Getting married next week!

[kag]

Yeah it sucks, but just get a civil marriage now, not the whole nine yard.

 

[Pliablemoose]

Congrats, & I think it shows your heart is in the right place, my wife & I got married on the same day I (we) went to court to ask for custody of my daughter. It worked out well, & we were awarded custody.

The ex's lawyer asked me if we got married that day to look like a more stable environment for the court, I looked him straight in the eye & said "Yes sir we did" He thought I would tr to lie my way out of it & it just killed him, he had no-where to go... He just stood there @ a loss for words & just sat down, passed me to my lawyer who asked how long we'd been dating/engaged, & I got to add that I didn't think there was a better reason to get married.

Best of luck & I think that kid's getting a pretty cool step-dad.

Has the ex filed for a hearing? It's possible he can keep you in the area with a restraining order till the hearing.

Also, if he hasn't, the state you live in is the one he'll have to deal with. I believe it's ~6 months & you can have the case moved to your new state of residence.

Good luck on the child support, it can be a bitch to get sorted out, I suspect after you move the checks will stop again.

 

[elektrolokomotive]

Originally posted by: PowerEngineer

Originally posted by: badmouse
Congrats, and I wish you happiness and good fortune. Sounds like you've found someone you really care about.

I will just put in a small word on the behalf on the noncustodial parent. I'll ready to believe that your soon-to-be wife's ex-husband is a dead-beat uncaring father, but many others are just the opposite. I can imagine (NOT speaking from personal experience) how frustrated and powerless I would feel if my children were suddenly moving cross country because my ex-wife decided she wanted to. I can see how I might try for a change to joint custody so that I could have them live with me at least part of each year.

Just my 2 cents...

Which is all well and good, assuming he actually cared about his kid. It's not like we're not offering visitation. We've offered 6 weeks in the summer and every other Xmas vacation. From a total days standpoint, it's about equal to what he recieves now, just in a larger "block" of uninterrupted time. Judging from how he only keeps his current visitation when it's convenient for him, maybe he's afraid to commit to such a large expanse of time. His new gf (the one he got pregnant and caused the divorce), doesn't like my fiancee's daughter; probably because she's too much like my gf! It's a real Lifetime movie situtation. I do, however, see your point, and if the situation was as you described there would have to be much more thought and care going into these decisions. If I thought that the child's best interests weren't being served with this plan, it would be a completely different ball game.

 

[EMPshockwave82]

Originally posted by: Xenon14
Ouch.... but if marriage is gonna make things easier, I guess it's best. You can always have a 'wedding' wedding later on.

i agree... if you do love her and want to be with her then jump on in.... if not then i'd still say wait

but if you do get married to her you can still have a big wedding with more planning a little bit later

congrats and GL in the case

 

[dquan97]

Oooo, good stuff for me to work on! What state does the ex live in? If it's in CA, I may be able to turn up the heat on getting him to pay...

 

[elektrolokomotive]

Originally posted by: dquan97
Oooo, good stuff for me to work on! What state does the ex live in? If it's in CA, I may be able to turn up the heat on getting him to pay...

Wish you could. Sadly, it's Illinois.

 

[jadinolf]

Best of luck.

 

[SilentZero]

Originally posted by: jjones

Originally posted by: rgwalt

Originally posted by: jjones
Do what the wife and I did, get married now and then have the real wedding later. We had the civil ceremony in June out of the need to get it formalized, and then had our real wedding with all the family in October.

The only bad part (from a man's POV) is that I now have two anniversaries per year to remember.

Just tell her to choose one date. You don't get to have two wedding aniversaries per year. Easy enough!

R

LOL, try getting that one over on a female. It ain't gonna happen.

I got it over on my wife. We had two weddings a week apart. First one Buddist (for her family, and it lasted 3 days!!!), the second one Catholic (for my family, which was the legal one). We celebrate only the catholic one (since we are both catholic).

I hope things work out for you both. Gotta do what you gotta do.

 

[ColdFusion718]

Originally posted by: jjones
Do what the wife and I did, get married now and then have the real wedding later. We had the civil ceremony in June out of the need to get it formalized, and then had our real wedding with all the family in October.

The only bad part (from a man's POV) is that I now have two anniversaries per year to remember.

 

[FunkierThanU]

Originally posted by: rgwalt

Originally posted by: jjones
Do what the wife and I did, get married now and then have the real wedding later. We had the civil ceremony in June out of the need to get it formalized, and then had our real wedding with all the family in October.

The only bad part (from a man's POV) is that I now have two anniversaries per year to remember.

Just tell her to choose one date. You don't get to have two wedding aniversaries per year. Easy enough!

R

Man, every date takes on significanse if you're not careful. There's the engagement, the 'when we met" , the first date, when she proposed (!!!), and the actual wedding anniversary. I play it up, bring flowers randomly and then say its for one or the other. It's all good.

I agree tho' that the date the state has is no big deal, but when things mellow out in your lives you oughta do a ceremony. The ceremony is primarily for you families no you. Your mom will probably be all hurt if she doesn't get to make a big fuss over you.

-funk