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How do I get over a girl?

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Originally posted by: jndietz
Originally posted by: mjuszczak
She called me a little while ago to apologize, say she's sorry, that all she wants is me, thats he loves me, and that she was watching sex and the city and all of her girlfriends were watching with her and they were all like "Wow, I wish my boyfriend did stuff like that for me." (it was on the TV).... she sat there and said "Well, my x-boyfriend did that stuff for me!" to herself.... and so she called me....
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She's playing games dude. If she has done all this crap so far, why would you even still mess with her? It should be red flag city for you. Stop talking to her already!
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trust us, this is one case of onegina you do NOT want...
 
Originally posted by: jndietz
Originally posted by: mjuszczak
onegina?
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sexual experience that causes trauma, i believe. eghck, correct me if i'm wrong.
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its just a play on a russel peters joke (but yes, for some it can be trauma 😉)

as for mjuszczak, thats fine that you want to have sex with one person your entire life. Well, sadly theres a conflict of interest because she doesn't want to be exclusive to just you. Find a girl who makes you happy and when she isn't, shes at least trying to. If she really believed you were the one for her, she wouldn't say she couldn't stay with you knowing you were her only boyfriend...
 
Originally posted by: mjuszczak
Don't tell me she was cheating on me or interested in someone else, because she wasn't. Her and I were each other's first and we were intimate before she left, and we've NEVER lied to each other and I trust her. We went out to dinner and we told each other that we loved each other and I asked her if she was interested in anyone else and she said not at all.... its just that she's very tied to her parents, she's tired of her parents telling her to move on and see other people, and she has these doubts ever since her and I started "fighting" a few months ago (which we later fixed).
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Don't kid yourself, man. That's code for the grass is greener in another lawn.
Get rid of all stuff that reminds you of her. Burn it. SYMBOLICALLY KILL THE MEMORY. Everytime you find your mind wandering to thoughts of the two of you, DO SOMETHING ELSE, immediately. Get your friends to smack you if you start going all whiney about it.
DO NOT DRINK or use drugs as insulation.
Learn new coping skillz.
You're young and there are plenty of women out there. DO NOT get hung up on this.

 
Originally posted by: alien42
how many threads are we going to get about this?

http://forums.anandtech.com/messageview...atid=38&threadid=1774322&enterthread=y
http://forums.anandtech.com/messageview...atid=38&threadid=1771392&enterthread=y
http://forums.anandtech.com/messageview...atid=38&threadid=1771945&enterthread=y
http://forums.anandtech.com/messageview...atid=38&threadid=1776706&enterthread=y
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A lot, why? you counting? You immune to the pain of cupid's arrow being wrenched out of you rudely?

Get some empathy going or go away.

At least make a joke about it.....


Jeez what a dork.

 
Not to be mean or anything, but I think you need some counseling. With the 11 pages of everyone saying to forget about her, yet you seriously consider getting back with her, you my friend have a really low self-esteem. I mean come on, who uses the line "I love you, but I want to see other people". This will probably mean nothing, as you totally ignored 11 pages of advice, but you seriously need counseling...
 
I don't have low self esteem. In fact, I have very high self-esteem. I work out every day, and a crap load of girls like me. But I don't want them. And this girl is my best pal and we've never stopped being that way, we talk about this very maturely on the phone. I can't help she has doubts, but I'm expected to hold that against her?
 
Hey I am going through the same crap right now.. Just get out and try to be with friends. It's all in the mindset. It was only 5 days ago for me and I am already starting to come around almost completely. It's a hassle at first, but life goes on.

🙂
 
Originally posted by: mjuszczak
I don't have low self esteem. In fact, I have very high self-esteem. I work out every day, and a crap load of girls like me. But I don't want them. And this girl is my best pal and we've never stopped being that way, we talk about this very maturely on the phone. I can't help she has doubts, but I'm expected to hold that against her?
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alright, I'll make this easy, what will make you happy? Figure it out and tell her, this is what you want, she either says yes or no (I dont know means no). If she says yes, great, if she says no, you need to move on. Why continue something that causes you pain and distress. And not to be mean, but if you really had high self esteem, you wouldn't be sulking over her cause you'd KNOW that you could meet and date one of the many other women out there that can, and will, suit you better then this one...best of luck
 
I KNOW I can meet someone out there better than her, or better than she's treated me recently.... Problem is that I am not in a situation where I CAN meet people. Where I live, there is NO ONE AROUND. Its dead. That's why I Can't wait to move as soon as I get my degree. I'm not gonna argue though 🙂 I appreciate everyone's input and their opinion is their opinion.
 
Originally posted by: jndietz
Originally posted by: mjuszczak
She called me a little while ago to apologize, say she's sorry, that all she wants is me, thats he loves me, and that she was watching sex and the city and all of her girlfriends were watching with her and they were all like "Wow, I wish my boyfriend did stuff like that for me." (it was on the TV).... she sat there and said "Well, my x-boyfriend did that stuff for me!" to herself.... and so she called me....
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She's playing games dude. If she has done all this crap so far, why would you even still mess with her? It should be red flag city for you. Stop talking to her already!
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You know !

