How do you deal with a messed up family?

[Orsorum]

I am currently faced with the prospect of serious rifts occuring between me and my sister, and me and my father, sort of separate issues, but entwined by recent events. I am scared of the prospect of not being close to my sister, but given recent events and her reaction, I think that that is a moot point now. Same with my father - we have never been as close as I would like, but we've both managed to make it difficult. This may have just been a nail in the coffin.

How do you deal with losing contact/closeness with multiple loved ones?

 

[Zim Hosein]

Originally posted by: Orsorum
I am currently faced with the prospect of serious rifts occuring between me and my sister, and me and my father, sort of separate issues, but entwined by recent events. I am scared of the prospect of not being close to my sister, but given recent events and her reaction, I think that that is a moot point now.

How do you deal with losing contact/closeness with multiple loved ones?

I just take it day by day Orsorum, those that wish to stay close will work w/ me, those that don't lose out IMO

 

[HappyPuppy]

I left home when I was 17. I guess legally I was a "runaway", but they didn't know where I was until I was ready. It's a big world.

 

[smokey7722]

Originally posted by: Orsorum
I am currently faced with the prospect of serious rifts occuring between me and my sister, and me and my father, sort of separate issues, but entwined by recent events. I am scared of the prospect of not being close to my sister, but given recent events and her reaction, I think that that is a moot point now.

How do you deal with losing contact/closeness with multiple loved ones?

I am in the same situation. Let me spell it out for ya:

One of my sisters (23 years old), stoll over $600 from my grandparents over a period of 6 months. Now my grandparents won't talk to her and as my parents aren't doing anything about it, other than make my sister give them the money back, they won't talk to them either. Now mind you, yes it has brought the rest of the family closer as we talk more often now, but it still tore the family apart and will so for years. On top of that, my mother, I swear is going nuts, and gets worse every day, as nothing she does makes sense anymore. My father still won't stand up to my mother, which leaves the one whose nuts in charge...

Generally there is nothing you can do, give your support to who you feel needs it most, and you feel you can still talk to. Find a relative or real close friend you can talk to at any time and keep talking. It does help. If when this is all done and over, you have lost contact with a family member, your sister/father, than it happened. Try your best not to let it happen but there is as I said, only so much you can do.

 

[BD231]

Let'em go dude, just because your related to them dosen't make them exempt from being human. There are TONS of people in the world who treat their close friends as family, and as you get older you'll see that sometimes your better off not having anything to do with the people you grew up with. It's a normal thing to go through, people tend to take it as a bigger deal than it is due to the fact that it's tough to accept the idea of people they've been around all their life being oddballs.

Parents bitch and moan, don't feed their childish comments with childish comments. Generally if you just shutup and let them be the only ones angry the anger tends to die down. It's time for you to start thinking about starting your own life outside the house for sure.

 

[Ime]

Move out, get a job, become self-supporting.

Then they will either come around or they won't.

In my case, they came around.

 

[SSP]

You know I had the same feeling a month ago when the whole family was up in arms screaming about one thing or another, but as time passed by, we calmed down and are back to our usual self. I don?t know your family so I don?t know if this is the kind of problems that gets sorted out in time, but try to have a clear mind before screaming back. I swear sometime everyone go in to PMS mode over nothing. Alcohol makes it sooo much worse.

 

[MournSanity]

I put on some headphones and ignore LIFE.

 

[Orsorum]

Part of this is because of my relationship with my mother; part of it has to do with the fact that my sister found my livejournal and found some less than smiling commentary on her treatment of some non-nuclear family members.

I am not sure yet if my father understands what is going on, but he will after he talks to my sister. Money issues are a PITA.

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: HappyPuppy
I left home when I was 17. I guess legally I was a "runaway", but they didn't know where I was until I was ready. It's a big world.

 

[novon]

Sometimes I wonder how my mom can get angry, bitter and paranoid so easily...it's getting worse over time. Everytime I've tried to talk to her about it she takes it personally and ends up getting angry and defensive...I kept my mouth shut for a long time and just let it go hoping she can figure out her own problems...

