It wasn't UPS that brought the static wipes, but a Staples employee. For some reason, they had dispatched the monitor (and, presumably, the TV) to UPS for delivery, and yet saw fit to send a courier to my house for a $4.00 item. Hell, Pizza Hut won't come to my house for a $4.00 order. 🙂
I'm not sure why they did it that way (and, for that matter, neither was the CSR I spoke to), but at least it was nothing more than a bizarre twist of corporate logic, rather than the monitor being "lost" as I had originally feared.