Having my first child...

[Turin39789]

Yep. The next one comes when they are walking and pretty manageable but still in diapers. Then comes potty training. A simple trip to the grocery store becomes an adventure. Especially as a dad with a daughter. Men's room's shitter's are pretty nasty places.

Yea, have found that malls and airports are the only places I can reliably count on there being a changing station in the men's room. We're told that she will hopefully(HOPE) potty train faster with cloth diapers because she is more aware of the wet.

 

[highland145]

Yep. The next one comes when they are walking and pretty manageable but still in diapers. Then comes potty training. A simple trip to the grocery store becomes an adventure. Especially as a dad with a daughter. Men's room's shitter's are pretty nasty places.

Good excuse for Mom to take the kid when she's there. Works quite well.

My boy's 10. Wife keeps hinting at some type of 'talk' I'm supposed to have with him before long. No idea what she's going on about.

 

[HydroSqueegee]

You'll never ever EVER feel "ready". The best advice I received was to put the baby in the crib to sleep starting the first night home. Starting a solid bedtime routine early will save you much headache later on, like when the kid hits 2 years and doesn't want to do anything you say.

Take each day one at a time.

having a good mother in law close helps. When our first was a baby, she would come over once a week and sleep on the couch with the baby, feed him and take care of him all night. It was a blessing to have a solid night sleep once a week.
then we discovered cosleeping with our second. cosleeping has worked well for us so far. much better night sleeps for all. Baby stirs, wife flops out boob, he eats, back to sleep. good times are had by daddy. Only catch was the light was on all night. but that didnt take too long to get use to.

#3 is on the way in August for us. time to do it all again, but with a little girl this time!

 

[HydroSqueegee]

I was 25 when our first kid was born and it sucked all my energy away. i dont know how parents that have kids in their later years do it.

 

[HydroSqueegee]

Good excuse for Mom to take the kid when she's there. Works quite well.

My boy's 10. Wife keeps hinting at some type of 'talk' I'm supposed to have with him before long. No idea what she's going on about.

talk? my parents just left books geared for kids laying around in strategic locations.

but kids learn more from other kids about the birds and bees than most kids learn from their parents.

 

[ch33zw1z]

having a good mother in law close helps. When our first was a baby, she would come over once a week and sleep on the couch with the baby, feed him and take care of him all night. It was a blessing to have a solid night sleep once a week.
then we discovered cosleeping with our second. cosleeping has worked well for us so far. much better night sleeps for all. Baby stirs, wife flops out boob, he eats, back to sleep. good times are had by daddy. Only catch was the light was on all night. but that didnt take too long to get use to.

#3 is on the way in August for us. time to do it all again, but with a little girl this time!

That advice came from my Mother-in-Law. I'm not a fan of co-sleeping. I hope the transition to the regular bed isn't/wasn't to painful. For us, my wife goes to get the baby when he cries his hungry cry, feeds him in our bed, then it's back to his crib.

My older boy is almost 5. Not only has the bedtime routine work wonders for our sleeping habits, but other people comment on it as well when he stays at their house. He basically puts himself to bed because that's what his body is used to. Bedtime is bedtime, and he knows it. It's not uncommon for him to put himself to bed at our house as well.

 

[ch33zw1z]

I was 25 when our first kid was born and it sucked all my energy away. i dont know how parents that have kids in their later years do it.

Agreed. I'm 30 and my wife is 27, we both don't ever want kids that young in our 30's. We're done. I don't know how people in their 30's do it.

 

[Canun]

When the baby is here, go sign up for the diaper subscription service from amazon. Saves a ton, and you just up the size as the baby grows. Get all the sleep you can. (Mine is 2 months old now, so I'm going through all of it.)

A baby will cry...alot. Don't get frustrated, which you will especially with lack of sleep. We do a feed on demand with no set schedule other than bedtime. Works wonders.

 

[highland145]

talk? my parents just left books geared for kids laying around in strategic locations.

but kids learn more from other kids about the birds and bees than most kids learn from their parents.

I was 37 when the boy was born.

Books like my Dad's pron collection?

 

[vi edit]

Agreed. I'm 30 and my wife is 27, we both don't ever want kids that young in our 30's. We're done. I don't know how people in their 30's do it.

I'm 33 and my wife is 30. We've go a three year old. Been trying for another for a while now but no luck. I'm getting close to the point where I'm ready to call it. I just really don't want to go through the infant & toddler stage all over again. And the first is almost old enough to not have a lot in common with her sibling once it's born. I actually work with a number of people in similar situations. We're all diok's(?) dual income, one kid. Between work, daycare costs, and trying to raise one that need for another just insn't overwhelming. My wife hate's the idea of one kid, but she's also not the one at home many nights and weekends with a potential infant and a 4 year old either.

