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Getting married next week!

E

elektrolokomotive

Golden Member
So, my gf and I have been engaged for a little while, then I moved from the Chicago area to
Seattle in pursuit of a job. She was going to leave Chicago with her kids when our lease
expired at the end of June. After speaking to her ex a couple of months ago regarding the
modification of visitation, which he said he wasn't happy about it, but he'd do it, he turns
around and wants to go to court to try and get joint custody!!!

Mind you, this is a guy who is almost a year behind in child support, hides his income from
the IRS, and thinks nothing of blowing off visitations when it's convenient for him. I've
been supporting the kids since I moved in with her.

Meanwhile, we still have to be out of our Chicago house June 30. My gf is going to have to
stay with friends until this get sorted out. It could be a long time before she's able to
move.

Her attorney strongly advised us to get married right away, as this would make our case that
much stronger. So... we're getting married next week when I come back into town to move our
stuff. It's not really the way we wanted our wedding to be, but there you go.
 
Ouch.... but if marriage is gonna make things easier, I guess it's best. You can always have a 'wedding' wedding later on.
 
Do what the wife and I did, get married now and then have the real wedding later. We had the civil ceremony in June out of the need to get it formalized, and then had our real wedding with all the family in October.

The only bad part (from a man's POV) is that I now have two anniversaries per year to remember. 😛
 
Originally posted by: jjones
Do what the wife and I did, get married now and then have the real wedding later. We had the civil ceremony in June out of the need to get it formalized, and then had our real wedding with all the family in October.

The only bad part (from a man's POV) is that I now have two anniversaries per year to remember. 😛
Click to expand...


are u sure you're not the wife? (referring to your icon)
 
hey you don't need the ceremony just yet... just get it legal at city hall and you're golden, no ?
 
Originally posted by: jjones
Do what the wife and I did, get married now and then have the real wedding later. We had the civil ceremony in June out of the need to get it formalized, and then had our real wedding with all the family in October.

The only bad part (from a man's POV) is that I now have two anniversaries per year to remember. 😛
Click to expand...

Just tell her to choose one date. You don't get to have two wedding aniversaries per year. Easy enough!

R
 
If you know that income is being hidden and child support payments are not being paid, let the IRS know. Wages/income may be able to be garnished to help ease the situation.

Remember though, get married for love, not hormones or convienence.
 
Originally posted by: EagleKeeper
If you know that income is being hidden and child support payments are not being paid, let the IRS know. Wages/income may be able to be garnished to help ease the situation.

Remember though, get married for love, not hormones or convienence.
Click to expand...

Believe me, I'm looking into this. Unfortunately, Illinois is very slow to take action. And, ever since he's decided to fight this, the child support payments have been coming in. I don't think he realizes that it's too late for that; he's already in contempt of court. I'm going to take great pleasure in her using that money to fight back.

I am definitely getting married for love. She's the woman I wish I had found 15 years ago.
 
Originally posted by: jjones
Do what the wife and I did, get married now and then have the real wedding later. We had the civil ceremony in June out of the need to get it formalized, and then had our real wedding with all the family in October.

The only bad part (from a man's POV) is that I now have two anniversaries per year to remember. 😛
Click to expand...

lol. that must be hard 🙂
 
Originally posted by: rgwalt
Originally posted by: jjones
Do what the wife and I did, get married now and then have the real wedding later. We had the civil ceremony in June out of the need to get it formalized, and then had our real wedding with all the family in October.

The only bad part (from a man's POV) is that I now have two anniversaries per year to remember. 😛
Click to expand...

Just tell her to choose one date. You don't get to have two wedding aniversaries per year. Easy enough!

R
Click to expand...
LOL, try getting that one over on a female. It ain't gonna happen. 😛
 
You are a good man not only to support her children, but to marry earlier than expected to help her keep custody.

Kudos to you!!

🙂
 
imo, wrong reason to get married. What does your attorney say? You should get one. Her attorney will say what's best for her, not you.

You should get married for the right reasons, that way you can avoid a costly divorce later on in life. Also, remember that if you chose responsibility for the kids and she decides she wants a divorce, you're still responsible for the kids. That's child support for kids that aren't even yours.
 
Originally posted by: cheapbidder01
imo, wrong reason to get married. What does your attorney say? You should get one. Her attorney will say what's best for her, not you.

You should get married for the right reasons, that way you can avoid a costly divorce later on in life. Also, remember that if you chose responsibility for the kids and she decides she wants a divorce, you're still responsible for the kids. That's child support for kids that aren't even yours.
Click to expand...

They have been engaged for a while. They would get married anyway. The only difference is that they are gonna have a civil service immediately, instead of a ceremonial one later.
 
Originally posted by: EagleKeeper
If you know that income is being hidden and child support payments are not being paid, let the IRS know. Wages/income may be able to be garnished to help ease the situation.

Remember though, get married for love, not hormones or convienence.
Click to expand...
If he's hiding his income (employer isn't reporting it) it'll be hard for the IRS to garnish the wages. You would have to first report the employer, assuming they know where the scumbag works.

Also, he said they had been engaged for a while, meaning they made the decision to get married before this came up. In fact, I'm pretty sure the reason to move to another city was strongly affected by the fact that they ARE engaged.

elektrolokomotive, good luck, your being a stand up kinda guy for dealing with 'baggage'. Hope every thing works out well.
 
Originally posted by: badmouse
Congrats, and I wish you happiness and good fortune. Sounds like you've found someone you really care about.
Click to expand...

I will just put in a small word on the behalf on the noncustodial parent. I'll ready to believe that your soon-to-be wife's ex-husband is a dead-beat uncaring father, but many others are just the opposite. I can imagine (NOT speaking from personal experience) how frustrated and powerless I would feel if my children were suddenly moving cross country because my ex-wife decided she wanted to. I can see how I might try for a change to joint custody so that I could have them live with me at least part of each year.

Just my 2 cents...
 
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