Help finding the man my wife cheated on me with!

[RossMAN]

Originally posted by: bbkat
Stop paging me!!!

:Q

 

[RSI]

If you have his home phone number, wouldn't it be easy to track him down?

Anyway, you probably shouldn't do that in any case. Just work it out between yourself and your wife. You'll gain nothing from "questioning" this guy.

 

[Bluefront]

So you want to find the person responsible for your mess? Do this....Walk into the bathroom, turn on the light, look in the mirror. There he stands. Women cheat for many reasons, most of which revolve around something the husband is doing....or not doing.

 

[BD2003]

Originally posted by: Oyeve

Are you ok, Oyeve? How long ago did you find out and how?

Thanks for asking Ollie. I am playing it minute by minute. My emotions run from Hate, Anger, used, betrayed, love. all within minutes. Thanks god I don't drink because I feel I would just be drunk all the time. The 4 year affair, according to HER, was on and off. She claims it usually happened when our marriage was going through some very rough times. And beleive me, i was no angel either but I never used or betrayed my wife that way. I usually called her really nasty things, belittled her and basically kept telling her I hated her and regretted marrying her. I was by far no mr. nice guy but I never went to someone else. thats what really hurts.

And you're surprised?

 

[fr]

Watch the movie Sleuth if you haven't seen it already.

 

[SilverThief]

EDITED...... I take that back, looks like you had it coming to you.

:|

 

[Bluefront]

If you follow the advice of some of the morons posting here, you'll be doing big time in the big-house. Your wife will then be free to find somebody else, if this first guy is dead. Use your head....

 

[SCSIfreek]

crap with the nonsense, If a affair could last for 4 years <--- I mean 4 god damn years. You obviously don't pay much attention to your wife. Do not blame her for everything had happened <--- I'm sure you played a huge part it this affair as well.

How did you find out about this affair?
Have you seat down and talk to your wife about this?
I hate to bring this up but how old is your son?
I can honestly say that things will never be the same again, do not push yourself too hard on saving the marriage as it had already hook a U-turn long before.
Focus on yourself and see if you can start all over again.


Good luck,

--Scsi

 

[jemcam]

Originally posted by: bozack
Could you really ever trust her again??? I know that I couldn't and I wouldn't..whether it be a one night thing or even worse a four year affair as in your case.

You are really really really better off just getting a divorce and be done with it as IMHO you will never be able to fully trust her again and if you did then you would be a fool. I mean she skirts the issue of how she contacted him? how can you trust someone like that?

I would also want to "talk" with the guy, but really deal with your immediate problem first which is getting her out of your life, and proving in court that she is an unfit mother by her acts of cheating, then you can get primary custody of your children and start to rebuild your life...

Jemcam, do you really trust your wife? if you do then I give you a good deal of credit as I could never trust that person again.

Yes, I can say I do. Most importantly though, if I were to stay divorced, would I trust my next girlfriend or wife? I sure as hell didn't marry this girl thinking anything like this could ever happened. I never saw it coming. Why would a trust another girlfriend differently? My point is, I promised myself that I'd never put complete blind faith in anyone again. No more rose-colored glasses. This stuff happens every day to men and women. You're not special or exempt from this happening to you, regardless of what you think.

 

[jemcam]

Originally posted by: Bluefront
So you want to find the person responsible for your mess? Do this....Walk into the bathroom, turn on the light, look in the mirror. There he stands. Women cheat for many reasons, most of which revolve around something the husband is doing....or not doing.

Bull. Bull, Bull! I went through lots of counseling individually and this is not true. I've been there and had to see a professional that deals with this all the time. How long have you been married anyway?

 

[Pepsi90919]

Originally posted by: SilverThief
First off I'd throw her out in the street. Then I'd be hunting down this good for nothing low down dirty SOB with a baseball bat. Break a couple of ribs and knock some front teeth out.

:|

and this leaves you with....?

