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Girlfriend broke up with me over early acceptance to university

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Originally posted by: zCypher
Wow. Everyone jumps and quotes the "don't sacrifice your education for a relationship" crap. Yeah, going to one school over another is really sacrificing your relationship! LMAO! Unless you live in the ghetto right now, or somewhere that is really known to have very low standard schools, then you're breaking off your relationship for a stupid reason, if it really does mean a lot to you. A degree is a degree and you'll learn pretty much the SAME material from one school to another. Unless you graduate from a very prestigous school with very very high marks, I don't see the big advantage of going to that school in TO over wherever you are now. I would just stay. You'll enjoy yourself more if you really do love your GF.

In contrast if she came with you that would work too, but it's easier for you to stay than for her to move. Sacrificing your education LMAO .. yeah ok.
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When I think back on all the halfassed relationships I had in high school that never would have worked out no matter how much I thought I was in love with those girls, I can see that it would have been a complete waste to go to a school other than the one I wanted to go to just to please one of them. I would have been pissed about not going to the school of my choice, and the relationship wasn't going to last anyway.

So funk that.
 
Originally posted by: zCypher
Wow. Everyone jumps and quotes the "don't sacrifice your education for a relationship" crap. Yeah, going to one school over another is really sacrificing your relationship! LMAO! Unless you live in the ghetto right now, or somewhere that is really known to have very low standard schools, then you're breaking off your relationship for a stupid reason, if it really does mean a lot to you. A degree is a degree and you'll learn pretty much the SAME material from one school to another. Unless you graduate from a very prestigous school with very very high marks, I don't see the big advantage of going to that school in TO over wherever you are now. I would just stay. You'll enjoy yourself more if you really do love your GF.

In contrast if she came with you that would work too, but it's easier for you to stay than for her to move. Sacrificing your education LMAO .. yeah ok.
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I guess it would depend on what you're actually studying and if the schools are really that different.. but I agree with zCypher. Though she shouldn't have set this ultimatum in the first place, choosing one school from another is not that HUGE of a decision, especially as stated by someone above who's been to both schools (?). You haven't answered why she couldn't move with you for school... but again, like zCypher has said... it's easier for you to stay with her than for her to move with you (which will also cost more money, no doubt).

Hell, when I got my job, they couldn't care less what school it was from or what it actually said on the degree. They wanted experience and skills more than anything else. Would I have regretted leaving a girl that I had been with for 2 years over a piece of paper ? Hell yes, yes I would have. And you saying that she is a good gf and seems committed to you makes it that much better for you to stay. That's what I'd do provided all the info you've given.
 
Originally posted by: rh71
Originally posted by: zCypher
Wow. Everyone jumps and quotes the "don't sacrifice your education for a relationship" crap. Yeah, going to one school over another is really sacrificing your relationship! LMAO! Unless you live in the ghetto right now, or somewhere that is really known to have very low standard schools, then you're breaking off your relationship for a stupid reason, if it really does mean a lot to you. A degree is a degree and you'll learn pretty much the SAME material from one school to another. Unless you graduate from a very prestigous school with very very high marks, I don't see the big advantage of going to that school in TO over wherever you are now. I would just stay. You'll enjoy yourself more if you really do love your GF.

In contrast if she came with you that would work too, but it's easier for you to stay than for her to move. Sacrificing your education LMAO .. yeah ok.
Click to expand...
I guess it would depend on what you're actually studying and if the schools are really that different.. but I agree with zCypher. Though she shouldn't have set this ultimatum in the first place, choosing one school from another is not that HUGE of a decision, especially as stated by someone above who's been to both schools (?). You haven't answered why she couldn't move with you for school... but again, like zCypher has said... it's easier for you to stay with her than for her to move with you (which will also cost more money, no doubt).

