How do you punish your children? *update with retort*

[obiwaynekenobi]

I don't spank my childern, they get verbally scolded and sent in a time out.. which isn't working anymore becayser well.. my oldest thinks it's funny...

I have spanked my oldest child twice... when she hurting someone. that's the rule in my house you spank only if they hurt someone else or they could hurt themselves.

I figured her bouncing on her 4 month old sister classifed as hurting someone else...

 

[Elita1]

PCresources:


<< Elita1, you need a good spanking for your statements... >>


Excuse me, but what the hell are you talking about?
Did you even READ my post, or did you just happen across the word &quot;spank&quot; and see red?
At what point did I say I wallop children with a stick for fun because I am heartless?
At what point did I say I would willingly inflict pain on a child?
Your idea of spanking is certainly NOT my idea of a spanking.
To me a spank is a light swat, not at all to inflict pain, in CERTAIN cases with CERTAIN types of behavior with CERTAIN kinds of children it is sometimes the only way they learn.
You sir, are quick to judge without thinking. More than likely your children may turn out to be a handful.



<< Or why not just the standard cigarette burning? >>


to equate parental discipline with child abuse is nothing short of idiotic.



<< You can do a lot of things to mess your kids up, physical abuse is only one of the techniques... >>


Not teaching them any form of respect, self-control and obedience is another GREAT way to mess them up. You want to know another? yell at them. Scream your lungs out. Not only do you teach them to scream at others but they learn to tune you out. You want to know another? psychological abuse and manipulation. I have seen it all TOO often with parents who do this and let me tell you the kind of emotional baggage these children carry into adulthood is NOT pretty.



<< Kids will be kids, if they would always behave perfectly, how would they ever learn anything, i don't think you can beat it into them, just be a good role model and tell then when they are doing something wrong, try talking with them, sometimes yelling is a good way to scare them, but spanking them or in any way hurting them physically makes you no better than those other child abusers, think about it.. >>


I completely agree with you here on certain points:
-Yes, kids make mistakes. We parents do too, all the time. You do your family a great service by admitting this and being humble and always willing to learn.
-Kids learn by what you do. That is true but we must also instill in them values that will make them upright human beings and explain to them carefully why it is so important. NEVER in ANY post have I said that you should &quot;beat&quot; kids, let alone beat them every time they err.

But as for the rest of your post you sound like you still need a lot of learning to do about children and families, and I hope to God you gain some wisdom before you have a family and learn to be prudent about mouthing off to people when you don't know what the HELL you are talking about.

 

[Double Trouble]

Creightonsgirl, Elita1, you both make a lot of sense, I agree with you 100%. Perhaps this discussion should be limited to those that have actual parenting experience

 

[monto]

<< spare the rod and spoil the child.

My parents were able to keep me on the straight and narrow by instilling in me the fear of disappointing them... I'm not real sure how they did this, but when I have kids I'm going to ask for some help on it.

To this day I'm still deathly afraid of disappointing them, even though they tell me I've already exceeding their expectations tenfold. >>

hmm, wouldn't you be so afraid of failure you lose urge to achieve anything?

 

[Ryan]

<<
No problem - it's just not the way I chose to go and what I did worked for me in what I considered a reasonable amount of time. I was smacked, slapped and beaten with wooden spoons, paddles, flyswatters and whatever else happened to fall into my mother's hand when she was mad at me. I managed to turn out mostly okay, so obviously none of it permanently warped me, I just choose to parent differently.

To each his own. >>



Th same thing happend to me, and I think I turned out pretty normal. I'm not a parent yet, and I'm glad that I'm not. ow, I might give a spanking very rarely, but I think I'll use alternate methods of punishment.

 

[PCResources]

<< Excuse me, but what the hell are you talking about? >>



Lighten up will you, i read your post, so where do you draw the line between spanking and abuse? When it hurts?



<< You sir, are quick to judge without thinking. More than likely your children may turn out to be a handful. >>



LOL, talk about being quick to judge... My children are 10 and 11 years old today, they are very helpful and polite children, my sisters children are a handful though, but i think that has more to do with the amount of time she spends with them than the lack of spanking, i do not need to beat respect into my kids, it comes naturally...



<< to equate parental discipline with child abuse is nothing short of idiotic. >>



My note regarding the cigarette burning was not directed at you, if you would have bothered to read the quote you would see that... It was meant as a comparison to wooden paddles...



<< But as for the rest of your post you sound like you still need a lot of learning to do about children and families, and I hope to God you gain some wisdom before you have a family and learn to be prudent about mouthing off to people when you don't know what the HELL you are talking about. >>



LOL again @ Elita1, you say that i do not know what the hell i am talking about, but you do not know what the hell you are talking about, i do have a family, i do have two children, a son named Johan 10 Years old and a daughter named Jennifer 11 years old...

Just out of curiosity.. how old are your children now?

Patrick