Girlfriend broke up with me over early acceptance to university

[littleprince]

Well... Take it from someone whos been to both Ottawa and Toronto. Toronto is not 1000x better unless your doing eng I would say. Ottawa is definately a much more structured school.

Anyways, if she didnt dump you, dump her...
stupid little girls dunno what life is about.

 

[ROTC1983]

You made the right choice though.

 

[thomsbrain]

my advice really only applies if you think this is a girl you wouldn't mind spending the rest of your life with.

i'll tell you this, speaking from experience:

i left to go to school far away from my long-term gf at the time. we agreed to stay together and try to make it work (and we were sure it would). but it was too hard to be away, and rather than break it off, i returned home. well, returning home was the right choice for a number of reasons, but our relationship was never the same after that. we didn't break up until a year after i came back (we were even living together at the time), but mark my words: i lost her the day i said goodbye and got in the car to drive to school. it doesn't matter how rational people are, there will be underlying blame and anger because you left her, because you chose school over her, because your relationship wasn't the most important thing, etc etc. college is a time when people are changing very quickly, when there are huge psychological leaps being made. if you don't make those together, you'll make them in different directions. the girl i came back to was not the same girl i left.

you have to look at the big picture, and school is not the big picture. there are more important things in life than school or financial success, and one of them is love. people place way too much value in this society on whether you are being "successful." the real successes are when you find soulmates. when you find one, hold on tight. besides, it doesn't sound like this closer school is exactly a hell hole. my advice is to stay. look at it this way: you can always transfer to the nice school later if you change your mind. but i'm telling you that if you leave now, the choice is final.

 

[dquan97]

:camera:s!!!!!!

(Has someone else asked for it?)

 

[Bleep]

Never ever let anyone interfere with your life and what you want. This girl just wants to control you, she does not have the golden woozoo that she thinks she has. A woman like this will forever try and control your life, good ridiance I say. You say she is so dedicated to you? how can she be if she has no interest in your future.

Bleep

 

[Skyclad1uhm1]

Originally posted by: kyu614
why cant she move to toronto with you?

Cause her other boyfriends all live in her hometown

 

[Looney]

I don't think she's selfish... she's being realistic. It's not going to work LD, and she knows it.

 

[PigPig]

from girl's point of view....

If she really loves you, i don't think she'll ask you to choose in that way.
She just cares herself much more than cares about you (or your future).

You should think about if she is really a good/right girlfriend.......

Think deeply before taking any actions.... it may affect your life~~~~

 

[UnatcoAgent]

Originally posted by: Mustangrrl
Wait wait wait, you're placing your interests above hers, doesn't that make you selfish too?

Boys, girls are not put on earth to give give give to you, relationships involve two people (or three, if you're really cool).

That said, I'm sorry your girlfriend broke up with you, I'm sure it's not easy for you and it always sucks to have something crappy happen to you right after something awesome happens. She reacted badly, and she is being a baby, but, you are making a decision that is changing BOTH of your lives forever, she does have a right to react that... it's a tough situation, but I hope you realize you are lucky to have someone to miss you when/if you go, there are millions of people in this world who would LOVE to be in your shoes.

Whatever you choose, it's not going to easy, but that's what being an adult is all about.

Good luck to you.

Thank you - however I have not even decided to go yet - it is the fact that I will not rule the school out that drove her to do this. So no I would not say I am being selfish but I see your point entirely.

 

[Yeeny]

Originally posted by: Ameesh
i would not take her back simply because of that incredibly selfish act. she obviously doesnt care about your your future.

we have a winner

 

[Shade4ever]

I've been in a LD relationship for ~2 years now, plus a year before I went to college...if you're with the right person, it CAN and WILL work. It's not easy, but I'd take the fact that she refuses to try it as an indicator of how she feels toawards your relationship as a whole. Be rid of her and be glad you didn't find out in a worse way how she is.

 

[Angrymarshmello]

Originally posted by: thomsbrain
my advice really only applies if you think this is a girl you wouldn't mind spending the rest of your life with.

i'll tell you this, speaking from experience:

i left to go to school far away from my long-term gf at the time. we agreed to stay together and try to make it work (and we were sure it would). but it was too hard to be away, and rather than break it off, i returned home. well, returning home was the right choice for a number of reasons, but our relationship was never the same after that. we didn't break up until a year after i came back (we were even living together at the time), but mark my words: i lost her the day i said goodbye and got in the car to drive to school. it doesn't matter how rational people are, there will be underlying blame and anger because you left her, because you chose school over her, because your relationship wasn't the most important thing, etc etc. college is a time when people are changing very quickly, when there are huge psychological leaps being made. if you don't make those together, you'll make them in different directions. the girl i came back to was not the same girl i left.

you have to look at the big picture, and school is not the big picture. there are more important things in life than school or financial success, and one of them is love. people place way too much value in this society on whether you are being "successful." the real successes are when you find soulmates. when you find one, hold on tight. besides, it doesn't sound like this closer school is exactly a hell hole. my advice is to stay. look at it this way: you can always transfer to the nice school later if you change your mind. but i'm telling you that if you leave now, the choice is final.

I'm not trying to slam your personal experiences or anything, but like in the bold - people do change very quickly. Just because you go to the same college doesn't mean she's going to change at the same rate or she'll stay the same person she was in high school. It's naive to think that. This 2 year girlfriend might not even be his soulmate - if she TRUELY was, then she'd love him for his decisions and him as a person no matter what school he goes to. It wouldn't matter how much a person changes because a soulmates love each other for who they are, not what they become. His future is far more important than a girlfriend he probably won't even be with a few years down the road.

