How do you handle bank accounts with your SO?

Page 2 - Seeking answers? Join the AnandTech community: where nearly half-a-million members share solutions and discuss the latest tech.

How do you handle bank accounts with your SO?

  • Joint accounts because I am a naive fool and want to let my SO take all my money

    Votes: 12 28.6%
  • Separate accounts because I have necrotic trust issues

    Votes: 14 33.3%
  • Some mix because we are too indecisive to pick a single method

    Votes: 12 28.6%
  • Most popular option: I wish I had a SO

    Votes: 4 9.5%

  • Total voters
    42
Nov 8, 2012
20,842
4,785
146
The reasons we divorced were all her faults. Totally uncontested and I stipulated her debt created during the marriage was completely her own. She could not fight it and gladly signed away. She had no choice.

Sounds like she was too stupid to get a lawyer that doesn't have mental retardation...
 

boomerang

Lifer
Jun 19, 2000
18,883
641
126
Jointly owned accounts but I handle the money. We play a little game in that when I drive she's got to pay and when she drives I've got to pay but the credit cards both have companion cards so we're both responsible for the bill. She got a Kohl's card unbeknownst to me a number of years back when they offered her some big bucks off a purchase. She forgot to pay the CC bill and it's a mark on her record. Any questions on why I handle the money and pay the bills? I haven't paid credit card interest in many, many, many decades but if she payed the bills...

I've got her as primary on one of the credit cards and I think our next car I will put in her name. I realized about five years ago that based on her family history she will more than likely outlive me by about 20 years and that she needed some credit established. She's established now, in fact her credit score is higher than mine by about 5 points. I have no real clue why mine is lower but it may be because both the cars are in my name and technically I'm carrying more debt.
 

lxskllr

No Lifer
Nov 30, 2004
58,301
8,582
126
We have our own separate accounts
Do you guys share clothes? That always bothered me with my exes. I like my stuff to be mine, and I want it available when I want it. Girls would wear my stuff, but it wasn't reciprocal, cause none of theirs would fit, and it would look pretty stupid. I was excited to score some boxers when I split from the wife, but it turned out they were women's. No fly :^S
I wore them anyway. Beats nothing :^D
 

highland145

Lifer
Oct 12, 2009
43,973
6,333
136
Do you guys share clothes? That always bothered me with my exes. I like my stuff to be mine, and I want it available when I want it. Girls would wear my stuff, but it wasn't reciprocal, cause none of theirs would fit, and it would look pretty stupid. I was excited to score some boxers when I split from the wife, but it turned out they were women's. No fly :^S
I wore them anyway. Beats nothing :^D
lol
 

purbeast0

No Lifer
Sep 13, 2001
53,198
6,068
126
Both of our paychecks go into my account that handles all of the bills and my own spending money and it's also our funds for buying necessities, going out to dinners, etc. We also use it for our travel funds. Then when she gets paid I deposit some money into my wife's account. She doesn't have access to my main account but I have access to hers. I also have a savings account that I don't really put any money into since it's already got a decent size chunk in there and I have some money from iOS/Android apps going into there but it's hardly anything at this point cause my apps are old and not relevant anymore.
 

BarkingGhostar

Diamond Member
Nov 20, 2009
8,409
1,617
136
This poll reveals more about trust than anything else. Then again I've been happily married for a couple of decades now. I must be doing something right--or not wrong enough.
 

crashtech

Lifer
Jan 4, 2013
10,620
2,181
146
Both of our names are on all our accounts, but she has one for her daily expenses as do I, and one that we use for the mortgage, utilities, etc. I think it would be a pain to reconcile an account that had multiple users on a regular basis.
 

IndyColtsFan

Lifer
Sep 22, 2007
33,655
687
126
Separate accounts except for one shared checking account where the mortgage is withdrawn. I’m the only one paying the mortgage though.
 

