Bignate603
Lifer
- Sep 5, 2000
- 13,897
- 1
- 0
i don't have children.
but if i do, i'm sure i won't throw them out of a moving vehicle like my father did to me. i hate that man.
but if i do, i'm sure i won't throw them out of a moving vehicle like my father did to me. i hate that man.
<< i see these kids nowadays...and all i can say is, "that kid needs his ass whipped" therefore, i say beat your kids in line. bring back the wooden paddle. >>
Or why not just the standard cigarette burning?
I cannot believe that we haven't gotten any further in our evolution, if i would ever harm my kids physically, i would ask someone to put a bullet through my head...
You can do a lot of things to mess your kids up, physical abuse is only one of the techniques...
Elita1, you need a good spanking for your statements...
Kids will be kids, if they would always behave perfectly, how would they ever learn anything, i don't think you can beat it into them, just be a good role model and tell then when they are doing something wrong, try talking with them, sometimes yelling is a good way to scare them, but spanking them or in any way hurting them physically makes you no better than those other child abusers, think about it..
Patrick
If I was able to have children, they wouldn't have to be punished. They'd be perfect little angels, just like I was.
LordMaul
Lifer
- Nov 16, 2000
- 15,168
- 1
- 0
To all those against any form of physical punishment:
Look at the parents say, 50 years ago. They spanked their kids when they got out of line. Some went overboard. Some didn't. Some people, when asked if their parents spanked them as a kid in that day and age, will say yes, and that they didn't like it and they still don't like it that their parents did that "to them". But did they turn out good? Damn right they did. DId they smart off, called their mom's/dad's assholes and bitches? No way in hell. Did they act like most of the hyperactive kids of today? No way.
Now look at the kids nowdays. They smart off. They act stupid. They join gangs. They won't obey their parents because they never had a fear of what would happen when they didn't. So freaking WHAT, you took away soda pop for a month!
BIG WHOOPDEE DOO!
They say, "Hmm...I'll go to the gas station and get some!" or "Screw you. I'll buy it at school."
Buy it at school? How will they do that? Because they probably get an allowance. Or just money, here and there. OK, so you take away their allowances, right? That'll solve it all, right? Nope. What will they do, you say? They'll steal some $$$. Or borrow it and never pay it back. Why? Because they never feared getting the "Wrath Of The Old Man".
Soo, be nice to your kids. They'll be GREAT nominees for truck drivers, Darwin Awards, or hobos. They'll smart off. Never act nice. If they do? Damn, you're lucky. But they'll never fully understand what will happen if they f!ck up.
To those who are supportive of proper "Use of the Rod": Just make sure you don't go overboard. And don't go UNDERboard, if you will, either. Your children will think it is OK to do it some of the time and not NEVER...or they'll just never do it "so you can see". IE, they'll do things behind your back. Especially if you don't teach them properly.
To those who beat the sh!t out their kids: Please give me your address. I'll be there in about one hour...better have a bullet-proof vest, fscker. :|
Oops, was that out loud?
Look at the parents say, 50 years ago. They spanked their kids when they got out of line. Some went overboard. Some didn't. Some people, when asked if their parents spanked them as a kid in that day and age, will say yes, and that they didn't like it and they still don't like it that their parents did that "to them". But did they turn out good? Damn right they did. DId they smart off, called their mom's/dad's assholes and bitches? No way in hell. Did they act like most of the hyperactive kids of today? No way.
Now look at the kids nowdays. They smart off. They act stupid. They join gangs. They won't obey their parents because they never had a fear of what would happen when they didn't. So freaking WHAT, you took away soda pop for a month!
BIG WHOOPDEE DOO!
They say, "Hmm...I'll go to the gas station and get some!" or "Screw you. I'll buy it at school."
Buy it at school? How will they do that? Because they probably get an allowance. Or just money, here and there. OK, so you take away their allowances, right? That'll solve it all, right? Nope. What will they do, you say? They'll steal some $$$. Or borrow it and never pay it back. Why? Because they never feared getting the "Wrath Of The Old Man".
Soo, be nice to your kids. They'll be GREAT nominees for truck drivers, Darwin Awards, or hobos. They'll smart off. Never act nice. If they do? Damn, you're lucky. But they'll never fully understand what will happen if they f!ck up.
To those who are supportive of proper "Use of the Rod": Just make sure you don't go overboard. And don't go UNDERboard, if you will, either. Your children will think it is OK to do it some of the time and not NEVER...or they'll just never do it "so you can see". IE, they'll do things behind your back. Especially if you don't teach them properly.
To those who beat the sh!t out their kids: Please give me your address. I'll be there in about one hour...better have a bullet-proof vest, fscker. :|
Oops, was that out loud?