 

[slayer202]

I'm sorry

Indeed. My condolences

 

[HydroSqueegee]

That advice came from my Mother-in-Law. I'm not a fan of co-sleeping. I hope the transition to the regular bed isn't/wasn't to painful. For us, my wife goes to get the baby when he cries his hungry cry, feeds him in our bed, then it's back to his crib.

My older boy is almost 5. Not only has the bedtime routine work wonders for our sleeping habits, but other people comment on it as well when he stays at their house. He basically puts himself to bed because that's what his body is used to. Bedtime is bedtime, and he knows it. It's not uncommon for him to put himself to bed at our house as well.

i wasnt a fan of cosleeping either, and we didnt with our first. it was hard, but he had eating problems to go with it. I relented with the second and its so much easier just to have the wife flop over and feed. Everyones different and things work for different people.

Transitioning him over to a crib/bed wasnt a problem. he was plenty happy to sleep in the same room as his big brother.

I wish my kids would put themselved to bed. they will go until they drop. Bedtime is never a fight, because they know its time and we have our routine. But if given the chance theyd rather stay up.

 

[rasczak]

when the doctor says push, it does NOT mean you push the baby back inside.

 

[highland145]

when the doctor says push, it does NOT mean you push the baby back inside.

You only want to do that after about the 3rd month of no sleep.

 

[airdata]

what's the deal about not posting baby pics on facebook?

My advice from a father of a 4 week old bouncing baby boy.

Lots of patience.
Breastfeed (more healthy, plus you get more sleep ! )
Stock up on whipes
Enjoy your little bundle of joy!

 

[vi edit]

when the doctor says push, it does NOT mean you push the baby back inside.

Heh. For us it was "don't don't don't push! We're still waiting for the doctor to get here!" My wife was induced and was on a magnesium drip for about 36 hours. At 2:00AM they broke her water. At 2:30 she was fully dialated and in full on labor. At 2:31 the doctor was called. At 2:50'ish the doctor was in the room. At 3:00 my daughter was born.

 

[rasczak]

Heh. For us it was "don't don't don't push! We're still waiting for the doctor to get here!" My wife was induced and was on a magnesium drip for about 36 hours. At 2:00AM they broke her water. At 2:30 she was fully dialated and in full on labor. At 2:31 the doctor was called. At 2:50'ish the doctor was in the room. At 3:00 my daughter was born.

Oh man, I feel your pain. My wife went the drip route as well and labor was almost 24 hours. This was AFTER her water broke.

 

[rasczak]

You only want to do that after about the 3rd month of no sleep.

hehe very true.

 

[vi edit]

Another tidbit...be sure you have everything ready to go about 6 weeks out. You just never know what is going to happen. My wife had to get induced about 6 weeks before her due date because she was in severe preeclampsia. We went in for a regular checkup 6 weeks out on a Friday. Doctor said this isn't good after checking basic vitals and some lab draws...ordered a 24 hour urine test. That got turned in on a Sunday. On Monday we checked into the hospital and started the inducing process.

My wife stayed there while I went back out and finished buying a couple things that we hadn't bought yet.

So make sure the nursery is done, everything is bought, and you have a bag packed and in the car.

 

[vi edit]

Oh man, I feel your pain. My wife went the drip route as well and labor was almost 24 hours. This was AFTER her water broke.

It wasn't so much a pain as it was an incredibly boring, frustrating time. At least for me. My wife was in even worse shape because we checked in on a Monday afternoon. They got her on the mag + petosin drip. She slept there overnight in a room with a methed out white trash chick making angry calls all night to her baby daddy. No sleep. Starting Tuesday morning at 5:00AM they prevented her from eating incase they needed to go emergent c-section. Fast foward to like 10:00 Tuesday night and there was nothing happening. So they crank up the petosin. Tiny little contractions start. But nothing serious. No significant dialation. So at 12:00AM the resident comes in and talks things over and suggests the water breaking. At this point my wife is like whatever...I'm hungry...I'm tired...get this f'n kid out of me. So they come back at 2:00AM and break the water. Then all hell breaks lose and we're parents within the hour.

It was like 30 some hours of nothing nothing nothing nothing then WHAM! Hello kiddo in 1 frantic hour.

 

[JTsyo]

Here's an e-mail I send to some friends that were expecting after we had ours. Links not guaranteed to be up to date.

Here's the list of stuff we found handy. I'll use the amazon links
since it's easy to find.

Bottles:
Breast Flow was what we started with since it was said to mimic the breast the
best and help avoid nipple confusion.
Bottle1



We also tried Drop-ins to help reduce gas. It works but the problem is if the
baby unlatches then air gets in. So we didn't use it for long. Since it is
disposable you only have to wash the nipple.
Bottle2



What we mainly use now are Dr Brown's wide nipple. It seems to work well enough
for preventing too much gas. We feed and then burp and he's usually ok with gas.