Oyeve

Lifer
Oct 18, 1999
22,019
868
126
>>divorce
>>"why would she need a lawyer?"
>>this is a stupid post

You should really heed your own advice....
Again, without you knowing the circumstances a lawyer would have been useless for her. Stop thinking out of your ass.
 

ponyo

Lifer
Feb 14, 2002
19,688
2,810
126
What's hers is hers and what's mine is hers.
This is the only answer if you're married. I've joint accounts, single account she knows about, and single accounts she doesn't know about. But regardless, I just tell her everything is hers. I pay all the bills and she has free unlimited use of all the credit cards. She doesn't have her own single account because she has never had a paying job of her own. I think the last paying job she had was when she was in college before she married me. But my money is her money so she doesn't need a job.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Ns1
Nov 8, 2012
20,842
4,785
146
Again, without you knowing the circumstances a lawyer would have been useless for her. Stop thinking out of your ass.
I'm not thinking "out of my ass".

Anyone who has ever been in a court room knows that no individual person can properly represent themselves with the sheer number of laws on the books... hence- anyone with half a brain - especially in the case of a divorce... would get a good lawyer. It doesn't matter if the person is a complete crackwhore.

No one else on this forum will disagree with me unless they have a mental disorder. You're completely and entirely wrong here.

Whatever the case may be - I'm congratulating you on having a complete retard as an ex-wife for not getting a lawyer. So take it as a compliment.
 
Last edited:

GoodRevrnd

Diamond Member
Dec 27, 2001
6,801
581
126
Single joint account we contribute to equally, all other assets separate. Fun money comes out of personal accounts, even if it's stuff we do together. Never have had a fight about money (but no kids)!
 

BurnItDwn

Lifer
Oct 10, 1999
26,202
1,679
126
I have all accounts.
She is added to Credit Card account, but, does not have her own checking or saving account.
 

PowerEngineer

Diamond Member
Oct 22, 2001
3,571
743
136
All shared. Split would be absurd.

Not really. Joint accounts make sense for couples that happen to be equally competent in managing their finances and controlling their spending. What would be absurd is insisting on joint accounts when couples are mismatched. I found out the hard way that my wife could always find reasons to buy things as long as there was a positive balance in our checking account. The best solution for us has been to only transfer into that joint account what money she can feel free to spend. The rest goes into accounts that I control for paying household bills, savings, and big ticket items. This arrangement has greatly reduced the head butting over our budget.
 

Dr. Detroit

Diamond Member
Sep 25, 2004
8,295
752
126
100% separate including our credit cards. No need for a joint account for bills, just write a check or trasnfer funds to the bill payer.
 

IndyColtsFan

Lifer
Sep 22, 2007
33,655
687
126
Huh - I'll admit I'm a little surprised that so few have just joint account(s)

I don't see the point in having everything in joint accounts when you have two working professionals. The only reason we even have the joint checking account was because we got a discount on our mortgage if we opened a checking account with that bank and paid directly from that account. And as I said, the mortgage is the only thing paid from that account and I pay it. Before we used that bank, we had no joint accounts.

The rule in our house is very simple - we each have bills to pay. Whatever you want to do with your money after those are paid is entirely up to you. We split household projects as well but talk about those in advance. Having separate accounts isn't really a big deal.
 

ultimatebob

Lifer
Jul 1, 2001
25,134
2,449
126
The best way to do it seems to be having separate accounts for personal expenses, and a shared account for household expenses like food, rent, and utilities.

That way, I'm not freaking out when she spends $300 at Sephora and she's not freaking out when I spend $300 at Newegg.
 
  • Like
Reactions: crashtech

Ns1

No Lifer
Jun 17, 2001
55,419
1,599
126
We share and pray that there's more money at the end of the month than there was at the beginning of the month.
 

Exterous

Super Moderator
Jun 20, 2006
20,505
3,627
126
I don't see the point in having everything in joint accounts when you have two working professionals. The only reason we even have the joint checking account was because we got a discount on our mortgage if we opened a checking account with that bank and paid directly from that account. And as I said, the mortgage is the only thing paid from that account and I pay it. Before we used that bank, we had no joint accounts.

The point would be we dont have multiple accounts to balance, do 1099s on, transfer funds between or worry about who has money to pay for what. I'm not saying it would work for everyone or that those are a ton of work but its additional overhead