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How do you wipe?

R

raptor13

Golden Member
So I got into a discussion with my friend about this (don't ask why) and we had some disagreement about the best way to clean yourself up after you make an offering to the porcelein goddess. In lay terms: How do you wipe after you dump a load?

The way I see it, there are only a few options:

  • Squatting My friend prefers this - a sort of half-standing, half-sitting position I have dubbed "squatting." Apparently, you sort of hover above the toilet seat and commence wiping. I wouldn't know.
  • Leaning This is my position of choice. You just lean onto one side of the seat, thus lifting your other half off the seat and providing access to a paper-clad wiping hand. This makes the most sense to me as it involves minimal effort and allows you to remain (mostly) seated.
  • Standing I don't understand why anyone would ever do this but apparently you can full out stand up and wipe. The mechanics of this seem far from natural to me but to each his own, I suppose.
  • Other I've run out of ideas as to what this category might possibly constitute but I imagine there are more techniques than those previously discussed. If you choose other, please enlighten the lot of us as to what exactly you do.


So, that said, how do you wipe?
 
CStroman:


Do you mean to say that you just sit there and wipe? If so, then it seems to me that you would be wiping front to back and that, as all logic dictates, is just wrong. Disgustingly, horribly wrong.
 


<< I lean - If I stand up - my cheeks come together - thus hindering wiping 🙂 >>

yup.. just dont work for me either... leaner... 😀
 


<< CStroman:


Do you mean to say that you just sit there and wipe? If so, then it seems to me that you would be wiping front to back and that, as all logic dictates, is just wrong. Disgustingly, horribly wrong. >>



I don't do it, I lean, but I know it has been done.
 


<< What is wrong with between the legs? >>





If you mean reaching between your legs while still seated on the toilet I'll tell you exactly what's wrong with it. There is only a small space in which to insert your hand holding the pape between your legs and under your ass. When you have finished the wiping you have to examine the toilet paper to determine if a secondary (or in some cases even a third wipe) is nesscesary. To accomplish this you have to remove your hand and the pape from under your ass and back thru the aforementioned small space. In doing so you risk brushing the soiled pape against your legs or even your genatailia, which in my opinion is unacceptable.
 
Stand up, bend over, spread your cheeks, and wipe. I see no answer that describes this adequately 😛
 
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