 

[Soybomb]

And beleive me, i was no angel either but I never used or betrayed my wife that way. I usually called her really nasty things, belittled her and basically kept telling her I hated her and regretted marrying her. I was by far no mr. nice guy but I never went to someone else. thats what really hurts.

Not that this in anyway justifies her actions, but verbal abuse could be just as hurtful as her betraying your trust, and most likely the reason for it. If you're being called really nasty things, being told that your spouse hates you and you regret the marriage, that really has to emotionally damage a person. If your spouse hates you and wishes they hadn't married you, I can see where that might not inspire them to be the most faithful or caring.

You have no reason to contact the guy, this is between you and your wife. You are both at fault and need to work it out or both move on.

 

[AaronP]

The questions I want to ask is 1. Why? 2. Do you love her 3. Did you at least treat her right? 4. are you her soul mate? 5. Will you NEVER call, see, or come remotely NEAR her. Thats when I may have to threaten him.

I can answer those:

1. To get some poon
2. Maybe
3. Probably
4. Unknown
5. need poon

haha and you may need to threaten him? LOL yeah, ATOTers are really tough, he's probably a man's man and could turn you into a pretzel.

 

[AaronP]

if she were my wife, I'd be calling Johnny Cochrane right about now!

 

[AaronP]

ohh Bluefront, go have sex with that nitwit namby panzy idiot Dr. Phil. You are so full of crap with your "look in the mirror" crap.

 

[AaronP]

if you really want revenge, you could:

Go get yourself infected with HIV, then have some make up sex with your wife, then, eventually she'll go back to him anyways, and booya, your HIV stank is all over him!

Of course, I don't condone or recommend this.

 

[OREOSpeedwagon]

Originally posted by: AaronP
if you really want revenge, you could:

Go get yourself infected with HIV, then have some make up sex with your wife, then, eventually she'll go back to him anyways, and booya, your HIV stank is all over him!

Of course, I don't condone or recommend this.

Uhh.....

 

[Adul]

isnt that illegal in some states to do?

 

[Bluefront]

AaronP.....Never heard of your Dr Phil. Is the good doctor female? I'm not using lame info from tv doctors or radio talk-show crap. Using real-world info gathered over a lifetime of being a good listener...mostly from women angry at their husbands for various reasons...this is my and the conclusion many others have come to. Sit at the bar of any joint in town, and you'll hear story after story echoing that same theme.

Oyeve admitted he didn't find out for four years his wife was cheating. What was he doing all that time? Ignoring her? Playing in the garage with his hot-rod? The reason for the wife's cheating is here ok, but nobody wants to face up to it.

 

[bmacd]

I don't think there's any shame in seeking marriage counseling. That really sucks d00d...Though i've never been in a marriage, but i have been in committal relationships and cheated on twice...it's the worst feeling in the world. You're absolutely right where you say your emotions flip left and right every second....it's not easy to deal with. I never really cared who the other guy was (er...i did, but i thought the problem was on my end if i was cheated on twice...). I dunno...the best of luck to you and your wife. I hope things work out in your favor and your son.

-=bmacd=-

 

[Magnum357]

The questions I want to ask is 1. Why? 2. Do you love her 3. Did you at least treat her right? 4. are you her soul mate? 5. Will you NEVER call, see, or come remotely NEAR her. Thats when I may have to threaten him.

You are wrong.

They have known each other for 15 years and had quite a bond between them that preceded the marriage. The guy is not going to be in this just for the sex without thinking of the girl, if he is he's not much of a long term friend.

 

[bmacd]

IMO...Magnum357 may not be the best idea right about now....

-=bmacd=-

edit: in reference to guns...

 

[Skyclad1uhm1]

I'd kill him.

 

[Ciber]

I'd kill her.

 

[XCon]

Dude,
that sucks...
If you happen to "talk" to him too hard,
Call Michael Green,
Green& Associates...Miami, Florida, 33186.....