She is somewhere having a fsckfest (while watching sex and the city and laughing her ass off) for all I care and this dude here is sitting there in the corner of his room at night, tearing himself apart, I know it because I have been there done that, but trust me you will only laugh at yourself when you look back and say "That is what I was sad about pffft I could have done much better than that! What d!psht I was, haha now I did this and that and couldn't have been happier..."

Trust me when rational mature people I know told me the very same a while back when I was in your seat, of what I am quoting here I laughed at them and thought it was bullsh!t to make me feel better, then as time passed by and I started waking up from this cupid induced comma, I started looking at this girl as a mojor loser that's because she is the one missing out not me, the same way that I was told.
Trust me you will be laughing at yourself later for this sht, but only time and determination can solve your bleeding wounds.
🙂 Cheer up buddy it WILL pass, but LEARN, LEARN and then learn some more from this mistake!
 
re-read what karen marie posted in the last couple pages.

she's right, and you need to stop talking to this girl altogether. she's just fvcking with you, and you're not doing a damned thing to get out of your situation.

move on.

(i mean this in the best way possible. i've been in the same situation. it sucks, but you have to just cut it off and move on..)
 
It's tough man, I know.

It's been almost 5 months since my ex broke up with me, we were together for 4 years. I'm still not 100% over it, but getting pretty close. It's still hard sometimes when I see her picture or find something in the house that was hers or reminds me of her.

I still love her just as much as I did when we were together, which is what kills.

The only thing that helps is time.

Oh, and meeting other women. 🙂
 
Originally posted by: mjuszczak
Don't tell me she was cheating on me or interested in someone else, because she wasn't. Her and I were each other's first and we were intimate before she left, and we've NEVER lied to each other and I trust her. We went out to dinner and we told each other that we loved each other and I asked her if she was interested in anyone else and she said not at all.... its just that she's very tied to her parents, she's tired of her parents telling her to move on and see other people, and she has these doubts ever since her and I started "fighting" a few months ago (which we later fixed).
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She needs to grow up more. Not a put down of her in anyway but it is what it is. Don't think of this as " it's over " .. it might be ... but just start living day by day one foot in front of the other thing ... Time will tell how she will be and it will also show what you will be.

This is not a end all be all situation for you ! This is a life experience for you ( and her ) to grow and learn about yourselves.

Good luck and talking to others about how you feel is the right thing to do. 🙂
 
try getting a rebound girl...go to teh bar and maybe youll get lucky that sould cheer you up......or if that fails go to the stripclub with some friends that makes life better some times
 
Originally posted by: buzzsaw13
Originally posted by: mjuszczak
I was in love with her for three years. We broke up a few weeks ago, she left still saying she loved me and missed me but wanted to see other people because she "knew I was the one for her but couldn't stay with me knowing I was her only boyfriend". She called me 3:45 AM saturday morning to tell me she loved me and then got on a plane and is now gone for 5 months, and I can't talk to her.

I'm really really upset. I love this girl. I'm 22 and we dated since I was 20.

My attitude right now is that I have three goals: 1) Lose weight, 2) Graduate, 3) Pay off my debt. And that keeps me going. But I think about how happy she made me and how close we were and how best friends we were, and yeah there were problems ... but I'm just scared and can't imagine someone else without her (and can't imagine ME not with her.... I hung out with her the two days before she left (Thursday and Friday) and we were soooo happy, and she almost said she wanted to stay together but kept saying she knows she would have doubts).

It just hurts :-(
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What a load of crap, you're better off without her.
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WTF???..WTGDF?? What kind of answer is that BS? Girls are stupid.
 
Originally posted by: Rudee
That line she fed you "knew I was the one for her but couldn't stay with me knowing I was her only boyfriend".. that's a crock of $hit. She simply grew tired of the relationship and wants to move on. If a woman truly wants you in her life, she will overcome all obstacles to keep the relationship in tact, otherwise, they'll give you some sappy line like the one she gave you, have herself a good cry, then move on to something new and exciting. Your relationship with her is just another chapter in the big book of life. Time to end that chapter and begin a new one. She is, so I suggest you do the same.
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BINGO....ignore her from now on.
 
This thread is done.

She called me last night regretting everything she's said. She begged me to "not let her go". She didn't want to lose me.

Then, we talked tonight and she was COMPLETELY swung back to the other direction. THIS was the proof I needed that something is NOT right with this relationship. Who swings back and forth in 24 HOURS about their feelings?

I told her I needed a LONG break. I told her I couldn't stay friends: I would, but I can't keep letting my heart wander up and down. She cried. I didn't give in. I said warm wishes and politely ended the phone call. I WILL NOT be calling her again.

Thank you to all for your support. This thread does not need to exist anymore.




And tonight, at midnight, I'm calling a new friend I've made today, and hopefully getting some non-confused people in my life!

Thanks all.
 
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