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Got any bad jokes?

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here you go...

you: "I have a great knock knock joke, but you start it"
them: "Knock knock!"
you: "who's there?"
them: "................."

haha!
 
My all time favorite knock knock joke has to be...

Knock knock
Who's there?
Interrupting starfish
Interrupting st(*Put hand in face of victim*)


It's great. Oh...totally uncalled for is another great answer to the knock knock joke...only this time you slap the person as they ask who.
 
Originally posted by: Narse
Two sausages are in a frying pan. The first sausage says to the second sausage, "Man it's hot in here!" the second sausage replies "AHHHHHHH a talking sausage!!!!"
Click to expand...

ROFLCOPTER!

 
Originally posted by: dudeman007
My all time favorite knock knock joke has to be...

Knock knock
Who's there?
Interrupting starfish
Interrupting st(*Put hand in face of victim*)


It's great. Oh...totally uncalled for is another great answer to the knock knock joke...only this time you slap the person as they ask who.
Click to expand...

Hahahaha, this is my new favorite, I'm gonna lose all my friends by getting them with this one!
 
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Centipede
Centipede who?
Centipede on the Christmas Tree!
("Santa peed on the Christmas tree" for the slow ones out there 😉)
 
How many Windows programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

472. One to write WinGetLightBulbHandle, one to write WinQueryStatusLightBulb, one to write WinGetLightSwitchHandle...
 
If a chicken and a half can lay an egg and a half, how many waffles does it take to shingle a dog house?

Zero, because cats don't like ice cream.
 
If we're driving down the highway and a wheel on the canoe falls off, how many flap jacks does it take to fill up a dog house?

There's no answer.
 
A pirate walks into a bar, and he has a ship's huge steering wheel hanging from the front of his belt. The bartender looks at the ridiculous pirate and says "what's with the wheel?" The pirate looks down, a bit perplexed and says to the bartender, "Yar, I don't know how it got there, but its been drivin me nuts."
 
Originally posted by: Prism
Originally posted by: dudeman007
My all time favorite knock knock joke has to be...

Knock knock
Who's there?
Interrupting starfish
Interrupting st(*Put hand in face of victim*)


It's great. Oh...totally uncalled for is another great answer to the knock knock joke...only this time you slap the person as they ask who.
Click to expand...

Hahahaha, this is my new favorite, I'm gonna lose all my friends by getting them with this one!
Click to expand...

I'm thinking upping the ante to interrupting cream pie 🙂
 
From the time Charlie was a little kid he wanted to drive a street car. He dreamed about it, talked about, had pictures of street cars in his room, read books about them, everything in Charlie's world was street cars. On his 21st birthday, Charlie went down to the public works department and took the driver's exam. He flunked. So Charlie spent the next six months studying night and day to pass the exam. He flunked again. Now Charlie was desperate. If he failed the exam a third time, that was it, he could never be a street car driver. So Charlie studied all the more. He read every manual over and over. He memorized the routes, knew all the rules. Yet on his third try he flunked for good. Charlie was heart broken. He wandered the streets in anguish.

Then, one day Charlie saw a driver hop off the street car to fetch a soda. Charlie thought "Here is my chance". Charlie jumped in the driver's seat and took off. Charlie was in heaven, he was driving a street car! He laughed aloud in absolute joy. He slammed into a crowd of pedestrians, killing fourteen. The police lead him away in cuffs as he screamed that it wasn't his fault.

Charlie was found guilty of fourteen counts of negligent homicide and sentenced to death. On the day of his execution Charlie, still pleading his innocence, was strapped into the electric chair, and the switch was thrown. The power surged yet nothing happened to Charlie. The warden came forth and told Charlie that he was free to go. Under the rules of the state, if an execution failed the prisoner was freed. Charlie broke down in utter despair, sobbing and cursing his fate. The warden, puzzled to say the least, asked Charlie why he was so sad. Charlie replied "I just realized that I really am a bad conductor."
 
Originally posted by: ironwing
From the time Charlie was a little kid he wanted to drive a street car. He dreamed about it, talked about, had pictures of street cars in his room, read books about them, everything in Charlie's world was street cars. On his 21st birthday, Charlie went down to the public works department and took the driver's exam. He flunked. So Charlie spent the next six months studying night and day to pass the exam. He flunked again. Now Charlie was desperate. If he failed the exam a third time, that was it, he could never be a street car driver. So Charlie studied all the more. He read every manual over and over. He memorized the routes, knew all the rules. Yet on his third try he flunked for good. Charlie was heart broken. He wandered the streets in anguish.

Then, one day Charlie saw a driver hop off the street car to fetch a soda. Charlie thought "Here is my chance". Charlie jumped in the driver's seat and took off. Charlie was in heaven, he was driving a street car! He laughed aloud in absolute joy. He slammed into a crowd of pedestrians, killing fourteen. The police lead him away in cuffs as he screamed that it wasn't his fault.

Charlie was found guilty of fourteen counts of negligent homicide and sentenced to death. On the day of his execution Charlie, still pleading his innocence, was strapped into the electric chair, and the switch was thrown. The power surged yet nothing happened to Charlie. The warden came forth and told Charlie that he was free to go. Under the rules of the state, if an execution failed the prisoner was freed. Charlie broke down in utter despair, sobbing and cursing his fate. The warden, puzzled to say the least, asked Charlie why he was so sad. Charlie replied "I just realized that I really am a bad conductor."
Click to expand...

that kicked ass! disqualified!
 
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