(Guy Thread) Your ex-girlfriend turned into a slut, but won't give you any...does this bother you?

[MichaelD]

Hopefully, this doesn't get locked as my intentions here are honest.

I have an ex-girlfriend that lives in my town. We are still quite friendly, chatting once a week or so. We are good friends and have helped each other out (emotionally) on quite a few occassions.

About three years ago, we dated for about 6 months and broke up at my request. She smokes, she has cats, she is a slob. <--either one of those is grounds for dismissal in my book. Other than that, she's a great person. But anyway...

Since we broke up, we have not "done anything." Honestly, I've tried a few times...under the guise of "casual sex"...you know, the whole consenting adult thing...I could sell snow to an Eskimo, but she wouldn't cave. She rebuffed me with "our friendship would suffer for it...not worth it." And she's probably right.

However, over the past year, she's become a bit loose. She's been meeting guys at clubs, on the internet etc. She's had about 6 BFs in the past year and at least two flings that I know about.

What ticks me off is that she won't share with me! I mean, she's having casual sex w/all these guys...why not with me? That aspect of our relationship was top-notch...I usually had to beat her with a stick to get her to let me get some sleep...so why ain't she giving to the needy instead of being greedy?

Please, let's keep the responses on-topic. I care less about Morality. I practice safe-sex. Mr. Trojan is my bestest friend. So, what's up with her?

 

[cjchaps]

You still want some of that? It's not sloppy seconds, it's sloppy sixths... :Q

 

[iamwiz82]

Originally posted by: cjchaps
You still want some of that? It's not sloppy seconds, it's sloppy sixths... :Q

ewwwwww... no double dipping

 

[Hammer]

just explain to her that you're horny and that if she's really your friend she would put out.

 

[MichaelD]

Originally posted by: hammer09
just explain to her that you're horny and that if she's really your friend she would put out.

Dude, believe it or not, I've tried exactly that. I've even told her "c'mon...you KNOW it's gonna be great!" She says "yes, it will be great and then I won't be able to look at myself in the mirror without feeling guilty."

I have played the "little devil guy on your shoulder" and everything. We both know that we could never be together...we are too different. But other than that, it's all good.

 

[propellerhead]

1. To her, there is no friendship to be lost with the one-night stands.
2. She's probably thriving on the excitement of the one-night stands and Internet dates.

You're old news to her. Boring.

 

[MomAndSkoorbaby]

She respects you. Plain and simple.

 

[UberDave]

maybe she's got some desease that she doesn't want to give you

 

[MichaelD]

Originally posted by: propellerhead
1. To her, there is no friendship to be lost with the one-night stands.
2. She's probably thriving on the excitement of the one-night stands and Internet dates.

You're old news to her. Boring.

*breaks down and sobs into hands* Boring? That never occured to me...gee, I like to think of myself as fairly studly. Maybe I can put on a clown suit or something?

 

[iamwiz82]

Originally posted by: MrsSkoorb
She respects you. Plain and simple.

you poor bastard

 

[MomAndSkoorbaby]

Oops, I got more.

One night stands don't mean anything you see. They are easy to do without the emotional attachement (not that I would know from experience, just some basic psychology here). With you, you have a friendship and that means something emotionally. Take that how you want. I wish you the best!

 

[MichaelD]

Originally posted by: MrsSkoorb
She respects you. Plain and simple.

You know, I honestly must say that you are right. We do respect each other a great deal. Really. She has been there as a friend for me when nobody else would return my calls. I have driven four hours each way to pick her up when her car broke down. Friends do that for each other.

But the GUY in me feels that there's nothing wrong w/casual sex. Lots of people (men AND women) have that "Partner Under Glass." You know, "In case of emergency, break glass?"

 

[TomC25]

I had a similar situation with a ex about 6 years ago. I was her second and her first was his first time. She knew nothing about being with a man. I taught her well. Then when we broke up she was a sex maniac and started to go clubbing and meeting new guys all the time. I was still friends with her because she was friends with my best friend's girlfriend. My boy's girl introduced her to a scummy guy who just made her into a slut. She told me about how she made sex videos with like 5 people. What a freak she became. I did not want to be with her after we broke up so that is one difference in our story. I lost track of her, but I would not be suprised if she was a stripper now.

