SagaLore
Elite Member
- Dec 18, 2001
- 24,036
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You think a mild slap across the face is wrong in any circumstance?
I was slapped twice when I was old enough to remember, I remember it because it was unexpected and fearful. I never repeated again what invoked the slap.
Slapping is a reserved response - which I think should only be used in two cases, 1. When the child hits the parente 2. When the child says "I hate you" to the parent (at the younger age)
Those two instances are intolerable - and letting that go is completely destructive to the family. I have a nephew who is 7 now and hits his mom, and now his younger sister who is 2 is doing it too just because he sees him doing it. Now at that age, he will never stop... just wait until he is an adolescent teenager and doesn't like what his mom has to say.
Slapping may be appropriate for older children in extreme circumstances, but not for a two year old. Their butt is nice & padded, it will sting but the lasting impact is emotional - Not physical. Slapping a two year old is just ASKING to hurt them.
Viper GTS
Slapping an 18-month old across the face is sick. Period.
If you were to slap your 16-year old boy for raising his hand at his mother, I wouldn't have a problem with that. But an 18-month old does not grasp the same concepts.
If you were to slap your 16-year old boy for raising his hand at his mother, I wouldn't have a problem with that. But an 18-month old does not grasp the same concepts.
Those last four words tell the story. Yes, you certainly can discuss such things with a 2-year old. And yes, if you put it into context that they can understand, rationalization works.
No, they don't. Not even the same. A puppy is not a human being. It does not have the same rational and the same feelings. It's not even comparable, and I feel sorry for the kid who is parented by someone who thinks that they deserve the same as a dog.
Touche! That was the first line I've read in this miserable thread that made me smile.No we save the right hooks to the jaw for people like you.
SageLore, are you just desperate to talk? What's with replies with just about every post in this thread?
BTW, my siblings behaved very well since they were babies compared to other kids. My other sister (who is 19 now) and I raised them more than my parents did, although they did live in Korea for a couple of years and came back to Canada last year to live with us (my parents are in Korea).
And just to clarify, I originally misunderstood spanking with beating. Then after talking to nik, I distinguished the two but did point out that a lot of parents think that they are spanking although they are beating.
I didn't intend to impose my system on anybody. After all, I am experimenting with it myself and who knows what the outcome will be like. It requires a lot of integrity. It requires me to look into myself before I criticize them. In a lot of cases, conflicts arise because of my problems, not theirs. What's even better is that this practice is gradually getting adopted by my siblings. My 12-year-old sister and my 8-year-old brother increasingly check for problems within themselves before venting their frustrations on others.
Also, I think that this could work if I were their parents also. I lived with them and took care of them since they were babies. Although not as frequently as my grandma and my sister did, I changed their diapers too. The only difference, as far as I see, would be that they were not born from my sperms.
Spanking is unnecessary in our family and it will remain that way, UNLESS there arises any issues that cannot be resolved through proper communication.
BTW, PlatinumGold, that was an interesting post. I see your point.
A lot of crazy kids I've seen were tolerated to do whatever the hell they felt like doing in their early ages. They get spanked (or beaten) a lot but doesn't do sh*t to change their behaviour.
I do have a strong bias against beating (justified as "spanking for love") and I despise it with a passion. My brother is 8 and he sits down and listens to me. His attention span is not long but that is expected from an 8-year-old. Another common mistake I've seen is that because some parents vent and try to fix everything all at once, they expect their children to remain attentive for hours. Then they beat the child because they don't pay attention. They might as well teach a dog how to use a computer.
BTW, my siblings behaved very well since they were babies compared to other kids. My other sister (who is 19 now) and I raised them more than my parents did, although they did live in Korea for a couple of years and came back to Canada last year to live with us (my parents are in Korea).
And just to clarify, I originally misunderstood spanking with beating. Then after talking to nik, I distinguished the two but did point out that a lot of parents think that they are spanking although they are beating.
I didn't intend to impose my system on anybody. After all, I am experimenting with it myself and who knows what the outcome will be like. It requires a lot of integrity. It requires me to look into myself before I criticize them. In a lot of cases, conflicts arise because of my problems, not theirs. What's even better is that this practice is gradually getting adopted by my siblings. My 12-year-old sister and my 8-year-old brother increasingly check for problems within themselves before venting their frustrations on others.
Also, I think that this could work if I were their parents also. I lived with them and took care of them since they were babies. Although not as frequently as my grandma and my sister did, I changed their diapers too. The only difference, as far as I see, would be that they were not born from my sperms.
Spanking is unnecessary in our family and it will remain that way, UNLESS there arises any issues that cannot be resolved through proper communication.
BTW, PlatinumGold, that was an interesting post. I see your point.