 

[radioouman]

Like someone else said, college is much better if you're single!

Seriously though, if you can't make this work, you'll find someone else. You're talking about a high school relationship right? You'll get over it.

 

[dabuddha]

Bottom line. If you don't take advantage of this opportunity because of her, you'll always hold it against her and the relationship will go downhill from there.

 

[eakers]

you are better off.
you would have broken up anyways.

 

[StageLeft]

Originally posted by: Magnum375
The school I was accepted to earlier today is in Toronto, I am in Ottawa. My girlfriend of nearly 2 years made me choose between the school in Toronto and a school at home to stay with her. The school at home would be ok, but the one in T.O is x1000 better. Anyway I told her I cannot possibly choose or rule out the one in T.O and out the door she sent me. Called me an hour later crying, but I cannot tell her I will just rule out the school because I cannot do it, and I have total faith in our relationship lasting through it. I look at it as a huge sacrifice for a few years but how good it would be after. Anyway regardless of how I look at it she will not continue our relationship now.

I don't know how to react really, I will talk to her again tomorrow but I know I will not be able to just rule out the school. Oh the complexities of life.

Good man, at this point in your life it's entirely inappropriate to stay at home and go to what you believe to be an inferior school just to stay with your gf.

Anyhow if things are meant to be Ottawa and Toronto are not THAT far away.

But things aren't meant to be and this is how I know how: She gave you an ultimatum and she's in the wrong.

Move on you've made the right choice.

 

[PricklyPete]

Do not choose schools over your girlfriend...if she is a good girlfriend she will support whatever is best for you.

 

[CChaos]

Sounds like perfect timing. No guilt from dumping her and you are single and at college. win-win

 

[CChaos]

Originally posted by: PricklyPete
Do not choose schools over your girlfriend...if she is a good girlfriend she will support whatever is best for you.

Eh? Heh? Wha...?

 

[LeeTJ]

Originally posted by: Crimzon
Don't rule out school. Good call. Too young to be sacrificing education for a relationship.

i agree with this. but don't do it with any delusions of a long distance relationship working out. they rarely do.

OTOH your really too young to be totally committed yet anyway. sheesh, go to school of your choice, meet many many women . . .

 

[Down4U]

Be wiser than her, stay in school. She's obviously either overreacting at the thought of being miles away from you, and at the same time she's being selfish. If she has a good head on her shoulders, she'll deal with it.

Word to the wise.. Do not ruin your life over a girl. Women are like city buses, if you miss one, you can always catch the next.

 

[RealWarlock]

Women are like city buses, if you miss one, you can always catch the next.

 

[zCypher]

Wow. Everyone jumps and quotes the "don't sacrifice your education for a relationship" crap. Yeah, going to one school over another is really sacrificing your relationship! LMAO! Unless you live in the ghetto right now, or somewhere that is really known to have very low standard schools, then you're breaking off your relationship for a stupid reason, if it really does mean a lot to you. A degree is a degree and you'll learn pretty much the SAME material from one school to another. Unless you graduate from a very prestigous school with very very high marks, I don't see the big advantage of going to that school in TO over wherever you are now. I would just stay. You'll enjoy yourself more if you really do love your GF.

In contrast if she came with you that would work too, but it's easier for you to stay than for her to move. Sacrificing your education LMAO .. yeah ok.

 

[zCypher]

Originally posted by: Angrymarshmello

Originally posted by: thomsbrain
my advice really only applies if you think this is a girl you wouldn't mind spending the rest of your life with.

i'll tell you this, speaking from experience:

i left to go to school far away from my long-term gf at the time. we agreed to stay together and try to make it work (and we were sure it would). but it was too hard to be away, and rather than break it off, i returned home. well, returning home was the right choice for a number of reasons, but our relationship was never the same after that. we didn't break up until a year after i came back (we were even living together at the time), but mark my words: i lost her the day i said goodbye and got in the car to drive to school. it doesn't matter how rational people are, there will be underlying blame and anger because you left her, because you chose school over her, because your relationship wasn't the most important thing, etc etc. college is a time when people are changing very quickly, when there are huge psychological leaps being made. if you don't make those together, you'll make them in different directions. the girl i came back to was not the same girl i left.

you have to look at the big picture, and school is not the big picture. there are more important things in life than school or financial success, and one of them is love. people place way too much value in this society on whether you are being "successful." the real successes are when you find soulmates. when you find one, hold on tight. besides, it doesn't sound like this closer school is exactly a hell hole. my advice is to stay. look at it this way: you can always transfer to the nice school later if you change your mind. but i'm telling you that if you leave now, the choice is final.

I'm not trying to slam your personal experiences or anything, but like in the bold - people do change very quickly. Just because you go to the same college doesn't mean she's going to change at the same rate or she'll stay the same person she was in high school. It's naive to think that. This 2 year girlfriend might not even be his soulmate - if she TRUELY was, then she'd love him for his decisions and him as a person no matter what school he goes to. It wouldn't matter how much a person changes because a soulmates love each other for who they are, not what they become. His future is far more important than a girlfriend he probably won't even be with a few years down the road.

Definitely. And I'm sure going to the school closer to him will just *ruin his future*. lol. right...

 

[Warthog912]

Originally posted by: Crimzon
Don't rule out school. Good call. Too young to be sacrificing education for a relationship.

wise words