Hell, when I got my job, they couldn't care less what school it was from or what it actually said on the degree. They wanted experience and skills more than anything else. Would I have regretted leaving a girl that I had been with for 2 years over a piece of paper ? Hell yes, yes I would have. And you saying that she is a good gf and seems committed to you makes it that much better for you to stay. That's what I'd do provided all the info you've given.
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Yeah but who wants to be with someone who place ultimatums like that on you? They're just high school kids. Besides, believe what you want, but it does make a difference in which college you go to. Granted, in the business world, they just look at what you know. But according to him, this school is 1000 times better so the educational benefits will be much better for him in the long run.
 
Prob for the best. I had a long distance girlfriend in college...we stayed together for a year, but it was shitty and eventually ended on bad terms. You'll be glad this happened when you get to college and meet a nice new girl.
 
You're not going to be the same person in 4 years that you are now. That's always true, but if you go to college, the timespan from H.S. through college is probably the biggest change in you life other then having kids. I wouldn't count on this relationship surviving the distance and that change under the best of circumstances, and judging from her reaction so far, it's not the best of circumstances. So I wouldn't compromise on what you want at this point. Move on.

Aside from that, I advise anybody to go to school away from home if you can afford it. Go to a new place, at least a few hours away and immerse yourself in college life without the distraction of family & highschool friends. Don't run home every weekend. It's a short 4 years and likely the most freedom you'll have in your life. Make the most of it.
 
Originally posted by: dabuddha
Originally posted by: rh71
Originally posted by: zCypher
Wow. Everyone jumps and quotes the "don't sacrifice your education for a relationship" crap. Yeah, going to one school over another is really sacrificing your relationship! LMAO! Unless you live in the ghetto right now, or somewhere that is really known to have very low standard schools, then you're breaking off your relationship for a stupid reason, if it really does mean a lot to you. A degree is a degree and you'll learn pretty much the SAME material from one school to another. Unless you graduate from a very prestigous school with very very high marks, I don't see the big advantage of going to that school in TO over wherever you are now. I would just stay. You'll enjoy yourself more if you really do love your GF.

In contrast if she came with you that would work too, but it's easier for you to stay than for her to move. Sacrificing your education LMAO .. yeah ok.
Click to expand...
I guess it would depend on what you're actually studying and if the schools are really that different.. but I agree with zCypher. Though she shouldn't have set this ultimatum in the first place, choosing one school from another is not that HUGE of a decision, especially as stated by someone above who's been to both schools (?). You haven't answered why she couldn't move with you for school... but again, like zCypher has said... it's easier for you to stay with her than for her to move with you (which will also cost more money, no doubt).

Hell, when I got my job, they couldn't care less what school it was from or what it actually said on the degree. They wanted experience and skills more than anything else. Would I have regretted leaving a girl that I had been with for 2 years over a piece of paper ? Hell yes, yes I would have. And you saying that she is a good gf and seems committed to you makes it that much better for you to stay. That's what I'd do provided all the info you've given.
Click to expand...

Yeah but who wants to be with someone who place ultimatums like that on you? They're just high school kids. Besides, believe what you want, but it does make a difference in which college you go to. Granted, in the business world, they just look at what you know. But according to him, this school is 1000 times better so the educational benefits will be much better for him in the long run.
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I think he is level-headed enough to know what the past 2 years has meant in their relationship. All I'm saying (reiterating) is that he shouldn't be so quick to say SCHOOL > gf when he doesn't have to give up one to get the other. 2 years is a long time to be with someone, and if he truly cares for her, no matter what kind of decision she forces on him, then he will stay with her. I don't know if you have ever had to break up with someone after 2 years+ based on something stupid like this. She will grow out of it in mindset, but you can't get her back once you leave her. Don't be so quick to decide based on a school's reputation and what you don't know can come of it. How is the school actually 1000X better? Is it MIT vs. State University of Bumblefvck ?
 
I've seen this happen over and over again, it is a pretty common situation. The choice is yours, but I think PigPig and eackers hit the nail right on the head. I don't think I've ever seen anyone who picked the stay at home with girlfriend choice NOT ultimately regret the choice they made. Pick what is right for you and your future, don't tie yourself down to a situation that (believe it now or not) has a slim chance of working anyway.
 
