posted by: clamum
People seem too obsessed with sex. Is it possible she just doesn't frickin feel like it sometimes? I'm a guy but I couldn't have sex 24/7... jesus people.

This isn't a "not tonight, I have a headache" thing, it's an extended-period "no sex for you until you buy me A/take me to B/I stop being a C" thing 😛

- M4H

Heh... well then I could understand. Using it to manipulate your partner is a crock of sh!t. But it sounds like she just has a lot of stuff going on... and from what I've read here it seems like she's putting her relationship behind other things.

 

[brandonb]

Originally posted by: GrantMeThePower
No, thats totally true. But believe me I romance it up...I think that the stress levels are really true. She's under a TON of stress. She works full time and is a full time student and is struggling with some of her personal beliefs about religion and politics and social justice and is right in the middle of deciding to change her major. She wanted to be a psychiatrist and is changing-thats a pretty big life decision to want to be a doctor and then change your mind. She's meeting a lot of people at school that are challenging the way she looks at the world and is thinking a LOT about what more she could do to help people. The last thing she thinks about right now is sex and our relationship.

If you care about her and love her, you will just wait it out. Try not to make it worse by forcing her into sex when she isn't really into it.

Have some patience, people go through ups and downs in their life. Its part of life.

In other words, don't be selfish. Support her instead.

 

[toekramp]

spice it up, turn on some porn, bring in the hookers, get her interested again

 

[GrantMeThePower]

Originally posted by: brandonb

Originally posted by: GrantMeThePower
No, thats totally true. But believe me I romance it up...I think that the stress levels are really true. She's under a TON of stress. She works full time and is a full time student and is struggling with some of her personal beliefs about religion and politics and social justice and is right in the middle of deciding to change her major. She wanted to be a psychiatrist and is changing-thats a pretty big life decision to want to be a doctor and then change your mind. She's meeting a lot of people at school that are challenging the way she looks at the world and is thinking a LOT about what more she could do to help people. The last thing she thinks about right now is sex and our relationship.

If you care about her and love her, you will just wait it out. Try not to make it worse by forcing her into sex when she isn't really into it.

Have some patience, people go through ups and downs in their life. Its part of life.

In other words, don't be selfish. Support her instead.

You know, I hear what you say and it rings true and makes sense. But its so hard because of the doubts and fears that creep through. Because I do really care about her, and I'm worried that its a downward spiral.

And I would never 'force' her to have sex....if she doesn't want to then thats that. But I do have the ability to end the relationship, regardless of how much I dont want to.

I guess I dont know how to find the right mindset to believe and hope that things get better and to not let the no sex thing bother me

 

[Ktulu]

Originally posted by: brandonb

Originally posted by: GrantMeThePower
No, thats totally true. But believe me I romance it up...I think that the stress levels are really true. She's under a TON of stress. She works full time and is a full time student and is struggling with some of her personal beliefs about religion and politics and social justice and is right in the middle of deciding to change her major. She wanted to be a psychiatrist and is changing-thats a pretty big life decision to want to be a doctor and then change your mind. She's meeting a lot of people at school that are challenging the way she looks at the world and is thinking a LOT about what more she could do to help people. The last thing she thinks about right now is sex and our relationship.

If you care about her and love her, you will just wait it out. Try not to make it worse by forcing her into sex when she isn't really into it.

Have some patience, people go through ups and downs in their life. Its part of life.

In other words, don't be selfish. Support her instead.

Exactly, you may be in the same situation in the future with your current gf or someone else. And it's worse for guys, we have to worry about ED.

 

[FP]

Originally posted by: GrantMeThePower
The g.f. gave that B.S. thing last night about just not feeling like it. That her sex drive is down...from a guys perspective, there is no such thing. But thats what she said. How long is this acceptable for? One night? One Week? One month?

How long had it been since the last time?

 

[GrantMeThePower]

Originally posted by: toekramp
spice it up, turn on some porn, bring in the hookers, get her interested again

lol...porn+hookers=not a happy gf. made that mistake before.

(i'm kidding....1/2 kidding)

 

[GrantMeThePower]

Originally posted by: binister

Originally posted by: GrantMeThePower
The g.f. gave that B.S. thing last night about just not feeling like it. That her sex drive is down...from a guys perspective, there is no such thing. But thats what she said. How long is this acceptable for? One night? One Week? One month?

How long had it been since the last time?

Last week we had sex 3 times....and we only see each other like 2 days a week. Last time was last Wednesday morning before work.

 

[apac]

Originally posted by: GrantMeThePower

Originally posted by: brandonb

Originally posted by: GrantMeThePower
No, thats totally true. But believe me I romance it up...I think that the stress levels are really true. She's under a TON of stress. She works full time and is a full time student and is struggling with some of her personal beliefs about religion and politics and social justice and is right in the middle of deciding to change her major. She wanted to be a psychiatrist and is changing-thats a pretty big life decision to want to be a doctor and then change your mind. She's meeting a lot of people at school that are challenging the way she looks at the world and is thinking a LOT about what more she could do to help people. The last thing she thinks about right now is sex and our relationship.

If you care about her and love her, you will just wait it out. Try not to make it worse by forcing her into sex when she isn't really into it.

Have some patience, people go through ups and downs in their life. Its part of life.

In other words, don't be selfish. Support her instead.

You know, I hear what you say and it rings true and makes sense. But its so hard because of the doubts and fears that creep through. Because I do really care about her, and I'm worried that its a downward spiral.

And I would never 'force' her to have sex....if she doesn't want to then thats that. But I do have the ability to end the relationship, regardless of how much I dont want to.