<<
<< With my 3 yr old, we usually only spank her if she is doing something that will hurt herself or hurt someone else. Otherwise, either she or her toys goes into time-out for 3 minutes. >>
That is right cause only you are allowed to hurt her.
I think people that hit or spank are dumb and mean. >>
You do not spank to hurt, if you do that is abuse. A tap on the rear end is not going to damage anyone, physically or emotionally. Now that said, I was spanked once growing up, by my father. They always raised me to respect them, and vice versa. The fear of losing their respect was worse than any spanking could have been.
<< Kids will be kids, if they would always behave perfectly, how would they ever learn anything, i don't think you can beat it into them >>
Sure you can. You just have to beat them hard enough.
Seriously though, I may not be a genius but I do know that no two kids are alike (even in the same family). So while giving little johnny a "timeout" might be enough to straighten him out, little timmy might need a good swat to the behind to keep him in line. If you actually think that a "good talking to" is going to keep all kids in line then you are seriously deluded my friend. I come from a HUGE family and everyone (brothers, sisters, cousins, etc...) had to be raised differently. Some people would straighten up with only a look from dear old dad, while others would need a good spanking before they were put in their place.
There is no right or wrong answer when it comes to spanking kids. Some kids need it and other kids don't. If you doubt my words then I think you should really spend a bit of time with some of my family. You'll be reaching for your belt after 1 hour. Guaranteed
LordMaul, that's a pretty unsubstantiated statment that you made there. How can you say that what you perceive as problematic kids in today's society is a direct result of parents not spanking their kids? Many things have changed in the last 50 years, how can you pinpoint physical punishment as the direct cause of well behaved children? I'm not gonna say that I think kids today aren't any worse than they were 50 years ago(hell, I wasn't even alive then), but numerous factors could account for an overall decline in juvenile behavior(increasing divorce rates, population growth, violence in the media, etc..)
I cannot stand it when you people try to classify spanking as abuse!
A spanking is a whap on the bum. It does not hurt the child emotionally or physically. It stings for no more than a few seconds, which will get the child?s attention. You then send them to their room for maybe 20 minutes to think about what they did. After the timeout, you talk to them about why they got spanked, and if they follow the rules and stay out of trouble, they don't get spanked again.
No kid wants to be spanked, but when you do spank them, then talk to them about it, chances are they wont do it again because they now know they are gonna get spanked and sent to their room instead of being out playing with something or their friends.
Spanking is a form of discipline not abuse.
A spanking is a whap on the bum. It does not hurt the child emotionally or physically. It stings for no more than a few seconds, which will get the child?s attention. You then send them to their room for maybe 20 minutes to think about what they did. After the timeout, you talk to them about why they got spanked, and if they follow the rules and stay out of trouble, they don't get spanked again.
No kid wants to be spanked, but when you do spank them, then talk to them about it, chances are they wont do it again because they now know they are gonna get spanked and sent to their room instead of being out playing with something or their friends.
Spanking is a form of discipline not abuse.
but if i do, i'm sure i won't throw them out of a moving vehicle like my father did to me. i hate that man.
I know how you feel and I feel sorry for you. Just don't be like him and you have rewarded yourself.
To everyone who does believe in punishment:
My 8 year old son came up to me last night and said he was grounded for breaking the sprinkler. He ALWAYS tells me when he has done something wrong and WE discuss his punishment. He does not act up in public, he gets straight A's, doesn't 'mouth-off' and always says please and thank you. My fiancee's children are indentical in their actions. Their friends parents laud us for our childrens behaviour when the spend time at their houses. Neither of us has hit our children. My only assumption can be that those of you who hit; will ALWAYS have to, those of us who spent the time to not have to, never will. You come to your own conclusions.
(yes, I do think hitting a child is wrong.)
I know how you feel and I feel sorry for you. Just don't be like him and you have rewarded yourself.
To everyone who does believe in punishment:
My 8 year old son came up to me last night and said he was grounded for breaking the sprinkler. He ALWAYS tells me when he has done something wrong and WE discuss his punishment. He does not act up in public, he gets straight A's, doesn't 'mouth-off' and always says please and thank you. My fiancee's children are indentical in their actions. Their friends parents laud us for our childrens behaviour when the spend time at their houses. Neither of us has hit our children. My only assumption can be that those of you who hit; will ALWAYS have to, those of us who spent the time to not have to, never will. You come to your own conclusions.
(yes, I do think hitting a child is wrong.)
Pliablemoose
Lifer
- Oct 11, 1999
- 25,195
- 0
- 56
We spank, and it works. I had a strict no touch policy, but in the process of having a psychologist interview our now 8 year old, he suggested we start to spank our children, he also suggested that if they (children) aren't under control by age 10, that you've lost them.
