How do you know when you are gay?

[gopunk]

People are born with their sexual identies already in place, BUT:

How you are raised can make you more or less likely to accept who you are.

nope, it's not a fact, don't state it as such.

Edit: Being sexually molested or tramatized by an individual is a completely different subject than whether or not you are actually gay. Gay tendancies following such an experience are only a symptom of the individual trying to deal with it. It's no different than turning in a pyscho or something. Except less harmful to others, obviously.

you're half right and half wrong. being sexually molested to the point where you exhibit gay tendencies (where "tendencies" = attraction to the same gender) means you are gay. this is how homosexuality is defined, whether or not you are attracted to the same gender. how you got to that point is irrelevant in regards to whether or not you are gay. whether you will find another way of dealing with the trauma and end up not being gay, is also irrelevant. at that point in time, you are gay. i agree, it's no different from insanity. whether somebody is born crazy, or made crazy, is irrelevant when we decide whether to call them crazy or not.

 

[trenchfoot]

well, seeing as if we're on this topic of identity, i wondered how a gay person with multiple personality disorder behaves with the rest of his/her entourage. like, are all the rest of them gay too?

 

[NikPreviousAcct]

1)I have a gay uncle and we have a perfectly good relationship.
2)I have a lesbian aunt and we have a perfectly good relationship.
3)I have a gay cousin and we have a perfectly good relationship.
4)I talk to several people at work who are gay -and get along with them.
5)My current supervisor at work is gay -but he's a jackass.
6)I talk to five different gay people online on a regular basis out of my own free will.

Neither am I gay, nor am I homophobic.

"More Likely" is something like a woman getting hurt so badly by a past experience in life that she did (does) not trust men at all to the point that even her sexual preference has changed.
"More Likely" is something like a man being bored with women so much and hating the weaker sex so much that even his sexual preference has changed.


I do have something meaningful to add to the conversation. I can do it maturely. I have valid sources and reasons for my beliefs. Whether what I think means anything to you or whether you even read my posts, is up to you.

But it's still fun to say "screw you" instead of actually explaining myself -simply because I know I don't have to prove myself to anyone.

 

[OceanFariy]

FFM -- thanks, that was more like it. I can respect a post like that.

 

[OceanFariy]

you're half right and half wrong. being sexually molested to the point where you exhibit gay tendencies (where "tendencies" = attraction to the same gender) means you are gay. this is how homosexuality is defined, whether or not you are attracted to the same gender. how you got to that point is irrelevant in regards to whether or not you are gay. whether you will find another way of dealing with the trauma and end up not being gay, is also irrelevant. at that point in time, you are gay. i agree, it's no different from insanity. whether somebody is born crazy, or made crazy, is irrelevant when we decide whether to call them crazy or not.


If you act black, you aren't black. If you think you are god because you are crazy, you are not god. And if you act gay because you got screwed by your "funny uncle," you're not actually gay.

 

[pulse8]

Like I said.

No one on this board, or probably this Earth at the moment, can answer this question.

 

[gopunk]

If you act black, you aren't black. If you think you are god because you are crazy, you are not god. And if you act gay because you got screwed by your "funny uncle," you're not actually gay.

nice try. being black is defined by the color of your skin. being god... well lets not get into that. being gay is defined by whether or not you are attracted to members of your own gender.

from dictionary.com:

gay (g)
adj. gay·er, gay·est
Of, relating to, or having a sexual orientation to persons of the same sex.

 

[NikPreviousAcct]

<< FFM -- thanks, that was more like it. I can respect a post like that. >>

Why is it that you don't seem to trust people unless they prove themselves to you? Why do I have to prove myself -especially to you? I presented my opinion, and that should be good enough for you. I do not believe that my opinion needs to be justified -especially to anyone else. It's my opinion! And why I think that way should be my knowledge unless I choose to specify so.

But nnnnnooooooooooooo... you have to push it. Actually makes me wonder about you.

 

[OceanFariy]

Being gay and acting gay are completely different. Can you be gay and never have sex with a man? Duh, yes. It's in your head, not your actions.

 

[gopunk]

Being gay and acting gay are completely different. Can you be gay and never have sex with a man? Duh, yes. It's in your head, not your actions.

well yes, but you're making the assumption that those homosexuals (or pretenders, if it makes you happy) are merely "acting" gay. if they are attracted to men, and only men, then they are gay. if they are attracted to women, but have sex with men, then they would be "acting gay". but seriously, have you ever heard of such a case?

 

[AdamDuritz99]

Since i don't want to even touch this topic but i want to post something i'll just say...

How do you know if you are a neffer or not?


peace
sean


....flaming can start NOW!

 

[Xomon]

Gaydom is simply an exercise in narcissism at it's most extreme.

Most gay people simply want to pleasure themselves, but they can't -- so they seek out other penises or vaginas to pleasure. It's not a hard concept to understand.

I've had a number of homosexual experiences, and they have been quite unsatisfying, to say the least. My only hope is that gays and lesbians truly realize their lifestyle produces no fruit. It's all about yourself, regardless of how many fellow gays tell you otherwise. Honestly look inside yourself, and you'll find the blatant answer.

Good luck, and hopefully I won't screw any other men in my lifetime -- Xomon.