Shyte... i would have told her to pack her shyte and get the hell out.... Sacrifice an education so some chick can feel better about herself???

bytch please...
 
I know it's not easy, but in a couple of years you will see that it is worth the sacrifice. She really is selfish for acting the way she did.
 
Maybe she's just scared of you leaving, sometimes that's hard for people. If you were ment to be together, and really love each other, then it'lll work out, and she'll come to senses.

If not, college is alot of fun, and keeps you busy, and you'll be over it in no time. But for now you have the rest of the year to figure things out.
 
Never accept an ultimatum from a woman. If you do, they'll start running your life.

Women, the same goes for you. Never accept an ultimatum from a man.
 
Yup, you'll live to regret it for the rest of your life. I have done skipped out on a few things, and I can never forgive that person for it.
 
Nice job! There are times in your life that you have to look out for yourself and I think going to college is one of them. It's 4 years of the best years of your life. Spend them where you really want to be.

If things are meant to be between you and your girl, everything will be fine
 
Originally posted by: Crimzon
Don't rule out school. Good call. Too young to be sacrificing education for a relationship.
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Yeah if she can't handle it, then forget her, plus seems like she is kinda controlling, so also forget her.

Dogg
 
You're young dude. Don't sacrifice your future!

Can I assume the school in TO is U of T? If so, I have a little secret for you, but don't tell anyone!

There are 35,000 undergrads at U of T. According to my research, about half of them are young women. Most of them are intelligent, and a good portion of them are hot as hell.

I know in my time there that I met alot of girls (more than you're going to meet at any other time in your life). Don't short change yourself.

As if this isnt enough of a case to move ahead and choose TO, U of T is also the best school in the country, with top of the line facilites and faculty.

Finally, it's Toronto dude! There is soooo much more to do here than there is in Ottawa! Go for it!
 
I was in a similar situation once.

First, she's still in love with you but scared of losing you. Don't get mad at her for it. When your situation happened to me, I blew up at my GF and told her to F- off. Bad move.

Be nice to her despite any emotional torture she tries to put you through, but by all means still go to school far away. Going away to school was one of the best things I ever did. You will meet girls there far superior in all ways to your ex.

If you're nice to your GF now, chances are she'll still be interested in you once you get back. I eventually got back together with my ex after coming back home (another bad move, but that's another thread). Being a d!ck before leaving just made it harder to win her over again. So be nice. But still go. You'll appreciate it in 4 years.
 
Originally posted by: Magnum375
The school I was accepted to earlier today is in Toronto, I am in Ottawa. My girlfriend of nearly 2 years made me choose between the school in Toronto and a school at home to stay with her. The school at home would be ok, but the one in T.O is x1000 better. Anyway I told her I cannot possibly choose or rule out the one in T.O and out the door she sent me. Called me an hour later crying, but I cannot tell her I will just rule out the school because I cannot do it, and I have total faith in our relationship lasting through it. I look at it as a huge sacrifice for a few years but how good it would be after. Anyway regardless of how I look at it she will not continue our relationship now.

I don't know how to react really, I will talk to her again tomorrow but I know I will not be able to just rule out the school. Oh the complexities of life.
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Good for you!
 
Originally posted by: LyNx01
Ultimatums=suck
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And "you're going to sit here alone,going without companionship and sex 99.9% of the time unless I feel like paying you a visit " for the next 4 years isn't an ultimatum?

He's got to do whatever he feels is best for himself but bashing the girl because she wants a relationship with somebody who's actually present isn't right either.
 
dang...if she's that emotional and selfish......i don't think she's worth it, but then again, i don't know her....you'll meet a lot of new people in college...and having a long distance relationship is very very tough..it affects ur studies way more than it does when having a GF that goes to your school.....

i've been through it and lived through it...(eventually breakin up w/ my gf...)...but who knows....stay in there dude...good luck i guess...
 
umm... yeah, good call.

sacrifing your future for your relationship is silly when you're young. Especially high school young. People change so much in college, it's best to just let things be. Too much talk about this person is selfish, relationships, understanding, etc. Just do what you need to get done-
 
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