Had the head shrinker eval our 8 year old for use as an expert witness, her biological father was smoking pot in front of her during his visitation time with her. When we got through with him in court, he can only see her for 10 hours every other Saturday, and no overnights.
It was a tough decision to limit the visitation so much, but he earned it, and provided a dirty urine test for the court (that really set off the judge, cuz he lied about his drug use)
I really don't like spanking, but children need to focus in on the sound of your voice & do what you ask them to. If you yell @ them, it just desensitizes them to the sound of your raised voice & you'll be yelling for a long time.
BTW, the head shrinker recommended using a wooden spoon and 10 swats, and he has a thriving business, evidently much of it is in telling parents it's ok to spank their kids.
Had the head shrinker eval our 8 year old for use as an expert witness, her biological father was smoking pot in front of her during his visitation time with her. When we got through with him in court, he can only see her for 10 hours every other Saturday, and no overnights.
It was a tough decision to limit the visitation so much, but he earned it, and provided a dirty urine test for the court (that really set off the judge, cuz he lied about his drug use)
I really don't like spanking, but children need to focus in on the sound of your voice & do what you ask them to. If you yell @ them, it just desensitizes them to the sound of your raised voice & you'll be yelling for a long time.
BTW, the head shrinker recommended using a wooden spoon and 10 swats, and he has a thriving business, evidently much of it is in telling parents it's ok to spank their kids.
I've never spanked my child (he's 9), but I did slap his hand once, when he was about 2 and reaching for the hot oven door that his dad had left open.
In my own experience, children younger than 2 usually only get in as much trouble as you let them and there aren't any behavioral problems that can't be handled without physically striking them. When he was almost 2, my son decided he liked stand behind me when I was sitting down and bite my head or shoulder. As recommended by his pediatrician, when he did it, I'd immediately get up and leave the room. So he didn't get any attention from me for biting and he also "lost" me for a minute or two. He stopped biting me within a couple of days.
And when kids are older than 2, they're usually capable of understanding rewards and consequences of actions, and there are less destructive consequences than spanking. I don't want my child to fear me, at least not physically. I want him to respect me and want me to respect him, so I do my best to earn it and give it. Which means no spanking.
I have seen kids that looked like they could use a swat on the butt, but I blame their parents more than I do them. Up to a certain point, you're the one who controls your kids' environment, and if you put them in a situation where they think it's okay to get out of control (or have proven that they can't be in control of themselves), then it's your fault when they act up.
In my own experience, children younger than 2 usually only get in as much trouble as you let them and there aren't any behavioral problems that can't be handled without physically striking them. When he was almost 2, my son decided he liked stand behind me when I was sitting down and bite my head or shoulder. As recommended by his pediatrician, when he did it, I'd immediately get up and leave the room. So he didn't get any attention from me for biting and he also "lost" me for a minute or two. He stopped biting me within a couple of days.
And when kids are older than 2, they're usually capable of understanding rewards and consequences of actions, and there are less destructive consequences than spanking. I don't want my child to fear me, at least not physically. I want him to respect me and want me to respect him, so I do my best to earn it and give it. Which means no spanking.
I have seen kids that looked like they could use a swat on the butt, but I blame their parents more than I do them. Up to a certain point, you're the one who controls your kids' environment, and if you put them in a situation where they think it's okay to get out of control (or have proven that they can't be in control of themselves), then it's your fault when they act up.
"my son decided he liked stand behind me when I was sitting down and bite my head or shoulder. As recommended by his pediatrician, when he did it, I'd immediately get up and leave the room."
Did it ever occur to you if you stopped sitting on him he would stop biting you? ;-) j/k
Personally I beleive in a little swat on the butt when needed, which after the first one has been very seldom.
Did it ever occur to you if you stopped sitting on him he would stop biting you? ;-) j/k
Personally I beleive in a little swat on the butt when needed, which after the first one has been very seldom.
I make them eat dried rice, and when the rice expands and puffs up in their stomach, I kick them in the gut, causing their stomachs to explode. Ohh wait, that's what the Japanese soldiers did to American POW's. What were we talking about again?
It's my understanding that there is no evidence whatsoever that beating/spanking your kids causes them to behave better. There *is* evidence that using positive reinforcement creates better behaved, better adjusted kids in the long run. There was an article recently in the Skeptical Inquirer that mentioned this, but it's not online, so I can't link it.
Of course, when did evidence convince anyone who has a Conviction about Something Really Important, even if they Don't Have Any Evidence Whatsoever?
Damn bleeding hearts letting their kids run wild!