It affects the whole family.

Personally I'm planning to let it go and just move out.

 

[Orsorum]

Originally posted by: novon
Sometimes I wonder how my mom can get angry, bitter and paranoid so easily...it's getting worse over time. Everytime I've tried to talk to her about it she takes it personally and ends up getting angry and defensive...I kept my mouth shut for a long time and just let it go hoping she can figure out her own problems...

It affects the whole family.

Personally I'm planning to let it go and just move out.

My sister is that way. I am close to just leaving it in her hands and giving it time.

 

[Orsorum]

Bumpy.

 

[flxnimprtmscl]

Personally I avoid them. It's the most simple solution. The only member of my family I have regular contact with is my mom. The rest I see once a year at Christmas.

 

[TheHeartless]

Let things cool down for a bit..and see how things go after a while...

for example..my older sister pratically ruined my family...she ran away, did drugs, hit my mother, etc....she would always tell me not to tell my mom what she was doing...but i was worried....and i did....well the problem wasnt my own, i was really close to my older sister...I still talk to her...but sometimes i can't stand her........errrr....you know i dont think i helped any......sorry...

family is family...sometimes it isnt as "normal" as the other family....but everyone has their problems.....cheer up man

 

[Eli]

Get away from it, rise above it so to speak...

If you really want to fix it, you would probably all have to go to counceling. That's unlikely, so my suggestion is just avoid the situation as soon as possible.

Being away from your family will probably make you want to be closer together again.. visit for holidays, etc.

 

[tarheelmm]

My mother and I have talked on and off for 15 years now. Sometimes she is ok others times I just wish she would die. My brother has the same feelings for her. Its currently been four months since I have talked to her. I feel less stress in my life when I dont talk to her. The last six years have gotten worse and we have talked for probably a total of three hours in that time.

My point is things will go as they may. If you think you are right then things will work themselves in one way or another. Dont sweat it out the rest of your life wondering if you should have changed things or apoligized for something.

 

[Siddhartha]

I recommend moving at least 10 hours away from them. Nothing takes care of stupid family disagreements better than living 600 miles away.

 

[Bleep]

part of it has to do with the fact that my sister found my livejournal and found some less than smiling commentary on her treatment of some non-nuclear family members

Why would you want to maintain a relationship with someone that would snoop into your personal stuff. She is a asshat.

Bleep

 

[Orsorum]

Originally posted by: Bleep

part of it has to do with the fact that my sister found my livejournal and found some less than smiling commentary on her treatment of some non-nuclear family members

Why would you want to maintain a relationship with someone that would snoop into your personal stuff. She is a asshat.

Bleep

Well, technically I did "broadcast it all over the internet", according to her.

I think she needs to spend a week or two cooling down; I'll deal with my father in a different time-frame.

 

[masterxfob]

the father-son relationship is usually always messed up and there's not a whole lot anyone can do about it. no matter how well you're doing, your father will almost always find something to be upset about. the only time your father will be happy is when you've moved out and he starts to miss you.

as for your sister, nothing is thicker than blood, she'll come around when she matures. no one can forgive or be forgiven like a sibling, sometimes it just takes a little time.

the best medicine is to get away for a while. i've moved out with some of my gf's after a big fight with my father or sisters and then after a month or so, it all just simmers down.

 

[Kadarin]

I deal with that kind of thing by simply not letting it get to me. My family isn't really all that close, and I'm not the kind of person who lets people get close very easily.

 

[Orsorum]

Originally posted by: Astaroth33
I deal with that kind of thing by simply not letting it get to me. My family isn't really all that close, and I'm not the kind of person who lets people get close very easily.

Interesting. How often do you see them?

 

[Orsorum]

Originally posted by: Orsorum

Originally posted by: Astaroth33
I deal with that kind of thing by simply not letting it get to me. My family isn't really all that close, and I'm not the kind of person who lets people get close very easily.

Interesting. How often do you see them?

Really?

 

[Orsorum]

Bump.