 

[OceanFariy]

<<

<< FFM -- thanks, that was more like it. I can respect a post like that. >>

Why is it that you don't seem to trust people unless they prove themselves to you? Why do I have to prove myself -especially to you? I presented my opinion, and that should be good enough for you. I do not believe that my opinion needs to be justified -especially to anyone else. It's my opinion! And why I think that way should be my knowledge unless I choose to specify so. But nnnnnooooooooooooo... you have to push it. Actually makes me wonder about you. >>



Good job, attack someone who commended you for your post. That'll show 'em.

After all, you DID explain yourself thoughfully after I said something. So don't go back five minutes later and say, "wait a minute, you can't make me do that!"

It wasn't your opinion I was frowning upon, it was the way you presented it. You original post was designed to make the subject into a joke, and it was pursposely disrespectful to gays and to the people who have taken the time to take the thread seriously. Your next post was much better, so I don't understand why you feel it necessary to lose the ground you made up.

 

[Lucky]

<<
Most gay people simply want to pleasure themselves, but they can't -- so they seek out other penises or vaginas to pleasure. It's not a hard concept to understand.

I've had a number of homosexual experiences, and they have been quite unsatisfying, to say the least. >>




Perhaps their penises were not large enough for you. Care to try a bigger one and report back to us?

 

[OceanFariy]

Xomon -- You are abosolutely right in that the gay "lifestyle" can be unfulling and ultimately a turn-off for many people. I know people who have been "bi-curious," but after their first gay experience realized they prefered their own sex after all, just like yourself.

The whole idea here is people are finding out who they are, not deciding who they are.

 

[gopunk]

It wasn't your opinion I was frowning upon, it was the way you presented it. You original post was designed to make the subject into a joke, and it was pursposely disrespectful to gays and to the people who have taken the time to take the thread seriously. Your next post was much better, so I don't understand why you feel it necessary to lose the ground you made up.

your arrogance is astounding.

 

[VirusDub]

<< Gaydom is simply an exercise in narcissism at it's most extreme.

Most gay people simply want to pleasure themselves, but they can't -- so they seek out other penises or vaginas to pleasure. It's not a hard concept to understand.

I've had a number of homosexual experiences, and they have been quite unsatisfying, to say the least. My only hope is that gays and lesbians truly realize their lifestyle produces no fruit. It's all about yourself, regardless of how many fellow gays tell you otherwise. Honestly look inside yourself, and you'll find the blatant answer.

Good luck, and hopefully I won't screw any other men in my lifetime -- Xomon. >>

You realize, of course, that lots of gay people form meaningful relationships with others? That they just want to be happy in life? Can you honestly tell me that you're not attracted to women to please yourself? Or that straight men only have sex to please women? You must be an idiot if you believe that.

 

[OceanFariy]

<< Being gay and acting gay are completely different. Can you be gay and never have sex with a man? Duh, yes. It's in your head, not your actions. well yes, but you're making the assumption that those homosexuals (or pretenders, if it makes you happy) are merely "acting" gay. if they are attracted to men, and only men, then they are gay. if they are attracted to women, but have sex with men, then they would be "acting gay". but seriously, have you ever heard of such a case? >>



I can imagine it would be very confusing for a young person to be molested. And if that person was of your own sex and you were straight, it would be even more confusing. If being gay is truly a biological thing, then your own personal delusions or insanities are beside the point.

I guess we are kind of arguing over the definition of "gay," which wasn't the topic in the first place. Partly my fault for getting us off on the tangent.

 

[gopunk]

If being gay is truly a biological thing, then your own personal delusions or insanities are beside the point.

well yes, but who said being gay was solely due to genetics?

I guess we are kind of arguing over the definition of "gay," which wasn't the topic in the first place. Partly my fault for getting us off on the tangent.

perhaps... though i wasn't aware that there were other definitions. i always figured a gay was a male who was sexually attracted to other males.

 

[NikPreviousAcct]

OceanFariy,
It was insulting to gays? Not just one or two? I assume you speak for all gays, then? I was making a point. It obviously went over your head.

 

[OceanFariy]

your arrogance is astounding.

I'm sorry, but I don't think it's arrogant to point it out when a member has made a statement that is inappropriate or unkind towards a large group of people.
I would have said the same thing if his post had been along the lines of:

"You know you're asian when your poo smells like soy sauce and you like to eat dogs."

That would be incredibly offensive, as was his post. I was glad when he was then able to state his opinion in a more reasonable and, ultimately, more expressive manner.

 

[NikPreviousAcct]

<< "You know you're asian when your poo smells like soy sauce and you like to eat dogs." >>

You're a gay asian, aren't you. You're bitter. I can tell.

 

[OceanFariy]

I don't speak for gays, because I'm not gay myself. But I don't have to be gay to know when you say something mean. You don't have to be Arab to realize "sand n!gger" is an insulting and narrow-mined thing to say.

 

[pulse8]

Side Topic:

I've always wondered why it's alright to call someone a jackass, but not a "sandn!gger" as someone pointed out.

Is jackass not offensive to the mules?

 

[OceanFariy]

<<

<< "You know you're asian when your poo smells like soy sauce and you like to eat dogs." >>

You're a gay asian, aren't you. You're bitter. I can tell. >>



I'm a straight white female. But I am bitter. There may be gay people who have read your post and have found it hurtful, but have been afraid to speak up.