-brennan
Of course, when did evidence convince anyone who has a Conviction about Something Really Important, even if they Don't Have Any Evidence Whatsoever?
Damn bleeding hearts letting their kids run wild!
-brennan
Oh, Tauren, you HAVE to be wrong! Didn't you read some of the "excellent posts" above? If you don't smack your kids, they'll run out of control, mouth off, smoke, drink, destroy the car, become terrorists, start a nuclear war, and kill God!
Seriously, though, way to be a reasonable parent.
-brennan
Seriously, though, way to be a reasonable parent.
-brennan
First, I don't believe in all this new age BS that somehow spanking is 'abuse' etc. Nonsense.
As several people have mentioned, physical punishment should not be done in anger, it is simple one of many tools to help a parent teach a child what behavior is appropriate.
Having said that, I think it completely depends on the personality of the child. My sisters and male cousin never needed to be spanked. They responded to other forms of punishment. I myself thank God that my parents kicked my butt every now and again when I got out of line. Other forms of punishments simply did not work with me. Witholding things, revoking preveliges etc was all useless to me. Knowing that if I didn't do something, my dad would eventually come home and kick my butt -- that worked.
Children are very capable of understanding the difference between being hit unfairly and arbitrarily versus being punished based on a certain standard. As long as the punishment is consistent and not done in anger, they will be fine.
Creightonsgirl,<< He stopped biting me within a couple of days.>>
Yep, and a good swat on the butt would have cured him of that behavior in minutes. Don't get me wrong, I think your method is great. I just don't think it's the only way to go. Either method is fine. What about if a child is in daycare? The daycare worker can't "leave the child alone" under any circumstances, and can't possibly have enough time to work on specific kids behavior. They count on the parents to have taught the kids what's OK.
It appears to me that (not all, but certainly many) parents these days are too worried about being their kids' "friend" or confidant instead of being a parent. Too worried about self esteem and not enough about setting a good structure.
As several people have mentioned, physical punishment should not be done in anger, it is simple one of many tools to help a parent teach a child what behavior is appropriate.
Having said that, I think it completely depends on the personality of the child. My sisters and male cousin never needed to be spanked. They responded to other forms of punishment. I myself thank God that my parents kicked my butt every now and again when I got out of line. Other forms of punishments simply did not work with me. Witholding things, revoking preveliges etc was all useless to me. Knowing that if I didn't do something, my dad would eventually come home and kick my butt -- that worked.
Children are very capable of understanding the difference between being hit unfairly and arbitrarily versus being punished based on a certain standard. As long as the punishment is consistent and not done in anger, they will be fine.
Creightonsgirl,<< He stopped biting me within a couple of days.>>
Yep, and a good swat on the butt would have cured him of that behavior in minutes. Don't get me wrong, I think your method is great. I just don't think it's the only way to go. Either method is fine. What about if a child is in daycare? The daycare worker can't "leave the child alone" under any circumstances, and can't possibly have enough time to work on specific kids behavior. They count on the parents to have taught the kids what's OK.
It appears to me that (not all, but certainly many) parents these days are too worried about being their kids' "friend" or confidant instead of being a parent. Too worried about self esteem and not enough about setting a good structure.
brennan, positive reinforcement is definitely a good thing, and is the preferred method. There's plenty of research that shows that positive reinforcement is effective. It's REALLY hard to show in any scientific way that spanking works, because there are too many factors that go into it. Like I said, it depends on the personality of the child.... Thus, perhaps only 40% of kids 'need' some type of spanking to correct their behavior. For the other 60%, there might be no such need.
I'm always weary of any studies that make any claims as to what is good or what is bad when it comes to raising kids because each child and their environment is different, and just about all of the studies are done by people that have their own preconceived notions of what should be done.
I'm always weary of any studies that make any claims as to what is good or what is bad when it comes to raising kids because each child and their environment is different, and just about all of the studies are done by people that have their own preconceived notions of what should be done.
<< Creightonsgirl,<< He stopped biting me within a couple of days.>>
Yep, and a good swat on the butt would have cured him of that behavior in minutes. Don't get me wrong, I think your method is great. I just don't think it's the only way to go. Either method is fine. What about if a child is in daycare? The daycare worker can't "leave the child alone" under any circumstances, and can't possibly have enough time to work on specific kids behavior. They count on the parents to have taught the kids what's OK. >>
No problem - it's just not the way I chose to go and what I did worked for me in what I considered a reasonable amount of time. I was smacked, slapped and beaten with wooden spoons, paddles, flyswatters and whatever else happened to fall into my mother's hand when she was mad at me. I managed to turn out mostly okay, so obviously none of it permanently warped me, I just choose to parent differently.
To each his own.
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