A lot of crazy kids I've seen were tolerated to do whatever the hell they felt like doing in their early ages. They get spanked (or beaten) a lot but doesn't do sh*t to change their behaviour.
I do have a strong bias against beating (justified as "spanking for love") and I despise it with a passion. My brother is 8 and he sits down and listens to me. His attention span is not long but that is expected from an 8-year-old. Another common mistake I've seen is that because some parents vent and try to fix everything all at once, they expect their children to remain attentive for hours. Then they beat the child because they don't pay attention. They might as well teach a dog how to use a computer.
I think this is about the last place I'd come for this sort of advice, no offense. When my children were younger (they are 2 yrs apart) I read a lot of parenting books, watched shows, and attended classes which were very insightful for tacking this sort of situation as well as a many others regarding young children and/or sibling rivalry.
I will tell you that "spanking" did not work for my family, I'm not sorry for that. Spanking seemed to spark sadness and despair all around, and resentment. I guess with enough ass beatings I would have eventually obtained my sought-after 'discipline', I don't know.
You and your wife need to find a consistent parenting style which you are both comfortable with, and one which does not create a situation where one is the evil enforcer and the other the benevolent angel. Check in your community or nearby if there are any sort of classes available, you will learn a lot by attending and a nice plus is you'll be able to discuss your current challenges with other people in very similar situations, it's kind of enjoyable
I will tell you that "spanking" did not work for my family, I'm not sorry for that. Spanking seemed to spark sadness and despair all around, and resentment. I guess with enough ass beatings I would have eventually obtained my sought-after 'discipline', I don't know.
You and your wife need to find a consistent parenting style which you are both comfortable with, and one which does not create a situation where one is the evil enforcer and the other the benevolent angel. Check in your community or nearby if there are any sort of classes available, you will learn a lot by attending and a nice plus is you'll be able to discuss your current challenges with other people in very similar situations, it's kind of enjoyable
Originally posted by: Wingznut PEZ
Touche! That was the first line I've read in this miserable thread that made me smile.No we save the right hooks to the jaw for people like you.
HEY!! I thought my post was valid...
I think I'll go pout now
Your kid does this too, huh?
I get a kick out of my 2 YO. When he does something wrong I send him to his bedroom...I first had to carry him to bed when he did something wrong, then after a while I would carry him half way and make him walk the rest of the way, now I just point to his bedroom and tell him to get in bed in a stern voice. After he's been in there a while and stopped crying, he inevitably comes walking out of his room, walks up to me and starts talking away with a smile on his face (you know 2 year olds don't really talk, it's mostly all just jibberish). Then he hands me a Hot Wheels or something and takes off running to his toybox. In his mind we made peace. OK, parents are now coming home from work, so you'll be able to get the real low down now!
Gotta eat dinner, but this link should give you food for thought in the mean time:
Gotta eat dinner, but this link should give you food for thought in the mean time:
First, you go to www.ebay.com
Search for this thing called a "thumb screw"
Win the auction.
Then, once its at home, follow the instructions and apply its use to your 2 year old.
Search for this thing called a "thumb screw"
Win the auction.
Then, once its at home, follow the instructions and apply its use to your 2 year old.
Where did sean2002 go?
How do you punish a 2 year old?"
You have an up hill battle putting things back in order at this point. You're already over a year too late! Matter of fact, you should have had a lot of this stuff down before you got pregnant. People put more thought into their car purchase than they do rearing their kids!
Bad habits will need to be broken now. It's hard enough raising kids without having to undo such a mess. It's like feeding a newborn formula (or even water) from a bottle, and then wondering why it's so hard to get them to breast feed! I guess it's not impossible, but you're going to have to double up on your efforts to "guide" your children, rather than "punish". If you have to punish a two year old, you're the one who has dropped the ball. Hah! Maybe YOU'RE the one who needs to be punished! Oops, too late, you're already in parenting hell from lack of parental training.
Honestly, read, learn and practice everything you can from Montessori, it's your only hope!
How do you punish a 2 year old?"
You have an up hill battle putting things back in order at this point. You're already over a year too late! Matter of fact, you should have had a lot of this stuff down before you got pregnant. People put more thought into their car purchase than they do rearing their kids!
Bad habits will need to be broken now. It's hard enough raising kids without having to undo such a mess. It's like feeding a newborn formula (or even water) from a bottle, and then wondering why it's so hard to get them to breast feed! I guess it's not impossible, but you're going to have to double up on your efforts to "guide" your children, rather than "punish". If you have to punish a two year old, you're the one who has dropped the ball. Hah! Maybe YOU'RE the one who needs to be punished! Oops, too late, you're already in parenting hell from lack of parental training.
Honestly, read, learn and practice everything you can from Montessori, it's your only hope!
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