 

[StageLeft]

That sucks for you!!

 

[MomAndSkoorbaby]

Originally posted by: MichaelD

Originally posted by: MrsSkoorb
She respects you. Plain and simple.

You know, I honestly must say that you are right. We do respect each other a great deal. Really. She has been there as a friend for me when nobody else would return my calls. I have driven four hours each way to pick her up when her car broke down. Friends do that for each other.

But the GUY in me feels that there's nothing wrong w/casual sex. Lots of people (men AND women) have that "Partner Under Glass." You know, "In case of emergency, break glass?"

LOL Horny guys are like emotional woman: irrational.

Obviously she does not want that type of relationship with you. Casual sex with someone you hardly know I am betting is a hell of a lot easier than with a very very good friend. Having sex with a friend leads to complications and perhaps she is not ready to deal with that. Mind you, these complications can be for the better, or not. Talk with her. Even ask her about it if you want. See what she says. That will be your answer!

 

[DaiShan]

Dude...it's obvious what's going on here, she is punishing you for breaking it off.

 

[jjones]

Women are evil; learn to accept it.

 

[PlatinumGold]

Dude...it's obvious what's going on here, she is punishing you for breaking it off.

Ya, what he said OR she is playing hard to get and wants you back.

 

[MichaelD]

Originally posted by: MrsSkoorb

Originally posted by: MichaelD

Originally posted by: MrsSkoorb
She respects you. Plain and simple.

You know, I honestly must say that you are right. We do respect each other a great deal. Really. She has been there as a friend for me when nobody else would return my calls. I have driven four hours each way to pick her up when her car broke down. Friends do that for each other.

But the GUY in me feels that there's nothing wrong w/casual sex. Lots of people (men AND women) have that "Partner Under Glass." You know, "In case of emergency, break glass?"

LOL Horny guys are like emotional woman: irrational.

Obviously she does not want that type of relationship with you. Casual sex with someone you hardly know I am betting is a hell of a lot easier than with a very very good friend. Having sex with a friend leads to complications and perhaps she is not ready to deal with that. Mind you, these complications can be for the better, or not. Talk with her. Even ask her about it if you want. See what she says. That will be your answer!

[pouting and stomping feet]Yeah, but she knows me! She's known me for three years! I guess you're right. [/pouting and stomping feet]

 

[MomAndSkoorbaby]

Show up at her house, unexpected, all decked out. You know, showered, shaved, tie, the whole works. Giver her your best moves.

 

[Hammer]

This reminds me of a quote I used to have in my sig

"Why not? Why aren't you puttin out yet, team mate?" - Scott Helvenston

Try that on her

 

[Michael1897]

tough luck guy but from one michael to another i don't think i'd want a piece of it after what you just said about her going sex crazy.

then again don't bring it up with her just talk to her as a friend w/o displaying your need for sex when she says what's up you haven't been talking about sex with me tell her you don't know if you find her attractive in that way anymore and just see her as a good friend, when she reacts with flirting jump on it and ride.

*warning* could back fire and she says oh and she could become even more comfortable with you w/o fearing that you'll try to ruin your friendship *warning*

 

[LordThing]

Basically what you heard above is right. Been in this very situation before. Girl is a total hooch when it comes to random guys, but if you even ask or mention sex you get the "is that all you want frome me/think about?" speech. ~roll eyes~ No, of course not..but I am friggin human and we like each other...why not!?!

Basically, its a been there/done that situation. She had you...she likes you...she is afraid of where it might lead or if it leads nowhere. With the random guys, it's the new'ness of the situation that excites her. She craves that first kiss, that possibility. She already knows it with you and can't see you in the same "use them/loose them" light.

It sucks, she likes you so she wont screw you. Kinda a total God mulligan. ~sigh~

 

[DDCSpeed]

its just like that. the friendship will suffer. Just because she sleeps with other guys does not mean she will sleep with you. The reason why is because she wants to sleep with other guys but you. YOU ARE HER FRIEND.

 

[MichaelD]

Well, allrightythen. I'm not digging this "friend" thing too much.