Home Ownership is Awesome!!!?!??! (a true tale by your pal, NuclearNed)

[endervalentine]

Thanks - good read for a friday afternoon.

 

[vi edit]

Inquiring minds want to know...who wears the toolbelt during the freaky deeky Bob Villa sexcapade?

 

[NuclearNed]

Inquiring minds want to know...who wears the toolbelt during the freaky deeky Bob Villa sexcapade?

Definitely me, but we flip a coin to see who gets the drill.

 

[Flipped Gazelle]

POTY (Post Of The Year) material.

 

[bommy261]

A+ tale. did u get all that sexin u'd thought u'd get outta this?

 

[Gothgar]

Good one....

 

[herm0016]

you really need to write a book.
you also need to start a blog... it would be epic.

everyone looks forward to your next adventure.

 

[Evadman]

A NuclearNed story is always win.

 

[allisolm]

I was thinking about redoing my kitchen. I think I'll wait.

Thanks for another delightful chapter in the life of Nookular Ned.

 

[DrPizza]

Repost!
I already posted about the microwaves increasing by 3/16 of an inch, requiring major work on the back splash.

 

[jlee]

Epic as expected!

 

[EagleKeeper]

Now my wife has a new project she wants me to start. It’s called a vasectomy. What could possibly go wrong?

1) Did you get your nookie?

2) Nothing can go wrong with the vasectomy. High pitch voice and a pregnant wife.:hmm:

 

[2dt Drifter]

Excellent read!

 

[blackdogdeek]

dude. awesome.

 

[Occ]

Home ownership is awesome.

 

[AreaCode707]

Sometime soon I'm going to compile all your stories into one thread.

 

[xanis]

10/10, as always. :thumbsup:

 

[69Mach1]

Great story, but- everyone knows you never, ever utter the words "What could go wrong" before doing anything. It's like asking Murphy to take a crap on whatever project you're working on.

 

[mugs]

The new cabinets, unlike the old, fit flush against the walls, leaving large areas of previously unpainted kitchen.

For whatever reason, the previous owner had the bright idea to space the original cabinets several inches from the wall. When our guy installed the new cabinets the proper way, there were large patches of ugly old wallpaper exposed. I’m talking about drab gray paper with red moose and green pine trees. Not a problem. Our guy, who gets highly paid by the hour, was more than happy to strip the old wallpaper and paint the walls. So with the cabinets and lights installed, and the walls freshly painted, it was time to pick out our granite. What could possibly go wrong?

If you're talking about in the corners, that was probably for practical reasons
1. So the doors don't hit each other when you open one of them.
2. Because kitchens usually aren't precisely the same width as some number of standard size cabinets. It's cheaper and easier and not in any way inferior to leave a small cavity that can't even be seen rather than use a custom sized cabinet.

 

[sdifox]

So the movie Money Pit was you?

 

[foghorn67]

Well done. Like others said, you seriously need to write a book.

 

[Babbles]

As usual kudos to sharing your stories!

 

[akshatp]

Excellent.

 

[SpunkyJones]

Bravo sir, Bravo. You are still my hero of the interwebs.

 

[kranky]

Quality work, Ned. Very nice!

<squeaky high voice> Hardly anything can go wrong with a vasectomy. </squeaky high voice>