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Hate. Long time hate. Could you? Do you want to? Even mature people can snap...
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cavemanmoron
Lifer
not true, you can have hateful feelings,but not act on them,
God loves us All,
even Me,{I}
caveman,
please talk to someone,a counselor, it will help..
MichaelD
Lifer
No details. No denial or admitting what has been alleged. Server logs and backups are legal documents, you know.
I got news for you. i could commit the almost perfect crime. Really. Know how I'd get caught? No, not from the newsgroup logs, but because I'd be the first person the authorities would suspect. Sucks ass. Somebody NEEDS to feel pain....not [wimpy]papercut[/wimpy] pain, but PAIN....like not even Satan has come up with...come to think of it, there's no physical torture known to man that could come close to what I have had to endure all these years.
Only I could make this right. Only me. It's truly sad that I'll never be able to do it. Really. Really, it's sad.
There really ARE people in this world that deserve to be punished...Osama, Saddam, Kaddafi (sp?) and this person...they_require_retribution_IN_SPADES.
I got news for you. i could commit the almost perfect crime. Really. Know how I'd get caught? No, not from the newsgroup logs, but because I'd be the first person the authorities would suspect. Sucks ass. Somebody NEEDS to feel pain....not [wimpy]papercut[/wimpy] pain, but PAIN....like not even Satan has come up with...come to think of it, there's no physical torture known to man that could come close to what I have had to endure all these years.
Only I could make this right. Only me. It's truly sad that I'll never be able to do it. Really. Really, it's sad.
There really ARE people in this world that deserve to be punished...Osama, Saddam, Kaddafi (sp?) and this person...they_require_retribution_IN_SPADES.
umm i may be wrong here but are u in an altered state?
like drinking, smoking, licking frogs etc..cuz seriously man some of the stuff your coming up with is just weird.
Satan, mephisto talking to you in dreams...old world tomes and the universe...a giant talking rabbit....
MichaelD
Lifer
Sad thing?
If not for AT, I'd have probably snapped already.
If you knew me in everyday life, you'd never know or even suspect. I'm not the loner that doens't talk to anyone, ever.
I'm the guy that jokes in the office. The guy that everyone buys lunch for. I go to all the after work parties,etc.....buy my closet....my closet is full....with one bigass skeleton....it needs to be blown to bits. Three times. :|
MichaelD
Lifer
I am well-read. Dante's Inferno is my favorite book. I was raised religiously, but am very non-practicing now. <--I can think for myself, thanks... But I still hold on to old superstitons.
I'll show you what I've known all this time.
God hates us all.
I have no faith.
I know why your prayers will never be answered.
God hates us all.
Why should anyone ever see.
The pain for you and the pain for me?
I'll instigate, I'll free your mind.
I'll show you what I've known all this time.
God hates us all...you know it's true...
You know it's true, he hates this place.
You know it's true, he hates this race.
Die for peace or die for war.
The beauty of death, we all adore.
I know why your prayers will never be answered.
Pray on your knees.
Your sheltered life will never be seen.
You need your mind needs to be freed.
I have no faith...destructive me.
He fcking hates me.
MichaelD
Lifer
Not a "devil worshipper." I'm a nothing worshipper. Well, then again...whatever entity can make it all go away...I'll sell my soul to. It's not chemicals, it's not alcohol...God knows (I guess...) that it is not sex....allthough I keep trying that one.....
Take your religion and stick it up your blind, sheep-nose-to-sheep-@ss nose. How about that, bible-boy?
Take your religion and stick it up your blind, sheep-nose-to-sheep-@ss nose. How about that, bible-boy?
its weird i remember having actual dreams were i felt sorry for the devil after sitting there discussing the world God had created..he had a human form... wasnt scared or anything..after waking up i felt amused by the whole thing...i have very interesting dreams regularly to say the least i think these came during high school where i had a few very good religious class instructors who didnt hammer you with stories but the ideology and history behind the biblical scriptures, they taught me to think and understand the purpose of the scriptures and realize what was happening in the world when they were written
kranky
Elite Member
Michael, I really hope you are exaggerating your feelings for the ATOT crowd, because it is just unhealthy to feel that way.
"Life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% how you react to it." - Charles Swindoll. The "how you react" is within your control, and hate is such a waste of energy.
"Life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% how you react to it." - Charles Swindoll. The "how you react" is within your control, and hate is such a waste of energy.
I know exactly how you feel. You already know some of the things I say and hate me. We had a place we could go, a padded room where we could freak out, and allow anything to happen without fear of harming oureslves or anybody. I wish you did. You are filled with the hate of a traumatic childhood in which you were taught through brutality that you are worthless. You were made to eat your feelings of wanting to kill back in revenge, because you didn't have a chance. You were made to suffet tremendous pain and to smile or else. You need to get into therapy with somebody who understands and is prepared to allow you to express these feelings, to relive them and come out with all that bottled up rage. You have fixated on one person as the source of your misery. You doubtless caused (her) some suffering of your own. People have a way of finding the type of person they are skilled at stabbing through the heart. She doubtless unconsciously picked you as you picked her.
You may be smart, but when it comes to yourself you are completely blind. Up for you will be down. The hate you feel is a projection onto the world of how you were made to feel about yourself. The feeling that God hates you is you hating yourself. I can tell you that reliving your childhood beatings etc will scare the sh!t out of you. You would kill to avoid it. That in part is what this is about. You are trying to say that you don't deserve what you have gotten. You don't, but you actually feel that you do. Becomming conscious of how much this is really all just about what is in your head is tremendously painful. There is nothing that could have been any different and nobody you can really blame. I wish you well. Feel your feelings, don't act them out.
You may be smart, but when it comes to yourself you are completely blind. Up for you will be down. The hate you feel is a projection onto the world of how you were made to feel about yourself. The feeling that God hates you is you hating yourself. I can tell you that reliving your childhood beatings etc will scare the sh!t out of you. You would kill to avoid it. That in part is what this is about. You are trying to say that you don't deserve what you have gotten. You don't, but you actually feel that you do. Becomming conscious of how much this is really all just about what is in your head is tremendously painful. There is nothing that could have been any different and nobody you can really blame. I wish you well. Feel your feelings, don't act them out.
MichaelD,
You need to stop posting on here, and seek professional help. Your statements are treading dangerously close to the line. What you are talking of is not healthy, and you are discussing contemplating murder...in a public forum no less. You need to get help. You can start by going to your doctor who can begin you on the process to seeing a mental health professional.
You need to stop posting on here, and seek professional help. Your statements are treading dangerously close to the line. What you are talking of is not healthy, and you are discussing contemplating murder...in a public forum no less. You need to get help. You can start by going to your doctor who can begin you on the process to seeing a mental health professional.
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