Having my first child...

[highland145]

Me too. I want a babby.

YOUR LIFE WILL NEVER BE YOU OWN AGAIN.

That's all I got.

 

[pcgeek11]

Why or why not?

Better you than me.

Remember, your child is not that special and you and your wife aren't special just because you managed to produce one. Obviously it's normal to love your own kid more than anything else in the world, but don't expect anyone else to give a crap.

That is why not.

 

[polarmystery]

Don't post baby pictures on Facebook.

I SWEAR WHY DOES EVERYONE DO THIS?!?!?!

 

[ichy]

Re: my previous comment, I didn't mean to sound like a hater. To a parent their kid should be the most special & important thing in the world, but please be level-headed enough to understand that your feelings are not rational and if you endlessly subject others to them we will simply hate you. To everyone else your kids is just a continuation of a normal biological process that produces drool, poo and noise.

 

[Lamont Burns]

Don't do this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xTY_fJXZtcw&feature=related

 

[Texashiker]

My kids are 24, 22, 17 and 15. The three oldest are boys and the youngest is a girl.

Their mom and I split up a few years ago after 14 years of marriage.

The responsibility of raising a child is sometimes overwhelming. Its not what its made out to be by magazines and other people. There were times when my wife and I had our oldest in the emergency room at 2am because his fever would not break. The worry of losing my job and not being able to support my family is sometimes overwhelming.

When my ex-wife and I went through our divorce, I am sure it took an emotional toll on the children.

If I had it to do all over again, I would have probably stopped at 1,,, "maybe" 2 kids. I dont even know if I would have had kids after everything that I have been through with the divorce, and the child support office staying on my back every few years.

 

[Lotheron]

• Take lots of pictures, they grow up way too fast.
• Diaper price does not necessarily mean the best, for us the cheaper Luvs work way better than the more expensive huggies.
• If the baby isn't' responding well to one type of formula (read: colic), don't be afraid to try another kind. We switched to soy when our daughter was 6 weeks old and it was the best decision we could have made.
• Baby proof, yes, but the baby won't be moving more than 6 inches at a time for the first 4 months at least.

 

[highland145]

Give it a normal name.

LA-A (that's pronounced la'dasha) and Creek aren't normal.

 

[Texashiker]

• If the baby isn't' responding well to one type of formula (read: colic), don't be afraid to try another kind. We switched to soy when our daughter was 6

If at all possible, formula should not even be an option.

OP - there are studies that show epidurals affects a newborns ability to latch onto the breast.

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2006/12/061211092622.htm

Epidurals given during labour and birth are associated with decreased rates of breastfeeding, both in the short and long term.

Some studies show up to a 70% decrease in successfully being able to breastfeed after getting an epidural.

Then again, some studies show no affect. But it might be something you and your wife should consider.

 

[highland145]

Some studies show up to a 70% decrease in successfully being able to breastfeed after getting an epidural.

And 100% chance of NOT getting laid again if she has it natural.

 

[polarmystery]

And 100% chance of NOT getting laid again if she has it natural.

 

[HydroSqueegee]

If at all possible, formula should not even be an option.

OP - there are studies that show epidurals affects a newborns ability to latch onto the breast.

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2006/12/061211092622.htm



Some studies show up to a 70% decrease in successfully being able to breastfeed after getting an epidural.

Then again, some studies show no affect. But it might be something you and your wife should consider.

my first child wouldnt brest feed OR bottle feed well at all, he would do it a little, but not enough. he just wouldnt eat well! we ended up having to use a syrange quite a bit to feed him in the early weeks. He was and still is a pretty small kid (6yo now). He was falling off the growth chart, failure to thrive and all that...

turns out his adenoids were overly large and he just couldnt breathe while eating. only found that out because i just happened to mention to the doctor he snored a decent bit when he asked how he was doing. So one quicjk surgery later, all was well and he started eating better right away.

 

[HydroSqueegee]

Advice?

First child is stressful as hell. you'll figure it out after a bit. And when in doubt, or have questions, ask those with at least a few years under their belt as parents. you get alllllllllllll kinds of advice.

 

[vi edit]

Couple things I learned.....

1. Everyone....family....friends....random people at the checkout lines will solicit advice on how to handle your kid. Most of it is shit and you'll grow very tired of hearing it. What works for one kid won't always work with another. And what used to work on your kid won't always work in the future. They will continue to test every ounce of patience and logic you have.

2. Be prepared to lose contact with your single/kidless friends. You have entered the realm of breeders and are no longer welcomed in their homes.

3. Find a 30 minute long TV series (or several) you haven't seen and stock up on them. You will be living your life in 15-30 minute segements the first 6 months or so. Full length movies are out of the equation.

4. You now have to share your wifes body/time with someone else. Be ready to accept that the child will take precidence.

5. Your wife is going to through a flurry of emotions and physical stress. Help and support her. And just filter out some of it.

6. Be prepared for your life to literally on fast forward. Seriously....since having a child my life has flown by. You simply wake up and a month has gone by and barely remember it being more than a day or two. You are constantly kept busy and always doing something. It's just something you'll understand once you get there.

7. Two hours of free time will feel like heaven on earth and you will look back on your pre-kid life and realize just how much time you wasted watching TV, playing video games and so on. Getting free time after kids provides a completely different level of appreciation for it.

8. All your child really wants is your attention, affection and approval. Toys, TV, Video games and computers can't replace that. I'm kinda breaking an earlier suggestion but it's worth mentioning. So many new parents, especially professional ones married to technology want all kinds of fancy toys, educational tv shows, learning games on an Ipad ect. None of those replace you and a cardboard box or you and a piece of paper and some crayons interacting with your child. Sorry if that sounds preachy but it's something that is easy to forget with us having busy schedules and having so many things that draw away our attentions.

 

[TwiceOver]

We had our son about 11 months ago now.

1. The birth is absolutely the most amazing thing I had ever seen. Be there.

2. Your child will eventually break you. It is innevitable. Once that happens though, everything is so much better.

3. Have fun. They are the most awesome pet.

EDIT:

And of course, take LOTS of pics. They'll never be "that" size again.

 

[ichy]

Please don't be one of those loathsome parents who never disciplines their kids and gives in to temper tantrums.

 

[highland145]

Your baby will be wrapped in a hospital blanket just like this.

It's some type of plot.

 

[vi edit]

Your baby will be wrapped in a hospital blanket just like this.

It's some type of plot.

Ours looked like this:
http://ny-image3.etsy.com/il_75x75.41131615.jpg

 

[Turin39789]

Congrats! We are just about 6 months in.

The baby will get used to the noises it hears in the womb now, as others have said you shouldn't have to tip toe around a sleeping baby. We have several barking dogs and they don't phase her too much.

Every baby is different, no matter what advice you get you will have to tailor it to your experience and your child.

We went with cloth diapers instead of paper, and have had a very positive experience. If it's something you're open to I can go into more detail.

Be supportive of your wife, don't expect much sleep for the first few months. I had an idea of what we were going to be dealing with and we managed it pretty well. No matter what there are going to be a few nights where you are just exhausted and aggravated, but you endure. Don't shake the baby! The memory of the first few months is fading now that she sleeps through the night, I still don't know how we did it but I do remember that as we were going through it it didn't feel that bad.

We breastfeed so that is my experience, and it has worked out well. Puts some more burden on the working mom but good for baby. Check with your hospital, they may have a lactation consultant who can really help you get started and who you can check in with when you have any problems.


We have lots of family in the area, her mother came in from out of town and stayed with us for the first week, which was nice, but you also need to be ready to tell people they can't come over or to give you a break if they are dropping by too much.

Don't be afraid to take a healthy baby places, ours was out to the store and family events in the first few weeks, and slept in her car seat at a restaurant while we had lunch at three weeks old.

Enjoy yourself.

 

[dpodblood]

Seriously though congrats. I don't get why people think you shouldn't put baby pictures on facebook. Just set up your profile so only your friends and family can see.

 

[vi edit]

Heh one thing is for sure....just when you start getting comfortable they introduce a new wrinkle you have to adjust to.

That three month to six month range where they sleep through the night and are still immobile instills some false confidence. Once they start crawling/walking things get interesting. Then they can start talking.... and back talking. Then comes potty training. And so on. Every couple weeks theres something new to adapt to.

 

[nerp]

It changes your life. You can't do whatever the hell you want when you want to anymore. Tired and want a nap in the afternoon? Not if the baby isn't napping. You'll see how it is when it happens.

 

[ch33zw1z]

You'll never ever EVER feel "ready". The best advice I received was to put the baby in the crib to sleep starting the first night home. Starting a solid bedtime routine early will save you much headache later on, like when the kid hits 2 years and doesn't want to do anything you say.

Take each day one at a time.

 

[Turin39789]

Heh one thing is for sure....just when you start getting comfortable they introduce a new wrinkle you have to adjust to.

That three month to six month range where they sleep through the night and are still immobile instills some false confidence. Once they start crawling/walking things get interesting. Then they can start talking.... and back talking. Then comes potty training. And so on. Every couple weeks theres something new to adapt to.

but I'm right in the middle of the false confidence stage!

 

[vi edit]

but I'm right in the middle of the false confidence stage!

Yep. The next one comes when they are walking and pretty manageable but still in diapers. Then comes potty training. A simple trip to the grocery store becomes an adventure. Especially as a dad with a daughter. Men's room's shitter's are pretty nasty places.