Also we give him gripe water once a day and Mylcon 3-4 times.
Bottle3




Bundle-me - for the car seat. This is great for keeping the kid warm and cozy in

the car seat during the winter months. It was also handy since the seat was big
for him when he was a newborn and this added some cushion.
BundleMe



Feeding pillow my wife liked the best was Brest friend, it was better than the
Boppy since it warped around. My wife was starting to wrist pains from holding
the baby up until she started using this.
pillow



For swaddling we tried Swaddleme but he would fight his way out. Then we found
one that you can place the hands in flap that tucks under him and he couldn't
fight out of that one. Only trouble was that he would get too hot in it. I don't

see it on Amazon though. We picked it up from a birth store in Denville.

The sleeping sacks he also liked, similar to one below.
Sack


This CD seems to work well for him. It's not magic but if he's tired it helps
him fall asleep faster.
CD



A flask of hot water is good to keep around if you guys are going to bottle
feed. Maybe not as big as the one I got but it was more geared to travel, we
have a smaller one for home use.
Flask

This Sony Baby monitor was good since it has voice activated mode. It turns on
when it hears crying.
monitor

the baby clothes that open the front and much easier to put on. greber makes
some.
Onesies



Don't buy diaper systems that seal. When you open it later you'll be hit hard.

Better off letting wet diapers air out and place the other in the garage or
outside. We usually place poopy diapers in a diaper bag. It's also handy for
disposing them while on travel.
Bag

Currently we're using Playtex VentAire as his bottles and it works well. He's 18 months now. We're expecting number 2 at the end of July, it's going to be interesting with 2 kids. At least we can be a little more confident this time.
I would also recommend a class for first timers. It's a little less intimidating when you have some idea of what's happening during labor. We just watched one online and it was insightful.

 

[rasczak]

It wasn't so much a pain as it was an incredibly boring, frustrating time. At least for me. My wife was in even worse shape because we checked in on a Monday afternoon. They got her on the mag + petosin drip. She slept there overnight in a room with a methed out white trash chick making angry calls all night to her baby daddy. No sleep. Starting Tuesday morning at 5:00AM they prevented her from eating incase they needed to go emergent c-section. Fast foward to like 10:00 Tuesday night and there was nothing happening. So they crank up the petosin. Tiny little contractions start. But nothing serious. No significant dialation. So at 12:00AM the resident comes in and talks things over and suggests the water breaking. At this point my wife is like whatever...I'm hungry...I'm tired...get this f'n kid out of me. So they come back at 2:00AM and break the water. Then all hell breaks lose and we're parents within the hour.

It was like 30 some hours of nothing nothing nothing nothing then WHAM! Hello kiddo in 1 frantic hour.

did your wife swell up to twice her size due to the mag/petocin drip? Mine did. Luckily she's back to her original size and shape. (yay for me!)

 

[rasczak]

Here's an e-mail I send to some friends that were expecting after we had ours. Links not guaranteed to be up to date.



Currently we're using Playtex VentAire as his bottles and it works well. He's 18 months now. We're expecting number 2 at the end of July, it's going to be interesting with 2 kids. At least we can be a little more confident this time.
I would also recommend a class for first timers. It's a little less intimidating when you have some idea of what's happening during labor. We just watched one online and it was insightful.

I second the ventaire bottles. Before using them, my youngest couldn't sleep at night because of gas, but the switch over to the new bottles was a godsend. Bubbles = gas = no sleep.

 

[vi edit]

did your wife swell up to twice her size due to the mag/petocin drip? Mine did. Luckily she's back to her original size and shape. (yay for me!)

She was already there because of the preeclampsia. She put on almost 60 pounds during pregnancy, of which a large amount was water. Her poor hands, ankles, face, wrists, ect. All just swollen. She never got back to pre-pregger weight but it's more lifestyle than anything else.

 

[airdata]

cool.. other people in my shoes!!

My wife had pre-eclampsia too. They admitted her to the hospital a month out and that was quite fun.

did your wife swell up to twice her size due to the mag/petocin drip? Mine did. Luckily she's back to her original size and shape. (yay for me!)

This is one of the things I took from the experience of child birth. They're giving them Magnesium for the blood pressure. Which also has a side effect of weakening contractions. Then they're giving you pitosin to give them contractions.

They had to re-do the epidural at some point and a few minutes later my wife was asking if her hands should be numb, then 30 seconds after that she was asking if she should be having trouble breathing so they layed her back, THEN... maybe 30 more seconds and she started shaking uncontrollably! This was at 20+ hours into the overnight ordeal. But.. don't fear!! They have another drug to give you to take care of the side effects of the other drugs!

The non epidural pain option was also a double whammy. one drug for pain, and another to combat whatever side effects it has...

It all just seemed ridiculous to me the amount of drugs involved. Having been through that, you find a complete respect for the birthing process. I would not want to have to go through the mental and physical ordeal my wife went through.

And then after all of that, 26+ hours labor?

C section!