I guess I dont know how to find the right mindset to believe and hope that things get better and to not let the no sex thing bother me

I know exactly what you mean because I'm much further along the spiral than you (6+ months of her being very, very stressed). If you love her, and you think it's worth staying for, then hold on - but only she knows how long it will be.

 

[DVad3r]

Sounds to me like your GF has other things on her mind and is just making up and excuse. No normal person would push away sex with someone they liked. Sure there are circumstances when sex can be put on hold because of RL issues, but not for a long amount of time. If she is stressed out then a good pounding would release her stress and make her relax. Every chick knows that. Pound her hard, get kinky if you need to, bring out the paddle and leash...Mmmmm....

 

[chambersc]

My definition of a relationship built on love and respect can endure an infinite spell of no sex. I'm not that shallow and disrespectful.

 

[Golgatha]

Originally posted by: GrantMeThePower

Originally posted by: toekramp
spice it up, turn on some porn, bring in the hookers, get her interested again

lol...porn+hookers=not a happy gf. made that mistake before.

(i'm kidding....1/2 kidding)

1/2 kidding? The porn or hookers part?

 

[Golgatha]

Originally posted by: apac

Originally posted by: GrantMeThePower

Originally posted by: brandonb

Originally posted by: GrantMeThePower
No, thats totally true. But believe me I romance it up...I think that the stress levels are really true. She's under a TON of stress. She works full time and is a full time student and is struggling with some of her personal beliefs about religion and politics and social justice and is right in the middle of deciding to change her major. She wanted to be a psychiatrist and is changing-thats a pretty big life decision to want to be a doctor and then change your mind. She's meeting a lot of people at school that are challenging the way she looks at the world and is thinking a LOT about what more she could do to help people. The last thing she thinks about right now is sex and our relationship.

If you care about her and love her, you will just wait it out. Try not to make it worse by forcing her into sex when she isn't really into it.

Have some patience, people go through ups and downs in their life. Its part of life.

In other words, don't be selfish. Support her instead.

You know, I hear what you say and it rings true and makes sense. But its so hard because of the doubts and fears that creep through. Because I do really care about her, and I'm worried that its a downward spiral.

And I would never 'force' her to have sex....if she doesn't want to then thats that. But I do have the ability to end the relationship, regardless of how much I dont want to.

I guess I dont know how to find the right mindset to believe and hope that things get better and to not let the no sex thing bother me

I know exactly what you mean because I'm much further along the spiral than you (6+ months of her being very, very stressed). If you love her, and you think it's worth staying for, then hold on - but only she knows how long it will be.

Ok, I've been through surgery, my wife had our 2nd son on January 3rd, 2007, and we're both extremely stressed most of the time; yet we've had sex much greater than once every 6months. 6+months is ridiculous if either of you have any sex drive what-so-ever.

 

[sadffffff]

forget about the sex, and dont act ike you want it...she'll be horny by nighttime. but if you try to get all touchy, you'll never get it back, for some reason girls dont want to be chased like that, weird.

all girls have a touch of crazy

 

[Golgatha]

Originally posted by: chambersc
My definition of a relationship built on love and respect can endure an infinite spell of no sex. I'm not that shallow and disrespectful.

BS. Sex is a natural and physical expression of the love you have for one another.

 

[apac]

Originally posted by: Golgatha

Originally posted by: apac

Originally posted by: GrantMeThePower

Originally posted by: brandonb

Originally posted by: GrantMeThePower
No, thats totally true. But believe me I romance it up...I think that the stress levels are really true. She's under a TON of stress. She works full time and is a full time student and is struggling with some of her personal beliefs about religion and politics and social justice and is right in the middle of deciding to change her major. She wanted to be a psychiatrist and is changing-thats a pretty big life decision to want to be a doctor and then change your mind. She's meeting a lot of people at school that are challenging the way she looks at the world and is thinking a LOT about what more she could do to help people. The last thing she thinks about right now is sex and our relationship.

If you care about her and love her, you will just wait it out. Try not to make it worse by forcing her into sex when she isn't really into it.

Have some patience, people go through ups and downs in their life. Its part of life.

In other words, don't be selfish. Support her instead.

You know, I hear what you say and it rings true and makes sense. But its so hard because of the doubts and fears that creep through. Because I do really care about her, and I'm worried that its a downward spiral.

And I would never 'force' her to have sex....if she doesn't want to then thats that. But I do have the ability to end the relationship, regardless of how much I dont want to.

I guess I dont know how to find the right mindset to believe and hope that things get better and to not let the no sex thing bother me

I know exactly what you mean because I'm much further along the spiral than you (6+ months of her being very, very stressed). If you love her, and you think it's worth staying for, then hold on - but only she knows how long it will be.

Ok, I've been through surgery, my wife had our 2nd son on January 3rd, 2007, and we're both extremely stressed most of the time. 6+months is ridiculous if either of you have any sex drive what-so-ever.

Oh, you misunderstand. It's not a 6 month dry spell, just 6 months where there has been considerably less spontaneous sex and a lot more of the 'I can't do anything tonight I've got too much to do'. Case in point, she went to sleep at 4 am last night because she has having sleep hallucinations and couldn't work any more...and then woke up at 8 this morning and started working again. On one hand I love her, but on the other shes got so much work that the relationship suffers, which makes her even more depressed because it's not what she wants, etc...

As I said, downward spiral.

edit: it's her last semester of undergrad

 

[ITJunkie]

Originally posted by: LolaWiz
I feel that the "no sex" thing is sooo wrong to put upon a spouse/s/o.
I would never do that ever. Don't put up with it.

You...madam...are a GEM!!! Please contact my wife immediately and explain this to her 😛

Seriously though, my wife is of the same mind as you. She totally rocks my world!! :heart: